Is one large glass of wine every other night whilst pg ok, or not?

[AuntieSocial]

and if your friend was drinking this much, would you say something, or not?

If she is noticably tipsy after a glass then it might be a problem but otherwise its not

she's probably not doing any harm drinking at that level and I wouldn't say anything. It might not be everyone's idea of acceptable but its usually only alcoholics who damage their babies by drinking a lot when pregnant.

Having said that, it is a wee bit regular and like someone pointed out the temptation is to finish the bottle (or finish it the next night). If she was drinking a bottle a night it would be very different and then I would think carefully about raising the subject. If you appear to be criticising her she must just stop drinking in front of you - if you do say something you need to do it in a non critical way.

perhaps its veyr light wine, rose?

and it is probably with a meal?

It really fucks me right off that so many people think they should be able to stick their beaks into someone else's business!!

The fact that this woman jokingly says "ooh, naughty pregnant woman drinking" means she KNOWS it's something she should be considering. She is saying it probably because she knows that you are thinking it. But quite frankly the fact that she continues to do it, probably means she doesn't give a toss what anyone else thinks.

I know the official advice is NO alcohol, but I'm still having the odd one every now and then. And before I found out I was PG I was probably drinking more than your friend (we were on holiday for 10 days and I must have had a couple of units each day, never got drunk, but had enough). If your friend is aware of the advice, she has probably weighed up the pros and cons and come to her own conclusion

Z.x

Right, thanks for that HuwEdwards, very balanced of you.

For what it's worth - I have no idea if it's a problem or not, hence me asking on here. We have been close friends for years and I like to think that if I was doing something that could damage my unborn baby she would tell me - if she was eating liver every night because her shitty midwife hadn't warned her about it (which, btw, she hadn't) would I be sticking my beak in too?

hmm, alcohol is a different subject to liver and blue cheese though isnt it?

tell her from us it is ok

but basically don't worry about it

is it her second?

but from the remarks she's making, she
obviously knows - can't you see that?

I get so heated about this because it just seems to me that when a woman gets pregnant, suddenly she's everyone's property and eveyone has a right to judge about what she should and shouldn't be doing.

Drove me mad when I was up the duff.

Get mad all you like Huw, but it's quite clear from my posts that I'm not judging her. I don't even know if the level she's drinking is a problem or not, that's why I'm asking!!! That's why I haven't judged her or stuck my beak in or anything else.

Thank you to the majority of posters on here who have put my mind at rest that it's nothing to worry about.

theres nothing wrong with being concerned for your friend or seeking advice on whether you should be concerned. The whole alcohol in pregnancy debate is a minefield and quite an emotive issue - its hard to know what the facts are when you get assailed on all sides by different versions of the facts.

not trying to nettle you AS honestly, but you are trying to determine whether to advise her to modify her behaviour, so I do think you are judging her.

I have PMT so am a bit feisty today...

Nobody's business but hers! How rude to even think you should say something!

Message withdrawn

There seems to be a thread every week on alcohol and pregnancy. We all know the official advice varies between two units a day being fine and avoiding it altogether, esp in first trimester. In practice, as with all the frankly confusing and contradictory advice in pregnancy, we all make a judgement call on what feels right for us. I'm very happy having a glass of wine with dinner two or three nights a week while pg. DH wouldn't let me have any more even if I wanted it, which I don't. If ANYONE else commented, however, on me drinking I would be very pissed off and feel judged, and I'm glad you feel reassured enough not to do this with your friend, AuntieSocial.

I think too much but would find it v hard to say anything tbh

Starlight - get real. Did you not see the videos shown on the news 2 or 3 years ago where they filmed babies inside the womb, showing how they reacted when the mother had some alcohol? I don't think you'd get a reaction like that from sleeping with a pillow .

can't sleep please have a look at the link in my earlier post. Even a website that recommends abstaining totally cannot provide any evidence that 2 units a day does ANY HARM AT ALL

I wouldnt drink that much, but don't feel its any of my business if a friend; close or not wishes too.

I am surprised by the stong reaction of people on here to the OP. A very large glass is at least 3 units, a small glass is 2. 3-4 units a day is the max recommended amout for non-pg women with 16 units a week in total, she is getting quite close to this. If she is having a large glass every other day that is 12 units a week or possibly more if the wine is strong. That is not exactly the occassional glass.

Now whilst I agree that its completely the womans choice if she chooses to drink in pg and I would def not tell her she shouldn't, if it was a close friend of mine I would probably point out how many units she was drinking. Not in a nasty or judgemental way but I think I would have to say something. It seems obvious on here that many people do not seem to have a clue how much alcohol there is in a large glass, people keep saying its 2 units when it could be twice that amount, so maybe she doesn't realise quite how much she is drinking? She could be horrified that a standard pub large is a 1/3 of a bottle of wine so abotu 4 units. She could also say she does know but has decided to do it anyway, which is fine, her decision.

Since when is it rude to discuss this sort of thing with a close friend? I talk about far worse and personal things with my close friends and none would ever take offence. Thats why you're close friends, you can say what you think to each other!

sorry typo I off course mean 14 units a week is the max recommended limit for non-pg woman!

of course, this whole 'units' and 'safe number of units' thing is relatively arbitrary machination made up by the government.

no one really knows what is safe.

I haven't read any of the replies to this as it is a dodgy topic and my pg hormones might rage out of control.
When I was carrying ds, I had probably 1-2 large glasses maybe twice a week.
I think these days it isn't possible that your friend is unaware of the risks so she has kind of made up her mind as to what she thinks.
Lots of people commented to me about drinking in public (and smoking ) and while it was nice that people were concerned that I was a bit stupid, I always politely replied that I was well aware of the risks, but thank you for checking.
You can mention it, if you're close friends she'll be fine about it, just be careful how you word it all, you don';t want to imply that she's not capable of making her own decisions