40+ mums-to-be and those who've 'popped' - come say hi, pull up a chair and have some cake!

[jeanjeannie]

Hello everyone - yet another thread. I'm expecting a call anyday soon from ITV - as I imagine we'll be prime candidates for taking over the Loose Women slot when they need a break

So, for anyone interested in joining in with us - just jump in and say Hi - we don't bite - unless you're disguised as a chocolate sponge cake

Ladies..................Take it away

JJ sorry to hear all that. Glad you are getting Iris the help she needs.

JJ sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time. Ears are so vulnerable to infections; DD had a burst eardrum at 4 months old and that ear used to leak yellow goo every few months, when she got a cold etc. but because the NHS is very anti-antibiotics (which I understand, within reason) her eardrum was kept inflamed for far longer than it should have been and so never healed - she had to have an op to graft the drum last year. And her hearing in that ear will never be perfect again .

I hope there's been very little, if any, hearing loss for Iris, and that these intial diagnoses give you a useful direction in which to move. She sounds like the exact opposite of my 2 yr old niece, who can only use non-verbal communication but has no recognisable words yet. No hearing issues, and no explanation, although her gross motor skills aren't great either. They're having a go at makaton signing.

btw, we went for a private hearing test (got the money back off an insurance scheme we pay into) and found it was exactly the same equipment and time taken as the nhs one. They're good for ENT appointments around here so we didn't have to wait long at all either - for the hearing test or the op. Hope the care is as good round your way.

Jeanjeannie glad you feel you are on the path to helping your little girl, with your support and understanding she will deal with anything.

tee my DP is bi-polar and nearly all his close family have schizophrenia. Sister gone . Brother heroin addict DP imposes regime of immense self-discipline on bad days. I have a sunny disposition and have never managed to get even an inkling of how awful it must feel to war with your brain.

We got pg using donor sperm so we wouldn't have that worry . DP is so happy about that bit!

Oh jeanjeannie I'm sorry to hear that. All sounds a bit overwhelming as you seem to have got about 4 different things diagnosed in one go. I have heard of the CHAT test. Did she fail on every aspect or were there particular things that caused her problems?

A hearing test sounds like a good place to start. There was a 12 week waiting list in our area when Elizabeth needed one so we decided to go privately and got an appointment within a week. The Health Visitor helped us with this as it was the consultant we now see on the NHS. We go to the nearest paediatric Audiology clinic. After the initial private appt, the very nice consultant moved us straight on to his NHS list and we had a further appt with more tests later that same week.

I know you said there were big problems with her non-verbal communication but it could be helpful to try some simple signing. It has helped enormously for Elizabeth and means she doesn't get quite so frustrated.

Please let me know if there's anything at all I can help you with. Happy to pass on my email address if it would be useful. Thinking of you all and sending love up the M40.

JJ thought something must have been going on as it's not like you to go AWOL for a day unless something major was going on. Sorry to hear about Iris Lots of things all going on at once and you're still plate spinning all the usual day to day stuff.

Well, we've been through the system re Asperger's Syndrome with DSS who has his diagnosis confirmed after many months. If there's anything I can offer in the way of help (albeit from far away) then ask away. Btw Aspergers isn't the end of the world by any means. DSS is a bright and happy little boy but it's YOU and OH that have to re-adjust to the way you interact and understand her needs.

Big hugs me dear. And keep your chin up. xxx

Btw, I can see you in a swan outfit

mrsb D snaffling your ginger biscuit! lol. Excellent.

Cheers girls for your support - I've been feeling like I'm going nuts over the last few months just feeling something wasn't quite right albeit small.

ladymac she didn't fail the chat on anything other than tha non-pointing, following a point and socialising with other children but all of these are 'red flags' when combined. Apparently signing for us would probably cause confusion as she already knows loads of words and can use them she just has no idea of the concept of asking for anything or drawing you attention to anything. Thanks for the email offer I may take you up on that if the hearing turns out to be a problem. I just really like the way you guys dived straight in with Elizabeth's problem - no messing - and went for it head-on; that's my plan!!

So, it's my no means conclusive this test and if she is further up the autistic spectrum than your average kid - then all pointers indicate to it being quite mild.

JW the dr did say that it could also be a developmental delay due to prematurity as she believed this 2 year mark for milestones was a bit ridiculous. Like you say Asperger's isn't the end of the world - my mate has it and he's a surgeon but he admits he's better with the patients when they're asleep!!

ermintrude wow I didn't realise that about your DD she did mention that ENT would assess the eardrum.

So thanks all again for the hugs

peachy woah - that's one heck of bi-polar history for your dp You sound like me - one of life's labrador puppies! Not sure if it's appropriate but I did lol@ at your donor sperm quip!!

mrsb loving the ginger biscuit - ginger must count as one of your 5-a-day

Right time for a cuppa and a nappy change (Verity's not mine) as I've gone on for far too long

jj- as the others have said, Asperger's is not the end of the world and can be rather fun. About 30% of my fellow students at Cambridge were almost certainly on the spectrum, but mightily successful. It certainly gives a person singlemindedness, a very useful skill. Just a question of channeling! I should add though that my now 15 yr old son was also displaying quite a few of the signs as a toddler; he never "got" pointing for example- he would look at the end of the finger of whoever was pointing, and never did any creative play (eg lego, or plasticine or playing with his castle) until he was about 8! Then he seemed to overcome the wheat intolerance that had plagued him since toddlerhood and a bout of food poisoning in Dublin (I always wonder whether that's relevant as Ireland has the highest rate of coeliac disease in the world), and suddenly became a lot less withdrawn.

I have a fair few friends with children with AS who have tried tweaking their child's diet (particularly if their child tends to favour food from one particular food group) with fairly good results. One child practically lived on yoghurt. When his mother removed dairy from his diet, he improved a lot. Another went on a wheat-free diet and improved, although not completely. It later turned out that he also had a pituitary tumour that may have been causing more problems than the AS.

Jeanjeanie must be a relief to have some clarity on the issue, means you can help her.

But my donor sperm quip! That's really what we did!
When I first met DP he explained that the thought of his 'line' going any further filled him with dread. We agreed to adopt but I flipped on my 41st birthday and we agreed to do the IVF donor thing. It's quite a saga but actually pretty amazing. He feels 100% the dad though - really excited!

I probably shouldn't come out with things like that without explanation - it just seems quite normal to us now .

Tee when my DP is blue I leave him well alone with a huge pile of chocolate and his beloved Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em box set. You do whatever it takes to get you through - can you take your nice meds as soon as you've popped?

peachy- your husband sounds wonderful- willing to forego his genes continuing but still desperate to be a father. I'm sure he will be the best dad ever.

Duchesse thanks he is! Although it has to be said he can be a right bugger on occasion..

Interesting you say that about Cambridge (DP went there). Did you see that documentary about the Maths Olympiad? All those amazingly bright kids, most of them somewhere on the autism spectrum.

Hello haven't been around for a couple of days, too busy eating cake with my parents!

JJ Oh flipping heck, at least the GP is doing something so hopefully you can get to the bottom of things soon.

Tee sorry you are having a crap day ((hugs)).

MrsB nice to see the boy is making a good start in his food choices.

Peachy what a incredible husband you have. Didn't see the programme but I'm sure you are right.

Must go and cook for the hordes! Parents evening as well tonight!

Gosh, yes I did see that! They were definitely all well into the spectrum. My husband is a Cambridge mathematician (although not a maths genius) and I look at him askance sometimes...

JJ I hope you get something sorted for Iris soon. I love the name Iris, it's so timelessly elegant.

tee sorry to hear you're having a crappy time, depression truly sucks. I've had to come off my painkillers to get pregnant, and I'm really suffering right now too; you know your tablets work, and you know when you will be able to start to take them again - try to remember it's not going to be forever.

Evening all. Gosh - i can't tell you how much better I feel - like I'm 'doing' something about Iris and not just sitting moaning and wondering.

duchesse interesting you say about not getting the whole pointing thing - just that other people have said that to me about their DCs and they've subsequently been ok - so who knows. Iris had a fabulous diet before she got ill - and ever since then she's pared it down to the point that so little will pass her lips - so frustrating. We live mainly on veg and are't big on wheat as it makes me very sluggish and gives me wind!!! However her diet is something I would like to address but don't want to go into the meal-time battle before she's old enough to be able to verbalise her thoughts. Plus - we won't know till we see the ENT person if her vocal chords give her pain and she may associate some foods with that. Gosh - so many variables!

peachy your DP really does sound like a 'top bloke' and the image of him - feeling down, with his pile of choccies and box set of Some Mother's......Awwww, that's just tooooo sweet [grin}

tee hope you're feeling a bit better. Pregnancy wiped me out big time - especially my first one - I waited patiently for when I'd feel lively ....and glow.....I'm still waiting Love being a mum - but never felt at one with being preggie!

Early night tonight ......after having treated myself to a Costco pastry

Thanks everyone who is sympathizing.

The problem with going back on my drugs as soon as I drop, so to speak is that I can't breastfeed on them. I'd like to be able to do that for at least a little while!

We'll see what my GP says tomorrow. But I am thinking that staying at work any longer is a bad idea. I can start my leave in about 4 weeks, and I may have to, despite what I've previously told work.

Good morning all.

Did everyone go to bed early last night? Oh, I know you were all watching Red Riding! So was DH, I went to sleep half way through!

So started my day by throwing up breakfast. I thought morning sickness was suppose to be at the beginning of the pregnancy!!

Off to the doctor in a bit.

Talk to y'all later!

Crikey tee. You're having a real old time of it aren't you? Hope your doc sorts something out for you.

I did go to bed early last night. Far too much running around yesterday.

DH has taken dog to vets for his jabs - oooh he's gonna be in a bad mood when he gets back (not DH, the dog). Hates the vets almost as much as he hates cats.

I'm out with DD#1 today for our weekly lunch date and a spot of retail therapy.

Tomorrow we're planning a family day out to Chester zoo. First family outing for us Weather permitting naturally. So tonight I'll be compiling a picnic and hoping that the zoo has bottle/baby food warming facilities. I think I may phone ahead to be sure. Don't suppose anyone on here has been there and know how the land lies?

mrsb come in mrsb. Where are you?

Morning everyone!

Lucky my DP can't hear you all being so nice about him, his head's too big already [hmn]. His nickname's Bluebeard though, I think that shows he has his off days!

I've been out every night this week (we're leaving the country next week so I wanted to catch up with everyone) but last night had preggo brain and got on the wrong bus home. I finally looked up and realised I was in an unknown part of London . D'oh...

jeanjeanie Tootsie's right, Iris is a beautiful name. Hope she starts eating more soon that must be so difficult for you.

Morning all....Verity been sick everywhere - bed, her playnest and now on the sofa Done nursery run and Iris very unhappy too - oh joy! I had an early night - 9.30 and boy am I thrilled I did!

tee ugh - sounds like you've got yourself a bug there - the vomit bug is doing the rounds here

jw have fun with DD1. Not been to Chester Zoo I'm afraid - but places like that are usually quite good at stuff for kids - blimey, they usually charge enough! You may have to did out the Thermos Flask - do that with Iris although it does usually make me look a bit 'Roy & Hayley Cropper!' Mind you, for a bet I once took a pile of cheese and picalilli sandwiches wrapped in tin foil into a Chanel Catwalk show in Paris. There I was in the chic pres rows - looking like something out of Ugly Betty, took them out of my bag, unwrapped them and started to eat them Oh how wonderful it was to offend the sensibilities of those delicate ladies....especially the one that's now on 10 years younger and who has ended up looking like a blonde version of Miss jones in Rising Damp Happy Days!!

OOoooo red nose emoticons

I'm here jw /waves

at work - I try to keep the posting to a minimum, caught up with yesterday's events last night by which time it wa too late to post anything!

A day out at the zoo sounds lovely - it's great that your and K's enforced seclusion is coming to an end jw No idea about bottke warming facilities but you'd imagine that their catering/cafe places would have such facilities. Not that I'd ever need them as Mr D gets all his food/bottles at whatever tempertaure they happen to be at. I was just thinking how far standards have slipped in the six months since he was born

jj hope you and the girls are feeling chipper this morning - there's nowt like setting to tacking a problem to make it seem more manageable, and with you as her mum Iris won't go to far wrong!

tee sorry you are still having a hard time -my mornign sickness started at 35 weeks!

Oooh look red noses!!!

ahh x posts not so chipper all round jj does she have the vomitig bug do you think? I am dreading D catching it at the nursery - more time off work!. Every day we arrive at the door there's a sort of cross on the door type arrqangement with the day's diseases posted up on sheets of A4. This week it was chicken pox and hand foot and moth disease plus the vomming bug.

Hope V feels better soon

This D&V bug is really doing the rounds isn't it? Mind you, they did pre-warn me at K's last jab appointment that March is the month for it. I think we should be ok with a trip to the zoo as there's more walking round to do than anything.

mrsb funny you should say that about bottle temps. K won't have her bottle warm anymore. Point blank refuses it. I just take the chill off it in some hot water but it has to be room temperature otherwise I get pursed lips and refusal at the first fence I'll make up the bottles with the hot water and put them in the bottle carrier. She can have them however they come and lump it! At least the rain looks like it might hold off.

I remember the illnesses well when mine were at nursery. I seemed to be in a constant state of who has what this week. He'll soon build up a resistence though and his immune system will be made of iron!

jj has Verity got this vomitting bug now? It always seems to come at once doesn't it? I'm going to send you some full fat cake with a cherry on the top. It migh be a bit flat though by the time it reaches you

I'm at my docs next thursday for weigh in. I've also found a lump on my neck that feels like a swollen gland. I've not got a sore throat or any other obvious infection. I've had a bad neck on and off for months but put it down to driving to the hospital twice a day to see K. Then it gets better. I thought it was a trapped nerve as the pain goes down my neck and shoulder and up my head to my temple. Anyway, I STUPIDLY googled neck lump and now I think I've got something very seriously wrong with me. It's a bad thing is Google to give you nightmares I'm trying not to think of the possibilities and wait and see what GP thinks. Didn't help reading Jade Goody's final interview in OK! last night..........I think that made it worse.

could be a swollen lymph gland jw which my googlings have told me is nearly always nowt to worry about, I have been having similar worries as I have a sore neck and shoulder and pain under one arm which comes and goes - I think its from having a crappy mattress and bad sleep and terrible posture. The Jade situation plays on my mind a bit too - not that I am ever usually susceptible to these thoughts - its just having a young child I reckon.

thank mrsbs Feel a little bit reassured.

I don't often think morbid thoughts either but I look at K and think I want to be here for her growing up.

yup jw

I have an actual list of things to get checked out next time I go to the doctors - I have a dark oddly shaped mark thing on my arm for several years that a doctor once said should be kept an eye on - I have decided now is the time for it to be looked at it again.