Do i ask him not to go? AIBU?

[rarebreed]

Hi, i'm just looking for a bit of advice really, not sure if IABU?

OH has booked a fishing holiday in France, he will be at a lake which is about 4 hours drive from Calais.He booked the holiday along with a couple of friends about 9 months ago.

The problem is that i am now pregnant with PFB, and my due date is 2 weeks after he arrives back from France.

Would it be unreasonable to ask him not to go? I have a feeling he will go mad if i ask him not to, he's been looking forward to it for months etc. etc. He will probably just brush it off and say, no you'll be fine, you won't go into labour early

What would you do? Thanks in advance!

. i'm so sorry for the situation you are in. i think i would be suggesting that he should f**k off to france and stay there by now, if i were in your shoes.

and i agree with the posters who say you should find somebody else to be your birth partner.

Or you could smile sweetly and say yes, you understand totally. That you have thought long and hard and, to allay your own fears, you are going to organise a new birth partner. Having gone through so much thinking, you actually feel more comfortable with the idea of that chosen person being there regardless of whether or not he is able to be.

I don't know how you feel, but I couldn't be so vulnerable (giving birth and baring my bits and pieces) in front of someone that had really hurt me / was being so disrespectful and unsupportive.....

ok I showed this thread to my DH for a male opinion and he says in all honesty he is not sure from what the OP has said that she has actually sat down with her DH and explained clearly what her issues are. He pointed out that men don't react well to over-emotion, not talking, the word "fine" and crying or reading womens minds. He's not saying the OH husband isn't being a little unreasonable it's just that she might not have approached this the best way and the husband might have his back up because of this and now is just digging his heels in. He also pointed out the amount of healthy first-timers who do deliver at 37 weeks is TINY and if she feels he wants her at home because it's not fun being pregnant at 37 weeks etc then she needs to tell him that not to just focus on the birth.

just to clarify, i would be suggesting that he makes his trip to france a long one not because of the baby - the regret he might feel later for deciding to go fishing instead of welcoming his child to the world would be a matter for him, and the baby isn't going to remember - but because choosing to prioritise fishing over being there for a partner who is going through something as potentially traumatic and dangerous as giving birth - well, i wouldn't risk leaving my partner alone to deal with something so huge, if i were in his position. even if the chances of the timing working out that way were very small.

but it may be that he hasn't thought of it like that, it's not as though we tend to dwell on the potential dangers inherent in the process, is it?

Rarebreed - How are you getting on with this?