Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Ciara, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that. It makes it very hard to try and bond with your current pregnancy - I know I kept thinking 'What if it's not alive in there at all?' and then bawling. Was absolutely dreading a repeat of the missed miscarriage scan... I hope you get to see a live bean this time around.

Agreeing that I don't think most of us are due soon - I'm just idiotically afraid of jinxing things if I put my November due date down. It still seems so early.

And Suze! A girl! Congratulations!

Crunch, would it be worth pointing out to your not-so-DH that if (God forbid) you need a caesarian, you won't be allowed to drive for six weeks afterwards?! He needs to get it sorted!

Tamlin I believe the form has now been posted Although it wouldn't be the first time he's lied about doing something he hasn't. Sadly I think all his behaviour is to actually get a reaction out of me (because then I'm proving I care) - so the less I react the better. Although I did calmly say that if it wasn't sorted asap and he kept driving I would be the one calling the police and he could deal with the consequences (he looked rather shocked at that ).

I've told him that once baby-hysteria dies down he will be moving out again (that's if he doesn't get abusive in the meantime).

He's worse than my 3 year old

Ooh, I have a driving issue with DP. He is totally marvellous in every way - very supportive, been manically sorting out the house, etc etc - but he can't drive. He's promised to learn, as I've said I'm not carrying on doing all the driving once Cromwell's here, and he's been massively dawdling about it. He had a few lessons in a simulator, but since then keeps 'forgetting' to send off for his drivers' licence application. I fear my original aim of him passing for my due date - end of June - is totally out of the water. Next June might be pushing it.

If I've been BFing all day and night, the last thing I'm going to want to do is drive to Ikea, relatives, the dump, etc etc. He'll have to get a taxi, and pay for it.

herb definitely! You will not want to taxi him around when you can barely reach the wheel because of your bump either! Men!

Hi laaaaadies!

Crunch I cant believe you're still here.. Are we going with tomorrow? I think my money will be on tomorrow... at your DH for not sorting his bum out with driving licence sooner.. I hope that he has sent it off as its just not on to be ferrying his lovely glowing (not stressed out at all) pregnant wife and lovely DCs out in an uninsured car with no licence. Ashleighbeee = at Mr Crunch!

Suze CONGRATULATIONS, I am over the moon for you! I really am, a little girl for you, thats FAB! And well done for going on the list.. just WELL DONE all blinkin round! I was just looking, if i am 2 weeks late and you are 2 weeks early you will big fat beat me to it. (is that right - am i confused, have I got a mushy baby brain?)

Ciara Welcome to the thread, I joined the knickercheckers when I was around 7 weeks if i remember correctly.. I had been for a reassurance scan already and was spotting. You're definitely in the right place, there's nothing like speaking to a thread full of people who are only here because they've been through something that you have too. Please do let all your worries out here, if you're going through something you're concerned about - more often than not someone else has been there too. Definitely cannot win when it comes to the symptom spotting, our body's like to trick us unfortunately...

Tamlin How is the spotting? Have you made a decision on the doppler front?

Ladies on the wee front, why on earth do the midwifes insist on us carrying old wee around with us anyway? I am always so excited and happy to get out of there positively that i forget its there!! I will have to make sure the top is screwed on firmly after hearing the handbag story haha!

Alana I am so pleased all went well with you [Grin]

Scarlotti How are things with you at the moment?

Ladies, please be proud of me, I have FINALLY purchased actual maternity trousers... I think this may have been my biggest step so far. I am a pregnant lady who is having a baby.. therefore i deserve nice stretchy trousers.

I know i have forgotten people, for that i am sorry.

Has anyone heard from Lola ?

xx

herby you too?? Dh can't drive either and it's a right royal pain! Am v lucky in that there is another parent who happily drops dd off after some of her clubs as they pass by, otherwise my taxi duties would be much worse.

We have just moved forward to dh getting his provisional. How long it will now take to organising lessons I don't know - he is very phobic - but I'm certainly not wanting to be the sole driver Mum of 3!! I reckon dd will get her licence before dh - she's 15 in July!

ashleigh woohoo on the trousers! I can't believe you've managed to hang on this long! My body remembered what it was supposed to do (i.e. expand the tummy) almost immediately so I've been in fat trousers and maternity tops for a few weeks now
You made me smile with your line 'I am a pregnant lady who is having a baby'
Yes you are sweets, and it's great to see you embracing it a little more. (now if you could just show me how to do that...)

As for me, am doing ok actually. Home front is improving, albeit at a slower pace than I'd like. Nausea has gone and I'm actually feeling quite well. Still not connecting with baby but I think i'll get there slowly. Do feel the odd flip but every time I question whether it was wind or not!!

Herb and Scarlotti you are now making me feel guilty - I have only just got round to getting a provisional licence. At 39. I think I will be getting my bus pass before my driving licence .

ashleigh at your trousers, you're now well and truly on your way. Glad to see you're feeling more positive about it all. I think I was about 18 weeks when I began to let the mere idea of maybe, perhaps, possibly, there being a baby in there. Having the doppler was my big step in bonding I think. Being able to lie there listening to the HB all by myself let me connect.

Scarlotti ah the old, "Was it baby or bubbles?" quandry I remember it well. I hope it all continues to improve for you.

alana you don't have to feel guilty because your DH should be ferrying you around and treating you like royalty. So put the away.

My mother is arriving this evening so don't get too excited when I don't post as much - it's far more likely that I'll be busy making tea (Raspberry Leaf of course) rather than giving birth. I will try to pop on each morning 'til I pop, though. I hope Lola turns up soon.

crunch fingers crossed your Mam arriving will do the trick then and trocodile will be so curious to meet her Nanna that she'll speed out!

alana, I can't drive either. I failed my test due to my complete inability to tell my left from my right - the instructor kept saying 'Go right!' and I'd go the other way and he'd get crosser and crosser.

Scarlotti, I think I'm feeling mine too - tiny butterfly flutters (we're due about the same time, right?) It's really reassuring, I've got to say - with DS, I had an anterior placenta and didn't feel a thing until I was 22 weeks or so.

Crunch, I hope your mum babies you nicely (and brings chocolate).

crunch hang in there. I was induced at 40+ 14 with DD and remember the waiting so well. Some days I 'decided' I was going into labour and scrubbed the floor, went swimming, went for long walks (all with SPD!!!), had hot baths, tried nipple twitching, had sex (DH was - I wasn't one of those with a libido in pg!), even a g&T in the bath and never managed more than setting off ridiculously well-timed 10 minute braxtons for the next night, which only served to keep me awake so I had to spend the next day asleep on the sofa. Other days I just knew there was still so long to go that I didn't bother even remembering I might give birth soon. Ended up with a section, but that's another story for another day, if you need it.

scarlotti we are down the road from your IL's in Kintore. I love the open space and fresh air, but this COLD is becoming very wearing...

Ciara welcome, you're in the right place . I'm at 13 (or 14?) weeks and my biggest fear was that the baby had died and my stupid body wasn't letting me know. My last mc was a mmc at 9 weeks. Hang in there. All the twinges are probably good. I've had some corkers today.

I do believe I'm beginning to get more optimistic

tamlin wanted to say hi and hope the bleeding has settled. You poor thing. Twinges you can choose to ignore but bleeding is harder. Fingers crossed.

Do you know its really helpful having somewhere to air all my worries and to know that we are not alone when going through all of the worries and aches and pains

So hobnob have you had an early scan cause of your previous miscarriage? My fear is the same as yours about not knowing whether the baby is still alive - it makes me almost scared to have a scan to find out - but i know i should.

Scarlotti your miscarriages seem like mine, but i havent got any children yet - fingers crossed for both of us this time, at least you are now past the 12 weeks, but im sure its very difficult to stop worrying.

Crunch Good luck i hope today is the day, fingers crossed for you

Today i have a few stomach cramps that seem to come and go depending on how im sitting, whether im thinking about it or concentrating on work, so im hoping they are all normal.

I really should go to the GP

hobnob we have friends in Kintore! We're currently toying with the idea of moving up. Dh's family are all up there and my family are dotted all over but nowhere near us. It would be nice to be nearer family when the new one is here as we have nobody to give us a break at the moment. Have to say too, slowing down my lifestyle would be very appealing! Kintore might be one of the options for us to move to!!

Tamlin yes I think w're due a similar time. I'm not sure I find the flutters reassuring though, more that it forces me to think about the baby and I'm not sure I'm that ready yet. Sounds awful doesn't it, am hoping it's the defence mechanism still and it will ease over the next month or two.

Ciara stomach cramps are quite common and are probably your muscles and ligaments stretching and reacting to the hormonal changes. See your gp or mw if you're worried.
My gp requested an early scan but the hospital refused (ours only does reassurance scans after 3 m/c) I had spotting at 6 weeks so went to the EPU at 6+3 and had a scan. Was very reassuring to see a heartbeat.

Scarlotti isn't it frustrating that you get so little extra consideration if you've "only" had 1 or 2 mc. I reckon if I'd been able to have an early scan I'd have avoided 3 visits to the GP with non-specific worries, which uses nhs resources too.

Now for a bit of a rant, sorry. I have arrived at work to have people congratulate me on the news I haven't actually broken. I had told my boss, and had to tell someone I was working closely with when I was 8/9 weeks and started throwing up everywhere (including on my shoes and hair so felt I had to explain the wet bits of me / possible smell) and even though I said I wouldn't be telling people for a while she decided when that while was up. Very but upside is that I haven't given a thought to any worrying symptoms for the last 3 hours so perhaps I just need to find a string of things to vex me for the next 25 weeks and it should fly by.

alana I agree. The doc at the epu said that we'd be taking up the time of someone who had a real problem The medical profession really can be quite insensitive. All that ends up happening is that people 'find' a spot of bleeding and go through the system for a scan anyway.

Grr at your work colleague at how some people think it's their news to share.

Scarlotti thats bad that your hospital would not give you a reassurance scan but all you had to mention was one bit of bleeding and your in. Thats the only good thing about my epu is that you can have a scan even after one mc whenever you want.

And Alana i cant believe that your boss told everyone, that is our of order

My other dilemma is that i have a hen night tomorrow night and obviously do not want to drink too much (if anything at all) but then i have two problems - what do i say to people as to why im not drinking and also theres this little thing in the back of my mind saying to me "well what if it goes wrong again - then you wouldnt have drunk for no reason"

Aargh what can you do?

Anyone been in this position before?

Ciara, go with the old tried-and-true 'I'm on antibiotics' fib, and if they don't go for it, say it's for cystitis. No woman in her right mind who's ever had cystitis would question you staying off the sauce, and you'll have an excellent reason for those frequent loo trips.

Our EPU will only scan if there is bleeding or pain. I managed to get at scan at 7 weeks purely because of the goodwill of a midwife after I broke down to her on the phone after losing all my symptoms (as she predicted, they soon came back again!). She phoned the EPU and wangled me a scan the very next day.

Scarlotti I'd recommend Kintore as a place to live. We only have one car, but I find it ok since there's the GP, PO, chemist, somerfield all close by and nice country walks all around. Lots of nice houses for sale at the moment, and our next door neighbours are thinking of trying to sell up again so they can de-camp to Spain. I'd lose a childminder if that happens, so perhaps I'll not push that one!

What you said about flutters unwelcomingly forcing you to think about the baby rang bells with me. I realised this morning that I hadn't even looked at my scan pics from Tuesday yet, and I'm really resenting folk at work asking me about my plans for maternity leave rather than the weather these days. I'd rather stay in cloud cuckoo land!

Hope everyone is having a good day. DH is home feeling icky and doing my head in. I'll be off out to see friends as soon as DD wakes up

Hobnob thanks for the info, it does sound like a nice place.
Wonder when we'll be pleased with our flutters? I too have barely looked at my scan pics.

Ciara have been where you are. Went to a friend's hen weekend in Ibiza when I was very early pg (with the last one) and have had a few social events with this one. You can either do antibiotics, or you can offer to keep the kitty and buy the rounds. Get yourself a tonic or lemonade with lemon/lime in and claim it's a G&T or something. When someone else goes you ask them to buy you a lemonade so you can 'pace' yourself.
My midwife said to me that 1-2 units a week is fine. I read an article that supported that - the alcohol is metabolised by your liver before getting to the placenta, hence one or two drinks is fine. You could have a glass of wine or two, interspersed with your fake G&T's and your pacer drinks. Once you've been out a few hours, everyone else will be drunk so won't notice.

Thank you Scarlotti and Tamlin both are good ideas, i will see what the mood is like tomorrow before deciding which one to play, but they should work.

I quite like the idea of the fake drinks and the "pacer" drinks, i can see that idea being used in the coming weeks. Fingers crossed that everything remains ok that is.

I will let you know on Monday how it went.

So far today ive been feeling pretty good, a few very mild cramps this morning but now no pains, but still feeling bit sick and tender boobs - which then leads me to thinking that because im feeling better it must be going wrong - its like a vicious circle isnt it?

Has anyone heard from Crunch today? Any news?

Ciara glad to hear you're feeling better and enjoy your night out tomorrow. I have just started to think the odd small glass of wine might be in order and found that bizarrely it has joined the list of things I can't stand at the moment (along with chocolate and crisps for some reason) which is a bit depressing because I'm so sick of water and squash.

No spotting today. Fingers and toes are crossed.

I went to see my old physio (I was seeing one regularly after the birth of DS as the pregnancy did a number on my joints) as my hips and lower back are already starting to ache. She advised me to pick up and carry DS as little as possible - poor old DS, he's only nineteen months old, but alas, he's a very sturdy tot and he really is doing a number on my back. So now I stand at the top of the stairs shouting 'Come up here, you daft child' and he stands at the bottom grizzling to be carried up because oh, climbing the stairs is TOO MUCH WORK.

Have also booked the doula. I bloody well hope this pregnancy is sticking, I don't want to have to cancel all of this...

Tamlin - can you carry DS on your back? My DS is nearly 4, and weighs a ton, so I can't really do carrying him much, but piggybacks don't seem to be as bad. (Can't remember if 19mos can do holding on well enough for that to actually work though!)

He's not really quite big enough for that, and I think that the extra weight is what's problematic. I have hypermobility (meaning that my joints are prone to over-rotating even when I'm not pregnant) and when the relaxin hits, everything loosens up far too much.

He's mostly pretty independent (if lazy when it comes to stairs!), but I do still feel a bit guilty... I think I've read too much of that babywearing propaganda.

Hello everyone Well I'm still here...