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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby hand-me-downs gripe

113 replies

Poppet45 · 15/04/2009 16:44

Bah humbug...
Sorry to sound like a real ungrateful mare but this is our first little one, money is going to be very tight and as we're moving halfway across the country when I'm around 7-8 months pregnant we're starting to amass our little hoard of baby things now.
We have loads of family and friends who have had little ones in the last five years, and they keep saying 'ooh yes we'll sort you lots of things out'.
What have we ended up with? Eight soft toys FFS... one of which is very likely to even be the wrong colour if my little one is a boy as all the sonographers suspect, and the generous benefactor has also been told that. Oh and then we tried to get a freecycle pushchair from this woman who stipulated 'no time wasters' then she expertly arranged for us to come round as she was feeding her baby was incredibly rude, wouldn't show us how it even folded down and palmed off a filthy buggy, covered in I suspect vomit, and also missing a wheel, which she insisted had been pulled off it overnight. Honestly, it feels like we're being used as garbage collectors.
Am starting from scratch with an NCT nearly new sale and eBay. Can you lovely ladies between you suggest the bare minimum a babe needs in terms of furniture and equipment and clothes and I'll use it to tick it off as I go. PS I'm expecting a lovely little summer baby.
Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BabyBaby123 · 17/04/2009 20:43

god, you sound awful. Have read this thread in shock. Was sure it was wind up but it appears not. Your attitude is disgusting. Your baby, your responsibility, sorry.

Supercherry · 17/04/2009 20:48

OMG leave her alone! The op is pregnant, she has lost her mother, she is broke, she probably isn't feeling all that grateful for what life has thrown at her at the moment

If you can't say anything nice then why post just to be bitchy?

Poppet, please just ignore the negative comments you need to stay calm in pregnancy don't forget.

Good luck with your baby

SebandElliottsmum · 17/04/2009 21:07

good luck poppet, i can see where you were coming from.

i got sent a bag of clothes that hadnt been washed, they had crusty food and stains all over them..uurgh!!!

Nekabu · 17/04/2009 22:10

I just don't understand why someone would do that. If you were in a real hurry for the items and the person giving them to you said that they were still in the laundry basket and they hadn't had time to do them yet could you wait until they'd been washed and you said you'd just as soon have them now and wash them yourself if that was OK, then it's not quite so bad. But why give someone a bag of dirty clothes? And not just the odd grubby mark where they'd been badly stored in the loft but actual food encrusted on them? Who stores dirty clothes in the first place? Weird ...

Tidey · 17/04/2009 22:22

Poppet, I really hope you're still coming back and reading this. Your last post was brilliant, and contained so many things that I'm sure every poster on MN has thought before but managed not to post.

Going back to your OP, I too would be pissed off at someone offering something on freecycle that should be in a bin, especially if they came off as rude as the woman in question. Sadly such sites are abused occasionally. The soft toy thing, well, if there's only one that you think unsuitable, give it to a charity shop.

I recently gave a relative a crib that my two DC had slept in but was in perfect condition that she then binned because she couldn't bear her child to be in anything second hand. Each to their own of course, but I would've kept it for someone else if I had known she was going to do that.

saggyhairyarse · 17/04/2009 22:28

Where are you moving from/to?

RenderMeSpeechless · 17/04/2009 22:29

Hear hear Tidey

ravenAK · 17/04/2009 22:44

Top rant, that woman

Honestly, I'd just nip into charity shops when you're passing - lots of them are heaving with barely-worn clothes for newborns & older babies. Second hand babygros etc also v cuddly from all that washing...

Supplement with multipack babygros & vests from supermarket - 3 pack of each should do you, given the baby can sleep in a vest & socks or wear a babygro by day if you run out of washing.

Beyond that, you need a cot (don't bother with a Moses basket unless you're given one) - eBay probably best bet, but definitely ask on Freecycle. You will probably need a pushchair.

Cloth nappies (esp. if second hand) will save you a fortune.

You don't need special towels/sheets/blankets - yours will be fine.

hazeyjane · 17/04/2009 23:00

I think maybe you need to think about a namechange, 'poppet45' sounds cute and cuddly, and frankly I'm quaking in my boots after that tirade!

(Oh and we got tons of stuff from car boot sales - which seems to be the cheapest place, including a buggy for £2. A washing up bowl will do instead of a bath. You can cut down and hem an adult size sheet for the cot, and get a couple of cheap sleeping bags on e-bay. You probably won't need hats for the summer,socks work better than scratch mitts, join all the baby clubs/loyalty card schemes you get lots of money off and freebies. If you want to be really creative maybe you could make all the unwanted soft toys into a mobile/baby gym. Is it possible to move without the packers and removals - we moved on our own when I was 36 weeks pregnant, after finding out how much it cost to hire them)

Qally · 18/04/2009 06:04

Oh ffs, sometimes women on MN should be ashamed. So much emphasis on kindness and inclusivity when someone's little cherub doesn't want to invite the class smelly weirdo kid to the birthday party, and tuts about how we must teach children to be kind and not isolate anyone, and then mob attacks on someone who doesn't phrase things in a manner deemed utter perfection. It's really rather pathetic, or would be if it weren't an actual human being on the other end of the screen in question.

Poppet, I had a filthy pregnancy that involved severe SPD, so the notion of moving without professional help at 7 months sounds insanity to me, not an avoided indulgence. As DS is now almost 5 months I have loads of wearable things going spare, and I am completely happy to post you some as they're just taking up space. Mail me on q alex b lee at yaho odotc odotu k and it'd be my pleasure, seriously. They'll be worn - but also clean and wearable. (Having been used as free dump-avoidance by some Freecyclers myself in the past, I know what you're talking about. Ebay can be absolutely fab, but at other times not a whole heap better, unfortunately.)

SmilingEi · 18/04/2009 08:54

wow!!

to the OP

IMO you do sound a little bit 'spoilt princess' like yourself!! that is purely from the tenor of your posts. there are plenty of ladies who have offered to send you items and after spending all the time moaning that noone will give you everything you need for your baby you turned your nose up at the offers also there are a few inconsistencies in your posts. why hire a car to pick up a free buggy?? why not spend the car hire cost on items for your baby as im sure you would have been able to tick a few items off your list with that money. also you stated you picked the pram up in the rented car...but then later said it was so rusty you couldnt fold it down??? how did you get it in the car then?? if it was a cheaply rented car, from my experience there wouldnt be room enough for a standing buggy.
now i feel awful for you having lost your mum and your posts do show you are missing her terribly, and the hormones of pregnancy can just make these feelings smart more but there is no reason to assume that those lucky enough to still have parents living automatically get everything they need from them. i certainly dont. my husband and i both work very hard, our DD has everything she needs (food, warmth, love, a roof over her head) and some things she doesnt need (toys, games etc) but wants iyswim we have provided all of this ourselves with some gifts thrown in from various members of the family. but all the essentials were provided by us.
if i were you i would accept the 'charity of strangers' as you put it which is actually very generous of them to offer to you, as this is similar to accepting an item from freecycle as i assume you didnt know the woman who palmed her broken sick riddled pram off onto you...is that not the charity of strangers then??
i do see why you would feel disappointed by whatever your friends had given me (i was given a 'gift' of age 3-4 boys clothes by my husbands old nan (shes 85) for my newborn DD as she saw them in a charity shop and liked the look of them i accepted them and said thanks and made her a cuppa and they are now in the loft awaiting our time for a boy if we ever get there like) and i would suggest if you dont like them why not say you have packed them away for the move and give them to a charity shop/local childrens hospital. your friends will never know otherwise and you wont have to transport unnecessary items across country. problem solved
i hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy and you manage to get everything you need
xx ei xx

SmilingEi · 18/04/2009 08:57

dnt know where that rogue me came from i meant YOU obviously lol
xx ei xx

Qally · 18/04/2009 11:49

Oh, and Poppet - I had a complete stranger I bought something from on Ebay send me a massive bag of her babythings, just because we had a nice email exchange. It's not charity, it's a Freecycle - and in fact after this thread, it's more like an apology.

Ei, people do sometimes manage to combine hire car use for a significant reason with other errands. We have no car ourselves, so I know whereof I speak, mmm'kay?

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