Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

LittlePolly I had an ERPC after my MMC.It had taken nearly a year to conceive.I waited one natural cycle to let the hormones settle b4 trying again & got pregnant straight away.The next 2 babies took 9/10 months to conceive so I reckon I was extra fertile straight afterwards.

Oh you lot are wonderful. Thanks for coming back so quickly to my question Ses, Wheely, Scarlotti and mumface. Bless you, you've made me cry (not that it takes much at the moment )

I think I'm edging towards going for the ERPC again. I thought I would be ok with waiting for things to take their course, but I'm feeling really ill with the whole thing and just want to get back to normal. Feel like a bit of a prisoner in my own home too.
Also, I think DH is really feeling the strain. He's been brilliant but I think he needs to be able to get back to work now and not worry about whether I'm ok the whole time.

Scarlotti I've got my fingers so tightly crossed for you with this one. Look after yourself.

xxxx

littlepolly sorry you are going through this. Life just ain't fair. On a positive note and to reply to your question about EPRCs earlier in the thread, I've had two EPRCs following spontaneous mcs ( had to have the EPRC to remove the remaining products - what an awful phrase) and with both of them, I conceieved quickly afterwards. The first, was pg within 3 months and DS arrived a year and 3 weeks after the EPRC. With the second, well, I am now 31+5 so things are certainly looking promising. I conceived after one cycle following the EPRC, so I have to say that EPRCs seemed to have done the trick here.

I hope things settle down soon for you. Take it easy.

Thank you ladyhelen So sorry you have had to go through this twice too. No it's just not fair, but all these success stories do give me hope. I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

LittlePolly you sound in just the same place as I was last December. The turning point for me was when I caught sight of my reflection and realised I still looked and felt pregnant. All I wanted at that point then was for it to be over and allow me to start to move on. Once I'd had the ERPC I knew the physical bit was over and it was then time for the emotional bit (and hormonal bit) to start.
Part of the pain before is not knowing if/when things will start to happen, so when you start to feel able to deal with things you're still in a state of flux.
I am thinking of you sweetie, and hoping that things can start to move forward for you now.
You are more fertile after being pg, whether you go full term or not, so hang on to that piece of info. Take your time over the next month and be kind to yourself - before you know it you'll be back on here fretting with the rest of us x

Littlepolly just wanted to add my experience into the mix. I had an erpc afte my first mc (mmc) I really didn't want to let things happen naturally, figured I'd been through enough without having to actually 'see' it and experience the pain. Plus my mw told me I was likely to be more fertile/ready to conceive soon after an erpc than if I let things happen naurally. We waited one cycle and then I fell pg the next cycle.

So far as the op itself was concerned, I was lucky. I didn't feel at all unwell afterwards, just a bit sleepy. I was under 'under' for just over 10 minutes so although it was a GA the amount they give you is very small. The bleeding lasted about 7-10 days but wasn't heavy and I didn't really need any painkillers.

For me the waiting would have been unbearable, but it's a very individual decision. Hope you're able to do whatever's best for you. xx

Will be back later to catch up properly

Hi ladies,

Just a very quick post from me for now.

Scan this morning at 5+6 didn't show a lot - we saw a sac and yolk sac but sonographer thought things were looking a little 'early' and kept asking me if I was sure of my dates. Have to go back in two weeks to be re-scanned. Not sure if I can wait that long to find out....

LittlePolly,

I've been lurking here for a few weeks but having experienced a mmc in 2007 I just wanted to express my sympathy for what you are going through and add some reassurance as the other ladies have done.

I was 40 when I had a mmc at 9w5d and I opted for a medically managed miscarriage rather than an ERPC. In retrospect I would have chosen the ERPC as I found the physical miscarriage process extremely distressing and I think it took me a long time to recover psychologically. It has taken me 16 months to fall pregnant again, but I'm currently 7w5d (and keeping everything crossed that it sticks!) so please don't worry unduly about the age side of things - just go with whichever option you feel most comfortable with.

HerNameWasLola and Florey thank you both so much for adding your experiences. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories with me today ? it's so kind of you and has helped me make up my mind. I'm going to sleep on it, but I'm almost definitely decided on an ERPC which I can hopefully get sorted out for next week.

Florey You've given me real hope that I'm not too old to go forward from this and try again. Sending you lots of good wishes that this little one stays put for you.

Sparkly Poor you, you must be so worried now. 5+6 is really early tho, so don't give up hope. I will keep my fingers crossed for a better picture for you in a fortnight, and in the meantime look after yourself.

Love to everyone else.
xxxx

Hi everyone, haven't posted for ages but am 10+2 so fingers crossed that everything is ok so far.

Have been feeling awful this week, vomiting and the 'other end' (can never spell it!), but felt more like a tummy bug than pregnancy-related.

I have a scan on the 18th and feel sick at the thought of it, I am pretty much expecting everything not to be ok, for no good reason than my own horrid 'worse case scenario' imagination. I don't remember feeling like this at all with my pregnancy before my mc - I just blissfully assumed everything was fine.

polly sorry to hear about your mmc - good luck with whatever you decide

Littlepolly I'm thinking of you in everything you're going through at the moment. You must do what is right for you but I agree with others who have mentioned how traumatic a medically managed miscarriage can be, be kind to yourself whatever you decide.

Sparkly please don't worry at all about your scan - a gestational and yolk sac in the right place is good news for 5+6 weeks, and sometimes I think sonographers are unaware of their power to strike the fear of god into our hearts! So much changes day to day at this early stage it's really hard to say for sure whether you're 'too small' or whatever. Take comfort in the fact that everything was there that should be and in the right place. I had a scan at 5+6 that showed exactly the same thing, then after a heavy bleed (convinced I had lost it) had another scan at 8+3 and there was mini-monkey's heart beating away. Try and think positive.

Talking of positive - I had my dreaded nuchal scan yesterday afternoon and everything was perfect! I was so nervous in the morning I was crying and wailing like a banshee, by the time I got to the hospital I was convinced I'd had a MMC. But no, this time I'm lucky, and there was our baby dancing around, doing back-flips and giving us a little wave! Obviously a monster show-off already

Most importantly (I'm 37) my trisomy results from the scan and blood tests were great, so that's one hurdle over with. They're still classing me as a 'high risk' pregnancy but I'm trying not to dwell on that too much, now just basking in the lovely glow of a good scan and trying not to focus too much on the next one. That will be the big one for me, a fetal heart scan at 18 weeks.

But for now, as someone who has had 2 MCs at 5/6 weeks and lost a baby to a heart defect at 24 weeks, I'm just thrilled to have seen an active (hopefully) healthy baby on that screen

Littlepolly glad you've been able to make your mind up. I had an erpc in Dec and have just got my bfp 3 months later. I hope you feel physically normal again soon.

Just thought I'd ask the experts - do you recommend taking baby aspirin or anything else for a pg after mmc? My gut feeling is not to since DD managed fine without and I'm pretty sure the mcs I've had must have been chromosomal abnormalities which affected development - just bad luck.

Any thoughts?

Hobnob, my recurrent miscarriage consultant said not to bother with baby aspirin as I didn't have the sticky blood thing but she also said that if I wanted to, it would do no harm. I've had 5 mcs and took it with 2 (I think) but took it with DS and not bothered with this pg. So no idea if it had any impact but I suspect not.

Sydneysuze, pleased to hear that your nuchal went well.

sydneysuze - so glad to hear your scan went well and fingers crossed for the next one. Take each hurdle at a time.

hobnob i haven't been taking any baby aspirin or anything. Never did with my other two and like you, i'm sure that the 2 m/c's were chromosomal abnormalities.

robberbutton - keeping everything crossed for your scan on the 18th

Hi all

Haven't posted so much as always so blooming busy, but I do try to keep up.

LittlePolly I am glad the advice here helped you make up your mind. Last year I had an MMC and was booked in for an ERPC, but I miscarried naturally in the week prior to the appointment. It was 'incomplete' and I had to wait for the rest to come out, I went for acupuncture rather than a medical procedure as by that stage I was totally off the medical management idea. However, it ended up being a very long winded process and I should have just got it over and done with and had an ERPC. I'm currently 9w, and if this pregnancy fails I will defnitely have the procedure.

Am in that horrible limbo stage of waiting for a scan right now. I just wish I could start getting excited, but I actually feel rather depressed. I mighr book an early reassurance scan next week. Sod the cost.

Good luck to those who are about to pop! Really looking forward to your birth stories.
xx

Mind if I join..? I had a missed miscarriage at ten weeks (embryo stopped at six and half) with an ERPC. That was at the New Year, and I'm now five weeks pregnant again, and terrified that this one will die in a week or two, and I'll then be stuck carrying around a dead embryo for weeks again. The thought of it still just makes me want to curl up, but the doc says I can't have a scan until twelve weeks.

I do have a one year old, so you think I'd be able to get a grip and cheer up a bit, but apparently not.

hackneybird hang in there and know you're not alone in the long wait for a scan. Understand how you feel about the private option, small cost to save your sanity I think.

Tamlin welcome although sorry to hear about your loss. My last m/c was the same as yours, at 10 weeks but embryo has stopped a few weeks earlier.
Why has your doc not allowed an early scan? Do you have an EPU nearby? If so, you could always ring them and ask for a scan - I think I'd be tempted to wait until around the 7-8 week mark then say I'd had some spotting if that was the only way to get one. Know it's dishonest but the wait is the hardest thing ever.

Hi ladies,
Have been really busy with work this weekend which has taken my mind off pregnancy and worrying about the scan results. I think the next 2 weeks will be pretty busy for me so hopefully the time will pass quickly and without any complications - we'll see..
Tamlin Sorry to hear about your m/c. You'll be in good company here. Am sending you lots and lots of sticky and positive vibes.
Hackney I know how you feel in that limbo stage. Let's hope the time flies.
Hobnob A friend of mine recommended baby asprin but I've still not looked into it.
Sydneysuz Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I'm trying to remain positive and am hoping it might have just been due to late implantation - I think (but can't be sure) that the sac measured 14mm - this doesn't sound that small to me..but I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.
Robber Good luck for your scan.
LittlePolly Thanks for the kind words.

Hello and best wishes to everyone else xx

Tamlin welcome, hope you have a long stay. Just because you already have a one year old doesn't mean you should "get a grip" - it's such a pressure to put on yourself while you're grieving. You are allowed to feel sad about the baby you have lost, regardless of how many children you have or may have in the future. I've said it before, but MC is the only type of grief where people think it's a comforting thing to say "Well at least you have your other dc" we would never think it was ok to say to someone who had lost their brother "Well, at least you must take comfort in the fact that you've got other siblings". It took me so long to accept this and really slowed down my grieving process: It was almost a year later (took years to conceive again) when I realised that I wasn't trying for a baby, I was trying to bring back that baby. I appreciate that it is different for everyone, but don't put needless pressure on yourself. You are allowed to feel sad, you really are.

Littlepolly hope you manage to make a decision that you are comfortable with, thinking of you.

Robber that is exactly how I felt about my first scan. It was a case of when it goes wrong, not if it goes wrong. It's horrible not to be able to just enjoy it. I hope you're scan goes well, got my fingers crossed for you.

extremelychocolatey still thinking of you too.

And everyone else.

Wheely any news?

Things are ok here. H been gone a week and it is all a lot calmer: I actually feel like a different person. Not being his emotional punchbag and having to deal with all his problems is a relief. I hadn't realised just how much they were weighing me down. I was literally hiding in my own house a lot of the time (which is silly since he was actively avoiding me anyway). I feel a lot more peaceful and ready for this little one to arrive. 7 weeks to go!

You do sound a little better Crunch and I really hope the next few weeks remain as calm for you. You deserve a bit of stress free time, and time to look forward to the new baby.

37 + 4 here. Couldn't ever imagine in the early days getting this far! Mind you, I'm really struggling to imagine what life is about to get like too...

grinningbee seems like we have long list of "waiting to pop" ladies on here at the moment. Very exciting

Hello all ! Still here and baby still in situ. Saw MW on friday and baby is head down and was 2/5th engaged - hoorah ! So that at least means they should give me a sweep on friday which is my DUE DATE . A very strange feeling as dd was evicted early at 37 weeks so didn't have this thumb twiddling (its better this way I know but quite furstrating !).

Welcome Florey and Tamlin - hope time for everyone waiting for scans goes swiftly.

Crunch - glad things are more relaxed for you.

Waves at everyone else .

grinningbee - it'll be fine, life will be different but fine (once you're through those first few months of sleeplessness of course). I kind of know how you're feeling - I know I have been there before but it was 4 years ago and part of me is quite scared about going back to disturbed nights, nappies, feeds etc.

grinningbee - it'll be fine, life will be different but fine (once you're through those first few months of sleeplessness of course). I kind of know how you're feeling - I know I have been there before but it was 4 years ago and part of me is quite scared about going back to disturbed nights, nappies, feeds etc.

Sorry just need a really quick rant

So, have just realised that H's mobile doesn't work where he is staying (something I am sure he is aware of) so had anything gone horribly wrong I would have absolutely no way of contacting him due to his having avoided leaving me with any contact numbers and I don't know the address.

He also called to say his car wouldn't start so I would have to get the children (with 5 minutes warning), when I suspect that he actually just left work late - since the car is now miraculously fine: He has the dcs every afternoon after school and nursery, lucky I didn't have plans and could drop everything to run there.

That's it really. My contented calm has been temporarily smashed

Well, I now have the place to myself until 6 so I think I'll go and have a bath.

Rant over to in 5 minutes flat. I hate that he can get under my skin so easily.