Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Hey Lola - I (we) are fine. Maya is a delight and teaches me so much every day (in particular I am learning a little bit of patience ). I am in constant awe of the way that you have processed (sorry, that sounds a bit cold, but I can't think of the right word) all that you have been through, and the beautiful way that you cherish Thomas's life and memory. You're a total inspiration on this thread, and I hope you will be able to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy with as little anxiety as is humanly possible.

xx to all.

Yay crunch so pleased for you - what a lovely birth too!! And welcome to Polly....you deserve some sort of prize for a speedy announcement too - was it eight hours after? You earth mother you!!!

Hi Jools and Jasmaxxy - nice to see you both popping in, fingers crossed and sticky vibes to you both. Best of luck with the recurrent MC appointment Jools.

Thanks for lovely comments re grief, Lola and Scarlotti - you lot are amazing

I've been feeling lots of lovely wriggling for a week or so now so am beginning to accept this baby is really here! !

Hello again

Crunch Still grinning for you!

SydneySuze Tis me! I know exactly what you mean about grief over the 20 week scan. It comes at the strangest times, eh? We've just taken a big delivery of second hand boys' clothes (still not brave enough to buy anything at 25 weeks!) and I was sorting through it quite merrily until I came to a little blue pair of first-sized socks. I think poor DH thought I was having a heart attack, either that or impersonating a cat with a hairball problem! I find it best to really feel it when it pops up, have my blub/sulk/plate-smash, and then I tend to feel a little better.

joolsiam Good to hear from you, hope all goes well at clinic.

CRUNCH hooray for you and Polly. What a fabulous birth and fabulous name.

Just nipped in to see if you had had her and there you were. Am so pleased for you and that you got the birth you wanted too. Well done you.

Rufus and I have been back in hospital due to some rather dramatic weight loss due to feeding issues. Back home now and hopefully things will be settling down now so will do a proper catch up with everyones news in the next day or so, but I'll say it again, congratulations crunch!!! {grin} Its put a massive smile on my face after a grim couple of days here.

ladyh - sympathy for you over the weight issue. Maya has only just got back to her birth weight after five weeks, and we had to go in with her on day six because she'd lost 'too much' weight. It was horrible - she was feeding OK, so probably not comparable to your situation, but I do know that it can make you feel like you're letting your baby down - it's not a nice feeling. I hope all OK for you both now.

Thank you so much everyone You've made me all weepy! I am so touched. Jools and Jasmaxxy I can't wait to see your birth stories here in the future, thank you both so much for thinking of me (oh no more tears! I blame the hormones)

What with everything in RL this thread has been such an overwhelming support to me throughout, well, everything. I don't know how many times I came on here to complain or laugh or cry along with all you ladies - and I have no intention of disappearing just yet. DS1 is currently cuddling his little sister on the sofa so I even have my hands free for a moment.

Is it a terrible thing that all day Friday I kept thinking "I must get onto mumsnet and tell everyone!" Oh dear (it's a sign of addiction I reckon).

Lola great to see you back, ignore the stupid comments, you'll be a bumpy-whale before you know it (in the nicest possible way ! I used the Baby Whisperer with DS2 and found it worked really well. Pretty sensible advice on the whole.

herb I hope you get a scan soon, stupid US dept!

I will catch up properly soon - sorry for the self-indulgent post. I will reply to all your posts if it takes me forever... but maybe not today

LadyH I had the same with DS! hope it all settles soon. I still love the name Rufus.

Morning ladies and babies

ladyH I had a similar thing with ds although we weren't hospitalised. He wasn't feeding properly and I spent a v miserable 4-5 weeks desperately trying to get bf working and getting myself in such a state. I felt that I was letting him down in one of the most basic needs, feeding him.
Try not to beat yourself up about it all and do try to keep the bigger picture in mind of all that you do to care for and love him.
Personally I think we're put under a lot of pressure now to bf our babies - great if you and baby can manage it fine, but adds to the stress of having a newborn if it doesn't work properly.

As for me, well am finally managing to tell a few more people in a down-played embarrassed kind of way. Showed a few people at church the scan pics yesterday, seems to be the easiest way of announcing it. Have had my first hand on tummy experience of this pg from one of the ladies, who then apologised profusely in case I was offended!

DH and I even managed to 'you know' last night so maybe I am slowly coming out of my detached emotionless void..

Short article in the Times today about how inadequate breastfeeding support in the UK is, and I quite agree. You're told and told that Breastfeeding is Best for Baby, and then they pack you off out of hospital twelve hours after you give birth with a sleepy baby and a short tutorial which you can hardly remember, and then when things don't work out, you get to feel horribly guilty about it. Fab. This happened to a lot of my friends, but I think I got v. lucky in that my mother used to host La Leche League groups, and she spent the first two weeks of DS's life patiently helping me get him latched over and over again - I don't know what I'd have done if I'd been left alone to the tender care of the HV. Probably not kept it up, tbh.

I have a friend who teaches five year olds, and she says that if you line 'em all up, you can't possibly tell which ones were breastfed and which got bottles. She definitely has a point.

Crunchie I am still so so happy for you how happy you sound and it sounds like DS1 is being helpful aready? Sounds like Polly was waiting for her grandmummy to arrive!! You better be planning to stick around ? wouldn?t be the same without you.

Herbie I also agree, if you should be having a scan to check the growth then you should push further for this!! Hmmmf! Blinkin hospitals ? always trying to dwindle us out of scans. How are you getting on with it? Did you persevere with the phoning?

Sydney reading your post about drinking sounded like me ? I don?t drink at all because of those very reasons? It does not stop me sniffing my sisters large Pinot?s? I am pleased that your little one is wriggling around for you? and your cheesy grin makes me smile ? the optimism is setting in

Gentle/Gentlydoesit loving the new name? How are you getting on?

Lola I have fully caught up with your post now, it is lovely lovely lovely to have you back! A bit bloody chubby? I bet you blinkin well don?t, and I would LOVE to have seen how ?gorgeous/glowing/glamorous? said girl was during/when she was/is pregnant. PAH. I wouldn?t worry about it at all! I have not had any insensitive comments yet ? I don?t know what I would have said in your position. Sigh, some people just DO NOT know how to handle preggers ladies. How was your holiday anyway? Are you lovely and tanned? I am 25 weeks now/tomorrow (who knows the way they keep changing my dates) and also feeling him moving aaaaaaall the time.. well he kept me awake from 2 this morning so I am yawning my head off today. When do you find her most active? I am so pleased you have dived in and bought the nappies. You?ve come back an all round more positive person, I bet that in itself is making you have that pregnancy ?glow? that so many books rave about. I am with Daisy, you are an inspiration to all on this thread. I am sorry that people in RL did not remember/acknowledge the anniversary ? that must have been hard for you. From a selfish point of view, I am lucky I?ll have you here until the end of August with me.

Alana Nice and insensitive of your colleague, nice way to pass the ?blame? about her sickness (I don?t know how to word this) bloody cheeky bugger. I am pleased you have had a day of no spotting? even though we all know that spotting does not mean the worst, it is helpful when our bodies don?t try and mess up our minds.

Jools good luck at your appointment, I really do hope they get to the bottom of it and we see you here again soon. Please lurk and keep us updated on how you are doing.

Daisy it is SO lovely to hear you?re getting on well with your gorgeous Maya.

LadyH I hope that things settle down at home and little Rufus feeds well now that you?re home.

My weekend was very good, apart from dodgy bra measuring at La Senza ? maybe I shouldn?t have picked there? Have to take the bras back that I bought as they?re just not blinkin right. Went out on Saturday night for DPs friends leaving/going travelling party, had some lovely comments regarding the bump.. although after being told for about 4 weeks that I have a big bump, I was told repeatedly that I am ?tiny? . Although a very nice girl that I have known through friends for a while said I should be in the Mamas & Papas/any sort of baby catalogue/magazine? she had, by then, had a few wines BUT I don?t care! It counts!!

This post has turned out a lot lot lot longer than I first anticipated. I am so happy that Crunchie?s birth has reunited everyone.

You?re all lovely ladies

xx

Scarlotti I thought i had popped you in at the top of my post but I remembered that i started to write one earlier but had to log off when bloody work got in the way.. I am so happy that you've started to tell others about your little one now. congratulations. How were the people that you told? Over the blinkin mood i bet. It was a big hurdle and you've done it. CONGRATULATIONS xx

Oh Crunch!! Many happy lovely CONGRATULATIONS to you. You were so kind to me after my mc a couple of months back that I just had to pop back in to say well done and welcome to Polly. As you may have guessed, it's one of my favourite names..... Also, it's my birthday in a couple of days and this is absolutely the best time of year to have a birthday. So, she's double lucky already, I reckon.

I'm doing ok two months along from my mc, although a bit up and down emotionally still. But my cycles got back to normal immediately which I'm taking as a good sign. Big 40 on Wednesday then off to France for a couple of weeks of much-needed rest.

Waves and blows kisses to everyone else

Congratulations Crunch glad the birth went how you wanted, that sounds fabulous at home in the pool and welcome to Polly.

Well the hen night went well, i used the fake drinks option which worked well until we were back at a mates house and the shots were brought out- i then used the cystitus option which worked for everyone other than my best mate who guessed (but she knew about the previous miscarriage, so knew we were trying) so all in all a good night.

Ive not been feeling too bad, at 7 weeks now and keep getting headaches, has anyone else had these this early on?

Apart from that the usual backache, tenderness, etc

Hows everyone else feeling?

ashleigh thanks, it was nice to tell people and I got lovely reactions. Am starting to run out of clothes to wear now too so it's becoming much more real.
Still haven't opened the box with the pram I bought last time though - that will be the next big hurdle as it wasn't bought for this lo

Ciara glad the hen night went well, you did well to keep the pretence going. Headaches in the early stage are quite common, make sure you're drinking plenty as you'll dehydrate more than usual.

Tamlin good post re bf vs bottle and a good point from your friend. Both me and my brother were bottle fed as that was the fashion then and we're both fine and fit as fiddles.

littlepolly nice to see you again.

Had to leave work early again yesterday to go home and sleep! Felt better for it, but then wasn't that tired when I went to bed, sigh. (tmi alert) have sore bits today though, is this normal? Everything feels a bit swollen and so pants etc. are rubbing - do I need to see the doc? Am sure it was much later on I 'grew' last time

hi ladies i feel i can post properly now although i've been reading your stories every day for weeks and following crunch's countdown too
I've just had my 12 week scan this morning and want to shout it from the roof tops !!
Husband is just like well thats good and my mum is still thinking i'm gonna loose this one i think although my 2 mc's were both before 8 weeks
Nobody seems to get what a huge deal today was/is for me !!!!
can i add myself to your due date list ?? as i'm addicted to checking this thread at least twice a day but only posted a couple of times

tink - congratulations on your scan! As I understand it, the odds once we get to this stage are about as good as they can be - we're no more likely to have problems than anyone else. So enjoy feeling good! (But don't worry if the good feeling doesn't become permanent for a while. Although you'll probably have worked that out from reading the thread.)

thanks cornflakegirl ( wicked name by the way ! )
i cant stop smiling

Scarlotti I am a bit at reading your post, there are so many hurdles that we have to pass and each thing is a painful reminder of what we have lost. Dont rush to do it, no need, for now you concentrate on the positive reactions and buy some nice new clothes, dont even have to be actual maternity if you cant do that yet - my first lot werent, just flowy fashion tops.. I didnt buy my first pair of maternity trousers until last week... so 24 weeks pregnant even though I DESPERATELY needed them. I dont know about you but what sometimes the smallest steps can feel like the biggest hurdles.

Hi tink of course, if you feel ready putcha self on the list You're more than welcome here. CONGRATULATIONS on your scan this morning - I imagine every woman on here knows how much of a big deal the 12 week scan is, so we'll all share your excitement. When is your EDD?

I think i am getting my morning sickness back at 25 weeks - does anyone know if this is normal? I have felt PANTS for the past couple of days (probably not helped by a kicking night time baby - i am not moaning just stating ) I am also VERY tired, in fact i am going to go home in a minute, I am not coping well at work today trying not to be sick every... Please someone tell me this is normal ???

xx

OMG, crunchie Polly is here!! I knew she'd come when I was away the weekend. Congratulations that's lovely news and your birth also sounded like a dream delivery. Both her and Nathan are Friday children, what do they say about those born on a Fri again? Hope you're finding the early days as enjoyable as me, I can't stop staring at and kissing my wee angel

tink congratulations, 12wk successful scan is fab

ashleigh I was knackered the whole way through this pg which only went when he was born (now the tiredness is just lack of sleep related). You should get your hb checked just in case though. And definately rest when you can, an hours sleep can make the difference.

Sorry have to cut this post short, DS is wailing - serves me right for turning the swinging off on his swing trying to conserve batteries . My boobs are also tingling in response to his crying, what a weird feeling.

Ashleighbee my edd is nov 24th ( 12 days after my birthday ! )
I'm still buzzing and can't stop staring at my scan pic
Got my anomoly scan july 14th and defo gonna ask if we can find out the sex too

scotlass Friday's child is loving and giving so the saying goes.
My brother was born on a Wednesday which is 'full of woe' - he was always reminded of that when moaning as a child, poor boy!

ashleigh thanks for your lovely post. I'ts funny how some things are bigger hurdles than others isn't it? I'm ok with the maternity clothes as I have some from ds and I can't fit into normal clothes anymore. even tops are no good as my boobs have gone up about 3 or 4 cup sizes already. Had a little online spree at Next so hopefully will feel more comfortable at work soon.

Think the 20 week scan will be a major milestone for me and I might well open the pram box then. Bought it from eBay so I'm hoping it's all ok! Bit late to send it back if not. Once we know what we're having then I plan to buy a new cover (bought a bugaboo) which will then make it this baby's pram iyswim.

crunch hope Polly is doing well and growing daily

Hi all. Happy Tuesday!

Scarlotti well done on telling loads of people and I felt so to read about your pram. I think it?s a great idea to open it after the 20 week scan. One step at a time remember, each hurdle will be overcome. Grab sleep when you can ? I am lucky because I work at a university and can sneak off to forgotten corners of the library for naps now and again. So far have not been sprung snoring away with my mouth open by any of my students but it?s only a matter of time

Hope you?re still hanging on to that optimism Ashleighbee despite the return of morning sickness, and I?m looking forward to seeing you gracing the cover of ?Mother and Baby? any time now . Am v jealous as the only thing anyone seems to say when they say me is along the lines of ?blimey you?re MASSIVE? and I?m only 22 weeks .... I have put on about a stone I think and gone from a size 12 to the top end of 14 but I am 5 foot 10 ....

LittleP nice to see you and here?s hoping some good old fashioned holiday frolicking has you back on here in a few weeks with happy news

And lovely to have you back on too Scotlass - hope life with Nathan is going great with those tingling boobs

Well done on the hen night Ciara. I had headaches on and off a lot up until about 14 weeks and I still get the odd one now.

Gently is this new version a spring makeover? I like it . How are things?

Congrats on the 12 week milestone Tink, just cut and paste the list from the latest post (Lola?s I think) and then add yourself to the passenger list. Welcome aboard!
(((((waves)))))) to everyone else.

Not that much to report from Sydney Towers, except the bump-fondling has begun all of a sudden. A couple of women at work reached out for a little pat yesterday, and today an Iranian man I?d never even met before grabbed my bump with both hands and proclaimed I?d be having a girl. I was quite taken aback and too pissed off even to tell him he?d guessed right. I meet international students every day so I?m kind of resigned to all manner of cultural differences popping up but was still a bit freaked out

Tink, congrats, it is lovely how utterly relieved you feel after that scan!

Scarlotti, I've just gone ahead and bought maternity clothes defiantly on the grounds that the local op-shop or NCT will get very very lucky should the worst happen.

Also - and I really did feel as if I was tempting fate here - we bought a Phil and Ted's double buggy last weekend. Fortunately, the back seat clips off, so right now, I'm wheeling DS about in it defiantly (since his old pushchair was great for buses and trains, less great at handling the village paddocks). It's a lovely buggy and soddit, I can always sell the attachment if I must.

sydney thanks. Am at you being able to pop for a quick nap and also for you working at a Uni. I'm trying to find a way to change career and teaching at a Uni would be my all time best job. Not sure how to get in though as work in industry, not teaching.

at the Iranian man! Some people have no concept of personal space.

Tamlin good for you with the Phil and Ted. I think defiance is a good stance.

My maternity stuff should arrive today from Next so looking forward to that. Coat I bought on eBay arrived yesterday so wearing it with pride today - it's a bit big for me at the moment but the rate I'm putting weight on it won't be for long. sydney how have you only managed to get away with a stone by 25 weeks?!?! I've almost at the stone mark now at 14 weeks. Sigh. It's going to be a long hard slog to shift it all afterwards.