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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

smoking in pregnancy

251 replies

fallala · 27/02/2003 21:11

An acquaintence(close friend of a friend) is six months pregnant, and has not managed to stop smoking ( about ten a day I think)
I don't smoke (used to smoke the odd one or two but stopped when I realised I was starting to enjoy it).

I appreciate it must be hard to give up but can it really be THAT hard? I struggle to be positive about this person at the best of times. Actually I think she is a silly little so and so. Am I being a bit harsh to think shre is being stupid and selfish? Not that I am perfect but I would never have done anythign to harm my babies in the womb.

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NomDePlume · 08/09/2006 18:11

KERRY - Tamba and HRHQueenOfQuotes BOTH SMOKE !

kerry26 · 08/09/2006 18:11

erm i dnt think so i am 42 haha

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 08/09/2006 18:11

yes Kerry - 3yrs ago - have a look here

colditz · 08/09/2006 19:06

yh but nic rashnlisin de choice aint GET A LIF U R LONLY PPOL! innit?

edie123 · 08/09/2006 19:09

Kerry

If you don't want to be judged on your actions then you would probably be better off not to put your views on smoking on this kind of website that is designed for people to show eachother support through good and bad times. There are people on here who have suffered many very painful and shocking experiences and who may find it difficult to accept that they may have lost babies despite trying to lead a healthy lifestyle.

trinityrhino · 08/09/2006 19:11

I haven't read the whole thread but I will add my experience. I was unable to quit smoking with both of my pg. I feel guilty about it but it IS an addiction and hard to kick especially with added stress around.
I know that it is the causer of possible low birth weights but i was lucky and dd1 was 7b 11oz and dd2 was 8b 2oz so not smaller than average

kittywits · 08/09/2006 19:12

There is an argument, and I have heard it used by doctors and other health professionals that if it causes the mother extreme stress to give up smoking whilst pregnant it is infact potentially more harmful for the baby than if she were smoking and relaxed. I I think it's awful that anyone is passing judgment on pregnant women who smoke. What's the saying... those who live in glass houses and all that.
Makes me mad how some people have such superior notions of themselves

edie123 · 08/09/2006 19:15

What a loud of old trout

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 08/09/2006 20:16

kitty - that's fair enough - but there's nothing stopping them at least trying to cut down.......

kittywits · 08/09/2006 20:21

I totally agree. It's very difficult to quit smoking. But if giving up is too much then cutting down as much as possis a good compromise.

edam · 08/09/2006 20:21

Have heard the same as Kitty. We smokers do know that smoking when pregnant isn't great. You can hardly miss the warnings. Having a go isn't going to help us give up, is it? It'll just make us angry/miserable/guilty. All of which is more likely to make us reach for a cigarette to relieve the stress.

CJinSussex · 08/09/2006 20:35

I love smoking. But I quit when I was about 4 weeks pregnant. It was bloody hard. It's the life achievement I'm most proud of - well, maybe after the children. That was 5 years ago and I hate to say it, but I'm like the Bisto kid when I stand near someone smoking. Mmmmmm. Could start again right now, it is SO addictive, can understand why some can't stop - but I think all pregnant women should try.

Elibean · 08/09/2006 20:48

I remember one wise old GP telling me that nicotine was a thousand times more addictive than heroin, and therefore harder to give up.

Having been through giving up both (smoking second, by several years) a long time ago, IME thats probably true...also, some of us are more 'addictive' (for a variety of partially unknoweable reasons) than others. So one person might find it easier than another - no point in judging.

Elibean · 08/09/2006 20:50

But I AM all in favour of confronting denial about smoking being harmful - thats information, and reality, not judegement.

Elibean · 08/09/2006 20:51

...sigh...judgement. Time for bed, Zebedee...

divastrop · 09/09/2006 20:36

its just taken me an hour to read through all this!(cheers kittywits!)
i dont want to repeat what every1 has said so i shall keep my views on smoking in pg to myself,i just wanted to point out that kerry26 is probably a 13 yr old boy who's hacked into his mothers MN account.IMO

lazyemma · 09/09/2006 21:05

The whole industry that's sprung up around quitting smoking has given smokers the impression that it's some herculean task, like climbing Everest blindfolded or jogging across the Gobi desert with a rucksack full of rocks. But unless you've been smoking 60 a day for decades (like my dad) it's really not that difficult to give up. It's not a whole lot of fun, granted, but there's a huge sense of achievement that comes with every nicotine-free day.

The initial physical cravings for nicotine aren't constant - they come in waves, which last 5 to 10 minutes or so. These aren't pleasant but you only get them for a couple of days, then they gradually peter out. After that, you're trying to break the habit, rather than the physical addiction. The worst times are when you habitually light up - during breaks at work, with coffee, after meals - but I found a good way to approach them was almost to fool myself that "I'm just not going to have any cigarettes today", as at first, the thought that I'd NEVER SMOKE AGAIN was quite frightening, like all big changes in life are. But it does get easier week by week, and then you realise that a day has gone by and you haven't had so much as a passing thought about a cigarette.

Whilst I wouldn't judge a pregnant woman for smoking, I do wonder what would ever be reason enough for someone to give up, if not the wellbeing of their unborn baby.

Sandcastles · 10/09/2006 06:44

What I find even worse than smoking during pg (which I didn't, have never smoked & I still had a prem baby who was only 4lb 4oz) is in the supermarket the other day a family with 2 children put $30 worth of food back as they went over on their food bill. BUT mum & dad then went & bought 2 packets of cigarettes EACH at $12 per packet!!!

Go figure!

Sandcastles · 10/09/2006 08:20

ok, maybe not worse than smoking during pregnancy, but pretty reprehensable!

Blandmum · 10/09/2006 08:21

lazyemma, your post was very interesting.

My mother quit smoking, cold turkey, when she retired. She had smoked for almost 50 years, around 20 a day. When she retired she decided she just didn't want to smoke any more, and she quit, just like that.

He description of what it felt like was jsut like yours, and the key thing is that both of you really wanted to quit.

She was the worst type of anti smoker after she quit btw

RE the comment that alcohol is worse for developing babies than smoking and that this is proven, sorry, load of old toffee. The studies on smoking and pg are conclusive. The studies of alcohol use, are not conclusive, unless you look at data from alcoholic mothers, those drinking very large amounts daily.

squishy · 10/09/2006 09:44

divastrop - LOL, I'd been thinking exactly that. Working in Social Care myself, I really doubted the validity/reality of those posts!!

lazyemma, I found when I gave up that breaking the habit was actually far far far harder than the cravings and almost replaced with a bit of an extra strong mint habit (which I then had to wean myself off !)

divastrop · 10/09/2006 11:06

lazyemma,u summed it up really,i am pg with child no.5 and have never had a prob quitting smoking when i was pg before but this time ive found it a struggle,mainly because i thought 'right,i have to give up,and never smoke again this time' and i ended up in a total state over it.then i remembered that last time i didnt even tell any1 i'd given up until i hadnt smoked for 3 months.i'd had a pack of 10 fags sitting there all that time and i was saying to myself'im not giving up,i can have a fag if i need one,i just dont need one at the moment'.thats what im doing again this time,it works better for me than cold turkey.

Elibean · 10/09/2006 14:08

Absolutely - thats how I gave up too: I ran out whilst at my mother's house, too far too walk to the nearest shop. So I told myself 'I can get through the rest of the day, I'll pick some ciggies up on the way home this afternoon'. And then 'I can get back to London without'. And then, 'hey, maybe I can get to tomorrow morning without'.
And so on....that was 16 years ago...

chamonemofo · 11/09/2006 11:31

lol @ this thread.
Im sayin nowt

cinnamongreyhound · 11/09/2006 13:08

I cannot imagine how hard it is to give up smoking, when I was a child my grandad was told he would loose both his legs if he didn't give up and still couldn't.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant (first time) and have been continually worrying about everything I do. I personally couldn't live with myself if I even thought for a second that I had done anything to contribute to any problem my baby had. I am therefore avoiding everything that I have read you should avoid.

I have to say that imo the baby is a separate living person and you alone (with dp/dh) have decided to bring it into the world, it has no say, and you should give it the best chance possible.

As far as drinking and smoking goes I am doing neither but when I went to the doctor the 2 most important things as far as she were concerned where that I was taking Folic acid and that I didn't smoke. I have an appointment with a midwife next week who may say something different but that would suggest smoking is considered more dangerous.

I am reasonably anti-smoking and do hate to see people smoking when pregnant or around children as the children have no choice, but I would never tell someone that they shouldn't do it. Any positive support, help or advise that can be given to smokers to give up I think is great but pressure never helps anyone!