The "4 weeks and bricking it" lounge.

[Thandeka]

Hello,
Me and Wasabipeanut thought a specific thread for people in our boat may be nice- as lovely as the knicker checkers thread is and great support but a lot of the lovely knicker checkers are past the evil first trimester and for those of us that have just found out we are pregnant again post MC we thought it might be nice for us to have a sub lounge to huddle in and support each other in these very early stages where in a way we are still in denial about this pregnancy!

We don't have to post due dates or anything scary like that, just more a place to wobble with people going through it at same time.

So I will be only 4 weeks tommorrow and 40 days ago tommorrow I had an MMC at 10 weeks but emby died at 6/7 weeks. So am going to be petrified basically for at least the next 8 weeks and would love some handholding- especially as this time I am not telling anybody except DH and best mate. Parents need not know.

Oh Joy I think you mean happybump! My scan's not until the 10th July - ages away, I will be nearly 13wks. Then I have a nuchal scan on 14th July, so I won't really relax until then. What's happening with you?

Jardins that is really good news, you can start to relax, well pack and move .

Anybody got any cravings? I have been really into cheese, and then I was into stir fry veg (at least it's healthy!) and today I don't know what I fancy.

Thanks for the support. The news still hasn't sunk in yet.... If I get sick then I would have to tell my employer but I really don't want to tell anyone till 12 weeks. I keep getting this cramping that's like light period pain which scares me. Going to see the doctor today. Wish I didn't feel so anxious about EVERYTHING! I'm actually losing weight at the moment from worry.

Quirky- durrr, yes of course! My brain isn't working. There are so many of us here now that you have to keep a mental note of what's happening with whom as you scroll through the posts!

Westlondongirl we can all sympathise with the complete panic! I think some cramping is quite normal- hopefully your doc will be able to reassure you. Good luck.

How is everyone today? I am feeling relatively OK. Have found that my partner waking me up with breakfast in bed, so I eat the moment I wake up, is really helping with the queasiness.

Joy I have packet of crackers by the bed to help, usually wake up in the night sick/hungry too. I was like this before I even tested!

westlondongirl work is a worry early on,I was like this in my first pg. Our headteacher was off on long term sick and we had a county head drafted in. I had to let him know as I had a major bleed at work, actually he was completely lovely but I hadn't intended to tell anyone. It is a tricky one. You are most vulnerable, often feel sick/tired and have to try and hide it. [sympathy emoticon]

hello

The scan went well, there is a bean that has a heartbeat, which is good news. However, unfortunately I am measuring 4 days smaller than I had hoped. I am now petrified that I will have another slow miscarriage. My DH has told me that I am ridiculous and that I should feel happy. He just doesn't get the fear and worry. I haven't slept at night in 3 days I am so worried. All I wanted him to do was to tell me that it will all be okay in a nice way and give me a hug, instead of shouting at me outside the hospital when I had a few tears running down my face. I know it is only 4 days but to me it is like I am going backwards or treading water.
We get on a very long plane journey on Friday and will be visiting my DH's family. Last time I was pregnant they were visiting at exactly the same time frame of the pregnancy 9+ weeks. I am so afraid it will be history repeating itself and that we will all celebrate the pregnancy and then I will have to tell them a week later when we return home that it will all be over.

I know many of these fears are totally irrational but to me they are very real. Of course, pregnancy hormones, progesterone and being completely knackered aren't helping.

So westlondongirl I think your complete panic is normal!

to everyone

good luck with moving wasabi and jardins (congratulations on your healthy scan)

Oh happybump, I can sooo sympathise. At a scan the other week (following a bleed) I discovered I was 8 days behind where I thought I was! I was gutted. The weeks go so slowly without this sort of "setback". I also panicked that I hadn't got my dates wrong and my bean just wasn't growing properly.

Then I went on holiday to the same house I went to last year just after my miscarriage. When I had another bleed I was convinced it was happening again- that this was my "miscarriage place" (I know it sounds bizarre/irrational, but there it is). Luckily another scan showed that not only was all well, but the bean was developing as it should be- it really was just the dates which were out, not a slow-growing bean.

My partner also finds it much easier not to worry than I do. Possibly because he doesn't feel every little twinge and symptom- or lack of. Sorry your dp acted like a buffoon- I'm sure he was trying to help...

On the other hand- and more important than all of the above- CONGRATULATIONS on your scan and hurrah for beans with heartbeats!

So my visit to the doctor wasn't encouraging. When I said I had mild cramping she made a very concerned face and said it's not normal. She said to come back at the end of next week or sooner if I have a miscarriage. Then she will arrange for an early scan to see if the "embryo is viable" . What does that even mean? Needless to say I feel worse than I did before I went. As I was leaving she said "congratulations" even though she spent most of the time talking about losing the baby and bleeding. Does anyone know why , if you don't bleed, you still have to have an early scan? Confused & worried.

WestLondonGirl I am livid for you. Your midwife is giving you mixed messages and it's not good enough How can she congratulate you and tell you you are going to have a miscarriage? Plus cramping pains (period-like) are normal. If they weren't normal none of us would be pregnant at the 6-10 week stage, would we?

I'm sure (as much as a complete stranger can be) that you will be ok.

Be brave and allow yourself to be cross with your midwife. Maybe she's mishearing the word cramps to mean something much stronger? (I'm trying to be fair to her....)

Oh westlondongirl you poor thing. An early scan sees if there is an embryo with a heartbeat in the pregnancy sac. At 6 wks they can detect a heartbeat. If they scan too early they sometimes can't tell you if it's all ok. The scan may well be internal if it's early. Can they give you a blood test to see what your hcg levels are? This shows how well the pg is progressing though I'm not sure if there is a restriction on how early they do this. You could always retest to see if you are still pg but sometimes that way madness lies!

A friend of mine was signed off work for cramping but no bleeding. Her dd is now 5yrs old so not normal but not necessarily disastrous. Good luck. x

Westlondongirl - I mentioned my early cramps to the early pregnancy unit and they did not bat an eyelid - entirely normal... please try not to worry.

Thanks for the support everyone and for the scan explanation. This site is brilliant - can't talk to anyone else about it yet. I also asked if there was anything I could do if I got morning sickness - the response "no". Not very encouraging. Good luck with all your beans!

westlondongirl if you get very bad morning sickness and are at risk of dehydration you can get medication, I think you have to be very sick though. There are lots of things you can do to help, such as regular snacks, seabands etc. I worked full-time with horrible sickness in 1st pg, but I told my classroom assistant and there were toilets in the classroom too if when I needed to throw up. Tiredness can be a bit of a killer on the work front too. Try to rest when you get home/at the weekend. Hard, I know.

westlondongirl, for me, the things that seem to stave off nausea are iced water with lime, and eating constantly! (healthy things like rice cakes, cottage cheese, fruit etc). I'm sure others have different advice to add- in fact there's a thread on MN about this very subject.

As for your midwife- try to ignore. She's not being constructive at all. What I try to repeat to myself is "what will be, will be". Nothing that anyone says/I do/I feel (emotionally or physically) will change whether this bean sticks with me or not. It doesn't take away the anxiety but it does help you to realise that it's essentially out of your hands... I find that thought quite calming.

I am willing your bean to grow, grow, grow!

How is everyone else?

I am alright, enjoying the brief pauses of feeling fine in between the extended retcherama that has become my life (no actual vomiting still... just sudden retching). Am eating for England and will soon be size of house. Ho hum.

Still feeling pretty calm about things. Seeing the heartbeat on Monday really soothed me. My 12w scan is in 4 weeks and I hope to maintain tihs positive attitude til then (ho ho ho, let's see how that works out!)

Westlondongirl I am very cross on your behalf. As the others have said cramping is perfectly normal in the early days. I'm not sure what the hell your midwife thought she was saying. As Joy so rightly says the outcome of any pregnancy is pretty much determined at the point of conception. It's a bugger to accept (and as most of us here have suffered losses we find it harder than some) but it is true. Other than trying to eat something vaguely nutritious from time to time and stay away from booze'nfags and the other 4057 substances pg women should avoid you really can't do much other than wait. Which is bloody difficult. On the upside you'll get an early scan out of it!

On the subject of morning sickness some people find that they can use some things to alleviate it slightly - acupressure bands, eating a biscuit or soemthing before getting out of bed etc. but some can't really calm it down at all. It is a lottery! I can keep mine pretty much at bay by eating regularly although the odd random retch still catches me out at times. I also find that it makes car/motion sickness about 1000 times worse so be warned.

Happybump so to read your post. I don't think your dp reacted brilliantly tbh but I also have some understanding of how frustrated partners can get with us. It is difficult for them to truly understand because it isn't their body. And 4 days is an eternity in early pregnancy.

Please try to remember that it was still a positive scan - a heartbeat at this stage massively decreases the risk of loss. Try and enjoy your holiday and relax as much as is possible - is there any way you can keep it quiet when you are there? It may take the pressure off a little? x

How's everyone else in this groundhog trimester? I have little to report (8+3 in the Big Peanut house) - just wanted to see how we were all getting on!

Hello ladies, haven't posted for a while but have been lurking when I have time. Am now 5+4 and just cannot wait to get to the 7 week mark (my MC was at 6.5 weeks) but I know when I get to that point I'll be obsessed with getting to 12 weeks - I can't believe how long the first first trimester is. It seems like an age until I'll be able to tell anyone. The only person who knows at the moment is DH.

Happybump - can completely sympathise, I remember feeling like you during my last pregnancy and DH being quite frustrated by it. This time he's even more anxious than I am.

BTW anyone know what the chances of an early scan are? I had MC in 2007, then a successful pregnancy but with heavy bleeding at the start. No bleeding so far this time around but equally no symptoms so do I have a case for the EPU?

Hi All,
I'm struggling- currently staying with MiL in somerset while DH is at Glasto. Bit nauseous today but nothing like what it was and still feel tired (have had afternoon sleeps everyday), am just convincing myself that because my symptoms have faded then its not going to work out again. I also currently have a nasty pain in my right hand side - like a trapped nerve making it uncomftorable to sit. Yuk. But on the other hand I am often made aware of "activity" in my womb- I don't mean movements or anything ridoculous like that- more an "awareness" there is something in there and its alive- and I don't remember that sensation from last time so maybe it'll be okay. Have even stopped wearing my seabands in an effort to feel really sick!

Anyhow thats enough about me:

Alwaythequietones- I would phone your EPU and find out- mine was very good and gave me an early scan last time (when I had no history of MC but was worried about cramping)) and this time I have had 2 early scans and another in a week and a half (so 3 scans before my 12 week one!) (although that was because of a suspected ectopic) bewarned though a scan too early even if you see a heartbeat may unfortunately still not work out. My early scan in my last pregnancy had a heartbeat and was told I wouldn't miscarry! I did 4 weeks later but the emby had died a few days after that scan. Not to scare the bejeezus out of you but ealry scans at 6 weeks with HB have 78% of being sucessful. Early scans with HB at 8 weeks have 98% chance of being sucessful and Early scans at 10 weeks have 99.4% chance of being sucessful.

Fingers crossed for us all. Want to reply to more but this pain in the side means its time for a lie down.

xxx

Hello! I am new to this thread. Got a BFP yesterday and DH and I are over the moon!

However Westlondongirl is taking the words right out of my mouth, I agree so much with her!

I'm 4weeks pregnant and keep thinking doom and gloom about what may go wrong! :-(

I went to GP clinic today to arrange an appointment with my GP and to tell his receptionist that I got a positive home preg test.

She said the next appointment is 6 July. I told her I'm going on a 2 week holiday from 9th July, but she couldn't give me an earlier date.

She also told me that GP wouldn't do any tests to confirm pregnancy, would just take my word for it!

This is a whole brave new world for me.

Hello everyone, I am a lurker, I follow this thread everyday though I don't post in case I 'jinx' things which no-one other than on here understands!

Westlondongirl I think the word 'cramp' provokes negative thoughts is it more like stretching? I worry about every twinge that I get everyday. However, they are my only symptoms I am (if I still am) up the duff apart from enourmous boobs. OSCAR tomorrow so no sleep forme tonight!

Thandeka hope the pain will be nothing more than it should be, you are in my neck of the woods, I live in somerset, used to go to Glasto every year before the blasted proper fences and security came in!! Would climb over, drive home every night for bath and warm sleep then back the next day (the things used to do when I was young!)

hello
joy,wasabi, itsalways thanks for your kind words of sympathy/empathy. It really is a rollercoaster of emotions. Today I am feeling pretty optimistic and also excited for my holiday which is nice. DH apologised for being such a thoughtless schmuck (my words not his obviously ), I don't think he knows quite what to do really, he's not used to seeing me so vulnerable. I am usually (outwardly) the optimist.

westlondongirl - people can be so insensitive! medical professionals are just so matter-of-fact and clinical, they forget that you are a person who has feelings and have already started a bond with your bean. It's hard enough coping with all the fears and anxieties that are going on in your own head with out them adding to them. As the others have said it would be great if you can get an early scan it does help to reassure you.

On that note Thandeka ... you did scare the beejeezus out of me with your statistics on early scans! although I the other stats of successful scans reassured happily reassured me . We are all so fragile. I hope you are feeling calmer yourself ... Somerset is a lovely part of the world, my parents live in Somerset.

TLC welcome, I remember your name from one of the conception threads, hurrah for your BFP. You are in the right place we are all as nervous as anything and unfortunately it is just a waiting game now.

wasabi I think we are exactly the same on dates now

Take care everyone ... I'm off to pack, we have a long day ahead of us tonight and I am hoping for an early night.

Thandeka - thanks for your advice, I'm going to give is a shot if I even get to next week. Know what you mean about early scans. I got a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks then miscarried later the same day.

Am now completely convinced I'm about to miscarry again - just had a really flushed feeling and suddenly felt really hot. Took my temp which was up to 37.4 and last time they said a raised temperature was one of the MC signs. Feel so down about it and there's absolutely nothing I can do. Just have to sit it out.

Happybump - glad you are feeling upbeat. Hope you get your early night and feel nice and chilled tomorrow.

Help somebody! I'm almost at 9 and a half weeks and I just found a little thick brown discharge when I wiped (sorry tmi). I am panic stricken. I had a scan on Monday and everything was fine, although I am aware that is no guarantee. I have had less nausea since yesterday evening although this too has happened in this pregancy from time to time. My husband is away until Saturday evening, my kids need picking up at school and I DO NOT want to return to the hospital where I found out, courtesy of a very unfeeling doctor, that I had had a mc 3 months ago. My doctor is in Paris, my husband is in Tours and I feel really scared and alone.

Hi jardins - sorry you're feeling so scared. If it's any help at all, I was told when I mc'd that brown discharge = 'old blood' therefore not so much of a worry whereas bright red blood is a cause for concern. Can you call your local GP and ask to speak to a different doctor if yours is away? I imagine they would suggest you go for a scan early next week unless you have any more bleeding.

If you had a heartbeat at 9 weeks that is a really good sign.

jardins, poor you, that sounds really scary. I had some brown blood at 6w and all was absolutely fine- they said old blood is not a worry. Then I had some pink/red blood at 7w- again all was fine. I'm sure it will be for you too. Doesn't stop it being terrifying though. Got everything crossed for you...

Is there a French equivalent of the NHS Direct phoneline you could contact to talk it over with someone?

Jardins honey we can all get an idea of how scared you must be
but you need to get this checked out to stop you from going mad with worry.

Is there another GP/hospital you can go to for an emergency scan?

You know it is likely that is well but you should still get it checked.

Is there anyone who could pick your kids up and care for them until you have had it investigated?

Dear wasabi, you know I think it's going to be hard to go today as I have to take both my kids to two different appointments and I just don't want to ask anyone else to do that for me. I SUPPOSE what I could do is monitor things and aim to go on Monday WITH my husband. I just don't want to go alone after the last experience.

Is there any chance this could be a result of my internal scan on Monday? I guess if my morning sickness doesn't kick in with a vengence and/or I get more brown discharge I will go on Monday. I think what I am trying to say is I'd rather have two days of fretting and my husband with me than facing all this alone. (I feel so pathetic and tearful). The worst thing is I'm already preparing myself for the worst.

One thing is for sure though: I have reached a conclusion some weeks ago that if this pregnancy should end in mc I will not be trying again. I am 40 and have two children. So this is my last chance.

Thank you for listening and please give me some response as it will keep me going.