The Fantastic Forties Forum

[johnworf]

Pregnant or Popped. Partial to Cake. Thrills, Spills & Bellyaches....and SO much more. Come on in for 'mature' chat (go on, I dare you!)

hehe, heron, it's a phrase from an ad board outside a hospital in the US, which was touting C-sections with the slogan: 'Keep your honeymoon freshness by choosing to deliver by C-section'. I thought that managed to be insidious and hilarious at the same time . What it means is not completely clear, but I assume it means 'virginal tightness'. Too late for me, I fear.

OOh mrsb. I like all of those dresses

I'm not sure what the debate re CS v induction is about but I suppose I can jump in with my offering. I've had 2 inductions (1st and 2nd pregnancies). 1st ended up with forceps which wasn't a pleasant experience at all. That forceps scar gave on my second and third babies. The third giving me a third degree tear which I don't recommend to anyone. On K I pleaded with them to give me a CS as I could not go through that tear again and in my logic, I thought it would go again and especially calling into question a large GD baby.

Anyway, I'd go for a CS anyday over an induction. Inductions are just so 'suck it and see' and they don't always work anyway.

jeanie after 17 year gap my belly, uterus, piles and whatever else sagged before, all sagged out almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant.

hedgepig have you tried O on baby juice instead of milk? He might start having a bit more solid food if he's not full up on milk

It's rained so hard here nearly all day. Can't believe it. The poor patio man was working out in it all day too.

I've just been assembling my cake boxes and making pull bows to go on top. Bloody boxes are slightly too small (by an inch) for the cake so I'm gonna have to be very creative in how I cut the thing up. DH thinks it's hilarious After I'd spent over an hour making the bows, assembling boxes and glueing bows on, his advice was 'just throw them away and give them serviettes'.

ermin I wasn't suggesting that the belief that giving birth naturally is macho crap - I do think that choosing a CS over natural birth for no reason at all (too posh to push or whatever) is plain daft even just in terms of recovery time BUT for people with GD who aren't allowed to go past 38 weeks or in tee's position then a CS over an induction is a perfectly valid choice and in that situation its nonsense to say you are a failure not to go through labour.

Mind you my pelvic floor hasn't suffered too badly from the ventouse -although the failed induction was a horrible experience.

x-post Tee. Agree absolutely, making out that having a CS = failure as a woman is completely dumb as well as nasty, and is the equivalent of someone I was talking to yesterday who said I must be a masochist to have laboured twice without drugs and be hoping to do the same again . Why do women do this to each other? So much for sisterhood. I don't care diddly squat how my friends have their babies as long as they're happy about it and the babes are well.

As Morrissey says so eloquently:

So how can anybody say they know how I feel,
The only one around here who is me
Is me?

I love that man

Evening all it's honeymoon fresh JJ here ermintrude - that's hilarious!

tee I had a fabulous elective c-sec with Verity. I chose to stay in an extra night (3 in all) and the healing process was great. I did learn a lot from the emerg C-sec (failed induction etc, etc) and to have it planned was so much better. I took arnica tablets two days before and then after the op, plus I popped some acidopholus tablets to help the old stomach lining combat the anti-Bs and drugs; the effect was brilliant. I also took something nice to drink - and drank lashings in order to get the wee going. Within a week I felt great and was (although I shouldn't have) picking Iris up after 3weeks.

onehit good to hear maternity leave est arrive! And love the fact you've got the hair straightners....getting your priorities right - good girl - I approve

Jeannie pleased to hear that head is on the mend...and yes, the elastic belly definately loses its bounce-back ability!

hedgepig Oooer, I didn't know that about MN towers...cyber-jack Funny you mention that about O - I've noticed Verity is becoming a boob-milk hound and consequently not wanting solids

RIght - bed - I'm shagged (and not in that way) fingers crossed that the night-owl actually gives us all some sleep.

D is being just unbelievable re sleep. Arrived at nursery this evening where they were like because he hadn't slept a wink all day. So, he starts falling asleep in the buggy on the way home and we put him up to bed. Half an hour later he's down for a bottle. Back up to bed. No go. He is still up now - he has been going for 14 hrs now, with 8hrs in nursery and is full of beans and chat! He's watching the Apprentice babyshow thing!

..and x-post mrsb. I think we all agree with each other, aren't we boring and reasonable? . Glad the ventouse didn't do you any lasting damage. Ouch at the forceps JW. I think that having experienced how powerful the process of labour is once it gets going I'd be v doubtful that inducing it could match that feeling of progress which is what made it bearable for me. Hours and hours of sluggish contractions and painful pushing would do me in completely. Remember, I'm going for 40 mins all in this time

Ooooh that take off pushchair!

/wants

mrsb perhaps D is actually planning to be on next year's apprentice No time for sleep when you've got an empire to run...sleep is for whimps

Hi All

Iris - I really am going to try and relax but will have to do some cleaning and lots of washing at some stage.

Interesting debate on the C-section question. I was induced with DD and did the pushing stage without any pain relief (and the whole first stage on the ward with no support or help because no one believed i was in labour ). I was really proud of myself and actually the pushing wasn't too bad, but DD got stuck crowning for about 15-20 minutes. Luckily an episiotomy got her out, but the whole thing left me with a very damaged pelvic floor, a displaced cocyx which took over a year to heal and other 'issues'. So although my induction was successful in that I did deliver DD vaginally, overall in hindsight a C-section first time would probably have been a better option than the induction.
I would happily do the whole thing again if I could be told i wouldn't risk those problems again, but of course no one can tell me that, so an elective it is.

Sorry if TMI .

onehit we don't know the meaning of 'TMI' here.

I agree with everyone on the what the hell happened to the sisterhood idea. Makes me crazy. We're all women, we're all (almost) mothers! Shouldn't we be supporting each other??

I don't get how some people seem to be given the option of an elective no problem at all and others get refused them no matter what their issues are. I wonder what would happen if you simply refused an induction?

OMG, that is just so funny "virginal freshness"

my mother had 4 of us vaginal natural delivery and she said that after each baby, her obgyn "fixed" her so that she was not "loose". i know! TMI! i never did ask her how her obgyn did it! sounds like ouch!

but then a c section is no walk in the park either!
fact is, us mums deserve a great big medal! no matter how you get the baby out, it is not easy! but so worth it

not sure what is going on with LO. he normally takes around 120mls at 10.30pm. the last 2 nights, he has not taken much at all.
during the day he did not eat extra or anything.

morning all

lovely bright day here and i still got this cold that has been with me for 2 months now!

ok off to try give LO boob again see if he is ready for his breakfast

heron my mum had 6 of us vaginally and did miscarry a 7th due to a prolapse and had to have a hysterectomy, but then her mum had 2 babies and still prolapsed so it could be in the family (yikes). I wonder what your mum's doctor did to 'fix' her . I see some sort of drawstring contraption...

• but that was nothing like the damage you describe onehit - of course you'd go for an elective CS after all that.

My mum also said that in the 'good old days' when she was training as a doctor any surgeon who was also a gentleman would, without asking, remove a lady's 'fatty apron' whilst performing any sort of abdominal surgery including CS. .

JJ I've heard such good things about arnica tablets - to take before any sort of delivery - that I might just have to get some. I knew about the cream being good for bruises but didn't realise they could work internally too.

Good morning all!

So, JJ, how much Arnica did you take and where do you get it? Now that I know for 99.999% sure that I'll be having a CS, maybe I'll think about taking it!

ermintrude I was envisioning something similar...

Oh, God, Family. I sent my aunt an email asking her about family names, because my dad is clueless. Could she just send me a list of names? No, she had to write me a 1.5 page email on naming conventions and what I should and should not name the baby. I am tempted to ignore her advice and name it what she told me not to name it, just for spite. But I won't.

Waiting on a delivery today, may be my Amby, although I only ordered it on Sunday. Have no clue what else it might be though!

Morning all

Tee arnica is widely available (Boots/ chemists/ any health food shop - you can get it on line too - "Helios" is a good site). 30c is the usual potentcy to get and you just take a couple of tabs a day for a few days before then again, but twice a day for about a week afterwards. Hypericum is good for any cuts/surgery so you could take that too. Since there's no chemical reaction with homeopathy, there's no chance of any contraindications.
Arnica cream is fab for bruises and hypercal cream for cuts etc (hypericum and calendula - very healing) also widely available. HTH

mrsb - thanks for the link - those dresses are lovely (particularly the grey - looks very dress up/downable ) and I agree with you about the competetive birthing/mummy mafia types who get all sniffy about births - so much of it is circumstance. I think we all deserve bloody medals for even considering reproducing, let alone anything else!

ermintrude lol at the "fatty apron" removal. Made me instantly thing of other fatty bits I'd love to have removed during a childbirth op (- anyone remember Mo off Eastenders in sleb Big Brother bemoaning her fat fanny )

I've a MW appointment later. Hopefully we'll have a chat about possible HB - 4th time lucky? She's not keen, because I had GD before, I think.I'm trying not to start getting my hopes up but it's very hard. I need to sort out contingency plans for the boys assuming a hospital birht first.

Off to do some cleaning.... (why, oh why is it that, as soon as DH walks through the door, the house is an absolute tip?? - still, glald he's home though)

so funny about the fatty apron! wish my obgyn did it! seriously tho, these days most surgeons would not do fat removal at the same time as a c section.

now ladies, i need to vent. i am not sure what is going on with my darling LO. about 4 days ago, he started refusing boob for breakfast. mind you, i offer the said boob at around 7.20am. he refuses. like he was not hungry. i find that hard to believe cos the last time he ate was 11pm the night before.

anyway, the minute i put him in the breastfeeding position, he starts complaining, crying. etc. so i let him chill. i go have breakfast of my own. then i come back later to try again. at this point, it is about 7.40am. he starts crying really hard that his face go all puce, he starts coughing, the works. after about 5 mins of this performance (like i was trying to kill him!) he would then start to suckle.

so this morning, he was suckling away, and then my bloody cold caused me to sneeze. now, i really did try to hold in that sneeze cos i knew it would frighten the crap out of my LO! but i failed and i sneezed! he was scared shitless and cried and cried and all hell broke loose! DS1 and DH came in the room asking why is baby crying? what is wrong etc? at this point, the said baby stopped crying and started socialising, smiling etc.

and then it was time to take DS1 to nursery. by the time we got back, baby was fast asleep. i offered him boob he took it with no protest. suckled very nicely.

now ladies, what is the deal? is it behavioural? is my boob running out of milk?
is it my underarm odour? just joking!

Crap. did a long post and lost the whole lot even though I copied it.

Anyhoo, ermintrude I do believe that apron is the correct term for the saggy overhang of tummy, used by surgeons?

I also recall that after having my second child (induced, 7lb 15oz, fairly quick labour) the doc who stitched me up offered to 'put an extra stitch in' for me. No idea if he was joking or he actually did.

It's pouring with rain here again.

mrsb did you have any luck with D sleeping last night?

K seems to have bounced back as only babies can do. Not even any signs of snot today.

tee whatever you do with your baby, you're bound to upset someone. I went the whole nine yards and upset everyone in my family by not allowing them to see her when she was in NICU. shrug You'll soon get used to it and either sink or swim.

Exciting getting your Amby. Now, no having a sly jump in it when no one is looking!

Finished my cake boxes that are too small. They look lovely if nothing else.

heron I guess it could be a number of things. Was his nappy dirty before you put him to you? Is he teething? Are you taking anything for your cold that could make your milk taste differently? Are you putting deoderant under your arms before you put him there?

You need to put your deerstalker hat on I'm afraid!

Or, it could be none of the above and he's just playing silly buggers. They do that sometimes

haha jw yes i need somekind of funny hat!

well, i am not taking anything for cold. have not eaten anything new either. nappy changed before feeding. have not put on deodorant before either!

sounds like he is playing silly buggers. cos once he is sleepy enough he does latch on nicely. did that happen with your LO?

heron K has many little tricks when she's having her bottle apart from refusing it when she's hungry. She likes to spit it out on my clothes or alternatively, a raspberry full of milk is nice too

She just likes to remind me who is the boss around here.

i see what u mean jw my LO has started chewing on my poor nipple just for fun ! not nice!

he also chews on my finger. i think his gums are starting to get whatever before teeth comes out.

morning all

jw we put him up to bed around ten and he went off no problem. Seems he is acquiring the ability to ignore tiredness Of course he is knackered this morning. Also seems to have the runs. Not sure what it is as he isn't sick but every bottle seems to go right through him straight after feeding for the last two days. Any thoughts ladies?

Fatty apron removal is what the slebs have isn't it when they have their too posh topush C/Ss? Should be available in the nhs IMO!

Ohhh Amby time tee exciting! what colour did you go for?