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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you regret finding out the gender from your scan?

130 replies

Ceolas · 30/03/2009 12:55

I am expecting DC5 and have never known the gender before birth. I've been offered a 20 wk scan this time though and I'm really tempted. My excuse is it has implications for bedrooms and whether we'll need to move house (although not urgently I admit).

I'll be going alone and I know DH doesn't want to know. We've both said in the past it's like opening your presents before Christmas!

Did you find out and regret it or am I being daft?!

OP posts:

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Nabster · 30/03/2009 16:25

Er, yes......

deckchair · 30/03/2009 16:25

I didnt find out either time but if there is a next time (fingers crossed) I think I may find out for practical reasons. Ie, which baby clothes do I get out, sort out and wash? Which of the clothes for dd or ds can I pass on / sell.
I certainly would not tell anyone else.
Although that said, it is so nice not knowing and being able to consider both sets of names etc.

SoupDreggon · 30/03/2009 16:29

Precisely, Gateau, so why on earth should I have told them?? If you are so disinterested, why would you find it bizarre not to be told?

Judging by the number of people who kept asking if I knew what I was having and asking me what sex it was, an awful lot of people were interested.

lockets · 30/03/2009 16:34

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Bumpsadaisie · 30/03/2009 16:40

Each to their own, but we were desperate to find out and did so as soon as we could. Our little girl already has her name (which we use when talking about/to her) and we already feel like a family of three rather than two.

To me, it seems bizarre not to give a name to an increasingly expanding little person inside you who is doing washing machine motions all night and making her presence very much felt! I couldn't imagine referring to her as "it" or "the baby".

We get late scans in our area (28 weeks and 36 weeks) and so we could really see her playing around, blowing bubbles, putting her toes in her mouth. Definitely a person requiring a name!

I never understood the "surprise" thing - it's going to be mindblowing when we actually see her for the first time. I am welling up just thinking about it already!

Each to their own though, as I say!

FairLadyRantALot · 30/03/2009 16:40

hmm...I have found out wiht all 3 of mine and never regretted it....
tbh, I think especially with son #1 it was good that I had time to get "over my disappointment"....so, by the time he was born I had gotten used to teh idea of having a boy and coldn't wait to see him....
oddly enough someone I knew was due around the same time as me, also first child and they wanted a surprise, she admitted afterwards that the disappointment about the sex of the Baby spoiled her first few days with her new Baby....which I thought was sad....but the precice reason I wanted to know in advance...

Bettymum · 30/03/2009 16:48

I found out the gender after an amnio, having always thought that I wouldn't want to know. But it was lovely thinking about my little baby girl in there, I painted her room before she arrived and bought a couple of little clothes. It didn't spoil anything at all about the birth, it is enough of a surprise to see the person who's been in there for the last nine months. We didn't choose a name before she was born, she was just "baby" for about a week before we decided on one.
FWIW, my sister has three DDs, with the first two her husband and MIL knew the sex but she didn't which I thought was a bit but she was OK with it. The third one she found out by accident when the person doing the scan let it slip, but she ended up being glad as she could talk to the older girls about their new sister and it also put a stop to the stupid question from well meaning friends and relatives to the children of "what do you want, a brother or a sister?" like they had any choice in the matter!

preggersplayspop · 30/03/2009 16:50

I loved finding out, I felt like I bonded more closely as I knew it was a little boy rather than just a baby of some sort. I seem to remember thinking it was going to be a girl (but not a preference as such) so I felt a bit weird for a few days but once I got used to the idea of it being a boy it was lovely imagining what he would look like etc and giving him a name rather than just baby/blob or whatever.

I felt that giving birth would be so overwhelming anyway that the joy of finding out what sex it would be would be sort of lost in the whole experience. This way I got to really enjoy finding out as a separate thing.

notcitrus · 30/03/2009 16:51

We weren't going to find out, but then were having problem picking a boy's name, so thought if it was a girl that would save us the arguing. (he wasn't, but it focused the arguing). And I knew I'd be able to tell at the scan anyway (spent years looking at such pics) and it wouldn't be fair for MrNC to not know.

In the event I went to Woolies and looked at baby clothes and cried a bit for the girl I wasn't having - and I'd have done exactly the same if it was a girl! 30 min later I was fine.

So very glad I didn't have to do with any odd feelings about sex after birth, as I had quite enough weird emotions to deal with then as it was.

But then our family Christmas involves making lists to circulate round the family, then getting drunk enough that it's a surprise anyway when you unwrap them... (or exhausted instead this year, as we all had babies!)

juuule · 30/03/2009 16:52

I found out with the last 2 of mine. It didn't spoil anything at all for me. In fact, it made it even more special for me and others have said it was still so nice to meet the new baby at the birth. Dh didn't want to know so it was still a surprise for him at the birth.

Bettymum · 30/03/2009 16:53

x-posts with Bumpsadaisie and FairLady.
Bumpsadaisie I am feeling all squishy just thinking about you seeing your DD for the first time. When Bettybaby was handed to me for the first time I thought she was the most beautiful and amazing little thing I'd ever seen.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/03/2009 16:58

No regrets here, we wanted another girl but we had a boy and it gave us time to get used to ot plus choose a boys name which we found really difficult.

Bumpsadaisie · 30/03/2009 16:59

I know Bettymum - if I really think about it I can work myself up into a real hormonal sob when I think about giving that last push to get her out and holding her close for the first time! Glad that you can still do that too long afterwards!

That said I'm a first timer and it may turn out I'm too knackered to care as much as I think I will!

About finding out the sex - the other thing is people think it will be a disappointment if they wanted the other sex to what they are told at the scan. In our case, if we could have "chosen" at the moment of conception, we would have chosen a boy I think. However the real baby inside you quickly becomes much more important than the fantasy baby you had in your head - so while we did have about 30 mins of thinking about the little boy we weren't having, pretty quickly after that we started falling hook line and sinker for our real-life and very much present DD. I wouldn't swap her for a boy now even if you paid me!

cilitbang · 30/03/2009 17:15

Found out with both my LO's. Didn't even think about it possibly being something I'd regret because we didn't even consider any other option. We were only finding out the sex, not seeing its features, personality, hair colour, eye colour etc etc

FairLadyRantALot · 30/03/2009 17:21

Bump, that is how I felt with es, especially...it wasn't that I didn't want a boy, it was more that I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a boy, iykwim....with ms and ys, I didn't really care either way, but just wanted to know....lol

keels26 · 30/03/2009 17:43

Its more exciting to wait I suppose but Im too impatient! Found out I was having a boy first time round so when I was pregnant for the second time (which I knew was going to be my last) I was desperate for a girl. They couldnt tell me definitely, said 89% chance it was a girl. (baby had a wee while I was being scanned and the direction it went made me think girl!). DD is 16 months now and I have never regretted finding out the sex of my babies. You can stop calling the baby it and think of names.
Have you decided what to do yet?

iSOLOvechocolate · 30/03/2009 17:45

I found out with both of mine and had/have no regrets at all.

tigerbump · 30/03/2009 18:04

i plan on finding out never even thought otherwise. It's not because I have a preference, want to choose a name, buy clothes, choose furniture etc I just want to know, as does DH. As someone else said i am inpatient by nature so probably why i want to know.

All my friends and sister said they did not want to know the sex - main reason was they felt that going through the stress of labour/birth they wanted a surprise at the end of it.

sarah293 · 30/03/2009 18:04

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Original poster

Ceolas · 31/03/2009 08:56

Well scan is this afternoon. Think I might...

But I'm not telling you what it is

OP posts:

iSOLOvechocolate · 31/03/2009 09:01

That's not fair!!!!!!!

Have a good one though! it's sooooo exciting!

Laugs · 31/03/2009 09:21

How will you keep it from DH though, when you start knitting pink cardis and rearranging space for a cot in the DDs' room? I think if he really doesn't want to find out and you're not that sure either way, maybe you should just wait.

I really didn't want to find out with the first baby and am glad I didn't. Now I am pregnant with no.2 I am considering it, just so I can prepare DD that she is going to have a baby brother/ sister. I don't want her to have a preference and then be really disappointed when the 'wrong' one comes out. I'm not sure what we'll do though, I think DH would rather wait and see.

expatinscotland · 31/03/2009 09:24

NO!

We didn't find out with the first two (you have to pay for a 20-week scan) and were so glad we found out with DS.

JeanPoole · 31/03/2009 09:27

i'm glad we did.
gave us both a chance to get used to the idea.

Phoenix · 31/03/2009 09:40

I didn't find out with ds and never wanted to but this time round we wanted to know (for bedroom setting, clothes and just been prepared) but typically the sonographer couldn't be sure. He said 85% boy (in an awkward position couldn't get a clear view). I've really got it into my head that it is a boy now and have bought a few boys clothes but then i realised i think i'll be quite disappointed if it actually turns out to be a girl iykwim so i'm having a 4d scan in just over 2wks time.

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