Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

Following that hijack (!), I'm booked into the Homerton, and hear vastly varying stories. I have also heard that Whipps Cross, my nearest hospital, has a new midwife-led birth centre, all whale music and birthing balls, which is - shock horror - actually quite good! The rest of Whipps is of course a horror.

Thanks for replying sifuentes and herbaceous.

I am booked into Homerton and will see how it goes - although I hear UCH has a spanking new maternity ward, so if I make it as far as a scan and confirmation that this pregnancy is viable (always 'if'!) I may go and have a look around.

I have also heard vastly varying stories about both hospitals, and as you say, antenatal care in London is very stretched so maybe the poor treatment I have received so far is par for the course.

Crunch, I am thinking of you. I hope your DH does manage to work at his issues and returns home. Do you have anyone else who can be with you and support you during the coming weeks?

HB
xx

Hi girls!! my goodness... we're all over the place.. Thanks for sharing your birthing stories Bunny and Dan as i've said so many times before, your success stories really keep me going.. and keep me positive.

I am off for my scan at 4.15 today.. started my water drinking.. It feels completely different to my other scans purely because its NHS hospital scan and my others have all been private... I am terrified about going to the hospital since we were told about m/c number 1 at hospital last time.. anyway.. I am 15 weeks pregnant tomorrow and have seen baby 4 times with strong heartbeat so i am telling myself i'll be fine.

Wheelybug congrats on being top of the list.. I cant wait until 20 weeks when i feel I'll be feeling okay and positive enough to be on the list

Welcome Hob i wish you a long and happy stay with us

Sazstar good luck with scan tomorrow..

and hi to everyone else - with regards to when/who to tell.. we told partners dad before we went off on hol with him as i thought he might find it a bit strange not drinking on New years eve.. then both mum's when we got back at 7 weeks then everyone else just before 12 weeks when we finally both began to realise it could really be happening.. everyone is sooo supportive, I think it was hard for me thinking 'i hope we dont have to tell them its over'.. silly i know! Anyway hope you all enjoy the rest of your monday, I will be back on first thing to let you all know about scan and hopefully celebrate being 15 WEEKS PREGNANT!!! xxx

Thanks Hackney. I have friends at the end of the phone, but no one within a couple of hundred miles to really lean on.

We'll get by. Don't think it's really sunk in yet

MW appointment today went fine. Baby is doing well, 32 weeks now, and I'll have a scan around 37 weeks to check all is well.

I still want to go ahead with a home waterbirth, but I don't know who will be with me. Might just be me and the MWs.

Too much to think about really.

crunch so sorry to hear about you and h - poor you - find a sympathetic friend to be your birthing partner, if you an - mw's are good but its a nice thing to share too....

Thanks for all the well wishing . Am half dreading and half looking forward tomorrow. Really have no idea if things will be ok though although am still feeling pretty nauseous allday, puked acid bile this morning and had to leave my desk to have a good retch at about half four this afternoon. Never know though which is why this whole thing is so hard.

Lola, I will be 8 weeks and 3 days (hopefully). I had a mmc in Nov which seems really a cruel thing as had no real signs that things had gone wrong at the 6 and a half week point so went all the way to 12 weeks before finding things had stopped.

Scarlotti, I have told mum's, dad's & sisters again this time, but also told a lady at work who guessed about the miscarriage last time (she had also had a couple so she spotted me and asked me directly which was good because then I had someone to talk to - only my boss at work knew apart from that last time). Still wonder whether my staff thought I had a breakdown or something as was off for 2 wks and never explained - hey ho never mind

Ashleigh, hope the scan went well today. Just hoping I will get and NHS scan at 12 weeks again - couldn't stand waiting to 15!

Lola, thanks for the advice on the furniture polish! I bet there is someone out there who has used it as moisturiser hence the warnings

Dan, Am also a big Bill Bailey fan and will take the tip on laughing bub out if I get so far - Always have tears streaming down my face when I watch his DVDs

Anyway will hopefully be able to stick around on here after tomorrow

Speak again soon

S

Hi Dan - sorry to hear you are still not enjoying BF. It hurt me, but I did enjoy it very much nevertheless. Hmm. Maybe expressing will be a good compromise for you. Don't know when you can start giving her a bottle, but I think we started at 5 weeks to get DS to accept the bottle in addition to the breast. If you wait too long then there is a big change that he'll reject the bottle altogether. Thanks for our birth story. Yes, often we don't get the births we hope for, but as long as we are involved in the decision we just get on. (Was the same for me - really not what I had hoped for. Took me a while to get to terms with it.)

I should be 9 weeks today, but haven't had a scan since 6+4, so everythings's possible. It's the MMC curse, you can never be sure. My next scan will be in 2.6 weeks, a nuchal, so somehow try to make it through until then.

Congrats to the new BFPs. Is such a stressful time! Come and share - it's the only thing that helps a little!

Congratulations Bunny. Well done and lost of strength during these days where day and night flow together.

Apologies for a quick and me-me-me based post, but need some reassurance. Have been feeling a bit rubbish, nothing extraordinary or, frankly, unusual atm, but turns out I have an upset tummy.... Can someone please tell me this isn't a sure sign of something hideous happening with bub? Having thought about it quite carefully, have concluded that I don't really feel sick or achy or have any abdominal pain, although still a bit rubbish generally...

So what do you think? WISH next scan was sooner than next monday, but think just hearing the hb would make me feel a lot better, it has after all been 11 whole days since I last heard it Don't know whether to try to see someone to have another listen tomorrow, I know the mw said to go whenever I wanted, but she probably didn't mean once a week! Plus work is a bit of a bastard atm. Nothing very complicated so far, but am picking cases up at the last minute and having to hold it all together. Can't help thinking that sooner or later I'll come unstuck...

Saz keeping everything crossed for good news for you tomorrow xx

YKNOTC so sorry to hear what you're going through atm Is there no chance of H being present at the birth?

Dan am sooooo impressed that you're posting normally already! I can't imagine what clothes would fit post birth, has your tummy gone down quite quickly? Presumably you need clothes that are a sort of in between size, bit like where I am now at 14 weeks! Can't help with bf help sorry, but I'll be keeping an eye on the wise advice you'll undoubtedly get in case I should ever be lucky enough to need it!

Hackney can totally understand what you mean about wanting someone just to hold your hand and tell you what to do and where to go Hope they manage to make you feel a bit more supported soon.

Ashleigh how did it go today? Thinking of you xx

YKNOTC sorry to hear you're going thru this. Such a bad time for you when you need support too. I hope things work out.

ashleigh how did today go?

sazstar good luck for tomorrow

Congratulations bunny

Hi everyone else, I dont think ive posted for a good week or so but my mind is playing up with me.

I went to see my consultant today who gave me a sneaky reassurance scan, my baby was waving his/her arms at me. im 14 weeks tomorrow and the consultant said im now low risk, doesnt stop the occasional panic attacks tho....

Hi everyone.

Warmest congrats to bunny - you could've warned me I'd need the kleenex . Carys is a beautiful name and I hope you're taking things easy and spoiling your 2 DD's!!

ashleigh hope everything went well today?

yknotc I's so to hear things are still rubbish with DH, I really hope he sorts his issues out and can come home. You're going to be OK I'm sure, have you found a birth partner yet? Are you far from Scotland??

sazstar good luck tomorrow

dan they advise 6 wks to minimise the risk of nipple confusion and also cos it's better to establish your milk supply with babe actually feeding from you - the best stimulant! Don't worry about the faces, sometimes its cos its coming too fast or too slow, you're definately not poisoning her - don't take it personally, it will get better I promise xx. If she's a good wee feeder I wouldn't be too rigid about 6 wks, perhaps have a practice about 5. DD took a bottle no bother from DH when I had my first postnatal outing to an Ann Summers party (feeling like the least sexy woman there!!!). She only had a rare bottle the first 3-4 months and I didn't have much bother weaning her from the breast.

Thanks for the tip re trousers, I cleared my wardrobe to make space for maternity clothes - most of my trousers are under bump ones held up by belts so should see me through first couple of weeks.

Can't believe I'm 33 wks tomorrow! Still feels too good to be true, still knicker checking and sure baby is going to make my life hell in return for being poked and prodded in order for me to satisfy my craving for movements . I can't believe I'm heading up the list, I'm trying to be sensible and begin to prepare some baby stuff but it's just too scary . DH is home now and being a house husband during his terminal leave from the forces so am loving him at the moment (he cooks and cleans, I'm easily pleased!)

Oh p.s lola I meant to say, I've had an upset tummy on and off most of the way through this pg, which was freaking me out cos with DD it was constipation, the MW assured me it was nothing to worry about and fingers crossed it doesn't seem to have had an effect so far. I was taking anti heartburn stuff - was always wondering if it was relating to that.

Wow what a lot of varied experiences here . I hope that the good vibes reach us all this week, especially yknotc. I can't imagine what you must be going through - and pregnant too! I couldn't even deal with my DH wanting to see his friends and spend the night away so that he could get poleaxed when I was pg last time. Warm hugs to you.

I'm still waiting 'till Thursday for my official day late BFP, but still pretty sure that I'm pg. What have your experiences been after mmc? Do you wait the normal 7-8 weeks before booking in with mw or see GP asap?

And I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I'm already wondering about when to tell my boss. I teach and am HoD, so will be working out timetables for next year soon and I think she'd appreciate knowing in advance, but I don't want to be stuck with a crap timetable if it all goes to pot again.....

But as I said, I'm feeling positive this time. Perhaps it's because I was pg at a similar time of year last time and it's all a bit more familiar. Who knows?

Hello to all.

Thanks to all who've posted with advice on who to tell and when. We've decided on parents and siblings and will wait to tell anyone else until we're more secure and had at least one scan. Am sure my closest friend will guess but I'm happy for her to know. All our family are miles away so would be nice to have someone nearby.

yknotc - am sorry to hear of your situation. Do try and stay strong and focus on you and your baby for the forseeable, and hopefully everything else will fall back into place.

dan - if she's feeding well I'd not worry about dates for introducing a bottle. It is to do with nipple confusion, but girls are much quicker on the whole to take to bf - apparently boys are lazier?! If you want to introduce a bottle then it will also let dh be able to feed. My dh used to do the 9/10pm feed, which enabled me to go to bed earlier if I wanted and then meant I got a block of sleep up until the early morning feed. Just an option - it's no different to families where mum bf's and baby also has a dummy.

hobnob - I've booked a gp appt at 5 weeks, and am going to ask for an early scan. We had a m/c at 5 wks which happened naturally, then another at 10 wks which ended in an erpc. If you see your gp earlier and voice your concerns then hopefully you can get an early scan - that's what I'm hoping for. Waiting another 3 weeks for reassurance is one thing, another 8 weeks would be torture.

lal - fingers crossed for your scan, sounds like we're around the same sort of dates.

Crunch I'm so sorry to hear about what you're having to cope with especially having to think of labour without EXH. We're all here for you and are you sure there is no-one you can ask to be with you?

Hobnob I'm a teacher too and I had to tell my boss at week 6 as I had to rush off to the hospital with bleeding. As it happens it was a good thing to do as they have already reduced my teaching and tutorial load, and are letting me leave early and have loads of time to myself - mind you I work at a university so they can be more flexible. Plus it was only last August when I lost my baby at 24 weeks which they can all remember so I'm getting the kid gloves treatment in many ways.

Lola you always write such lovely things, thank you - the party was great despite my nodding off into my pavlova at 10pm . Not sure if anyone has guessed I'm pg yet I think I'm the size of a house but maybe most people are wary of asking me in case I just haven't lost the baby weight since last year . Agree with you about the cake possibilities tho - I seem to have swapped wine for dessert

Scarlotti as to telling people, we haven't told everyone yet by any means, but have told some close friends and family. I think it is important to have the support of people you can trust to be there through the extra anxiety we all feel (plus it explains a lot of mental behaviour on my part I hope...)

Ashleigh hope the scan went well today and Saz hope yours is good tomorrow.

Right, up past 9.30 which is a record for me at the moment. Off to bed for me!!

hello all,

congraulations on all the new arrivals - lovely news all around.

haven't read through the whole thread that I have missed so apologies to anyone who I have missed.

I had bad news last week. My post is under threat of redundancy - loads of us have to reapply for our jobs . Not quite sure yet how it will work with my maternity leave, as the decsion is due about a week after the baby is due! Have a meeting wiht the union rep later in the week...

On the plus side I am 29 weeks today and bump is growing bigger. I am sure I saw a hand or foot poking up the other day!

You are all so lovely, makes me all teary. H may well be there for the birth - but it does depend on how he behaves between now and then. We're a bit far from Scotland (North Yorks) .

I just want my lovely, kind, thoughtful DH back. I'm really beginning to wonder if a lot of his issues are actually to do with my pregnancy, he just doesn't seem to want the responsibility - which is stupid, he's a brilliant dad and loves his boys. I don't understand any of it Especially since we both still say we love each other.

Argh! This is supposed to be a support thread for getting through the stresses and scares of pregnancy, not marriage break-ups! Sorry everyone.

Just hope baby isn't too affected by all this. Every other measurement has been spot on for the week I am, but I'm now measuring 31 at 32 weeks. Hoping it's because she's a bit lower down, rather than small because of stress.

Sorry meant to say Cece are you on maternity leave yet? I believe that if you are then they have to offer you any available post, rather than you having to reapply along with everyone else. But if you're not I don't know if you get any preference. Hope it all works out for you. The last thing you need is more stress.

Hi all, just a quick post just to let you all know that the scan was fabulous!!! I must say that it was a very strange atmosphere especially when she was asking me if i bled in early pregnancy, highlighted a massive part on the screen and wrote in capitals 'BLEED RESOLVED' and started to talk to the lady in the room... but when other half asked she said that all looked fine and it was a strong healthy pregnancy.. I am feeling very nervous now.. however we're off to our little private clinic a week saturday for our sexing scan so i imagine i'll feel better then..

Youknownothing I am thinking of you, and I cant possibly imagine what it must be like... please feel free to vent your frustration/thoughts about anything.. I hope you get your supportive DH back soon..

I will be back on this afternoon to catch up properly I am sorry I am rubbish this morning.. Thank you all so much for thinking of me during/after the scan. Good luck for your scan today Salzstar

xx

Ash - so pleased all went well !

Crunch - so sorry this is all happening and don't worry about talking about it on this thread - we're all concerned for you. And also, don't worry about stress and baby size. My first pregnancy I had no real stress and dd didn't grow very well. This pregnancy my DH was in hospital from my week 13-16 and almost died and then was home until Jan and we didn't know if he'd get back to work (still don't know if he will be able to get back to his work properly) and this baby has grown ok so I really don't think they're effected by stress thankfully.
Fundal height measurement is so inaccurate as well - in my pregnancy with dd I measured spot on for FH all the way through and she was 4 lbs 9 oz at birth. This time I'm either spot on or slightly over and baby is normalish size - smaller than average if anything.

Big waves and hugs to everyone else - to those in those awful early stages, particular thoughts.

Right must dash - have a hair appointment so I look glam for the post birth photos - yeah right....

Congratulations ash that is fantastic news. Thanks for all the thoughts.

Wheely - thanks for the reassurances. IT's something I would never normally worry about (unless out by loads), but I hate to think that what's going on out here could be affecting little one in there. ds2 was 9lbs 4oz, so I'm expecting big rather than small. But if she is a girl then statistically they're more likely to be smaller anyway, aren't they?

Hope your hair looks fab. I must get myself booked in for some time in April - definitely need it

Any twinges yet? I need more good news to keep me going

Thinking of all of you lovely ladies.

Crunch - when I was pg with my dd I was in a dreadful relationship, abusive and the works, and had horrendous stress. DD is the most chilled of us all, and was a lovely baby so don't worry yourself. Also, the father left when dd was 6 wks (thankfully for us so I know it's not the same situation as your dh) and me and my dd got on just fine - broke, but happy, so hang in there.

ash - great news re the scan. You must be so relieved.

salzstar - fingers crossed for yours today too.

scarlotti thanks, good to hear reassurances. I do feel relief not to be carrying a double burden anymore, but also very lonely and frustrated at the injustice of it all. Baby and dcs are my priorities now.

Hi lovely ladies

Lola ? might it help you to get your own doppler? I found hb every time from 13 weeks and it saved my sanity. The downside of course is that it can make you feel worse if you can?t find the hb, so it?s a really personal thing, but just a thought?

Dan ? the midwife who did our antenatal classes said 3-4 weeks to establish bf and then expressing to bottle feed should be fine (but I?m sure if varies from baby to baby). This is what we?d like to do so DH can have a go and do some of the night feeds. Good for your for persevering - I know I'll be on here asking for your advice in a few weeks' time.

Crunch ? I?m probably a bit late with the reassurance now, as everyone else has had such useful things to say, but if it helps at all, I?m measuring 33 weeks now at 36 weeks ? I was 32 at 32, so I?m sure it?s just because baby has moved down, like you say. It?s really not an exact science, either, as Wheely says, so I?m sure you lo is floating around blissfully unaware of what is going on for you.

Ashleigh for your scan. I hope your confidence continues to grow as you go through your scans and progress in your pregnancy.

Just had mw appt and booked in for homebirth. Bo is three-fifths engaged ? very exciting...

xx

Had a scan this morning at 7 weeks plus 2 days and they couldn't detect a heartbeat nor could they see the yolk sac. Sizing a little small too so not a great sign. HCG levels quite high at 6,540 so another blood test booked for Thursday to see if HCG levels rising. Has anyone had a similarly gloomy prognosis at this stage and then had a positive outcome? TIA