Am bloody knackered - trying to think of ways to get help - or should I just tough it out?

[FrannyandZooey]

I am coming up to 38 weeks pg and suddenly feel crashingly tired all the time
just taking ds to nursery leaves me feeling like I want a lie down
I have managed to arrange for some kind of help every day this week (someone to have ds for a couple of hours) but am still feeling daunted by thought of getting through the week
poor dp has been great help and taken over most of cleaning etc, but I am struggling to do ANYTHING
eg breakfast dishes still in sink atm
not much food in house
I can't manage shopping I don't think

anyway what I really feel I need is to just have a couple of days doing NOTHING at all and then I might be able to rally a little
I don't normally feel like this, I like to be doing things and don't like asking for help all the time so I am wondering if I should actually trust my instinct
dp could take time off work but we would obviously miss out on this time when the baby is born, also it is wrong time right now for him to take time off as he is trying to meet targets

oh dear
I am getting some paid help twice this week and I think that is all we can really afford

shall I just shut up whinging and do my best to get on with things or shall I carry on trying to find a way to get more help? I don't know what to do

listen to your body, it is telling oyu something.

When im late pg i too get like this, and get help because i just will not last iyswim.

Parents, friends, nursery, mums at school?

Small point but can you order grocery shopping off the internet? makes a huge difference.

yes dp can do shopping tonight if necessary, or i could get it delivered
I judt don't know what to do about all the other stuff eg looking after ds for the remainder of the day other than the 2/3 hours I have arranged things

I am already using nursery and friends to do this - don;t know where to go from here without dp coming to take over

you have to sleep when ds is elsewhere.

is there a mum at school or nursery who will have him for the remainder of the day? people are quite understading of pg ladies.

I have asked
one friend is having him for a couple of hours, one friend is busy atm, one friend is away, one friend is also pg, etc etc

you can't ask people to have them for the whole day, well we don't anyway

and more than once a week also taking the mick IMO

Definitely do internet grocery shopping. It is well worth it and it won't be forever. I used to do my grocery shopping on the internet and thought I was being incredibly lazy, but looking back, it was when I was in late pregnancy or when my fourth child was a little baby. I mean, FGS! why did I think I was being lazy? I would never internet shop for groceries now. It was just something that got me through that tough time.

I think it is marvellous that someone is having ds for a couple of hours each day this week. DO NOT USE THAT TIME TO CATCH UP WITH HOUSEWORK! Use that time to NAP. With my second, third and fourth pregnancies, I was exhausted like you all the time from about 6 months onwards and I am afraid whoever was the toddler then had to learn to entertain themselves for 2 hours each afternoon while I napped. I know that sounds shocking - mainly they watched videos - but I simply could not stay awake for them.

While you are internet shopping, buy ready meals or lower your standards re what you will cook. Fishfingers etc will not kill anyone if eaten for the next few weeks and will be much quicker and easier to cook.

If you are house proud, lower your standards again, or get a cleaner for the next few weeks. In fact, if you can in anyway afford it, get a cleaner. They will achieve far more than you could in the same period of time.

Good luck with it all. I so remember the exhaustion and the feeling that everything was too hard to do. It will pass!

I've already stopped doing the shopping, the housework and the cooking though

I still feel I can't cope

oh god nanny has just emailed to say she can't have ds tomorrow morning
oh god what timing

What is ds like F&Z? Can you leave him downstairs to entertain himself while you nap or is that a totally mad idea?

What are your arrangements for when you start labour? Is anyone going to come and look after ds then? Any chance of your mother (or someone) coming to stay with you for a few days?

Have you got a travel cot?
I have one up in my living room and when i was pg with ds2 i used to put ds1 in it with the tv on and toys in and have a nap..i felt awful but i know how you mean it just gets so hard.

Could you contact Homestart? They may be able to send someone round to watch DS while you have a snooze or help out in some other way?

Whereabouts are you F&Z (hello from July antenatal by the way!) I bet there is a mumsnetter somewhere close by that would come and entertain your ds whilst you slept and run the hoover round for you. I know I would if I wasn't in exactly the same boat as you (37+2 here and frazzled also)

Franny, just wanted to offer some virtual support. I am 40wks today and had exactly the same thing at around 38wks. Was begging DP not to go to work as I couldn't face getting out of bed, let alone look after a 2 year old all day!

But anyway, the reason I wanted to post is that the feeling really has passed now. I have more energy now than I have done for ages, and things feel so much brighter! The way I got through it was to get cleaning help from an agency (just 2 one off cleans), act completely pathetic with my DP and get him to do EVERYTHING, and resolve not to go out anywhere at all and enjoy being at home doing nothing but reading to DD, folding up laundry with her (on the floor).

It was difficult resigning myself to doing nothing as I usually hate being in the house, but once I'd got over the mental block it really helped.

Hope things improve for you xx

Also agree with previous suggestinos to sleep whenever there is the opportunity, DC nap times, when DP gets in from work, etc. No matter how slovenly it makes you feel

x

I have been feeling the same but I have my groceries delivered and I have a cleaner once a week for an hour and a bit to do both my bathrooms, floors and livingroom which makes a huge difference. I went to bed last night at half 11 and just got up half an hour ago. I say listen to your body as it is telling you to rest. Hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

thanks all
after the nanny cancelled tomorrow I phoned dp and after 10 mins of listening to me snivelling he is on his way home
says he can have a day off tomorrow as well if necessary, I am hoping if I just flop for today and tomorrow I will be able to pull myself together a bit for the rest of the week

your suggestions are all really kind but I feel very embarrassed - I am already leaving almost all the cleaning and so on for dp (have had pelvic pain for a while) and am really not doing very much at all - just gentle things with ds eg walking him to the park
he is 5 so is pretty sensible and helpful but not really ok being left to play on his own for long
he does like listening to story tapes and is doing that now
I would love to put him in a cot for the afternoon definitely good idea for a younger child

minkus hello and thank you for very kind thoughts
I do have friends nearby but it is hard asking sometimes isn't it? also feel bad ds not getting much attention from me so am trying to avoid just dumping him on different people all the time

jivegirl that is GOOD NEWS
if this is temporary I can deal with it, but as usual I am worrying about things that haven't happened yet, and wondering how I can possibly manage if I feel like this for the rest of the pg and go overdue or something
would be a disaster

DG ds is going to stay with a friend round the corner when I'm having the baby. It's quite a big favour so I don't really want to ask her to look after him at other times as well

Didnt realise he was 5..he'd probably object to being stuck in a cot then

dp here, crisis averted
I asked if they had had any problems at work about him going home at such short notice and he said "nah, I just said 'my wife's 8 and a half months pregnant and she won't stop crying. I think I had better go home and see what's up.' "
and they all agreed

F&Z I gave birth 2 months ago at 38weeks and and I felt exactly the`same the two weeks prior. all I did was sleep when dd was having her nap, walk to the local shop for food (waitrose salads galore) and read. must admit dd watched more tv than usual and we were temp staying at late fil's house which was small and had nothing in it to clean. as I am not one for doing nothing it was great that we were there as no temtation whatsoever. mind you dd only 2.8 so maybe easier to entartain. dh was working on our house so always late so no cooking for him.

you have to relax as much as you can as you need all energy after.

HAve you had your iron levels checked recently F&Z?

Whilst it's quite normal to feel like this at 38wks, it might be worth having a few swigs of Floradix?

If you are anything like me, a lot of what is getting you down is the pressure you are putting on yourself to get the house clean and shopping done etc. Internet shopping - it is not lazy, it is a practical solution to a problem. Cleaning - do small bits here and there, rather than doing it in one big binge.

But most importantly, take care of yourself xx

I promise I am not doing any cleaning! Really! I am doing absolutely bugger all and still feel overwhelmed

am not physically on the floor but a nasty combination of feeling tired and also mentally sort of wobbly, I think
I think I could probably pull myself together and get stuff done, from a physical point of view, but I just can't seem to face it, and I keep feeling weepy

had iron levels checked yesterday as was wondering same myself
not got results yet

yup, felt weepy too.

Go with the wobble, sometimes what you need to do is to express the emotion, then after a few days you then get into the 'I need to pull myself together now' phase.

For me, I don't get into the second phase if I don't express the wobble. I hope this makes some sort of sense!