Baby hand-me-downs gripe

[Poppet45]

Bah humbug...
Sorry to sound like a real ungrateful mare but this is our first little one, money is going to be very tight and as we're moving halfway across the country when I'm around 7-8 months pregnant we're starting to amass our little hoard of baby things now.
We have loads of family and friends who have had little ones in the last five years, and they keep saying 'ooh yes we'll sort you lots of things out'.
What have we ended up with? Eight soft toys FFS... one of which is very likely to even be the wrong colour if my little one is a boy as all the sonographers suspect, and the generous benefactor has also been told that. Oh and then we tried to get a freecycle pushchair from this woman who stipulated 'no time wasters' then she expertly arranged for us to come round as she was feeding her baby was incredibly rude, wouldn't show us how it even folded down and palmed off a filthy buggy, covered in I suspect vomit, and also missing a wheel, which she insisted had been pulled off it overnight. Honestly, it feels like we're being used as garbage collectors.
Am starting from scratch with an NCT nearly new sale and eBay. Can you lovely ladies between you suggest the bare minimum a babe needs in terms of furniture and equipment and clothes and I'll use it to tick it off as I go. PS I'm expecting a lovely little summer baby.
Thanks.

Wow, you really sound like you've got a chip on your shoulder.

Just say no to any stuff you don't want, it's not hard.

Blimey i'm afraid you do sound ungrateful.

If you're both working your 'asses' off - then i'm sure you can go to asda and buy some packs of vests/babygros - they're very cheap.

We didn't rely on parents to kit us out as we were adults having a baby.

Also i think its cheeky to ask friends/family for baby kit - maybe they were saving it for another child. I know i've given loads of stuff to my sister but kept it for her rather than friends.

People tend to offer if they want to lend you stuff.

Seriously just start looking around the charity shops and asdas/tescos etc for basics.

I have thanked everyone - even the harriden with the pushchair. Just like I also said thanks at the start of the message so there's one there for you too.

And actually people seem to rely on their mums for a hell of a lot when pregnant and after giving birth... and if anything they seem pretty ungrateful about that help, which I'd chew my right arm off for.

DH's mum will be busy nursing her hubby with a terminal neurodegenerative illness so we're all on our own.

I can see that the Poppet would be disappointed if she was expecting useful baby stuff but instead got cuddly toys - I mean they are pretty useless. We have ridiculous numbers of cuddly toys that my DDs have never even looked at.
Poppet, if you have a very sicky baby you will need more than five of everything and also bibs. A sling is all very well, but I think you need a buggy for shopping etc, especially if you don't have a car. I would recommend trying to get a second hand Maclaren, because they recline all the way back. Also, I think that you need a Moses basket for naps during the day (although you could use the buggy) There is very strict guidance about the conditions under which you should and shouldn't co-sleep (eg you and partner not drinking or smoking etc). This is not realistic for lots of people (including me!) You will need sheets for the Moses basket and I think three blankets. Oh yes, one or two towels too. If you breastfeed you won't need any bottles or sterilising stuff yet. Good luck.

I think some of you are being a bit harsh, some people are actually skint, some of us don't get any help from friends or family and i would be a bit pissed off if my friends said they would give me hand downs and then not bother.

I get a bit fed up with my mother as when i got pg with dd1 she said the child would not want for anything, she said she would baby sit and spoil the child, she doesn't ever buy the dd's anything other than a pack of chocolate buttons one a month.

I managed to buy most of the dd's baby things at boot sales, you can get some great items for little money.

I've said I'll be using an NCT sale, and eBay and shops from now on. I was asking if anyone could help me compile a shopping list as I don't really have anyone to ask in terms of what I should get.

I guess I'll give up on that one.

Thanks for those that offered advice by the way.

Poppet, you're making huge assumptions about other people relying on parents there!

buggy and/or sling
somewhere for it to sleep
a decent handful of vests, sleepsuits, muslins
nappies of your choice
bottles and formula if you plan to ff - you can sterilise by boiling in water for 5 minutes, i believe
car seat - if you don't have a car maybe a trusted friend/relative can lend you one for the journey home (if you have a homebirth this won't apply, i guess)

Seriously, if this is not a wind up then you are indeed very ungrateful and seem to think that the world owes you something
Let me tell you about when I was pregnant with dd. I was 20, at university 300 miles away from my parents (who wouldn't have helped anyway) and coped on my own. I didn't expect anyone to help and nor should I have. I managed to get everything I needed using the piss poor ammount of money I got for my student loan. Go to charity shops, look on ebay. I got everything dd needed for well under £100 I should think. I didn't care that it was all second hand, and dd certainly didn't. I think you may have posted in all innocence but your post has made me

8 baby grows
8 vests
2 hats
Scratch mits
Snow suit/coat
5+ bibs

blankets
Sheets for mosses basket (if using one)
Mosses basket
Buggy
Bouncy chair
Baby gym/play arch (if you can get a cheep one)

Bottles/teats (if bottle feeding)
Sterilizer (if bottle feeding)

Car seat (even if you don't drive you may need to use one if your baby is ill and needs to get to a doctor for example)

Changing bag (you can get a free bag in boots when you join the baby club)

Nappies

Baby bath

Baby lotion, body wash etc.

Poppet, I think it might be the tone of your messages that has got everyones back up - you're being generally quite harsh in tone.

I'm mystified as to why everyone is being so nasty when the OP asked for a list. Isn't part of the point of a forum like this that you can express your frustrations or disappointments?
Anyway, Poppet, if you were thinking of getting a baby bath I would get one of these instead:

www.johnlewis.com/230475122/Product.aspx

I know it might seems expensive but it makes bathtime about 100 times easier. Hopefully you might be able to pick one up on ebay or elsewhere second hand.

oh fgs..... we were as desperately broke as it's possible to be and still have a roof over your head (and even that was in danger of being lost) when dd and ds1 were born and we scraped the money together to buy the essentials.

you mean you really couldn't put £20 a week into a kitty to buy baby gear? because if you're so broke that a couple of quid is going to break you you reallly shouldn't be having this child, they do cost money you know?

Regarding the pushchair you can get new wheels from John Lewis for less than £20 and a good clean with borax and hot water and a fleece liner would help if you are that hard up.

I would suggest ditching the fancy movers and buying things for you baby yourself.

Yes a few toys aren't going to get you that far, but I am sure the people who were going to give you things FOR FREE didn't just get handouts.

Charity shops are terrific for good clean, basic clothes. As are supermarkets. Babies don't need a lot and don't forget they grow out of it quickly so cheap charity shop is no doubt your best bet and cheaper than the NCT sales no doubt.

yu dont need anothing for bathtimes, except a flannel and towel.

no fancy seats, no baby baths, no lotions and potions.

poppet CAT me, and i'll send you some gender neutral stuff out. i have heaps of stuff here, some are going to the nearly new sale, but things like vest and baby grows they wont let nus sell there unless 'a good label', and seeing i'm limited to 50items, i am going to have loads left. i also have some baby blankets and sheets available. all i ask is you pay the postage.

Go to Asda and get some plain white babygros and vests there about £3 a packet.

Ditto muslins

ebay for a pram and a moses basket
new car seat
I have never used a baby bath used one of those plastic insert things in big bath £8
blankets and sheets pick up on ebay or car boots

Remember people will give you presents, ask for vouchers if you can

Blimey, some of the responses have been foul.

i think if people offered baby things, you would be a tiny bit miffed that you were given a load of toys.

i would have expected maybe vests, bibs, muslins, a baby bath etc...

things that had a practical use

however the OPs tone is a tiny bit arsey

re the woman feeding her baby when you collected the item.. this will be you in a few months! when a baby needs feeding, they need feeding

instore, asda & tesco all sell baby basics at very cheap prices. Lidl and Aldi do good value, cheap and excellent quality baby wipes, disposable nappies and toiletries

you need some babygros, vests, nappies, somewhere for baby to sleep, a car seat

you can wash your baby in the sink or top and tail for the first few weeks. babies don't roll around in mud, so theyu don;t get filthy

toiletries are not always necessary and if yo do want them, asda and boots often have really good promos and their own ranges are really good

If you want I think I have some basic unisex vests and baby grows that you are welcome to have. I also think I may have some boys bits as someone gave us her boys baby clothes. DD didn't mind she didn't know any different lol.

I think also that I may have some terry squares laying about not being used if you want them, I will have to have a look though.

The same as misdee all I ask is postage.

CAT me and let me know if you want them.

I forgot to add that remember when your baby is born you will get £20 a week child benefit and then tax credits and those are dependent on your income, so the less you earn the more you get. You also get an extra £10 a week for the first year of a babies life.

Go to entitledto.co.uk and use your income and it will tell you what you will receive. claim as soon as you have a birth certificate.

And chase up on the maternity grant thing too.

Honestly Asda and Tesco basics are great.

Also use Tesco/Asda/Aldi own brand nappies and wipes.

Oh hello Insertwitty was thinking of you today, how's the P&T going?

So even if you earn up to £57K a year I think it is now (don't quote me) you will get £18 a week child benefit and £20 Child tax credit

its £20 for child benefit now

why are people so harsh?

I'd be disappointed too about the buggy (sounds like she couldn't bother taking it to the tip herself)
and envious of those with their parents around to support and help out with things and can empathise with poppet.

empathy
try it out sometimes guys, costs nothing