it’s becoming difficult to keep up with the questions and comments
I just want to say about the questions financially. The business used to belong to my dad he retired young and handed it over to me. My siblings took no interest in the business and their inheritance is different to mine. I inherited the business which we changed from a petrol station/shop into a repair mot garage. My husband did his training while we still ran it as a petrol station. My dad guided me for a long time. He was successful business man for over 30 years as he also had a sea food business so the monies from that are put into the business now. We also helped run that for many years too and I took all his advice. We do take less salary from the business than we could but my dad did the same and the money was left in the business and passed down to me. I also intend to do the same.
before my dad sadly passed away he bought my family home. I have no mortgage or rent to pay. This makes a huge difference financially. The business that I now own has its own home attached where my mam and dad lived mortgage free as well. My dad advised me before he passed that he wanted me to hold onto my home and when the time was right to sell it and move into the property based at the business. This would mean the money from the sale of my home will be money in the pot for my retirement or to help with university fees if that’s what any of my children wanted to do. However my daughter has already decided she doesn’t want to go university. The property at the business is also a four bed but it has massive amounts of space so could be converted into something bigger in the future when the children are teens and because the dwelling at the business belongs to the business it means any major work can legally be paid for with funds from the business. I can’t imagine my daughter will be living at home by that point although she knows there’s always room for her with us if she wanted. I’d never hurry her.
the business, the land, the properties, the money in the bank accounts and stock if I sold it all I would be worth over 700,000 pounds. Plus my own savings and private pension on top of that. My dad told me if the business is no longer working for us just to sell it all, not to cling on and risk losing everything. And I won’t. I’m fifth generation of my family to own this land and business and although It’s changed a lot over the years it’s still here and I won’t risk losing everything my family has worked for since 1915.
my children spend very little time at the business and when we swap over there here usually 20 mins or so while we have a brief catch up about the business before either one of us heads home with them, the only time they spend more than that is when one of my children goes to boxing practice and the others stay in the office for about an hour. It’s a safe environment away from the mechanics but as the garage has been a big part of our lives a lot of the time the children want to come along with us but we don’t do it often because it’s very difficult to work when you have four children around.
my children want for nothing, they get far more than the basics I can assure you. I just don’t believe in giving everything on a plate. My dad taught me to work hard for what I wanted in life and I made the mistake with my first of giving her too much too soon. Now that she’s older she appreciates the life she’s had with us but at the time I didn’t teach her to put the effort in for the things she wanted in life. Thankfully i as able to turn it around and she’s turned into a hard working young woman with a caring nature. I hope to teach my children the same values my parents taught me.
my children do get one to one time but they also know that the world does not revolve around them. They get individual activity’s as well as joint activities that we pay for. They also have play dates with friends at each others homes. They attend birthday parties individually. They all have different personalities and interests and we encourage that. My children are not treated like a pack of animals that needed to be herded along. They are children with the own strengths and personalities.
some may not believe we mange with out help but assure you we do. We have been doing it a long time. My children aren’t just fed and watered. They’re loved and cared for. Treated with respect and kindness treated as individuals. My husband is a dab hand at home as well as work which means we have each other to do what is needed to make our large family work. It wouldn’t work if we had set rolls, we just get on and do what needs to be done.
the comment which was suggested big families are weird and are likely to commit abhorrent abuse like some big families on tv was uncalled for. To even suggest that kind of abuse is crazy and I won’t say anymore on the matter. We are also not some strict religious family.
talking about public spending that we take out of the public purse from the nhs and schooling etc. I know a few people have also commented on this. But we have a falling birth rate and aging population. My children will attend school and eventually pay into the system like I do. As a hard working family I plan to instill those same values in my children so they to become productive members of society. They have a better chance when they see their parents working hard for a living.
our days are long but the years are short. It feels like yesterday we were welcoming our first child into our lives and through the past twenty years we’ve supper each other through the highs and lows of life. We’ve grafted hard and proved everyone wrong that a young love can survive. There’s far more wrong going on in the world than a family having 6 children and it totally baffles me that it’s so frowned upon these days.
I would be more than happy for my contributions go to free school clubs and breakfast clubs, help for parents with school clothing when needed. Isn’t that what the system is there for to help people in need? I don’t need the help but if I thought my money was going to help a child have a hot meal at school i certainly wouldn’t begrudge that and some of you that do need to take a good hard look at yourselves.
we have always thought a head always planned always looked at the pros and cons in everything we do and from being a young age he learnt to manage finances. Something I believe children should be taught from a young age. We haven’t been careless we have looked at our circumstances and made decisions: this is the reason why there’s ten years between my first and second child because I wanted to make sure we were secure in what we were doing and that took time.
one thing I can say from this thread is it has ignited a new found fire in my belly to tell people to sod off and mind their own damn business. I think it will always be harder when you hear nasty comments on judgement from people closer to you but like some have said it’s no one else’s business and no one really sees the whole picture. some people have said they came from a big family and hated it others said they loved it. You can’t assume anything and if our track record is anything to go by I’m pretty confident that we will raise happy well adjusted children.
anyway thanks for the responses I didn’t except it to get so much discussion