All New, Sparkly Fab and 40 + : Mums, Mums to Be or TTC. Come say Hi !

[jeanjeannie]

Hello all - well, this is our third message board..so it's a popular topic.

If you're a fab forty something then please come and say Hi!

The thread lives in pregnancy as that's where it started....but it's certainly no longer confined to just being about pregnancy. It's for anyone whose a gorgeous 40 something. So get a cuppa, bring some biscuits - or cake - and have a chat x

ladymac I know where you're coming from. I didn't opt for the amnio or cvs for reasons I said before but I'm not one of these bang on the drum anti-abortionists either. Didn't realise that Buckley's were one of the latter. I just saw the Nicolaides guy and figured if he was involved, it was probably valid. I have seen Down's Syndrome Association's take on this on their website and they are certainly taking it seriously.

Sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable as that wasn't my intention. I'd probably feel like you if I was still pregnant. I know that when I had my anomoly scan at 21 weeks I could have kissed the sonographer (perhaps I did, can't remember) when he told me that soft markers said no down's. And I also know that CVS/Amnio was waved under my nose many times and medical staff amazed when I refused ("at my age as well. Don't you know the risks?"). However, I think those of us over 40 know where we're at even before we're pregnant and more or less what we're going to do or not do should push come to shove.

Not sure of the other chromosomal discorders you refer to. Do you mean Edward's? I don't know a lot about these subjects as I've not looked into them. At age 41 (when I was pregnant) I think my risk of DS was 80:1 but I always thought that was quite good odds really

johnworf I have just insulted you back although me doth think that the aforementioned Facebbook hath indeed been discombobulated by the new look and it is now a veritable dog hole of a site

Your insults have disappeared and I can't find half of my messages and my friends keep dropping off the list. It's all too much - I must take to my bed with the smelling salts ...*flouces off with hanky

ladymac I understand where you are coming from 100%. I would probably do the same in your shoes. There is quite a big difference in the "odds" between the ages of 40 and 45. And, absolutely, if you did find a problem you need to know as soon as possible. You were wise to investigate the authors - if there's one thing I have learnt in my job it is never to take a sentence beginning with "New research has show that..." at face value. I am a scientist and I believe in science but these things are often reported and misreported in ways that bear no resemblance to the facts. The nedia has a lot to answer for.

I found being able to talk to people on here so helpful during my pregnancy - people are honest ad non-judgemental (at least on this thread) and you can say things on here that you might not be able to say to friends and family.

jw ask? if he would mind? jeez. No wonder there's no discipline in schools. Something which I know will become a massive bug bear for me is the way the education system is run now. It seems to be totally about teaching children to pass their SATs so the school can meet its targets rather than actually educating them. Not the fault of teachers or headteachers - totally the Government's fault. Government doesn't think more than two years ahead - so long as they can say that there has been an x% improvement in SAT results or whatever they don't give a damn what kind of minds are being churned out of the education system in the longer term.

I'll shurrup now.

ladymac I soo concur with the others here - it's such a personal thing and if it's right for you then go ahead. And like mrsboogie says - the odds between 40 and 45 are quite different.

I just thought as my odds at 40 were so good - I was terrified and shocked this time round when I saw 1:2. I went to FMC as it was the only way I could get a CVS done in time as NHS cocked up

I also notice on MN that if you post a question about DS testing - the badly disguised pro lifers turn up I get so upset when I see a poster asking for advice on the subject and people start posting essays on how disgusting it is that they've got the DS terminology wrong and how fab life is with DS kids. It makes me annoyed cos the OP never asked for that I contacted MN HQ about it but they said they felt it was OK So I'd stay away from those threads - unless you want a fight !

Anyway - any tests, scans etc bring stress. It's not until the baby is in your hot little hands, that you can then start worrying about something else!!

Oh schools.... I'm dreading it. We've got the 11 plus here and not one kid from our area passed this year! Only private schools or tutoring will get them through it. Our one and only junior school in our catchment area is Sh*te....and has a police patrol Parents are a triffle rough and cause trouble! DP is already talking about having to go private as unless we get somewhere out of catchment....that's our only state option.....or move!!

Growling at the thought......Grrrrrrrrrrr

Oh 11+. Aren't you lucky? We don't have such luxuries here in Bury (although Trafford still operate it). I've had K baptised and DH only let me go ahead with her being a left footer like myself as the schooling is, in general, usually very good. The local catholic secondary near to us is number 1 in the rankings for Bury (based on GCSE results), whereas the local comp where DSS will probably go to is 13 (out of 14 )

SATS are a complete waste of time for both the children and the teachers, just an exercise in numbers. Thus creating a false impression that some schools are better than others solely based on faux league tables. Of course, some schools are fundamentally better than others but for reasons other than testing.

My 3 other children also went to Catholic schools and none are remotely religious. I read a few weeks ago that moving is so last season as the authorities have cottoned on to this one so some parents are having their kids baptised as catholics just for the schooling! Sooooooo funny

cripes girls we have been having some very serious conversations this afternoon. Good move to check out the authors MrsB, I meant to do that too but had to go to the hospital. I'm a scientist too and get so cross with the medias interpretation of science in bite sized chunks totally ignoring and/or misrepresenting the actual research grrrrr

I have good news I have amniotic fluid in the right places and a head down baby yipeeeee. I was really expecting a problem but it is all OK

I would so hate to have to resort to having to have my LO baptised as Catholic for that reason. I was brought up a Catholic and had it forced down my throat for 18 years. I can't get far enough away from it or religion in general. When I told my mother I was pregnant she said to me " will you be having it Christened?" and I said no - you know we are both atheists. And she said "oh but would you not have him Christened anyway"

Also when I had my older son - years ago when I was more easily manipulated - I went home to see them for his first Christmas and she had arranged a Christening and we were marched along to it without as much as a by your leave!

It would kill me to have to do it now to get him into a good school! Having said that if it came down to a choice between the baptismal font and Chav Comp I'd probably do it.

good news hedgepig !! glad all is as it should be.

hedgepig congrats! Glad it's all in the right place

Not one to say I told you so.....

................but I told you so!

mrsboogie I think they've moved away from the hair knickers and floggings from the nuns like back in our day. Thank goodness.

JW I know you told me so but I am soooo good at worrying its hard not to . I have got a cold and feel rather grotty so I'm off to bed sweet dreams everyone H

hedgepig well done you for keeping up those fluid levels....most excellent And head down too - Ooo - it's packing its bags and it's on it's way!!

johnworf LOL@ Moving being so last year!!!

I'm a very unreligious soul (or should that be sole?!) BUT - it's that choice mrsboogie mentioned...chav comp or the font!
We've got great top notch C of E schools - and the girls aren't baptisted - perhaps this could be our trump card

I was baptised C of E and DP was baptised Serbian Orthodox (really, it exists) and surprise, surprise there's a church near us that is BOTH! Yep, part-time Serbian Orthodox - that's gotta be a hoot. I'm fully expecting HUGE beard, icons and swinging incense.

Gosh - yes, we've covered some serious subjects today, not like us, it's usually much fluffier - like CAKE and fashion
And we've still not covered the collapse of capitalism..............we can do that tomorrow

Ooh, Serbian Orthodox. I used to go to the dances in West London with my Serbian friend when I was in my teens. The men were very hunky and manly and I'm getting a bit carried away now and must calm down.

Thanks for letting me go on and on and on about CVS. Will now talk about other stuff. Oh, except that I was due to have it on monday but the scan has put my date back by 2 days. Which means that come monday I'll only be 10+6 whereas I thought I'd be 11+1. So they can't do it until thurs, which means I have to come up with some reason why I have to leave work early.

Moving is so last year is it? Well that's exactly when we did it, in order to get Grace in to a decent state secondary school. Just to be extra sure we moved within 2 minutes walk of the school gates. Was brought up by Marxist father and agnostic mother so religion didn't feature much at home although we had religious assemblies at school. I know the words to loads of hymns, unlike my heathen daughters who shocked me by not knowing the Lord's Prayer (son got scholarship to smart public school with its own chapel and was always picked to read passages from the bible so like me knows the basics).

Personally I would sleep with the headmaster if I thought it would help get one of my kids into a good school.

ladymac Blimey - I'd not thought of sleeping with the headmaster - cheers for the lightbulb moment. *runs of to check I'm not in for a lesbian encounter. Nope - all 3 good schools - all male heads....phew

A marxist dad, agnostic mum and a son at public school - go on girl - you let 'em try and pigeon hole you!! Blimey, there are some regular MNetters on the Education thread would implode with trying to work you out!!!

DP is quite hunky he's half Serbian and half Polish (Belarus)......so add that to my English/Irish/Scottish hotch-potch and our LOs are VERY European!

Crikey - you talk as much as you want about the CVS - I wish I'd had this thread - as like you, I'd not told any family. Just nice to off load to a third party. Plus I've been there and I really know how stressful it is. How are you feeling? I know around the 10 week mark I felt rubbish.

Righty ho - bed. Just converted the buggy as Verity has already outgrown the cot bit! Shall set about making it more suitable for her tomorrow - poor little thing is only 3.5 mths - not her fault she's so blinkin LONG!

Well my friend who I am staying with made me go to the doctors today and I am back on anti depressants hey ho took first one this afternoon just to get started and crashed out for 4 hours Sue tried to wake me but she could not.

Hope the tablets kick in soon kaz1967. Did your GP say it's PND or depression by itself? Anti-D's are certainly nothing to be worried by although I think I remember you saying that you'd had them before. I do hope that you're feeling back to your usual self kaz. You've had a lot going on with moving at the end of your pregnancy and sorting out your house in Bristol and not forgetting, lovely kezzy ((hug))

Darn it, missed the politics thread on here last night. It was bound to follow poo, religion and education (as night follows day). Well, by my estimations, that makes us round to 'sex' by now. Or money. I've not got much of either going on in my life at the moment so over to you girls.........................

MW just been and gone. Flossy has put on 6oz's in 6 days so not bad really. Just short of 7lbs now. Might even be able to get her into some of the many clothes she has very soon

kaz sorry to hear your not feeling well, hope the anti Ds pick you up soon. At least you have a good friend to give you a nudge when she sees you are not right. Just be extra kind to yourself for a while - its so much harder doing the new new baby thing on your own. I was thinking last night how much our LO ties both me and the OH up at the moment and how much tougher it would be if I had to do it all. At least you know that Kezzy is thriving take care xx

Can anyone advise me about this hungry baby formula that you can get nowadays? My LO is indeed a hungry baby and is feeding every hour and a half during the day (although not at night thank god!) Should I get some of this stuff or is one week old too young?

dearest kaz hope you are feeling brighter today. I have made a lemon drizzle cake so I send you some via the intergalactic highway to cheer you. I have 2 mum friends coming over this afternoon with thier little ones so should be madness. I have even made teddy bear shaped biscuits for the children. I am earth mother.

On the subject of schools I am with JJ. I actually went to a 'faith' school.. hahaha fat lot of good it did me. I'm totally unreligous but will cram DS like a goose for fois gras to try and get him into a grammar or CofE school. And yes - I'd sleep with the headmaster or indeed the headmistress if needs be . If he goes to Croydon comp I may as well buy him his first knife now. Fisher Price 'My First Knife for 12m+'.....

mrsboogie don't know about the hungry formula but for DS who was 8lb 11 at birth and very hungry. I breast fed for about 2 months exclusively and then felt utterly ravaged he was such an avid feeder. I needed a break so used to supplement with formula which DH gave him so it was a huge help. Just one bottle a day (last thing at night) was what I did and then a bit later I made it two which stuck for a good while. Heath visitor told me that Apatmil (which happens to be the most expensive!) was considered the closest to breast milk and the best and I also used those tommee tippee Closer to Nature bottles and DS went between the bottle and the boob no problem. It's all individual - but that's what I did if it's any help.

Oh I just realised your bubba is 1 week. Dunno. They say you shouldn't start a bottle for 1 month if you can help it so that baby gets totally used to breast feeding and the nipple first otherwise it may not go back to the boob. I know how hard it is though....

mrsboogie I'd ask your MW or HV to be sure but, if he's not satisfied, I'd try the next formula on. If say you're using SMA, then you'd go to the White cap from the Yellow cap. Not sure what it is for Cow & Gate (although I use C&G I'm on Nutriprem 2 for prem babies).

Get one a couple of the ready made up cartons and see how he fares on it

Midwife has just left after my lengthy booking in. Listing my several children probably took up most of the time. Wish they would come to my house for all my appointments.

Can't decide whether my favourite part of the appointment was where she asked if dh and I were brother and sister - yes, that question is on the form - or when she talked about sex during pregnancy saying (and try and do this in her African accent) 'a man has needs and if he doesn't get it at home , he will go elsewhere for it and if he has to go elsewhere he might not come back.' Priceless!

JJ I'm not exactly feeling rubbish it's just that my bed and I seem to have some strange magnetic attraction for one another. Am sitting on it at the mo and will come back to it with a sandwich shortly.

Poor Elizabeth is miserable today due to the copious amounts of snot streaming from her nose. I run for tissues every time she sneezes but she usually manages to smear it across her face and hair before I reach her. She's been on the antibiotics since monday so I assume her ear and throat are better but the cold is boring. Supposed to be visiting friend with 3 yr old and 2 month old baby this afternoon, guess it might be polite to ask if they still want us to come. I was looking forward to getting out of the house.

Awww kaz1967 you make sure you take special care of yourself especially till the ADs kick in. Like everyone has said here - you've had SO much going on in your life at the moment it must feels as though you're walking on quicksand. Plus you're doing a sterling 24hr job with the lovely Kezzy so remember to take as much help as is offered. Feel free to off-load here at anytime - we all do BIG cyber hugs - oh and a nice House of Fraser muffin your way over the internet airwaves!

mrsboogie all I know about hungry formula is that my mates said it didn't work. They all ended up just giving another bottle straight after. There's probably a growth spurt going on....I believe some babies go nuts to put on weight at the beginning. Verity was like that - stuck to me literally 24 hours she was - lasted about a week.

ladymac ROFL at the nurse's comment. OMG - that is just wrong! But damm funny. So - you'd better remember her wise words and make sure you grant DH his every wish

Hope you get out this afternoon...can't you just polish off the snot from Elizabeth's nose?!

Went to the farm this morning - Iris really doesn't like goats. How do you explain goats....'like sheep only with a beard?'

ladymac I don't recall any of those questions nor advice about DH straying if he got no conjugals at home. I think she's just perverted and wants to know what goes on in your bedroom. As for brother and sister Dare I ask if you live in Somerset? I know that it goes on a lot down there but otherwise, see my comment above. She's a freak of nature and I'd report her.

Hmm snot sounds nice. DSS has snot over all of his school jumper cuffs at the mo. Why waste a hankie when the sleeve is nearer?

Asked MW this morning about the green poo episode (it's gone now, back to mustard). She said could be wind. And K is mightily windy indeed. Her farts can be heard from miles around. Off to buy some Infocol but doubt it'll work. I'm told it takes 3 days to start working - it surely can't take that long to work through a baby's intestines can it? After that I'm off to ram raid the chemists for big list of repeat prescriptions. Meh.

NEWSFLASH: Green & Blacks. Big bar. £1.00. Morrison's.

My knees buckled as I carried mine back to the car...........

hmmm no morrisons near me. M and S are doing half price boxes of their choccies so I informed OH that these had to be purchased as it is practically the law that I must be spoilt rotten with choccies and cake for week. Also discovered yet another new Marks' cake - hazelnut and caramel. Now ladies, does that not sound ickily fab? Will report back on how it tastes as soon as I have had my gob round a slice.

Well we managed the walk into town avec sprog today. Set off at 12.30 to meet OH's mum and went for a nice sit down and coffee in a baby friendly bar/restaurant. Had to poke Darragh awake at about 2.30 to give him some feed and apart from that he slept throughout until we got back at 5 (whereupon I immediately conked out on the sofa -I haven't walked that far in absolutely ages).

jw if Katherine is on meds could that not account for vivid green poo?