The sequel - Fab, Sparkly & often Moany 40 + : Preggie or New Mums - come say Hi!

[jeanjeannie]

We've now filled up the last thread - and the two before that! Seems that there are a lot of us old girls out there getting ourselves into trouble

So - if you've just found yourself to be with child or have a LO and you've hit (or about to hit - we'll let you sneak in just under the radar!)the big 4 0, then come say Hi!

There is always a spare comfy chair - plenty of cake and many old ladies to listen to your moans! Think of the lovely ladies knitting shreddies - only we're not sporting a blue rinse, but wearing cashmere and kitten heels

Hello regular ladies. I avoided putting FAT, F*cked or Knackered in the title - tempting as it was

JJ do we have to wait until 2? That's a whole 19 minutes away!!!

JJ it sounds like your FIL is unlikely to be a man to have a chat about DM gossip with.
I must check my diary ............Oooooo it is blank as a blank thing. I am going to look up high wicomb on multi map (although I don't think it is spelt like that).

Oh poo I really want to catch up but the hearing impairment teacher is coming in 15 mins and Elizabeth hasn't had her lunch yet. Kept her up for longer this morning as a friend was coming round and was looking forward to seeing her. So now she's had a very short sleep and will have a rushed lunch. I've got a friend coming round with her 2 little ones at 3ish so poor E will be knackered and I'll have no chance to chat to all of you, let alone do any housework.

Only good news is that dd1 is off work today and has just phoned to say that she's bought an iced bun ring (the big circular fella type) so can stuff that down for energy!

Tee I was on insulin and I wouldn't go down the slippery slope of 'upping' doses to counter large consumption of carbs! For a start, your legs become very unforgiving after stabbing for a while as do your fingers - but I'm sure you know this already.

Personally I love these new nut choccy oranges but they're not very orangey. And it's family tradition that my children all get a Terry's orange in their stocking at xmas...I'm not sure they'll like these new ones

JJ I'd really love to come to your house when your FiL is there after a few amontillados. I bet he's a hoot! I'm getting an image of the Major from Fawlty Towers but with an eastern european accent

SiL now gone and brought 2 outfits for K. One going back to M&S and the other is ok and she'll grow into it. It's a shame, I've taken practically all the clothes given to me as gifts back to the shop but I did tell everyone not to buy or to ask me first what I wanted. .....they obviously didn't take heed!

JJ, dh got on v well with his Serbian contacts but felt they were being on especially good behaviour for him! He was impressed by the meat, though, and the amount of drink they could knock back. They sound very different from your grand FIL - most of them were illegal/recently legal immigrants working in the agriculture business and doing all sorts of wheeling and dealing.

JW, it's always annoying when people buy you what they want to buy rather than what's best. Still, nice and easy to change things at M&S. I popped in there this morning as am feeling sick and uncreative and was going to buy a ready meal - and it's the £10 offer so came out with 3 courses and bottle of wine I can't drink Yay!

Must have been the night for sleeping los! Alex actually went from 9pm -2.30am then 3.00-6.15..that is probably his best ever nights sleep! And that despite the fact that he is bunged up and sneezing all the time...I blame the pneumococcal vaccine he had on Tues along with his MMR ...I read every available bit of reasearch on the dread vaccine, had long chats with my GP (who is also a paediatrician) went for the jab confident that I had made the right decision but find I am now watching hinm like a hawk for any signs of autism...will a good slice of cake cure paranoia?
Mmmm the dreaded C word eh? We still dont know exactly what is going to happen here..we have always alternated 1 yr at pils next at Ps...last yr was ps turn but my Dad had passed away in the March, Alex was only 11wks old and so Mum and bro willingly came to mine (mum cooked! bonus!)This year is pils turn and mil is quite willing to come to us, but my Mum has made it clear that she'd rather eat alone than share the table with them ..I knew she didn't much like them but aaargghhh!... season of goodwill to all men???!!!.... ho hum...

Floria not sure what you mean by 'looking for signs of autism'. That research from 10 years or more ago has shown to be invalid and is discredited by most healthcare professions. Now we're seeing the other side of the coin in measles on the increase. I think if anyone had seen this illness first hand they would not be so quick to dismiss the jabs.

Btw, DSS has just been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum with Aspergers and after many many appointments with child development team, it's only just been given. Very, very, difficult to diagnose unless you are the 'stereotypical' autistic child a la Rain Man (very, very, very, few are)

I shouldn't worry about it as I'm sure he'll be fine once he gets over his cold

Ah the good old game of family life at Christmas. Isn't it grand when we sit round a table pretending to like people then the sherry starts to kick in and before you know it, you're pulling aunt Mabel off cousin Fred after she's caught him cheating at Monopoly! Yay.

ermintrude enjoy the wine you can't have. Sorry to be cruel...go on, you have a small one

JW i would have a little tipple if i fancied it, but i can't drink the stuff at the moment (except a couple of nights when i've had the odd tiny sip of dh's glass of red to combat nausea - honest!). Not enjoying food much at the mo, and cooking it is even worse. Am being a little sick 2-3 times in the day and hugely every night at 9.30.

I hope your dss's school has good SN dept. A close friend has a daughter with Asperger's (rare in girls, so even harder to get a dx) and it's been such a battle to get a statement, find her the support she needs etc. But some places are brilliant at playing to the child's strength and giving them the right kind of help.

ermintrude DSS is already under the educational psychologist but he doesn't get the one to one he needs so....letter has arrived (today in fact) for statementing process to go ahead. The EP has been informed and hopefully the wheels are set in motion now for his education plan (he was already targetted before the diagnosis).

We've been at this since January 2007 so it's been a long haul but we're finally there

Sorry to hear that your friend is not having such luck herself. She needs to pester and harrang otherwise they file you under 'can wait'...and you do Hopefully she'll get the help she needs. I think a lot of the time it comes down to one deciding factor; money. As usual.

Sorry you're feeling so icky. Try ginger. I got the Twinings ginger tea and it helped with my MS. However, eating a full packet of ginger biscuits can never be excused (step forward one Johnworf. Guilty as charged.)

Also the sea bands that you wear on your wrist are good

I wondered about those bands, might pick some up from chemist up the road. I've got some ginger cordial which I mix with tonic and sip, and that did the trick when it was just nausea, but now that makes me throw up, as do ginger biscuits (Sainsbury's extra special all butter with big chunks of ginger, mmm). I am selecting food on the basis of how pleasant it will taste on the way up. Can manage chocolate, that's not bad!
And bananas. Practially a milkshake by the time I barf!

My poor friend with the Asperger's daughter has worked herself to exhaustion going to meetings, banging heads together, haranguing head teachers and ed psychs and all sorts of people. Her marriage has broken up, she doesn't feel she can give enough time to her other dc and she looks years older. But her daughter is a bit more stable and is still attending school, just about. Been an uphill struggle though - hope your dss's experience is a smoother one!

Oh Ermintrude you poor love. I hate being sick - I always cry . I feel so sorry for you.

Thank you for your sympathy Lilibet. I sort of moan/whimper rather than cry, especially after the night-time one because it really hurts my stomach (oh, and is so violent I get a bit of stress incontinence, so have to hold a wodge of bogroll down my pants whilst retching, which makes the whole thing even more glorious).

This carried on nearly to term with my first dc but I didn't have any nausea - used to just hurl, quite suddenly, and then feel fine. Hoping it will turn into that (can't dare to hope it will go entirely).

Still, should keep the weight down, every cloud, eh?

Right, hearing impairment teacher has just left and I've very unceremoniously shoved Elizabeth in to her cot to catch up on some much needed sleep as she was really moany. The teacher was lovely which is lucky as we'll be seeing her once a week. She is coming to the hearing aid fitting on monday too.

I'm hoping my friend has forgotten about visiting as I could do with a bit of a rest myself. I've achieved nothing today other than one small load of washing and making endless cups of tea. Luckily it's fish and chips tonight so at least I don't have to cook.

We're going to my parents for xmas dinner this year, but usually they come to me. Last year DH's parents came too but they don't want to leave his elderly grandfather on his own so they're coming on Boxing Day instead. My ex has called 'his turn' on having the kids this year, which Grace isn't very happy about. However, they've managed to compromise with him and will go early on Xmas Eve, have their xmas dinner that evening then join us at my parents house for a 5pm dinner on xmas day. Only dd1 and Grace though as Jake is staying in Vladivostok till the orthodox xmas in january (for those that don't know, that's where my 20 yr old son is spending the 3rd year of his degree). I did feel sad at first about only waking up with DH and Elizabeth on xmas morning but being positive now and thinking how much money I'll save by not having to do stockings!

I can't remember, how many weeks are you ermintrude? Poor you with the vomiting. And even poorer you with the barfing/peeing combo. Isn't pregnancy fun? Luckily I've never had morning sickness, just some nausea early on relating to certain smells or if I needed to eat. BTW I love those Sainsbury's Taste the Difference ginger biscuits.

Tee I'm very jealous that you might spend next christmas in California. I lived in LA for a year 20 years ago, my ex was working there and my son Jake was born there. In 2000 we did a house swap with friends of friends in Connecticut, the house was lovely, it was in a small town called Darien.

ladymac you can have the rest of this packet now I can't stomach them - wasted on dc.

I'm 8 wks and have been feeling sh*te for the last 2, getting a bit worse every day.
Surely evolution should have sorted this out?! DH wondered if it's to make newly pg women relax and have everything done for them. Oh how I laughed. Can't think of any societies where announcing pregnancy elicits the response: You must feel awful, you poor dear, here, stay in bed while I look after your kids and house. Your boss won't mind your not coming in, nont one bit. And don't you dare try cleaning or shopping or cooking. You stay there for 3 months and don't lift a finger.

I can dream though....

ermintrude and in the real world...........

ladymac we have the same here with Xmas day ownership of DSS. However, since the courts have reduced the harridan's mother's contact visits, he'll be with us this year. Next year falls on a visit day so we'll have to see. I had it with my older children too although we were always very civil about it. I have spent xmas day completely alone (1 year). Just me and the dog and I must say, it was the worst xmas I've ever had. Ah well, onwards and upwards I say

Oh bugger I just typed a long message and deleted it by accident. I have an Apple laptop (it's an iBook G4, about 4 years old) and have no idea how you find lost typing. Can anyone help? Not for the lost post, just for future reference.

johnworf Grace says this is the last year she'll go to her dad's as 'it's boring'! She says next year will be fun here as E will actually know it's xmas. And of course there'll be the new baby too so in subsequent years 2 little ones getting excited.

Can't remember who brought up finding out the baby's sex. Didn't with first 3 as it was never offered as an option. With Elizabeth we had decided not to find out but I had a detailed scan and when the consultant offered to turn the monitor away while she checked the genitalia we buckled (no willpower!) and decided we wanted to know. However we kept it to ourselves and it was a lovely secret to share. Elizabeth was on a list of names we liked but we wanted to see the baby first to see which name suited her best.

This time we knew we could find out from the CVS, so we've known for a few weeks now. Again, we're not telling anybody. We've a name in mind that we prefer above any others but I wouldn't dream of referring to the bump by this name. IMO, names are for babies, not bellies

ladymac your DD is now at the age where she can make her mind up and this is something we'll have to face in a couple of years with DSS. His mother has a very large influence over him and it's not a very good one I hasten to add. She's a benefits wallah, never worked a day in her life and cannot possibly say a sentence without the word 'f**k' punctuating it every other word. She actually makes Vicky Pollard look classy....anyhoo, if DSS ends up there, there is nothing we can do about it but grin and bear it (unlike her who calls us all the names under the sun to him). Families huh? Who'd have them? Step Families....even worse!

At the age of 12 though, is there anything that isn't boring apart from boy bands and gossiping with your school friends? (tries desperately to remember that far back but fails).

Carrying on the step-families theme - about 3 christmases ago I cooked lunch for my ex husband, our 3 children, his 2 grown up daughters from a previous marriage, my parents and my boyfriend (now DH). Very North London! It was the first xmas DH and I had spent together and I'm surprised he didn't run screaming

By the way I was my ex's wife number 3. He's on to number 4 now!

jw lol at DSS's mum making Vicky Pollard look classy. Does she wear multiple hoop earrings and live on fags and takeaways?

yes to all of the above

Evening all. Been entertaining all afternoon....ah, yes, doing a song and dance routine for friends.. Nah - just making tea and talking while Iris and her friend shrieked around the house.

Am also PMSL @ JWs DSS's mum....class. I can just imagine her - which, I assume is preferable to seeing her in the flesh!

Am also howling at ladymac being 'wife number three please'!! Gosh - step families are difficult. I'm so lucky - we're very uncomplicated apart from having to keep DPs parents away from each other. MIL married again- to a top bloke, but FIL is staunchly single (Portly moustachioued Serb 60, loaded, seeks woman exactly life his ex-wife "god bless her soul") and never the two shall meet!

ermintrude being sick is awful - just takes over everything. I also found a weak ginger tea was good. Sorry sweet but I laughed out loud at the 'wodge of bog roll down the pants' scenario...and I shouldn't - that's horrid. Which reminds me - I've started doing 'downstairs' exercises...it sure don't feel as tight as it used to. I'm convinced I'm gonna need the Tena ladys very soon - and I've had two C-sections...what would I be like if I'd had natural births? - bladder would be on the floor

hedgepig with a spelling of High Wycombe like that - I shall be expecting you to arrive here some time after Xmas as I reckon the sat nav may get a triffle confused Triffle....OOooooo, that's what we need for tomorrow's party - with a noggin of Medised to send the LOs off to sleep