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Original poster

1 year old not allowed into scan appt - no childcare

127 replies

Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:30

Hi

I have my dating and screening scan booked for the end of August. I have recently been made aware that my one year old won’t be allowed into the scan appt in the imaging dept. Which means that I will be alone (Dh will have to look after baby - we have no support/childcare)

I’ve had 2 miscarriages this year before this current pregnancy and I’m a nervous wreck so the thought of being alone fills me with dread. I need to go to the scan, so I’m really not sure what to do? Has anyone else been in this situation?

thank you x

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Cinai · 09/07/2025 12:32

Could you start looking for babysitters now? You might need some as hoc babysitting also further down the line, appointments, birth etc

Loveduppenguin · 09/07/2025 12:35

The end of august is ages away…you could find someone now and build up a relationship with them fur then. It wouldn’t be fair to your DC to have them in the room either if the scan doesn’t go to plan.

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:35

I’ve asked a friend if she can have my baby for the scan but it’s at 9am and will take us an hour to get there (all other hospitals closer are so incompetent it’s shocking. Our chosen one isn’t much better but not much choice).

but yes you’re right and dh and I just discussed this but I started thinking what if I go into labour in the middle of the night. We can’t just call a baby sitter and expect them to drop everything or come over in the night. My mind is spiralling.

OP posts:
SErunner · 09/07/2025 12:35

Well, everyone with two children has?! Is there really no one else you can leave him with? Could you get him used to a particular babysitter now and pay someone to sit with him for a few hours? Otherwise, yes you’ll have to go alone. I understand the anxiety but there is good reason children aren’t allowed in and it’s not fair to expect to be an exception. It won’t change the outcome of the scan although appreciate getting bad news on your own isn’t fun.

Your other option would be to book a private scan the week before so you can be assured things are okay. They are usually less restrictive about other children attending, although I personally wouldn’t take my younger child to the scan knowing there might be a bad outcome.

needtolose70lb · 09/07/2025 12:36

OK, deep breath. I have been there and it is horrible having a scan post-miscarriage. Your options are really as follows:

  1. Ask a friend or neighbour if they can have your child and spend some time between now and then for your 1 year old to get used to them and vice versa
  2. See if the baby and your husband can wait in the waiting room together. The baby not being in there is so that the the sonographer can focus and give an accurate medical assesment with the scan. If everything is ok then your husband and child might be allowed to come in. If it isn't, he will be close by to support you asap.
  3. Ask if he can be on video call with you. Not the same as holding your hand but means you both get the same information at the same time and he can help you process or question anything that is being told to you.
MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 09/07/2025 12:37

Can your husband and other child come and wait outside the hospital / in the main reception? Then he can be there if you need him.

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:37

Loveduppenguin · 09/07/2025 12:35

The end of august is ages away…you could find someone now and build up a relationship with them fur then. It wouldn’t be fair to your DC to have them in the room either if the scan doesn’t go to plan.

I understand they have this rule for that reason and also needing to concentrate but my husband would take him out if he was crying or causing any disturbance.

he’s only 1 year old so it wouldn’t have so much of an affect in the same way if he was an older child. If something would be wrong I’d want DH there with me.

OP posts:
diterictur · 09/07/2025 12:39

What's your plan for when you go into labour?

I would use this as an opportunity to trial your childcare for that

Christwosheds · 09/07/2025 12:41

I would probably take a close friend in this situation.

LeopardsANeutral · 09/07/2025 12:41

Does your child go to nursery or a childminder? You could ask if they could do an extra day or half day on the date of the scan if so? Who will be looking after your child when you go to give birth? Could you ask them?

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:42

needtolose70lb · 09/07/2025 12:36

OK, deep breath. I have been there and it is horrible having a scan post-miscarriage. Your options are really as follows:

  1. Ask a friend or neighbour if they can have your child and spend some time between now and then for your 1 year old to get used to them and vice versa
  2. See if the baby and your husband can wait in the waiting room together. The baby not being in there is so that the the sonographer can focus and give an accurate medical assesment with the scan. If everything is ok then your husband and child might be allowed to come in. If it isn't, he will be close by to support you asap.
  3. Ask if he can be on video call with you. Not the same as holding your hand but means you both get the same information at the same time and he can help you process or question anything that is being told to you.

They don’t allow children in that department at all, not just not allowed into the room. So he’d not be close by at all.

the hospital where my one year old was born they allowed children in to the scans. I saw one woman with 2 kids, around 2 and 4 years old, with her. It’s such a good hospital but sadly too far away now as we’ve moved since DS was born.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 09/07/2025 12:43

Search for local childminders who might be happy to have your child for the morning. An 8am start or earlier is perfectly normal for a childminder and it being school holidays they might have more flexibility and availability than in term time.

You'll obviously have to pay but it sounds like you would benefit from having a childminder that could help you out at times.

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:44

LeopardsANeutral · 09/07/2025 12:41

Does your child go to nursery or a childminder? You could ask if they could do an extra day or half day on the date of the scan if so? Who will be looking after your child when you go to give birth? Could you ask them?

We discussed this and decided we could call my mother in law who lives a 3.5 hour drive away to come as soon as she can, when I go into labour. It would mean me being on my own for that time but it’s the best we can do. Our neighbours are very weird so will not be asking them. I have friends but I can’t expect them to drop everything particularly if it’s in the night. I’m hoping to get an induction date as I was induced with my son due to GD.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 09/07/2025 12:44

what was going to be your plan for when you go in to actual Labour?

you need a village, and if you don’t have any relatives/friends/neighbours at all who can help you out - then you will need to create one.
because situations like this will be reasonably frequent enough to warrant it over the next 12 years or so.

TheQuietestSpace · 09/07/2025 12:46

You're going to have to find a solution as the answer isn't going to change. And nor should it.

You could pay for a private scan the day before so you're prepared for the outcome. You could find a babysitter - paid for or ask a friend. If 9am is too early for a friend you could call and move the scan to a later time (probably on a different date). Or you go alone.

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:46

diterictur · 09/07/2025 12:39

What's your plan for when you go into labour?

I would use this as an opportunity to trial your childcare for that

It will be Sod’s Law that it would be in the middle of the night. We’re planning on calling my MIL to drive down to us (she’s 3.5 hours away) and see if a friend can help if it’s not in the night. I’ll probably be on my own for a while whatever happens.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:49

arethereanyleftatall · 09/07/2025 12:44

what was going to be your plan for when you go in to actual Labour?

you need a village, and if you don’t have any relatives/friends/neighbours at all who can help you out - then you will need to create one.
because situations like this will be reasonably frequent enough to warrant it over the next 12 years or so.

I have begun to create my little village in my new area. I do have friends I can ask but I don’t want to feel like a burden and they do have their own babies to look after too. I have a complex past and don’t talk to any of my family. Our neighbours are extremely weird so won’t be asking them. Dh family hours away but will ask MIL to drive down when I go into labour

OP posts:
alexalisten · 09/07/2025 12:50

Is it that you dont have anyone or just dont want to ask people. Most people will help where they can friends, family, nursery parents, colleagues. You will need access to some kind of help in emergencies its not just the scan and labour what if you have an emergency at anypoint and have to go to hospital, or a funeral or need surgery etc.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/07/2025 12:51

As long as it’s give and take, you won’t be a burden. I’d try to get some babysitting in for friends in advance to earn yourself a turn!

alexalisten · 09/07/2025 12:51

Just seen your update you need to ask friends and the fact they have baby's is even better as it means you can return the favour

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:52

TheQuietestSpace · 09/07/2025 12:46

You're going to have to find a solution as the answer isn't going to change. And nor should it.

You could pay for a private scan the day before so you're prepared for the outcome. You could find a babysitter - paid for or ask a friend. If 9am is too early for a friend you could call and move the scan to a later time (probably on a different date). Or you go alone.

The private scan thing is a very good idea and one that I think we’ll end up doing. Thank you. I actually looked on their website to see what kind of scans they do as I was trying to see what would be the case if I just went to a private one and refused the NHS one (which I obviously dont want to do - just figuring out all options) but they won’t be able to do a screening test like the NHS

OP posts:
Bitzee · 09/07/2025 12:53

If MIL is up for doing childcare for labour would she be ok doing it for the scan? She could come stay with you the day before or you drop DC to her if she’d rather be at home. It would also be a good idea to have some practice runs before you go into labour so that DC is comfortable being looked after by her so it would serve 2 purposes.

Original poster
Stardust127 · 09/07/2025 12:54

alexalisten · 09/07/2025 12:51

Just seen your update you need to ask friends and the fact they have baby's is even better as it means you can return the favour

Yes I suppose it is. They’re lovely mums and I would absolutely trust them with my baby. My feelings of being a burden and guilt come from a long winded and traumatic past. Something that I can’t imagine ever not suffering from. It’s very difficult.

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 09/07/2025 12:55

If a good friend of mine went into labour in the middle of the night I would 100% look after their DC. It's not as though you'll be asking them massive favours all the time - it's a one off.

Similarly, I have looked after my friend's toddler when she has had an appointment. It's just not a big deal to ask.

Rituals1 · 09/07/2025 12:56

In your position I would book a private scan as close as possible to the NHS scan. They won’t do the screening so you’ll still need to go to the NHS scan but they will have a good look at baby and it’s unlikely anything will go wrong between the two scans if they are close together.