The "4 weeks and bricking it" lounge.

[Thandeka]

Hello,
Me and Wasabipeanut thought a specific thread for people in our boat may be nice- as lovely as the knicker checkers thread is and great support but a lot of the lovely knicker checkers are past the evil first trimester and for those of us that have just found out we are pregnant again post MC we thought it might be nice for us to have a sub lounge to huddle in and support each other in these very early stages where in a way we are still in denial about this pregnancy!

We don't have to post due dates or anything scary like that, just more a place to wobble with people going through it at same time.

So I will be only 4 weeks tommorrow and 40 days ago tommorrow I had an MMC at 10 weeks but emby died at 6/7 weeks. So am going to be petrified basically for at least the next 8 weeks and would love some handholding- especially as this time I am not telling anybody except DH and best mate. Parents need not know.

Hello quirkychick - just a quick question: would you do the amnio if you were 1/344 (like myself)? You made me laugh when you asked if the doctors were twice as bad in UK; OF COURSE they are!!!!! Only joking!!!!!!!!!!

jardins I wouldn't be offered it here as the cut off is 1/250! I think if the risk of mc is much higher than the risk of down's I would probably not. I would be happy with 1/344, still very low risk. My parents are in France, I think care over there is generally much better. Though, as I had private scan, you are generally treated pretty well for your money. Told I can phone consultant if I have any questions etc. He will phone me if risk after bloods is more than 1/250.

OK, here's the next pregnancy related worry. My daughter is having her annual 3 week stay with my parents in UK. They all have a lovely time so it's great BUT my mother (who gets on my nerves sometimes as many mothers do) has bought tickets to visit Convent Garden backstage with my daughter (who is mad about ballet these days). I am simply concerned about Swine Flu (yawn from all mumsnetters) and I can't help thinking that taking her to London is a bit risky. What do you guys think? I'm just worried that should she catch it and bring it home to France (where for the moment epidemic levels are much lower than in UK) I will not be able to look after her without running the risk of catching it. Plus, since we have just moved, I know nobody who can help out in hours of need. Am I being ridiculous? It's taken me 9 months to get pregnant and this is my last chance to have a baby. Sigh

Jardins you are not being ridicoulus (i have tried to spell that 4 times and its still not right, pregnancy brains), i am quite concerned about swine flu but i just keep thinking you could get it anywhere so not letting it stop me doing things.

I have told work today - yey, and its a big weight off my mind.

DD has an important hosp appt and they have changed it to the same day and time of my scan so i am going to have to try and change my scan, hope they dont out it back!

Jardins- get your daughter some alcohol rub and ask your mum to be extra vigilant about handwashing esp. after being on public transport etc. It would be a real shame for DD to miss the trip and with a few simple precautions she will be absolutely fine.

Hey ladies,

Pinky - Hope your MS naffs off soon! How did your booking in app go?

mynameis - So so sorry to hear your news . I really hoped it would be a positive outcome for you... Please do hang around, hope you're back soon with a new little bean growing strong. Hope you're doing ok, well as ok as you can be at the moment.

Thandeka - Thanks for the wedding anniversary good luck

At your stabbing story!!! How scary! You certainly did the right thing.

westlondongirl - Sorry you're still feeling so bad, wish there was something they could do to help you. Glad your scan went well and you saw the heartbeat, must have been a wonderful moment

quirkychic - Hope you get the blood results you want

HappyBump - Glad to see you back. Did you have a nice time?

Jardins - I have had loose stools sometimes and been constipated others, seems to swing between the two?! Sure it's just your body adjusting but if you're worried then see the gp... Keep hydrated though!

Jardins - You're not being ridiculous! Just do what you feel comfotable with, i'd probably feel the same in your position.

mummytopebs - How did work react?

Well, felt sick on and off today. Had to eat a crisp and marmite sandwich at 10am to stop myself spewing! I've gone from wishing for ms to wanting it to bugger off in a very short space of time.

Can't believe i'll be 7wks on fri. Seems to have come round quickly but slowly at the same time iyswim, every day is slow but then suddnely it's just here.

Was winging to dh about when to tell people today. As you know my bil and sil x2 know but noone else. Dh doesn't want to tell anyone else till 12 weeks. In theory I like this idea but I think it's harder for me than it is for him, he just has to keep schtum. I on the other hand have to pretend not to feel sick, refuse alcohol without looking suspicious, refuse certain foods and just generally act 'not pg'. It's quite tiring and although I like it being our secret i'm already not enjoying the sneaking around about it and just want to blurt it out (especially to his parents as we go round there all the time) so I can just relax and stop 'pretending'. Ok rant over. Any oppinions on this?

Hello everyone

Work reacted well really and i will be going on Maternity just after xmas.

How can peoples babys be heard before 12 weeks, i work with midwifes and i have asked 2 of them if they will listen to my tummy for a heartbeat and they have both said they wouldnt be able to hear it till 16 weeks! - Do you think this is because i work with them and they wouldnt know what to say if couldnt find heartbeat?

My nausea has completly disappeared now and i am worrying about that but i am 12 weeks now so please reassure me this is normal x

Hi my midwife friend listened to my bean at 9 weeks. and again at 10 weeks. but she did warn me that she might not get it..

Hi mummytopebs. Nausea going at 12 weeks is normal - all articles on internet say that. Personally I am clinging to the hope that it will go by then! You can certainly see a babies heartbeat on ultrasound before 12 weeks. I had a scan at 6 + 6 and the heartbeat was visible. Have you had your scan yet?

Is difficult to EASILY get a HB before 16 weeks as depends on the woman- how much the uterus has risen out of the pelvis, how much subcutaneous fat she has (i think) so that is why they dont advise trying before 16 weeks as if you cant find it it may cause unecessary panic.

Lucky you on the nausea disappearing! mine is easing but still there and am really hoping it goes in the next few weeks.
xxx

mummytopebs I think that a lot of midwifes will not try before 16 weeks as it is not always easy to pick up the heartbeat and so they don't want to alarm you unnecessarily if they cannot pick it up. Also MS is supposed to go around 12 weeks although for many women it can go on longer.

I am still in battle with MS I puke when I wake up and either feel sick or puke all day finishing off with a big puke at night...the only time I don't feel sick is when I am asleep...it is horrible

I have my scan tomorrow AM (I am 8 weeks) to see if everything is where it should be. Starting to feel nervous about it, but I guess the fact my head is permanently dow the loo at the moment means that things should be OK (?)

A question for you all: do you find your normal tolerance levels are significantly lower now you are pregnant? I am, I think, a relatively patient person, especially in a professional context but nowadays I am finding that an extra dose of hormones is giving me the guts to express my fustration more readily. Take my bank, for example. I got a mail on Tuesday from my bank guy telling me my high interest account had expired so all that money has been on my normal account (gaining no interest) for a few days now. In the mail he asked me to contact him asap. NOW we know, my husband and I, that everything we ask him to do takes at least a week and a half. I immediately sent him a mail asking him to send my some savings account propositions by mail and that we could then talk about it over the 'phone. (I can't pop in an see him as we have moved 3 hours drive away!). Four days later still no news. So I call the impossible irritating switchboard which always tells you the person you're trying to reach is in a meeting and could you call back? That's when the hormones started working their magic. I told the bored lady's voice I was more than fed up with the slow service and that everytime we tried calling Mr. X he NEVER called us back. She kept saying 'I understand but there's nothing I can do about it'. Bloody cheek. The only problem about venting your feelings is that you don't want to sound like a over emotional child, or, er, pregnant woman?

Sigh.

Sorry rant over....

On a much more relevant point. I am reading with interest about the amniocentisis in UK. Am I right in saying that it is not offered to you if your risk stats are over 1/250? I am still mulling over whether to have one or not with a 1/344 as in France they strong recommend the amniocentisis from 37 years onwards. What exactly is the deal in UK?

I think they let the patient choose but one way to weigh it up is to weigh up your risk against the risk of MC if you have the procedure- since your risk is lower than the risks associated with the procedure I'm not sure I would bother to be honest.

1 in 344 is great odds! but i do understand the what if....

jardins - I am COMPLETELY with you on the lack of patience thing. I'm being a complete horror at the moment. In-laws have been staying on and off for the past 3 weeks and I'm almost tearing my hair out despite the fact that they've been lovely and really helpful with DD. I just feel like I need to shut myself in a dark room at times.

Re your earlier post on swine flu - I think take the precautions suggested by Thandeka but don't let it worry you too much. It is still a v small risk but I can def sympathise with your concerns. I've been thinking about it a lot because I volunteer at a homeless shelter in an area of London that's heavily affected by swine flu (and a lot of the people I work with there are in high risk groups). Been trying to work out if I should stop going for the duration of pregnancy but don't want to seem neurotic... Any thoughts/advice gratefully received.

Jardins - I had CVS done on Monday due to 1 in 9 risk of DS! I wouldn't have bothered with your risk. It's come back negative and know I'm sat here worrying about every niggle in case it's caused me to miscarry.
Try and relax your odds are very low.

....and yes NHS only suggest invasive tests if if you have greater risk than 1 in 250

Consultant told me 1/250 too (I'm sure it was me that said it originally). Fingers crossed for you mowmi.

I am finding a definite lack of patience, trying to get myself and dd ready in the morning. I am biting my tongue - why can't you hurry up I feel sick! Each second is tortuous and I feel most crappy in the mornings.

How you all today? I think my nausea is more bearable today (almost 13 weeks)... and no runs for three days: fantastic!! Instead of all that I've had a stinking headache which won't shift with paracetamol. It's deffinitely a tension induced headache (parents getting on my nerves, etc.) A long walk with my son along the river has helped a little.

Have a lovely weekend.

My sickness/nausea is definitely better, similar to the 5/6wk stage. I have ventured no seabands today as fed up with them. I am still sick in the mornings a few times but better than the violently 4-8x a day/night for the past few wks. I am now 13+2. Mostly if I get hungry I feel sick but at least I'm not bringing up whole meals (sorry, tmi!).

I had a few headaches last week but they seem to have gone at the moment. I am finding activities for dd to do over the holidays to keep us occupied and have some mummy/daughter time as I have been a bit tired/boring at the mo. Your walk sounds lovely, Jardins.

Another vote for better here too. I did vomit a bit (caused by scraping congealed cornflakes and milk into the bin!) but the nausea is nothing like it was- haven't been wearing my seabands for last week or so either. Fingers crossed it goes completely soon.

Am excited today as I got a stunning armchair (Ikea Ektorp- red cord) free from freecycle- I wanted it for a nursing chair and am very happy as it was free saving myself £250!

Ooops, nausea is back tonight. I've been making a glut of veggie soups these past couple days (it is sooooo nice to enjoy cooking again - these past weeks have been hell as the very sight of a saucepan sent me running into the bathroom) but garlic and onions and red peppers still make me gag a little and then when you chop them the smell lingers on your fingers, yukkkkkkkk.

The cravings are starting a little. Yesterday (please don't laugh) I downed an entire small jar of anchovies - heaven, and now I yearn for chilie sauce. Hmmmm. Ladies can I tell you about my very embarrassing but amazing cravings for my past two pregnancies? With my daughter it was creosote and with my son coffee grounds. My DH is looking forward to this time round.....

I'm so glad you're feeling better Thandeka and Quirkychick That's fab. I think what happens, if my memory serves me well, that the nausea, etc. doesn't just disappear, rather you get more and more good days with the odd not so good day after 12 weeks. I'll be curious to know if it's the same for you ladies.

ps Pinkyblue123 how did your scan go today?

Sorry itsalwaysthequietones for not answering your question sooner re: your work and swine flu. You know, I'm really not a panicmonger (spelt right?) normally but I can't help thinking that your baby must come first and that maybe, just maybe, you could hold off temporarily from this very worthwhile work. It's hard to have to weigh up your pregnancy with such a good cause but I honestly think this is the only time when you are entitled to being selfish.

What does everyone else think?

itsalwaysthequietones I think I agree that I would be selfish in your situation as it's not just you but your bean too. But only you know the risks involved.

jardins you have inspired me to make a big pot of minestrone type soup - yum! You can get rid of garlic/onion smell from your hands by rubbing your fingers against the bowl of a stainless steel spoon when you wash them (a cheaper version of those metal things in lakeland). Not sure how it works, though but it does!

For all of us thinking about screening tests and amnios here is an interesting site with information and a helpline.