How old were you when you had your first baby?

[ForeverHopeful3]

I am 33F, yearning, hoping, praying for a husband and family one day. But alas, here I am, as single as a Pringle, after calling it quits like 6ish months ago with my ex.

I am low-key scared that I am going to be too old to have kids or have a really difficult pregnancy because of my age. And I want two kids, at least O.O

I was on dating apps for a while after the breakup, went out on a few decent dates but eventually deleted all my profiles after getting fed up with all the losers on them.... SIGH I guess I will give OLD another try soon. Maybe it will be better now that the the breakup is more of a distant memory.

Armt they now saying that it's men's sperm that deteriorates and not womens eggs? ( I could be wrong on that )

I'd not fret too much yet, my sister had her first baby earlier this year and she's 34. My other sister had her first baby at 30. I had my first at 21.

I have a friend who had a baby at 41

All healthy

I had my one & only 6 weeks before I was 38, I had 2 miscarriages the year before, 2 more at 40 & 42, all before 8 weeks, I got pregnant again at 44 but sadly lost my little girl at 16 weeks. I had never used contraception from meeting exh age 35 & realised getting pregnant is harder than you think. At your age I didn't even want children, it wasn't until I had my first miscarriage when I didn't even know I was pregnant until the miscarriage started that I realised that maybe children was something I really wanted.

More replies from a recent thread

also here and here

I was 27, but my closest friends were

30 (had more children at 32 & 38)
34 - only child, got pregnant first try
35 (got pregnant quickly, had a second at 39 also quickly)
36 (took a year to conceive, but healthy pregnancy & baby)
41 (had an early miscarriage at 40, then got pregnant again quickly and had her only)
42 (after 3 rounds of IVF)

19 with my first snd 24 with my second.

18 20 22 28 29 last baby they are almost 20 18 15 10 and 11

I was 24.

42, then 45.

I was 24 first one and our youngest I've just had at 41 twins

I was 25, now 28 and having trouble falling pregnant again

24. Have you tried Hinge? Its not easy but OLD can be a good experience also I have a friend that is 35 met a good man, pregnant and married him.

I’m 32 and pregnant with my first (will be 33 at birth). But lots of my friends are pregnant/had babies in their late 30s, don’t think it’s particularly unusual these days.

16

27, DH and I had been trying a couple of years by the time I actually got pregnant.

You’re not too old though I know a lot of people who didn’t meet their partner till mid/late thirties and then had a couple of children

28 & 30 would you consider IVF and freezing your embyos ? Or donor sperm. Or a nice ( and willing) male friend ?

38

21,25,33

Met DH at 35. Had DD1 at 38 took 3 months to conceive. Lost DD2 at 21 weeks when I was 41. Non age related issues and pregnancy had been pretty perfect until that point.

I could have written this 7 years ago.

I spent 3 fucking years OLD.

I wanted to meet someone and wanted a family but if I was doing it I wanted "the whole package" (ie conventional set up with a good father and husband, ivf as a single woman and raising a child solo was something I considered but not something I wanted). If you thinknyiy do get started now. Today.Eggs have much lower success rate than embryos and that combined with the health implications / damage led me to decide against it.

(Non smugly) i now have a (IMO) very nice husband we have the nice house and 2 healthy (and imo delightful) children i had them aged 38 (took 4 m) and 40 ( first try!).

It can be done.
My advice in short.

• Treat dating as a part time job - I did 16-20 hrs pw.
• dont have stupid criteria - my dh is 6 yrs younger and short 5"6.
• do have good sensible criteria that afters for a life partner. Making me laugh was critical and after farting around i knew as someone who was quite bright and ambitious i needed an intectual match. He is oxford educated and knocking on the door of c suite at 36 (although when I met him honestly he was 28 and doing not too much of anything.)
• if you think its a red flag it is -cut them loose asap.
• virtually every separated guy is a waste of your time. You are just collateral damage in the show that is his failed marriage. Avoid.

• even the LT divorced are often scared / hesitant ans dare I at it dont like women very much. I sure there are good ones out there. I necer found one so stopped dating divorced guys 18m in.

• if you are checking WA red receipts and sick with excitement... He isnt your future DH.
• if time flies when you are with him and it just feels "nice" and "pleasant" (sounds boring but isnt) and you are meeting up regularly and it all just seems "easy and nice" THIS is the guy.
• be upfront about what you want and dont be shy. I was clear i was looking for a LT relationship leading to marriage and maybe children. My dh was 28 and his longest "relationship" about about 10 weeks. He was looking for similar and understood we were on a clock due to my age. He really liked me and was careful not to mess me around.
• when not doing my PT job OLD! I planned for the eventuality I might NOT meet someone and invested heavily in my own life. Friends, my own health, my family etc. By the time I met my dh i knew id be okay either way.

Sorry for the mini novel but I hope its useful.

42 and pregnant with my first baby having been single on my 40th birthday. I had a good think in my late thirties as a few friends were having babies with sperm doners and decided I only wanted to have children with the right man. I’m so glad I didn’t compromise. As another poster said, don’t have silly criteria: my partner is 5ft 7, 6 years younger than me and the loveliest man I’ve ever met. Feeling very smug at all the women who swiped past him because he was too short. My final suggestion is therapy: in my case my own issues and mindset had been getting in the way of meeting someone. Good luck, it is not an easy time I grant you!

I was 21 and had been married for 2 years ! ( not married now )

23, 27, 31, I was lucky to meet my husband at the age I did, we were (still are) old souls, middle aged from birth sorts. If I hadn't have met him I doubt I'd have children at all.

35 and 38. Weirdly enough the second was far far easier to conceive.

I felt like you at 32 so I get it. I had told myself that I’d go it alone if no husband on the horizon by 34.

I adopted a baby when I was 30 so that was technically my first baby but my first pregnancy leading to a baby was 40 then again at 45. All gorgeous children.