40 + mums with baby tums & those who've already 'popped' with muffin tops - come say Hi!

[jeanjeannie]

Yet ANOTHER thread. Like it says - those of you who've waved bye bye to 39 come and say Hi to us instead.

We think that 40 is the new 20, cyber cake is the new weight-watchers and older mums rock

So, if you fit that description come and play with us. We like cake, gossip an occasional luke warm debate and a good moan! Oh and we're also very friendly and supportive!

OK everyone.....take it away x

I am not that sue happy JW in reality! It was mostly hyperbole.

I do worry about those young first time mums who are listening to all this bad advice. And people wonder why breast feeding numbers are so low.

And if I got really bad advice from one? I would probably talk to her supervisor about getting her better educated or whatever.

Tee see I think that's what really frustrates me - the fact that lots of young first time mums hear a HV say they must start weaning by 3 mos and frantically follow it even if their baby isn't ready. I know that when DD(22yrs) had her baby, it spent a week in NICU, and she really had a horrible time because they kept giving the baby formula, even though she had insisted numerous times that she wanted to breastfeed and didn't want him having formula. And when she asked for medical information or explanations of terms they were using when speaking to her about her baby, they wouldn't clarify things to her. DH & I had to go in and speak to the head midwife (whatever her official title was) there and insist that they start treating her appropriately. I was a bit vocal, I'll admit, but it made all the difference in the world. I honestly think they treated her that way because she was young and wasn't comfortable insisting on things or standing up for herself (or questioning things).

Good grief Triggles! At 22?? What do they consider an appropriate age for a woman to have a baby then? I mean, if she'd been 13, I might understand their reluctance to trust her mothering instincts, but really...

That's my issue with it triggles. No one should have to fight to be heard by their health care professionals, but sometimes you have to!

So many women on MN (and I don't mean here on this thread, I mean in other threads) seem to have horrible birthing experience and yet never make a complaint. Nothing will change if no one complains.

DD has a (potentially fatal) medical condition with anaesthetics that meant she was required to have an epidural during delivery. The midwife insisted she could get through it without the epidural, but DD kept protesting that this was the decision of the consultant along with the anaesthesiologist and was not up for discussion, but the midwife would not listen. I was with DD for the birth, so I finally point blank told the midwife "Get the anaesthesiologist on the phone NOW - he wanted to know IMMEDIATELY when she was in labour!" He came to her delivery room immediately when she called him and was very cross at the midwife when we explained what happened. He yelled at her in the hallway outside the room, but we still heard it. The words "endangering a patient" and "try listening when people tell you something" were heard loud and clear. He had a different midwife take over, which was a relief at that point.

God, no wonder DD doesn't want to have any more kids!

Morning

jj not sure whats worse, your milk turing up in the afternoon or our milkman turning up at 4:30am, not a problem in the days of electric milk carts but not so good now he drives a diesel van

I have a very good HV like jw said she knows these are numbers 4 & 5 and is always commenting on how contended they are and how well and happy I am, I can ask for her advice on pretty much anything and that is what she will give me, advice, always adding that everything depends on individual circumstances. I'm the kind of person that responds to good discussion of options rather than being told what I should and shouldn't do and I think thats the key for me

Like triggles daughter, I had a dismal time in hospital after the birth and unfortunately it isn't until you stand up for yourself that you get treated differently, unfortunately the phrase he who shouts loudest can be very true, mind you the upside of that is that I have been visited and am being informed of how my situation is now being put forward to help improve the way these things are dealt with in future

Just me going to tuning in to desperate housewives tonight then

That's excellent mum41 that things are changing due to your complaint. If more people complained when things are not done the way they should be then things will change.

ermintrude are you Samantha?

I actually have the ticker tape too - it's a throw back from the good old days in newspapers....I sat next to the old-fashioned ticker-tape machine that used to whirr into action about every 20 mins. Hahaha I'm that old I remember when the Daily Mirror had typewriters [shocker]

Oh lordy - Iris is going nuts upstairs - see you all later.

ermintrude no it wasn't the one where Sandi goes bonkers. This was a few years ago now. Sadly they edited out some fab jokes by Humph when I listened to it the week after on the radio. He was a very cheeky chappy indeed

JJ I learned to type on a manual typewriter back in the good old days. Ah the days of Tippex (bottle and strip) and having to correct all your copies nestled between sheets of carbon paper that made your fingers go black (went well with the white from the Tippex strips).

Glad I'm not alone with having the Beeb ticker going at the top of the screen

Had a different experience altogether on NICU and was actively encouraged to hand express a couple of hours after delivery. Absolutely no problems with giving her my milk.

I think HV's are just like any other people in jobs...you meet good and bad ones. Unfortunately.

In my first proper, non-temping job after uni I was particularly excited about using the Telex machine for international messages. Faxes were a bit ropey in those days. I had an IBM printer with a nice font (everyone else had those Amstrad printers that sounded like machine guns) so people used to get me to write their job applications and CVs. I didn't mind the work because it meant I knew everything that was going on . Now they'd all be pc-literate and could email their own applications. Sigh.

tee Mumsnet is great but one of the problems with it is that you do get to only hear the more extreme side of people's experiences with HV's, midwives etc. Nobody bothers to post on how brilliant their HV is. I've always had 'reasonable' health visitors. I had one visit after Elizabeth was born then the next contact was when we were worried about her lack of speech and possible hearing problems at 17 months. The HV was really on the ball and sorted out the referral then kept in touch by phone to make sure all was going well. My experiences with HVs after having the other kids was similar and I seem to have been mostly left alone to get on with it, which suits me fine.

jeanjeannie keep meaning to say that I'm impressed that you contributed to Popbitch. I subscribed to it in the early days and always looked forward to it arriving in my inbox. Don't get it anymore as I probably wouldn't get some of the references. My big kids tell me that Holy Moly is good.

We went to the Talking Tots group this morning and it was great. E loved it and there were 3 little girls very close to her age which we don't have at our deaf playgroup. The school where it's held is 'deaf friendly' which means that there is a hearing impaired unit but the deaf kids are in classes with the other kids and just spend a bit of each day in the unit for speech therapy etc. 3 children from the nursery class were brought in to join in the group then went back to class afterwards. We're hoping E will be okay to attend our local school but if she's struggling then I think this school would be a really good place for her to go and it's only 10 mins away by car.

Thanks to everybody that suggested tips for my acid reflux. I cut out most wheat yesterday and had a much better day. Though I couldn't resist having a couple of pancakes early evening as I was cooking them for everybody else but they didn't seem to do any harm. Can't remember who mentioned Gaviscon Advanced but it didn't work for me which is why I was prescribed Ranitidine.

ermintrude we're never without a jar of Nutella in this house as about once a month, pregnant or not, I have a craving for it and have it on toast for my breakfast.

jw how did the Jade wedding photos look in OK?

mrsb her dress was actually very nice. She looked nice - make up and she'd had her teeth whitened. Apart from the loss of hair and the big patch on her upper arm for her medication, I wouldn't have known she was ill.

I'm off to hair dressers 9am tomorrow for ridding of grey - sorry, I couldn't stand it any longer! So looking forward to this as it was cancelled couple of weeks back and I was really looking forward to it. I'll post pics of my hair stylie tomorrow.

OOoh and DH is having to take K to school tomorrow as I'll be out and it will be the first time in the school playground with all those mums wanting to see her....I've issued a list of things NOT to let people do (no touching her, no opening the rain cover etc). He says he's going to do a sign to put on the hood reading 'do not feed the animal'. Nice

JW I hope you gave DH a little smack behind his head for that one!

ladym I kind of figured that. I was speaking to annoying co-worker about her HV and she said hers is lovely.

Oh dear, just begining to be a little more open and enjoy participating in conversation on here (what with all you hear about the internet etc) and then today I went for my usual peek at AIBU and there was one about a mum concerned about co-sleeping with her DS & DP but it turns out it wasn't her posting at all it was the EX who had heard from the son that this was going on so unfortunantely its all made me a little weary again and maybe I was right to have my guard up

Mind you, the way some of the posts on here refer to DH's and DP's I certainly would be shocked if you turned out to be fellas

ladymac I agree, like I said earlier I'm pretty lucky with my HV too

mum41 I usually steer clear of the 'chat' and 'AIBU' threads as they're often very aggressive or cliquey! Oh and education brings out the worst in folks too! I like the 'names' thread as it makes me laugh or the 'DIY/Property' one - as it's something we know a bit about here at JJ towers! Thing with the internet is you're often not sure who's for 'real' or a troll....*tripp trapp, tripp trapp!!!! We, I hasten to add, are real - I've even met Kaz67 - so you're OK with us

JW I've an image of your DH fighting off the cooing parental hoards with a mega phone...stand back ladies, there's nothing to see!

ladymac that's great that the Talking Tots group was good AND others Elizabeth's age Like you say - it bodes well for the future should the local school not be right for her.

The girls have been in shouty meltdown - until the dumper truck arrived with its load - that was very exciting and now it's gone - and, late in the afternoon - Iris has taken to her bed That'll prove fun around dinner time!

JJ you know him so well. That's exactly what he's like!

Oh exciting dumper truck! Was Iris' nose pressed firmly up to the glass? Awwwww.

mum42 we're all too busy to go trolling on this thread. I don't really see the point in it myself.

ladymac glad to hear the E is doing fantastically. Leaps and bounds and told you so's all round

I'm very pleased that I am not in the chav minority re the Nutella incident last night. There's closet nutella fans aplenty on this thread. Huzzah! Shall we have a toast? I'll just run and get the Sunny D..........

I didn't even realise that Nutella had chavvy connotations - is it not quite expensive?

mrsb Nutella is just one of those products that's advertised as though you couldn't get a healthier breakfast for your DC and of which the main ingredient is, of course, sugar. Now, if you're talking Waitrose own brand French-set fruit preserve that's fine to consist mostly of sugar, but if it's a delicious confection of choc and nuts made by a multi-national company it is inevitably Common

60 inch flat screen TVs aren't cheap either...

PS JJ zounds, my identity is blown, I am indeed Samantha, the silent queen of double entendre.

She must be about 60 by now!

She?????? hahahahaha....................ok

Ermintrude you are a medical miracle have a baby in your 60's

I had never even heard of nutella until I left home and went to the big smoke & in those days it was very expensive I recall MrsB. My DH (not me of course ) favours Green & Blacks Choc Hazelnut spread which is twice the price.

Tee to add my pennysworth on HVs I have found mine very supportive in particular the one I had with Ben who spotted my PND even though I was in denial and she came to see me for about 6 months after he was born until we were on the right track. Unfortunately, like in any area of work you have some who are fantastic at their job and some who maybe should be doing something else.

JW are you confusing the lovely Samantha with her occasionaly stand-in Sven?

Oh God, I hate Nutella.....so gross. I just can't get my head around chocolate and bread.
I mean, would you spread a ferrero roche all over a piece of toast....

Oh no ermintrude Samantha will never be 60!

Finally all off to bed and now it's bums on seats for location, location, location - where Phil & Kirsty try to look interested as couples pretend to buy a house in a dead market. Followed by Kevin McCloud in his search for posh people building a house with integrity