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Original poster

How old were you when you had your first baby?

109 replies

ForeverHopeful3 · 30/10/2025 02:19

I am 33F, yearning, hoping, praying for a husband and family one day. But alas, here I am, as single as a Pringle, after calling it quits like 6ish months ago with my ex.

I am low-key scared that I am going to be too old to have kids or have a really difficult pregnancy because of my age. And I want two kids, at least O.O

I was on dating apps for a while after the breakup, went out on a few decent dates but eventually deleted all my profiles after getting fed up with all the losers on them.... SIGH I guess I will give OLD another try soon. Maybe it will be better now that the the breakup is more of a distant memory.

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greglet · 30/10/2025 10:50

I was 37 - had three miscarriages prior to that. Currently 40 and 22 weeks with number 2 (I’ll still be 40 when she’s born!).

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/10/2025 10:53

I rushed into having a baby with a man I met at 34 thinking my time was running out … pregnant at 35, split up age 36 and single mum at 36. Got pregnant immediately first time trying.
go an get a fertility check up and consider freezing your eggs rather than rushing into baby with wrong man!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/10/2025 10:55

january1244 · 30/10/2025 10:10

37 and 39, and considering a third when I will be 41. I didn’t have any issues in conceiving. Some of my friends still haven’t yet, but are planning to in late thirties and early forties. I think I saw a stat that 50% of women 41-44 will have a baby within a year of trying, which surprised me. But if I look back on my family tree, before contraception was readily available, people had babies into their forties.

Hopefully it’ll happen for you sooner, but I know that feeling of panic. There’s a lot of positive stories on this thread, and good advice

That’s reassuring! I think it’s 85% for women age 38 too

mit123 · 30/10/2025 10:57

21 with my first and 34 with my last

Neurodiversitydoctor · 30/10/2025 11:02

JaneEyre40 · 30/10/2025 09:44

How would it have worked if they weren't willing? 🤔

Show quote history

It obviously wouldn't have. Just my personal preference to have a baby with a known and trusted person than using donor sperm.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/10/2025 11:06

I was 33, we met just before I turned 30 and were married in-between. Last two at just shy of 38. My friend had her only at 39. Other friend was 39 and 40. I had help but I've always needed help. Friends were all natural. At 33 I was actually the first in my friendship groups bar one who got married straight out of Uni and had hers nearly a decade before the rest of us

Whyjustwhy83 · 30/10/2025 11:12

33 with 1st 2nd 40 and 3rd 42

Pennyroses · 30/10/2025 11:19

I had my first at 20! Then 2 more by 25. Split with my ex partner in 2017 when I was 31. Stayed single for 5 years, finally got on the dating apps and met my partner at age 36 through tinder!! He didn't have any kids but really wanted them and I was very open to another so we started trying straight away. Got pregnant after 7 months but unfortunately lost our little girl at 19 weeks 😞 tried again and after a few more early losses I'm now 21 weeks pregnant at 39 with another little girl 💗 So I would definitely say don't worry, you have time and you never know how quickly your life will turn around!! It just takes the right one showing up. I was on the apps for a year before my partner turned up, and I just knew he was the one pretty quickly!! x

BeckyBloom · 30/10/2025 11:21

33 and 38

chouxchoux · 30/10/2025 13:31

I met my OH at 31 and we are expecting twins next May. I'll be 33 (almost 34) at delivery.

Edit: without wanting to be insensitive to those on difficult journeys, we conceived first cycle trying (chemical) and the second (current live pregnancy).

malimoon · 30/10/2025 13:33

Had my first and so far only child last year, a week before my 39th birthday. It took my partner and I about six months to conceive and the pregnancy was uncomplicated. I feel lucky but age is just one factor - several of my friends had children at a similar age but equally I know others who went through IVF much younger.

Btowngirl · 30/10/2025 13:37

30 but my wife was 37 & she gave birth. I gave birth to our second at 33. Id personally get my fertility checked if I were you, costs about £500 & at least you’ll know where you’re at!

BlackStrayCat · 30/10/2025 13:50

37
sister:45

Dolphindances · 30/10/2025 14:06

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 30/10/2025 06:45

I could have written this 7 years ago.

I spent 3 fucking years OLD.

I wanted to meet someone and wanted a family but if I was doing it I wanted "the whole package" (ie conventional set up with a good father and husband, ivf as a single woman and raising a child solo was something I considered but not something I wanted). If you thinknyiy do get started now. Today.Eggs have much lower success rate than embryos and that combined with the health implications / damage led me to decide against it.

(Non smugly) i now have a (IMO) very nice husband we have the nice house and 2 healthy (and imo delightful) children i had them aged 38 (took 4 m) and 40 ( first try!).

It can be done.
My advice in short.

  • Treat dating as a part time job - I did 16-20 hrs pw.
  • dont have stupid criteria - my dh is 6 yrs younger and short 5"6.
  • do have good sensible criteria that afters for a life partner. Making me laugh was critical and after farting around i knew as someone who was quite bright and ambitious i needed an intectual match. He is oxford educated and knocking on the door of c suite at 36 (although when I met him honestly he was 28 and doing not too much of anything.)
  • if you think its a red flag it is -cut them loose asap.
  • virtually every separated guy is a waste of your time. You are just collateral damage in the show that is his failed marriage. Avoid.
  • even the LT divorced are often scared / hesitant ans dare I at it dont like women very much. I sure there are good ones out there. I necer found one so stopped dating divorced guys 18m in.
  • if you are checking WA red receipts and sick with excitement... He isnt your future DH.
  • if time flies when you are with him and it just feels "nice" and "pleasant" (sounds boring but isnt) and you are meeting up regularly and it all just seems "easy and nice" THIS is the guy.
  • be upfront about what you want and dont be shy. I was clear i was looking for a LT relationship leading to marriage and maybe children. My dh was 28 and his longest "relationship" about about 10 weeks. He was looking for similar and understood we were on a clock due to my age. He really liked me and was careful not to mess me around.
  • when not doing my PT job OLD! I planned for the eventuality I might NOT meet someone and invested heavily in my own life. Friends, my own health, my family etc. By the time I met my dh i knew id be okay either way.

Sorry for the mini novel but I hope its useful.

Edited

I would agree with all of this advice

I was single ans on dating apps 31-35
met my now husband at 35 engaged at 36 and married at 37 now expecting first baby at 38

LindorDoubleChoc · 30/10/2025 14:10

38 years and 3 months. Had second two weeks before my 41st birthday.

Fallenangel2014 · 30/10/2025 14:10

I had my first at 37 and my second at 40.

you still have time OP.

LightUpLavender · 30/10/2025 14:12

36 and 40 - ivf involved in both pregnancies and all embryos create at 35. It was all harder with my second but both babies healthy.

EveningSpread · 30/10/2025 14:15

bobcat1987 · 30/10/2025 04:21

18 20 22 28 29 last baby they are almost 20 18 15 10 and 11

If you were born in 1987, I’m only 2 years younger and I have a one year old! How different!!!

Cloudyonasunnyday · 30/10/2025 14:17

28 then 37

ninjahamster · 30/10/2025 14:17

24, 25, 27, 30.

partytimed · 30/10/2025 14:21

32 with first and 39 with second got pregnant after about 5 months trying each time

OrdinaryGirl · 30/10/2025 14:21

First baby at 36, then at 39 I had twins naturally, the first month of TTC. 🤷🏼‍♀️ All healthy. I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to have children, and terrified myself to death with reading about ‘plummeting fertility’ and ‘cliff edge of 35’.

DH, with his usual infernal reasonableness, pointed out that there are plenty of women having kids easily and naturally in their late 30s and early 40s, but they don’t tend to write about it on the internet. Partly because if they did, they would sound smug and like they were crowing to women who were struggling, and partly because people don’t tend to burst into posting on fertility forums when their lives are tootling along happily with the babies they’ve conceived quickly and without assistance. Dude’s got a point.

Wishing you all the best, OP. May a wonderful partner come your way and may you have all the lovely babies your heart desires. 💖

weegiemum · 30/10/2025 14:26

I was 29, 31 and 32 when I had my 3. Pregnant within a matter of weeks with the first 2, had a mirena in with the 3rd. Dh got a vasectomy after that!

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 30/10/2025 14:42

33 having first baby, almost 37 having second. Conceived 3rd month on both. Healthy pregnancies, no issues. I know quite a few people who are based in London having their first babies at 37/38.

showberners · 30/10/2025 14:45

17 & 22