smoking in pregnancy

[fallala]

An acquaintence(close friend of a friend) is six months pregnant, and has not managed to stop smoking ( about ten a day I think)
I don't smoke (used to smoke the odd one or two but stopped when I realised I was starting to enjoy it).

I appreciate it must be hard to give up but can it really be THAT hard? I struggle to be positive about this person at the best of times. Actually I think she is a silly little so and so. Am I being a bit harsh to think shre is being stupid and selfish? Not that I am perfect but I would never have done anythign to harm my babies in the womb.

Prufock.... 'it's not that difficult' is a bit of a sweeping statement. Perhaps it wasn't THAT difficult for you.

Or for the thousands of other people who give up every year for the sake of their own health, or their finances, or under pressure from a partner. I found cravings easier to live with than feelings of guilt.

Prufrock - thank you for your kind words, but I have to disagree with you on one point. Willpower: I have never had the willpower to stop drinking completely, regardless of whether I was pregnant or not. Addition is a very powerful thing. When you are pregnant you are not faced with the baby, it doesn't seem real, therefore the idea of harming it doesn't enter into your head. Also smokers use their habit to calm their nerves, to face up to the harsh realities of life, some would say that being pregnant is when you need to light up the most!

I would not necessarily place the mother before the unborn baby. I would see them both as equal. Surprisingly enough I place a lot of importance on an unborn child's rights. However I do think that while someone said, everyone judges, it is also immoral to judge whilst not doing anything to help. You may see a pregnant woman in the pub drinking vodka and smoking, you could either sit back and tut, then go away and tell all your friends what a bad mother she will make, or you can strike up a conversation with her, try to help her by being a friend. The more people judge you, the more likely you are to repeat the behaviour that led to the judging.

So Fallala, I would befriend this woman. She has lost 2 babies is that right? Well that would drive me to drink! How about a little support for her, no doubt she has been judged lots of times, which just makes her situation worse. You may make the biggest difference to her if you were to just talk to her. If you did that and she spurned the help you offered her, then fair enough, call her a bad person. But give them a chance to defend themselves first.

You can still be friends with someone and support them but still see their behaviour as wrong. We need to expect high standards from people in terms of responsibility, behaviour and so on but his doesn't necessarily mean condemnation if they fail.

Anyway, the real message from all of this is what a hideous drub tobacco is. Are there any smokers out there who don't regret taking it up?

I was 11 years old when I started. I'm from a 'middle-class' background, I did well at school, had good friends etc etc. There was no real pressure on me to start, I was just very young and stupid and didn't really think I would get addicted >sigh

I actually used to like smoking - whe it is you who smells of stale smoke, you don't really notice it! And, well, I just liked it. People used to tell me "You must give up" and i used to try, but in my heart I didn't really want to, so never succeeded.I started smoking when i was about 14, and by the time I was 22 was smoking 40 a day.
That said, I gave up smoking when I was 23 and it was very easy - becuase I had made the decision that that as what I wanted to do. So I just did it. (I have read somewhere that the physical addiction only lasts 3 days, after that it is psychological - which I believe is far different to alcohol) I gave up becuase i wanted to have a baby, and didn't want to smoke when pregnant - so I vowed to myself that I could only allow myself to get pregnant when I had not smoked for 6 months.
I suppose my point, though, is that giving up smoking IS easy IF you have chosen that course. If it is not your decision, and has been forced upon you by others, then yes, it is very hard. Which leaves the question - how can society make people (pregnant women in particular) want to give up smoking. Guilt doesn't work - you are still only doing it because of what other people think, not because you want to. the only real solution is information (for everyone, and at an early age) and support.
I have to be honest though - 6 years later and I still miss smoking.

Hi I'm new to this but has anyone tried hypnosis. I didnt want to wear a gorgeous frock on my wedding day with a fag in one hand and paid £18 (cheaper than a weeks worth of fags) Stopped over night from 20 a day to nothing after 16 years of puffing. It freaks me a bit what she must have done to my head. my dh quit the same way at the same time he claims to have been awake throughout. I remember nothing except it was the best sleep I have ever had.

Bubbly - £18 WOW.. that seems very reasonable. I'd love to try it, but whenever I've seen it advertised it is WAY out of my price range and suggests you may need more than one session. Where did you and your dh go for the treatment?

bubbly - that sounds really impressive. How long has it lasted? The only person I've heard of before who tried hypnosis claimed she needed a cigarette afterwards to get over it!

I have a hypnosis story, too. I used to share an office with one of my best friends. We worked as a close team throughout the day and often socialised after work together, so we were in each other's company for the majority of our waking hours. She was a smoker with zero willpower and had been trying to give up smoking without success (I will never forget the smell of those herbal cigarettes).

She decided to try hypnosis and made an appointment. A few days beforehand she had a phone call to say the appointment had to be cancelled, and did she want to re-book? She did.She turned up for one session - I saw her directly before and after. She stopped smoking!

She had some cravings, but not enough to make her take it up again. I think she had a couple of other sessions and that was it. She was a very skint ex-student at the time so I know the hypnosis wasn't expensive - I believe it cost around £50.00. I worked with her for a year after the hypnosis and she did not light up a cigarette at all during that time.

She said the hypnotist put her under but she was still conscious, and he also talked to her, and made her believe that she would only be free when she stopped smoking. Apparently the cancellation of her first appointment was a deliberate ploy to weed out the noncommitted. The peopole who re-booked were more likely to be serious about giving up.

Umm it was a long time ago in 1994 - my how time does fly when you're having babies. But have dug up the ladies number. Dont know what she charges now probably a lot more (riding the alternative therapies wave) I think it was in High Wycombe. Am I allowed to give her number out? If so let me know. Her name is Delia Young. It really does work. I wavered once in France the smell of Gitane was soo evocative but couldnt finish the cig. Still hanging on in there though.

I have just sat and read all these messages with my mouth hanging open in disgust. To the people who liken cigarette smoking to child abuse I would like you to think really hard about that. I find it incredibly offensive and ignorant. I have been a smoker since I was 16 and I cut down to 5 a day with dd, I was in a very stressful job at the time, but once I finished work I gave up altogether and it was extremely hard. She weighed 7/6 and has never had any problems whatsover, she rarely even gets a cold, her health is fantastic and she is 7. I am expecting second baby in June and have virtually given up from the start this time, I literally have one ciggie once a fortnight. When I told the midwife she beamed at me and congratulated me and put me down as a non smoker - like she said, I would inhale more than that in a busy pub on a Saturday evening. I know a girl who drank "in moderation" throughout pregnancy and her baby was born with foetal alcohol syndrome and had a tube up its nose and strapped to its cheek for ages. I have given up alcohol completely and feel pretty proud of myself. But I would never preach to others. And I would NEVER liken smoking to child abuse. Shame on you thoughtless Mothers. Seeing as caffeine, tuna, pate, liver, blue veined cheese and goodness knows what else is supposed to be harmful, then surely you should target anyone who consumes any of these with your ridiculous comments. And if you wanted to be really pedantic, you could criticise all the Mums who let their children eat chocolate or drink fizzy drinks as they both contain caffeine and are therefore harming the child.

I cut out cigarettes completely in pregnancy but I was lucky that it came easily. I am a social smoker and can go days without one but I can sympathise with people who find it impossible to cut down completely, I have friends who have cut down but not stopped, they are certainly not child abusers. If there is one thing that being a mum has taught me it is to be less judgemental about other people.

Bevi - I am sorry but I do disagree with you. I smoked 10 a day before getting pregant with DD1 - As soon as I found out I gave up completely - it was difficult but in my opinion necessary. I understand it is very difficult to give up smoking but when it comes to the health of your unborn child then that should be a priority. I also hated the idea of my daughter seeing me smoking, smelling my clothes etc. I agree with you that we should take care with all heath warnings such as blue cheese, alcohol.
I am feeling more emotional about this as I am a few weeks pregnant at the moment...

Grommit - I am emotional too, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gone off my head so much! But it just really bugs me that people don't think about what they're saying. Any reference to child abuse freaks me out because its the most hideous thing in the world. To be honest, I wish I had never started smoking in the first place, but I was 16 and impressionable and got addicted very quickly. But at least I have virtually stopped now and I trust my midwife when she says that one once a fortnight won't hurt. I agree with you about clothes smelling etc - I only ever smoke outside the house and not in front of dd. And the most depressing thing is even though I am being really good, I have as a result put on 3 stone and I am not due til end June. Food just tastes so fabulous!

Bevi - good for you - you are doing really well to have almost given up. Don't worry about the weight -this is the only time we have an excuse!

From what I have seen and know about women who smoke, they do know the effects of smoking on a foetus, but can justify why it is ok for them to smoke.
The main excuse is "but my other 2 children are ok and were a good weight when born, never had any health problems whatsoever", or "my mum smoked the whole pregnancy with me and I am fine, she gave up whilst pregnant with my sister and she was underweight and always having health problems". So what these unbelievable women are saying is its almost beneficial to smoke whilst pregnant!!! Selfish mothers who don?t careless about their unborn child ? obviously they care more about cigarettes, as long as they can come up with an excuse to ease their guilt its ok. They even say there is no ?evidence? to prove smoking does harm to a child!! And they are willing to take that risk? Something they do selfishly for nine months can affect a child for the rest of its life, the child may ?appear? healthy when born but who knows the hidden damages their precious fags have done, who knows what problems may arise in years to come. It doesn?t stop there, most mothers continue to smoke after they?ve given birth, I?ve seen plenty of mothers holding their baby while smoking a cigarette. They will not go outside to ?have a fag? while their child is in the room as it is an ?inconvenience? or ?its too cold outside? another thing they say is ?its not easy to give up? Remember, babies have no choice, if the mothers a smoker then the baby is a smoker ? If you women want to kill yourselves then fine but don?t bring an innocent life into the equation, IT?S YOUR UNBORN CHILD YOU SELFISH WOMAN.

oh look - here we go again!

Desperate attention seeker.com

Oh just piss off selfishmothers ...
Ignore this thread everyone!

lol - init just JM! exact same start as yesterday.

???

Groundhog day!

Go away you stupid woman!