Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Did you regret finding out the gender from your scan?

130 replies

Ceolas · 30/03/2009 12:55

I am expecting DC5 and have never known the gender before birth. I've been offered a 20 wk scan this time though and I'm really tempted. My excuse is it has implications for bedrooms and whether we'll need to move house (although not urgently I admit).

I'll be going alone and I know DH doesn't want to know. We've both said in the past it's like opening your presents before Christmas!

Did you find out and regret it or am I being daft?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
sarah293 · 31/03/2009 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JimmyMcNulty · 31/03/2009 10:35

We didn't find out for ds and I did have a surge of joy to be told 'It's a boy!' at the birth as that is what we had secretly hoped for a bit. Don't know how different I'd have felt if we'd had a girl - we didn't feel THAT strongly about it.

I am due with no.2 now and have found out it's a boy. Dh and I didn't have strong feelings about the gender this time either except a slight hankering for ds to have a brother (dh and I have 4 sisters between, who between them have 5 girls and no boys, so we liked the idea ds might not be too outnumbered!). I don't think you need an overwhelming reason to find out - curiosity was it for us, and I don't feel the need to justify it, or think that we have somehow lost anything. It's quite nice to talk to ds about his baby brother. (He had also started saying he was having a sister as that's what he thinks everyone has, so we've nipped that in the bud!)

hmmSleep · 31/03/2009 10:40

I didn't want to find out with either of mine, but then I really didn't have a preference. However they let it slip with my ds at his 20 wk scan, they tried to cover it up but I could tell they'd done it, was a bit disappointed, not about it being a boy but about knowing. Personally I loved being handed my little bundle with the words, 'it's a girl' and 'it's a boy'

SamJamsmum · 31/03/2009 10:43

I wanted to know as I wanted older sibling to visualise a little sister on the way/ know a name/ be able to talk about 'she'.

If you can't actually do anything practical or tell anyone as DH doesn't want to know then I'm not sure there's a lot of point. But obviously it's completely your call. I didn't find out for the first pregnancy and didn't feel the need.

brettgirl2 · 31/03/2009 10:43

I don't regret it at all - it has helped me to bond with the baby's personality.

It would be a bit confusing if it turned out to be a boy after all though, but I won't really mind

MerryMarigold · 31/03/2009 10:45

My friend didn't find out. She was desperate for a girl, and was so convinced the baby was a girl she didn't have boys names. Well, you guessed it - was a boy! I think she regrets not finding out.

I found out on my second, because I had a surprise on the first, but I wanted this experience to be totally different, as it can never be the same as your first time round IYSWIM, so tried to make it as different as possible. Anyway, was twins, so it was pretty different!

If you're not really bothered about the sex and already have 4 DC's though, I would leave it as why would you want this one to be the 'odd one out'?

MumOfAPickle · 31/03/2009 11:04

We found out with DS. Toyed briefly with not finding out but we were kidding ourselves!! I am really quite impatient and also quite nosey - could not have dealt with not knowing AT ALL!!

My feeling is that a)Pregnancy lasts a loooong time (never knew 9 months could be so long) with not a lot of information or much of anything happening except getting bigger and more uncomfortable so any bit of news was very welcome and made me feel closer than ever to my bump. And b)there is so much going on when you give birth, I really didn't feel like I needed the extra 'surprise' of the baby's gender. I think the news is somehow bigger when you find out early as its almost the only thing you DO know about them... Finally c)It was a surprise at 20 weeks instead of at 40 weeks, that's all!
Who knew my reasons were 3-fold

Goes without saying that each to their own though...

ruty · 31/03/2009 11:05

i fond out both times and it was a wonderful moment of early reward through gruelling pregnancies.

Wizzska · 31/03/2009 11:09

I found out the sex at my 20 wk scan. I couldn't wait to find out. I always knew deep down I was having a boy and the scan confirmed it.

tkband3 · 31/03/2009 11:35

A friend really didn't want to know, but her husband did. So she left the room so the sonographer could tell him and then he kept it a secret for the whole of the rest of the pregnancy. She had her suspicions, but she wanted the surprise.

Like frumpy, I didn't find out for DD1 but did for my DTs, as I was having enough difficulty dealing with the fact there were two babies inside me . We then named the babies and DD1 used to kiss my bump and say night night to the babies. She was only 20 months when they were born and I'm sure that she found it easier to get used to the babies' arrival because she had known for ages she was having 2 new sisters.

Having said that, if I'd been expecting one baby instead of two, I think I might have waited for the surprise .

naughtymummy · 31/03/2009 11:36

We didn't find out with either. I did have a slight preference each time (won't reveal anymore). I think the idea of having time to get used to the sex(over your disappointment) it is just bizarre tbh and i do think it spoils the surprise particularly first time round. I loved being 38 weeks and looking at both sides of mothercare.I can much more understand the practical side of it and I think if we had number 3 I would find out for that reason (so I know which friends to pester for hand me downs)

dietcokebreak · 31/03/2009 11:43

I found out with my ds and loved it but wanted a surprise with my second and the birth was a little more special as it was a surprise...although a boy not a bit disappointed and family loved going out on the day buying cards and presents that they may have already picked up.
It was lovely my partner telling me what we had rather than at a scan!!!

pagwatch · 31/03/2009 11:50

I don't regret it. I really wanted a third boy but finding out I was having DD just made me realise that I was just kind of sticking with what I knew after two boys.

I was however a bit that we had decided NOT to ask but had 10 year old DS1 with us and when he asked ( out of the blue) the Doctor told him !

Astrophe · 31/03/2009 12:01

I didn't find out with 1 and 2, but now I am 24 weeks and I did find out with this one. DH doesn't know (he doesn't want to!).

I don't regret finding out. It was a really nice surprise with DC 1 and 2, but its also great to know. Its still very exciting, because I look forward to DH's and the rest of thr family's surprise. Its a bit like knowing you have bought something wonderful for someone as a Christmas present, and are really looking forward to giving it to them.

mowbraygirl · 31/03/2009 12:16

This makes me feel really ancient but when I had my two you only had a scan if they thought there was a serious problem. My first was DD and I was so pleased as MIL and SIL kept going on all the time that I was pregnant that it was sure to be a boy as their first born were boys. With DS wasn't bothered what sex it was as long as it was healthy. Saw a programme on the tv last week a woman was having twins was told it was two boys and first baby out was a girl followed by a boy.

Highlander · 31/03/2009 12:16

Knew bith DSs from amnios. Hate surprises

lssb · 31/03/2009 12:25

I found out with DS1 and DS2 but which I hadn't found out with DS2 as there was no surprise and slight anti-climax. Decided not find out with third baby due in Oct as am desperate for DD but would like the surprise at the birth.

Sweetie34 · 31/03/2009 12:36

I think I am definitly in the minority! With DC no.1 I was convinced it was a boy (family history) and was very surprised and pleased when SHE came out!! I have always wanted a little girl!!

Now 27wks in with DC no.2 - have no wish to find out until the day! And let me assure you - in everyday life I have NO patience usually.

I have found people now PRESUME you will know the sex - which I find strange!!!

I have purchased alot of cream stuff!

anniemac · 31/03/2009 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

anniemac · 31/03/2009 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Leannabanana · 31/03/2009 12:44

i found out for DD at twenty weeks and was not at all disappointed, five yrs later i found out at twenty weeks that bump was a boy....did i regret it? i think i might have a bit to be honest....i wish i had the patience to wait until the birth to find out but i really really am impatient and by half way through the pregnancy (which is about, forever anyway.....)i thought i deserved a bit of a suprise to cheer me up!!! i will be finding out with this bump...make the whole name choosing process less of a trauma....x

Original poster
Ceolas · 31/03/2009 12:46

Yes, we're kind of running out of names we agree on after 4!

OP posts:
anniemac · 31/03/2009 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Leannabanana · 31/03/2009 12:54

another argument for me finding out would be that i really don't want to buy neutral clothes.....lemon or cream just don't really appeal to me....also for example in M&S there was some adorable knitted all-in-ones in the sale down from £24 to £7!!! Could i buy one??? NO cos they were either boys or girls....its nice to shop for a sex i think?

fiestabelle · 31/03/2009 12:56

With DS I had a strong preference/feeling that he was a boy, always pictured myself with a little boy, and when I though ahead imagining coming home from hospital always imagined the scene with a baby boy. I think tbh I would have struggled a bit with a girl, I'm sure I would have loved her just the same but it wouldnt have been what I was expecting iyswim??

Just found out I am pg with DC2, not sure what to do re finding out the sex this time, strangly I feel as if this one is a girl and feel quite relaxed about it, also love the idea of having two boys so dont feel as strongly about it as I did with No1.

If we do find out, I think it will be just dh and I who know until the birth.

For me, when friends/family are pg I much prefer the phone call to announce the baby's arrival to be along the lines of boy or girl, weight, name etc etc, rather than baby's been born and already knowing the sex,name etc.

It is a very personal thing tho an I truly think each to their own.