Things they don't tell you before you get pregnant

[AnguaVonUberwald]

I know this has been done before, and that there are lots of bad things they don't tell you before you get pregnant.

But also, everyone goes on about how once you have the baby your life will never be the same again - they don't mention that you will love the baby so much, you will really like the new way, and not mind that everything you once enjoyed about your life has changed, because you have your baby instead.

OK, and then there is:

That you might never get the second trimester energy rush, and in fact might be exhausted all the way through!

That you will get instant attention from the NHS, until you get to 36 weeks pregnant, and then they will ignore you unless you can prove you are in labour (something that is impossible to do)

That you will never see the same midwife twice

That they will make you take home your wee, clean out the tub, and wee in it again a month later!

[nooname]

That your body hair could either grow loads more or pretty much stop growing at all!

I'm lucky in that while pregnant my hair stops growing but I was fully expecting the opposite to happen!

Feeling like an old lady because all my joints felt like they were falling apart - groaning and heaving when getting up! Bizarrely disapears as soon as the baby is born.

But having said that, having an ok 3rd trimester and never getting to the point of feeling like I really wanted the baby out. I thought I was so weird cos the rest of the pregnant world seems to hate being heavily pregnant!

Moral of the story - anything goes!

[SummerLightning]

That you will want to machine gun anyone who says "ooh, enjoy your pregnancy". What is to enjoy?

[ceedub]

funny-smelling wee and pains from the ligaments stretching

[cyteen]

constant thrush

[BrightSideOfLife]

These are hilarious - I am only just past 7 weeks and so many of them are already true.

I am seconding the hairy tummy thing. I hadn't expected that! I now have a lovely dark fuzzy tummy button and line running up my stomach. I realised my bikini days would be over soon, but hadn't expected them to disappear in a ball of brown belly-fuzz!

[Chaotica]

That it is possible to become covered all over with burns, rashes, spots and peeling which stop you from sleeping for weeks because you're allergic to your baby

[Pinkglow]

EVERYONE knows if its a boy or girl because you crave certain foods, did the ring test, your bump is showing in a certain way etc - then when you do find out the sex 50% of ppl you know act really smug with 'I told you'

I have been reassured with this thread with the wet knickers thing in the 3rd trimester so thankyou guys

[zoejeanne]

that despite not being able to see your pubes, you can feel a really bad ingrowing hair there - and you have to ask DH to tweezer it out!

[gem1981]

ooh i have another
no one tells you that afterwards your hair just starts falling out - !!!

so you are left with a saggy belly, saggy leaky boobs and bags under your eyes .... and then just when you think your couldn't look more minging your hair falls out

WTF is that about????

[wasabipeanut]

That puking is made even worse when you pee yourself slightly at the same time.

[MsSparkle]

That half the people you know will tell you how massive you are for X amount of weeks and half will tell you how small you are

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

That your lovely winter boots will shrink and leave you with only sandals to wear on cold days [sulk]

[SummerLightning]

Yes MsSparkle - people hardly ever say "Oh yes, you look just about normal" - I guess that would be boring. It is nice when someone says "You look very healthy" though, without commenting on how big your bump/boobs/general figure is.

Oh and there are always people who when you tell them you are pregnant at say 12 weeks tell you that they have known all along, usually since before you knew yourself.

[Upwind]

fur might suddenly appear on your belly and lower back

agonising ligament pains are normal

constant exhaustion is normal and it might not go away in the second trimester

your bladder shrinks so the location of the nearest loo is always on your mind...

[kingrolo]

That despite giving up alcohol you will feel hungover every single day for the first 14 weeks due to nausea

That despite giving up alcohol completely you will feel slightly tipsy in the third trimester due to inability to put on own shoes

[bluebell82]

that your pelvic floor will ping back- I was still pissing myself when dd was 6 months

[frazzledoldbag34]

oh god, I love reading these....reminds me why I thought it was a good idea to get pregnant again!!
It's so reassuring to hear that everyone else's bodily functions are as messed up as mine!
(My dh keeps giving me funny looks for giggling at the laptop)

[Playdough]

That people you don't know find it perfectly acceptable to comment on how large you are, at any stage in the pregnancy, and speculate in the rudest way on why you are so big/small.

[ButIForgetMyself]

Hot itchy tits.
White gunk being discovered for the first time by your DP whilst mid-shag.
Heartburn so bad you are convinced you are having a heart attack on several occasions.
An aversion to all green food, despite your vow to eat only healthy food. My baby is going to come out half Mars Bar, half Gaviscon.
Really disgusting sex dreams.
Inability to keep your gob shut when somebody pisses me off. Especially your boss. To her face.
You will not be able to get the repeat prescriptions of Peptac fast enough (ie every day), and you will spend at least a fiver a day on other indigestion remedies.
And you won't be able to park the car anymore! What on earth? Today I was driving into a marked bay next to a kerb, no other cars either side. I managed to mount the kerb, stall the car and fail miserably, at which point I turned the car around so at least I could see the kerb out of my window. This is after DP expressed a keen desire to exit the car asap as he was embarrassed by people standing watching.

[ButIForgetMyself]

Inability to keep your gob shut when somebody pisses YOU off. Sorry.

[auntyspan]

Buy shares in Gaviscon. I was swigging the stuff whilst in labour.

[bessie26]

That you can get varicose veins in places other than your legs

[ajm200]

That the Dr can give you gaviscon on prescription and save you and absolute fortune.

[WorzselMummage]

That you will hear a fart, think ' who was that the dirty bugger' and realise it was actually you.

That you will give birth and recoil in utter horror about how hairy and unkempt your lady garden is.

That your nipples will go black

The fist wee post birth is bliss because you can get a bit of pressure behind it.

You will bleed A LOT.