Am bloody knackered - trying to think of ways to get help - or should I just tough it out?

[FrannyandZooey]

I am coming up to 38 weeks pg and suddenly feel crashingly tired all the time
just taking ds to nursery leaves me feeling like I want a lie down
I have managed to arrange for some kind of help every day this week (someone to have ds for a couple of hours) but am still feeling daunted by thought of getting through the week
poor dp has been great help and taken over most of cleaning etc, but I am struggling to do ANYTHING
eg breakfast dishes still in sink atm
not much food in house
I can't manage shopping I don't think

anyway what I really feel I need is to just have a couple of days doing NOTHING at all and then I might be able to rally a little
I don't normally feel like this, I like to be doing things and don't like asking for help all the time so I am wondering if I should actually trust my instinct
dp could take time off work but we would obviously miss out on this time when the baby is born, also it is wrong time right now for him to take time off as he is trying to meet targets

oh dear
I am getting some paid help twice this week and I think that is all we can really afford

shall I just shut up whinging and do my best to get on with things or shall I carry on trying to find a way to get more help? I don't know what to do

yes it does, totally
well, i have expressed the wobble
at length
so will expect miraculous recovery tomorrow

Good to hear you will be pulling your socks up . But hey, you've still got 9 hours left of today.

So, when your dh gets home crack open the hagaan daaz and make yourself comfy on the sofa

he's back
they've gone out
I discovered a box of green and black's chocolates from my birthday last year that I was saving for such an occasion

FandZ Nothing much to add just wanted to say don't tough it out and do get help. I'm about 8 weeks behind you...

I always think of you as the mooncup lady...who knows when I'll next get one of them in without it falling out after this (dc3) is born ...

Enjoy the Green and Blacks and put your feet up

LOL @ mooncup lady - what glamour

right I have spent about 2 hours asleep and now feel vaguely human again
so that's sorted, I just need to go to bed every afternoon

F&Z, that is what I told you earlier! I could not function without my afternoon nap - after the birth too, I hate to tell you.

Anyway, glad the sleep helped. What a fantastic dp you have to drop everything and come home for you. I hope he stays at home tomorrow too, then you will only have 2 days until the weekend.

yes he is going to DG
he is fab
he usually works from home on a Wed so i think he is going to take a half day and let me rest in the morning

I knew you were right about the afternoon sleep but I don't see how I can do it every day I can't sleep if I know ds is coming back in a couple of hours from a friend's house or something - I can't relax, do you know what I mean?

what do you mean you cannot sleep while your ds is out. why not?

even if you can't get to sleep, you will feel better just by having a lie down and relax with your eyes closed.

I know what you mean about the relaxing in to sleep thing BUT you won't need the full 2 hours and as long as you put your head down as soon as he walks out of the door, you'll be fine. I recommend setting an alarm for 10 mins before he's due so that you're waiting for that to wake you rather than him. Also - maybe kip on the sofa instead of in bed?

afternoon naps are great to have when u can get them. ds has a nap for 1hr-1 1/2hrs and i have one too and set my mobile to wake me after an hr. i don't think i could survive without one

I suppose I feel tense about will I manage to get to sleep in time while they are out
feel awkward if they come back and I am still asleep
(also take a while to wake up properly so to be launched back into ds world quite hard)

it would take me a little while to relax and drop off and then it would be time to wake up again, if you see what I mean
it's tricky

i do because I never ever nap. however I forced myself during the two weeks before birth...in preparation and after the first day when it was difficult to drop off, I just couldn't wait. I meant to keep this healthy habit after dd2 was born but didn;t succeed... too many things to do.

At the end of my last pregnancy, when ds1 was 3, we used to snuggle up on the sofa for an hour or so each afternoon and watch a dvd. I would snooze whilst he watched! Could you do that with your ds? He's older, so could have more staying power!

yes perhaps I had better try harder
it's silly to say 'i am tired' and then not try to sleep
sometimes you just want the peace and quiet on your own without anything to do, don't you? and sleeping seems a waste
but will have to be more careful about it this week perhaps

we don't have tv but he will happily listen to a story tape most days for an hour
I do always put my feet up then

was only one layer - long gone

I think lying down is pretty essential at this stage, especially as your body is shouting out for you to do so.

I wouldn't worry about whether you sleep in time to avoid grogginess when ds gets home and so on. Grogginess will pass with a cold flannel, soome verbena spray and a cup of tea. The tiredness won't, it accumulates.

I used to sleep every afternoon in late pregnancy before collecting dcs from school. Lunch, magazine, close my eyes with feet up. Sometimes I didn't sleep but just being horizontal helped.

I am just finding even being horizontal is not restful
I am quite uncomfortable nearly all the time
sorry for this endless catalogue of moaning
the baby seems vast and I feel tired and sort of breathless even when stationery
ruddy hell what a whinger

stationary?
did I just call myself an envelope?

F&Z - I am about 5 days behind you and feel the exact same, completely drained and exhausted, plus I have the added bonus of SPD so can hardly walk. I have 4 and 2 1/2 yo DDs to look after that don't have afternoon naps oh I have no family help, most of my friends have young DC of their own and DP out the house 12 hours a day

What I have done is:

• only do the absolute basics of housework, leave rest to DP
• if I need to sit or lie down I do it, DDs jump over the top of me
• cbeebies might get 10 mins peace max
• sleep at weekends when DP is here
• DD2 is in nursery 3 mornings a week, DD1 5, I know what you mean about the nursery run wahcking you out, I can't walk there but driving is hard as the right side of my pelvis is completely misaligned now and even driving hurts.
• I have a tesco order delivered on a Saturday so DP is here to put it away
• DP brings in anything else from work

Feel stir crazy as have hardly been out in weeks though.

oh bless you sweet kitty that sounds so hard
we will be holding our babies soon, just hang on in there

trying to rest all the time is very dull isn't it? never thought I would complain about having to lie down a lot, but it does make you feel stuffy and frustrated
thank god for MN

F&Z, just resting (lying back on a sofa if you don't find lying flat comfortable - of course you don't, you are 38 weeks pg!) with your eyes shut and perhaps some relaxing music on low will help you.

I know what you mean about not being able to sleep. I used to fret about it too and spend all the time eyeing the clock to see how much longer I had left! but if you rest, that will help too.

I have had years of sleeping in the afternoon and needing to be awake by a certain time. The best thing to do is set the alarm for about 15 minutes before you need to get up. That gives you time to recover. I know that horrid groggy feeling after a nap too and I found 15 minutes was about right. You could also try taking a drink with you (water or juice, not alcohol!) for you to have on waking/rising.

Another thought: an old friend of dh's was in the army. He said that power naps of no more than 20 minutes are what soldiers were encouraged to take in the middle of the day. Any longer than 20 minutes and apparently you fall into deeper sleep and that is what makes you groggy on waking. So perhaps you should aim just to rest with some music and dim lights and maybe your body will just take the odd few minutes sleep?

Oh and don't feel you should do something useful with the time you have when ds is out. There is nothing more useful you can do with that time than rest!

thank you DG
you must be expert at this!