OMG! I've just realised that I took my clothes off in full view of a whole bank of flats opposite -skirt, bra, shirt, everything but knickers and vest top - and used the breast pump. I'm just not used to being overlooked so when I turned the lights on I totally forgot to close the curtains. The Chinese aren't too bothered about privacy so none of them have their curtains closed and probably got a real eyeful. Have just crawled over tiled floor on hands and knees to close curtains. How can I make this unhappen?!
Moving on. Sorry for absence again. As you've probably realised from the above, we've now moved into a serviced apartment near the hospital. Contrary to what they told us, the internet connection was not ready when we moved in and we've just got it today. We've been able to check our email on and off by pirating someone else's unsecured wireless connection, but it's been really unstable and always went off when I wanted to post.
Our daughter now has a first name - Eva (going with Ey-va as pronunciation, not Ee-va). We'd always liked it but when we remembered it meant "life" it just seemed so appropriate. If she'd been born in China she would never have made it.
I think things are going quite well. I say think because I've been too scared to read up on the subject. This is totally unlike me - I usually inform myself obsessively - but I have a sense that if I know too much I will always be expecting the worst instead of staying positive.
As of today Eva has reached her birthweight again and beaten it by 1g (she's now 1.15), and with the exception of a blip earlier this week has had her milk increased by 1ml per hour every day. She's now on 6ml per hour and is tolerating it quite well. The nurses tell me her blood gases are good and that her kidneys and heart are working properly. But but but, they keep emphasising how small she is and that her condition can change at any moment, so I'm on tenterhooks.
JW when you said once how annoyed you were that they had done some tests on Katherine without telling you, I was really outraged - totally on the same page with you. In HK they do it all the time and I've surprised myself by being quite pleased because then I don't have a chance to worry in advance. They even did the brain scan without telling me. I thought, I really should be angry, but just felt relief I didn't know. I'm turning into a different person!
My milk hasn't come - I pump every three or four hours throughout the day and night and am enjoying fenugreeky burps (not) - but still only get drops. Very frustrated. I know how important breast milk is for her and I'm starting to lose faith that I can do it.
I did read up on the Kangaroo care JW and Kaz - thanks for the links - and I really want to do it. I'm desperate to hold her plus it might help my milk to come. They won't hear of it here though - they keep telling me that it might disturb the cpap which I think is kind of missing the point - culturally they really like to keep total control and they're so great in every other way I don't know how far to push.
Anyway, that's all for now. Sorry it's all me me me, now that I'm connected again I'll try to engage in the topics at hand like a normal person.