Things they don't tell you before you get pregnant

[AnguaVonUberwald]

I know this has been done before, and that there are lots of bad things they don't tell you before you get pregnant.

But also, everyone goes on about how once you have the baby your life will never be the same again - they don't mention that you will love the baby so much, you will really like the new way, and not mind that everything you once enjoyed about your life has changed, because you have your baby instead.

OK, and then there is:

That you might never get the second trimester energy rush, and in fact might be exhausted all the way through!

That you will get instant attention from the NHS, until you get to 36 weeks pregnant, and then they will ignore you unless you can prove you are in labour (something that is impossible to do)

That you will never see the same midwife twice

That they will make you take home your wee, clean out the tub, and wee in it again a month later!

[TeenyTinyTorya]

That your lower regions will swell up to about three times their normal size after labour, and your episiotomy could well burst.

[Romney]

That whatever symptoms they warn you about, you could equally well get the opposite. Its all normal.

High blood pressure vs. low blood pressure.

Can't sleep vs. sleep all the time.

Sluggish vs. mad rush to clean house.

I want it all over NOW vs. I'm not having a baby, I'm going home instead.

[ajm200]

That pregnancy hormones can really dumb you down.

[ajm200]

That your boobs can leak milk several weeks before baby is due while in an otherwise all male customer meeting and wearing a white blouse

[annoyingdevil]

Cracked heels - never experienced that joy before pregnancy

[MrsTittleMouse]

That not even maternity clothes fit in the last month. Why don't they make them big enough?!?!? What on Earth am I supposed to wear?
Oh, and that you can get irrationally angry, I didn't know that either.

[ellideb]

Restless, hot legs at night when you are trying to get to sleep.

Inability to keep warm in the 1st trimester even though it is scorching outside and you've got the heating on full.

Funny tasting saliva.

Excess saliva.

Aversions and vomiting to most smells, particularly the fridge smell.

Cravings for something that you just can't satisfy.

Food tasting completely different to how it normally does.

Kicks from baby are sometimes bloody painful and when aimed at certain places can make you leak urine/jump out of your skin

[ajm200]

That your boobs can leak when you hold someone else's newborn baby in the last trimester

[BabyBaby123]

it's not just me with the fridge smell then!!

and that you gag on your toothbrush

[wearymum200]

That the moment someone sees your bump they will rush to tell you their birth nightmare story. And that they'll feel free to tell you that you're walking like a duck. Thanks.

[sweetkitty]

S P D

[Crazycatlady]

• Your boobs are doomed. There are NO nice maternity bras, only nursing ones (which you will get lectured by a shop assistant for looking at when you're only 25 weeks and ushered over to look at the hideous Doreen).

• You will be cold. Pregnant women apparently do not require jumpers or coats. I have found 1 coat and it's £100...

• Don't buy dresses or skirts for winter. Putting tights on becomes a logistical challenge after about 22 weeks.

• Take a packed lunch. It's really hard to find things to eat at work at lunchtime unless you break the rules (preprepared salad, deli meats in sandwiches, only allowed tuna twice a week...)

• Your bump will be stared at constantly. Mostly by women, usually spiky looking ones in heels and suits. Not sure if this is out of longing, disgust or sheer horror...

[limey]

That your body will find new and inventive ways to expell a range of fluids: vomit, bleeding gums and nose, excessive snot, colostrum, leucorrhoeia, urine. And I have now started to DRIBBLE in my sleep

And that all the way through pregnancy you won't really believe you are really pregnant and that a real life baby is going to come out of you!

[LittleMyDancing]

That birth plans are complete works of fiction

That your career will most likely take a nosedive after children - and you won't care

That your DH/DP will be simultaneously the most annoying and the most necessary person in the world - which means you'll spend most of the pregnancy either yelling at them or hanging onto their ankle begging them not to leave you

[freshprincess]

Your friends are boring when they're drunk and you're not

People only ever talk to you about babies

No-one is interested in your welfare the minute the LO pops out

[cathym]

So glad I'm not the only one who thought no one cared about my health after the baby is born. Had loads of probs when pregnant first time. Whenever I rang the hospital they told me to come in straight away. When I went home after a c-section it opened up slightly so I rang the hospital, and they told me that unless it was green or the hole was the size of a coin I didn't need to worry and I should just put a dressing on it myself!

[freshprincess]

cathym - When they were taking me and my DTs up to the ward I was flat out on my back (had a C section) and LOs were in the same cot. My DH, parents and inlaws all went up in one lift with the babies whilst I was in a different one with just the porter!!

I wanted DH to stay with them (was convinced that we would be subject to hospital baby swap drama as a result of watching too many crap TV movies when pregnant) but thought at least my mum could have stayed with me!

[Peabody]

That you will be mainlining Gaviscon to deal with the heartburn.

That not all midwives are the caring, medically competent women you read about in books.

That breastfeeding is like learning to drive - most women are physically able to do it; some women can do it with very little help, but the majority find it difficult and frustrating at first.

That you will spend the last part of your pregnancy sans wedding ring because your hands have swelled up so much.

[LadyThompson]

Snoring like a tractor with a coke habit.

[spicemonster]

That your nipples will scream in agony if they get cold and that the only way to warm them up will be to dip them in a sink of warm water. That turning over in bed will be a major performance. That you will be so utterly sick to death of being pregnant by the time you give birth that you will do anything to just stop being pregnant.

That people will start calling you 'mum' when you go to antenatal appointments and you will have to get used to it and stop wondering why they're referring to your mother when she's not actually there. (or was that just me that was confused by that?)

[LadyThompson]

That you will start to feel you need a crane to get out of the bath.

[LadyThompson]

That you will start to feel you need a crane to get out of the bath.

[jojostar]

cyteen that so right everyone thinks I'm mad when I say I had a hairy belly!

No one said that by the time you get comfy in bed you need to get up for ANOTHER wee..

That you'll want to kill the midwife if you hear 'thats it thats great now push through your bottom' again for the tenth time

I particulally hated 'you forget the pain when you hold the baby' they should add 'for one microsecond the pain will stop while you are overjoyed/relieved its out of there, then you will still feel like you have been run over by a fully loaded dump truck'

Maybe thats just me!