40+ mums-to-be and those who've 'popped' - come say hi, pull up a chair and have some cake!

[jeanjeannie]

Hello everyone - yet another thread. I'm expecting a call anyday soon from ITV - as I imagine we'll be prime candidates for taking over the Loose Women slot when they need a break

So, for anyone interested in joining in with us - just jump in and say Hi - we don't bite - unless you're disguised as a chocolate sponge cake

Ladies..................Take it away

JJ runs in - claims Jim'll Fix it' badge and exits stage left to a playgroup

ermintrude enjoy lunch with the 'quiet man'! And think how much younger you'll feel by the end of it

I dry pail too jw can't be doing with smell AND soggy...!

tee sorry about the nightmares. Being preggie does send your dreams all doo-lally! Mind you, I dreamed last night (when I had time) that my mate had covered her nice, white 1930s semi-detached in HUGE silhouettes of rabbits sat next to agapanthus flowers...........I mean....that's just 'odd'

Byeeee - wish me a poo-free outing

JW aha, antibacterial, I get it. I'm just going to stick them all (dry) in a washable mesh bag in a covered bucket and wash every other day. This is the plan, anyway. Found a website which sold the oils quite cheaply and it is such an overpowering smell it'll take the edge off them!

My lunch 'date' isn't really dull - he has quite a good sense of humour, in an ironic kind of way - he's just soooo quiet and shy. The first time I met him I'd brought a little present for his 6 month old daughter - a set of those cardboard Ikea stacking boxes that were less than £2 and with which I filled a cupboard a few years back - and he just didn't know what to say. I felt like I'd intruded or made an extravagant gesture and he was all embarrassed, whereas most people would have gone - oh thanks, they're great - and that would have been the end of it. Hmm, wonder if they've got any of those still, I gave them to billions of babies and they all loved them.

ermintrude I enjoy shopping! Just not when I've been up half the night with acid reflux! Enjoy your lunch.

JW 97 days! I'm looking forward to being up with the baby! At least I'll feel like I'm doing something useful and not just coughing up stomach acid!!

JJ that's beyond odd! Poo Free Outing wishes coming your way!

Hysterical conversation with DH yesterday:

DH: so, how long is the average labour anyway?
Me: 12 - 14 hours for a first baby. Could be longer. Could be shorter.
DH:

I think he needs to start reading his daddy books!!

tee how long was he expecting? You squeeze it out in his lunch hour?

ermintrude mine all go into a net bag which I just throw the whole bag into the washing machine. The lavender on the top of the nappies takes away any pongs. And I have two buckets; one holds just nappies and the other has fleece liners, boosters and wraps. Saves me sorting through the crap as I tend to wash these at 60 degrees at most, otherwise the wraps end up in shreds.

jj you been eating cheese before bed again?

I have no idea JW. Sometimes I think he sort of stops what he's doing and says to himself 'huh, baby.' And then continues on!

'ullo all

Still off, still sick (yawn) starting to yearn for the great outdoors but have such a disgusting cough now I daren't. It's brought me right back to my smoking days.

The Amby dangling over the open jaws of the cot is working in that D is sleeping now (mostly ) However because he is such a great big pudding these days his self- bouncing technique means that the bottom of the Amby bounces off the base of the cot and this comes across the monitor as a troupe of overweight elephants dancing on the bedroom floor At least he is happy. Will have to make alternative arrangements soon methinks.

hedgepig I don't how how much of a cyclist you were before but do you remember that awful knackered undercarriage thing you get when you cycle 20 miles for the first time in a long time? ouch. Get yourself a few good long practice cycles in so that you get that out of the way - also you can get some padded ladies cycling shorts these days which are great for protecting a lady's undercarriage .

tee omg on the waking up with mouthfuls of acid thing - I never had this until the other day when my cold was starting. It is foul. Worse than throwing up, possibly.

Your poor DH may indeed for labour a bit long for his liking (mine fell to sleep between contractions and only woke up when I whacked him with the gas and air pipe. Not deliberately unfortunately -I had insisted that he sat at the head of the bed at all times so as not to glimpse any of the business end of things and the pipe was dangling over his shoulder and would hit him and wake him during the contractions.

Enjoy your lunches and outings ladies

Oh dear mrsb. Sympathies coming your way

Crikey. Think that D (the pudding) will be tipping the Amby over soon. Better get him some crash mats!

I think you can get ladies gel saddles as well can't you? But they're for wimps hedgepig Don't forget the handbags

Tee love your husband! My DP is the same. The other day I found he was booking a holiday for early August and I said, er BABY... and he said, patiently, no, the baby's not due till the 26th. Apart from anything else, he appears to think a due date is a formal eviction notice and legally binding on the infant. When I told him the baby could be early he had to sit down...

Glad everyone is pretty much well, poo, sick, acid reflux permitting...

peachyfox lol at the husbands holiday plans. What is he like?? We had friends offering us to join them camping a couple of weeks after DD was due. Had to explai we didn't think it a good idea that year (and they've got kids!!).

Hedgepig go girl for the bike ride but get practicing too. I did it once and it was a lovely ride (but then I was about 21 and about 4 stone lighter!).

I'm feeling really, really sad and down today. Went to meet a consultant midwife at our hospital to talk about a VBAC before I see the consultant on Monday. She was really supportive and the hospital has lots of good policies including being free with the birthing pool for VBAC-ers (very unusual). However we went through what happened last time and came to the conclusion that a successful VBAC is unlikely due to my DD being a 9 pounder (with a fat head), not even engaging last time and being brow presenting. Second babies are generally bigger and if the first had trouble even engaging into my pelvis (only got to -4 or -3 - the chart goes from -3 to +4! ) then likely the second will. So our conclusions were that if I go into labour spontaneously at 37 weeks or thereabouts I have a good chance of natural birth but the later it goes the lower and lower the chances get.

I'm really down about it as I have been so keen to have a water birth with minimal intervention. It doesn't mean I can't try and I definately will but I need to be realistic and have a second option birth plan ready. Snivel - keep wanting to cry - which isn't good a work.

bonzo don't get too down about it dear. It's not the end of the world. You might get your water birth but if it's going to compromise LO then you're just going to have to shelve it.

I doubt I could cycle to the end of the road tbh so I applaud any of you ladies who do it.

We used to go camping twice a year but there is absolutely no chance until K is at least 3. Just couldn't face all the hassle of a baby in a tent.

bonzo I'm sorry to hear you might not be able to have the birth you want. That must really suck.

peachy I saw the thread about your DH and the cousins (was it cousins?) holiday. DH's are so funny!

mrsb I think its 10000x worse to wake up with the acid, because you feel it in both directions. With vomit, it comes up and its away! I'd rather be sick.

"a baby in a tent"

now there's a thought that strikes absolute horror to my very soul...

Afternoon - just swinging by to say I'm yet again Florence of the Nightingale DP is in bed - Verity is wailing and Iris is still asleep!

peachy am still laughing at your DP....and I love the idea of serving your bump with an eviction notice

bonzon Awwww....that could be a bummer....but, with the wind in the right direction, a calm, relaxed disposition and a German'esque' sense of timing - your LO may make it's way into the world the way you want I'm an optimistic soul!

mrsB sorry you're still YUK. I'm strangely enjoying Mr D's bizarre sleeping arrangements...I'm waiting for some weird Heath RObinson style contraption to work its way into his room very shortly

tee Acid is bad - whatever end Am at your DH's sense of scale with regards to childbirth. COuld you pop into work and sort a few bits out once you've cleaned up after yourself!!!!

Right - am off to tend to the sick. No wonder being a nurse NEVER appealed to me - I'd be cr*p

JJ I'm so impatient with DH when he's ill, I'm a horrid old bag, so well done for not murdering anyone yet. (I'm even worse as a patient. Illness wasn't allowed when I was young so I have issues with it...)

bonzo I know plenty of women whose 2nd babies were smaller than first, and there's no knowing for sure that this one will be a brow presentation of gargantuan proportions. But as JW says, best that you're prepared and that it comes out safely whichever way it happens. However, maybe start an intense regime of vindaloo and shagging a month before due date just to help things along?

mrsb that was very kind of you to spare your DH the business end during labour. I think every father should see his progeny crown, and remember it every time he gets a bit stroppy with his OH . Although in both cases I've been upright - once standing in a pool and the second time leaning over the bed - so my DH never got the full horror - hmmm, maybe I should rethink birthing positions

Tee Once your DH realises it's not 12-14 hours of agonised screaming, which is probably what he envisaged, he might feel a bit better about the prospect. Then again, if he relaxes a bit too much and starts planning the order in which he's going to play his PS2 games during your contractions, explain you will expect him to be on duty throughout!

Hedgepig 60 miles in one day? No sweat. Actually, that bit's a lie. Take plenty of cake and cash for pubs. Walk as much as you can beforehand, as you might not be able to at all for six weeks afterwards .

Bonzo I don't know what VBAC is and I'm scared to google it! I haven't even thought about a birth plan yet. I've been so preoccupied with everything to do with the pregnancy I forgot I was going to have a baby at the end of it..I did buy the contented little baby book yesterday because my SIL swore by it...Has anyone else bought books?

I had a bit of a stressful day today - got to the airport for a work trip, went to check in, opened my passport wallet to find it was empty. Oh the horror! Got a new flight out at the crack of dawn tomorrow but I'll have to pay for it myself. Yet every time I try to chastise myself the baby tickles my tummy and I go all goofy. I miss my brain...

ermintrude how was your lunch with the quiet man?

DH didn't get to see K born...long story but I thought they'd manage to stop my contractions..obviously not. So he saw nothing of her being born. In fact the first time he saw her she was being pushed up the corridor in a mobile incubator covered in wires

I don't recall screaming on any of mine unless you count screaming at my ExH to f**k off and get out of my sight...and more stuff along those lines Mind you he was sat there reading the paper and watching The Hitman and Her (those under 30 will have no idea what that means), while I was in agony, squatting in a corner.

peachy VBAC is vaginal birth after caesarean. They are reticent about allowing these sometimes as they reckon the old CS scar can give and haemorrhage can occur.

I've not bought any books myself but if I don't know it by my 4th then I should really hang my head in shame. Babies rarely go by textbooks though so don't worry if by 6 months yours isn't ticking all the boxes

hehe @ baby brain and forgetting the passport. OOOOPs!

Lunch was fine thanks JW - he wanted to talk about writing and agents and stuff, so was actually more verbose than usual, and quite funny. Lots of slagging of J Myerson went on. It was only a roasted veg and mozzarella ciabatta, but it was in the Outside World . The first time we met he'd suggested a cafe in central Nottingham and as soon as I walked in I could smell it was a lentil-knitting type of place. So when he asked what I wanted to eat, I naturally - jokingly - asked him if they did a BLT. At which he looked terribly embarrassed and started spluttering apologetically about it being a veggie place. My attempt at humour completely backfired so I have to be v careful what I say.

DH has told DC that they can't be at the birth 'because mummy swore a lot when she had you'. But it was only for 15 mins/2 mins respectively, those being the lengths of their second stages. Wonder if this one will shoot out in 10 secs taking what's left of my pelvic floor with it

peachy how awful. But you don't sound too distraught about it - nappy brain has its advantages

Ermintrude I know! How can I not be bothered when I do something so monumentally stupid yet cry inconsolably if I stub my toe?

My DP asked soon after we met if he could please wait outside the delivery room if we had a baby. He's got a 'thing' about biological matters. When I had my 6 week scan (transvaginal) he was frozen solid and the nurse had to physically move him up from the business end to my head. I remember he was also clutching a book called 'Functions, Logic and Sets' like it was going to save him! Bless.

Hedgepig my bike has been gathering dust for nearly two years - before that I used to cycle everywhere. Good on you!

peachy buy him a rubiks cube for when you're in labour. Might keep him occupied for a couple of minutes.

ermintrude you're a meany asking for BLT! I like

I wouldn't want my kids anywhere near me giving birth. I can just imagine the jokes for evermore. And knowing them, there'd be a detailed pic of my fanjo straight onto Facebook for the world to see

Evening. Sick News: Well, DP is really poorly; hot sweats, vomit, the shakes Hahahah, it's probably the menopause! ermintrude I think I'll put a ban on sickness in this house.....definately not allowed, not to be triffled with!
Oh I'm feel quite queasy at the thought of your insides exiting with the baby!!

peachy I know - baby brain is indeed a strange thing. Now, your DP sounds a little like mine. When I was in the throws of labour with DD1, DP was sat in the corner reading a HUGE weighty tome entitled "The Practice of Obstetrics 1904"....... Yes, his elderly friend decided it may make interesting reading Well, I can tell you it was bugger all use when, at 6cm dilated, we had to cut to an emergency CSection, as there was nowt in there about a spinal

I never got to do the screaming. That happened when the 3-day post baby blues came and smacked me in the face and I took it out on DP Why do they never tell you about that?! I was hormonal bitch from hell!

So, it's a repeat of Location and a new Grand Designs at 9pm - or, share a bed with a very sweaty, hairy bloke. OOooooo, the temptation....

I spared my OH the business end more for my sake than his tbh. He would have been happy to attend the mucky end. But I had read some of the stuff that's been knocking about recently about it being more traumatic for the bloke than had been previously realised and that a lot of them feel under pressure to be there but that it can affect them and how they view their partner sexually afterwards. It's one of those unspoken things but I have had conversations with men who were horrified by seeing childbirth my DS1's father being one of them.

I'm not suggesting that the poor darlings should be spared the full horror or anything and it might seem a bit old fashioned but I am glad I did it. Not that it mattered in the end - there was a green sheet betwixt us and the ventouse delivery but even when I was being wheeled around theatre and having the spinal block, exhausted and throwing up I was still issuing orders about where he could and couldn't sit.

JJ are you sure that your OH doesn't need to see a doc? It's been a couple of days now hasn't it? Or praps he's at the tail end of it if he's sweating it out. My DD#1 had the sweats and the shakes when she was in the throws of this D&V bug. She said she thought she was dying which sounds a tad melodramatic to me, but she assured me that is was so awful she was ready for going to hospital. She was on the mend the day after but was weak for a few days. Tea and sympathy might be needed.

When's your aunt's funeral? Surely it must be soon?

DH missed out on both of his children being born. K's you know about but DSS's was a similar event as he was a 29 weeker and DH was at work when he was born. Although I do recall that when I was in labour he kept on asking me if I'd like a cup of tea. Really bugged the hell outta me. Plus we had DSS in the room with us and so my labour was ultra quiet so I wouldn't upset him.

I'm Virgin + Grand Designs and watching David Attenborough on Beeb 1. Very nice it is too. Children in bed and DH out playing bridge. Think it might be an early night.

that effing Grand Designs is a repeat isn't it? the bloody cheek of it!