Baby hand-me-downs gripe

[Poppet45]

Bah humbug...
Sorry to sound like a real ungrateful mare but this is our first little one, money is going to be very tight and as we're moving halfway across the country when I'm around 7-8 months pregnant we're starting to amass our little hoard of baby things now.
We have loads of family and friends who have had little ones in the last five years, and they keep saying 'ooh yes we'll sort you lots of things out'.
What have we ended up with? Eight soft toys FFS... one of which is very likely to even be the wrong colour if my little one is a boy as all the sonographers suspect, and the generous benefactor has also been told that. Oh and then we tried to get a freecycle pushchair from this woman who stipulated 'no time wasters' then she expertly arranged for us to come round as she was feeding her baby was incredibly rude, wouldn't show us how it even folded down and palmed off a filthy buggy, covered in I suspect vomit, and also missing a wheel, which she insisted had been pulled off it overnight. Honestly, it feels like we're being used as garbage collectors.
Am starting from scratch with an NCT nearly new sale and eBay. Can you lovely ladies between you suggest the bare minimum a babe needs in terms of furniture and equipment and clothes and I'll use it to tick it off as I go. PS I'm expecting a lovely little summer baby.
Thanks.

Please tell me that this post isn't for real.

5 vests, 5 babygrows, some nappies, some muslins. A sling (Moby or a ring sling). Two cellular blankets. A moses basket and a carseat.

All except carseat easy to buy at NCT sale, or second hand (For Sale boards here are good)

Why Cantsleepwontsleep do I sound that hideously, hideously ungrateful? You didn't recently palm off a vomit encrusted pushchair on two strangers did you?

Thanks for the shortlist CMOTdibbler. I don't need a car seat - no car - so that's one less thing to worry about.

I'm impressed that she managed to force you and your DH out of the door and all the way back to your house with the pushchair while feeding a baby!

If you can't walk home from hospital, they won't let you out without one though, so you may have to get one. If you were moving near me, I'd give you my one which I haven't got round to Freecycling.

Have you posted a Wanted ad on Freecycle - I think a lot of people don't post their baby stuff until someone wants it.

Check whether your council does a cloth nappy incentive scheme too - that can kit you out for nothing

You do actually poppet. I really thought this was a wind up (which I notice you haven't denied ).

And no, I haven't ever palmed off any pushchair, as I am still using mine.

Your baby won't care what colour its toys are.
If the woman you visited was feeding her baby that would have been because her baby needed feeding, and quite right that she put the baby first.

You won't need a moses basket if you co-sleep.

I'm a bit intrigued as how a cuddly toy can be 'the wrong colour', as if the baby could give a toss. And by getting something from freecycle, surely the deal is you get what you're given? There's a clue in the 'free' part of the word.

So, yes. I think you are being a mite ungrateful.

I too am expecting a summer baby, and have been given stuff in varying stages of decrepitude/vomit encrustation, but with the proviso that I can chuck them away if I don't want them. Which seems perfectly fair.

Cyteen she didn't even let us in her house, she'd dumped the pushchair in the garden over night, peered at us through her half shut door while leaving her kid unattended, then slammed it in our faces. If it was so inconvenient for her why did she insist on that time? We were tempted to put the blooming thing in her bin but we had a hire car to pick it up, and we don't have it now.

CMOT dibbler, we're thinking a sling and a bus, will the hospital kick up a fuss about that? Otherwise what about a from birth buggy and a walk?
We've got four cloth nappies from our council scheme too, maybe the new council when we move will be a way of getting more.

Yeah you're probably right about the pink toy. If it's a boy it'll appeal to his sensitive side... or our sense of humour.

Sorry to sound ungrateful, but all this stuff will have to be moved right across the country, and for once we're using professional movers as I'll be so knocked up, so it ends up costing us desperately money in both movers and boxes and people know that.

Equally replacing the missing buggy wheel will cost the same as getting a second hand buggy. Why didn't she just put it in the bin, it doesn't fold up either as its so rusty?

And no it's not a wind-up...

How come you seem to expect people to kit you out? You sound dreadful.

Chuck the buggy in the bin. That will save you having to buy a new wheel for a rusty buggy that you wouldn't be happy with anyway, and it will also save you from having to move it using your desperately expensive packers.

I'm not expecting that!! I asked if people had any of their old baby gear in their lofts. They all said yes, and said they didn't want it any more, but then proceeded to give me soft toys.
They're all parents, as are many of you, would it be your first priority to amass as many toys as possible? Seriously???

I'm not expecting that!! I asked if people had any of their old baby gear in their lofts. They all said yes, and said they didn't want it any more, but then proceeded to give me soft toys.
They're all parents, as are many of you, would it be your first priority to amass as many toys as possible? Seriously???

I guess I'm just pissed off as I regularly give stuff away on Freecycle but only items that are in a fit state for reuse - the hint, free 'cycle' is in the name.

you can get everything you need second hand from ebay or sales (nearly new sales are generally cheaper than NCT ones IME), or freecycle.

Post a polite wanted add, and see what you get! if you're so hard up, surely you qualify for a surestart grant? My sister didn't have any money and got £500 when she had her LO. Was a bit at the time, as you can get everything you need for much less than that.

I remember being mortified at a HUGE bag of cuddly toys being 'dumped' on DD. But now they keep her occupied, playing "Flying Cat" and "Bat Bitey".

But I see your point, vests are more useful!

They are not desperately expensive packers, but we've never been able to afford any packers before... and don't want to waste what was once money from my dead mum to use as a deposit for our first place shifting other people's crap.
After over a decade renting, we've given up on ever affording a place of our own even though we both work our asses off, so it isn't deposit money anymore but the less of that money I get through now the longer I can stay off with the little one.
Maybe some of you lot get your parents to buy lots of bits for the baby. That must be nice.

how about you go to a charity shop and BUY the essentials as listed by CMKOTdibbler. (apart from car seat)

Then say thank you (cause I haven't heard you say it yet!) to all the other people who are giving you baby things FOR FREE, whether they meet your exacting standards or not.

And fret not, people will buy the baby clothes. You give it love and as many cuddly toys as you can amass!

"Maybe some of you lot get your parents to buy lots of bits for the baby. That must be nice."

Yes, I'm sure loads of people here totally rely on their parents to kit our the nursery

my MIL saw the announcement of my first pregnancy as an opportunity to unburden her attic in our direction - bushels of crap including

an olive-green yellow-fringed rusting Silver Cross coach-built pram "for putting him out in the garden"

hundreds of vomit-stained/sick-stiffened baby clothes circa 1940s

dh's "christening gown" - yellowing vomit-adorned polyester thing resembling a carrier bag

older kids' clothes all made of weird furry polyester - brown-flecked flared dungarees etc

tons of old earwiggy books about "disciplining the strong-willed child" and "teaching your baby to read"

various incomplete vintage jigsaws/reading schemes/broken filthy toys

I woldn't have dreamed of being rude about it though, she would have been heart-broken. I used the Silver Cross a few times when she was around, put ds1 in the least repulsive of the crispy old sailor-suits for photos ... and the christening gown never came up because we're atheists

out, not our.

Wont you be getting a grant (think that's what it is) to pay for baby things, i think you get more if you are low income?

Try and get yourself to a car boot sale (or send dh), there are so many people selling baby things really cheep. 6 months ago i bought a buggy from our local tip for a pound and its still going strong (i also have a nice 3 wheeler which i got off e-bay.

Having a baby doesn't have to cost the earth, dress it in baby grows and vests for the first 6 months, you can pick these up in charity shops for next to nothing.

Perhaps if you wait a little longer your friends may come up with the things they said they would lend you? It is the school holidays after all, and I'm pretty sure that searching around the loft for baby stuff is not top of their list! Also, you can't expect people just to hand over boxes of baby stuff straight away - if they are anything like me, I check through it all first to make sure there's nothing in there that I don't want to give away. I wouldn't bother with a moses basket - just go straight for a cot.

....if you walk down your high street, they have these strange things called shops....

you give them money, they give you the item...problem solved?

OR

stuff the packers (do it yourself) and use your money more wisely to buy the baby things. you CAN pack yourself but can't seem to 'amass' baby things to your standard - so go buy some!