anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

Yes you’re going to be judged negatively. You must know that. Living as a single parent on part time wages choosing to have more and more children when you’re crying about the ones you have .

I’m with your family, I’d be embarrassed of you as well to be honest .

Maybe look at some permanent birth control options after this for your sake and the sake of the kids you already have.

Look around mn, people judge everything- this is the same in real life- a second after they make you second guess your life choices they’ll move on. Whatever makes you happy x

Trouble is, it's not 'whatever makes you happy', because you're creating new people, who don't have any choice in the matter.

The dc I'd have had at 18, with an idiot boyfriend and still living at home, would have had a very different life to the ones I had at 30. The 2dc i have now would have had a different life I'd gone with 'whatever makes me happy' and kept on churning them out because either I wanted them or I didn't want an abortion.

A rough Tory? How do you work that one out? Nah just sick and tired of seeing neglected children and having to live with antisocial adults who think the world owes them. And they get away with whatever the hell they want.

I live in a small flat and I've just moved my 75 year old mother in after a fall and hip surgery. I'm sleeping on the sofa.

I could cope with the constant shit from the neighbours, I've learned to live with it (the constant fights with the exes turning up and the children screaming, grabbing the baby and taking her off the road- I don't do it anymore.) not really fair on mum though or anyone else. .

Some people simply don't give a shit

And I'm a rough Tory? Trying to make myself look posh? Give your head a wobble

Plenty of Labour and other party supporters make sensible choices and resent those who don't. The welfare system wasn't set up to be a lifestyle choice so we could have hundreds of thousands of single parents (let’s face it, mostly mums) raising children in poverty while feckless men went on their merry way, it was set up to be a safety net for hardworking people who fell on hard times or the genuinely vulnerable. Successive governments have perpetuated poverty and trapped millions. It’s abysmal, and there’s really no way out, we have to just keep importing more (largely poor) people to prop up the system; were building our house on sand.

So you will be relying on the tax payer to support you as you only work part time! Yes, I am being judgemental but you really are not in a position to have another baby and frankly you need to wake up! I wanted a large family but was in no position to afford it, so guess what I didn’t!

Congratulations! Ignore the haters, it's none of their beeswax. Life is going to be hectic but also heaps of fun. You're the type of person who leans in so you are going to smash this xxx

OPs feeling judged and says that she doesn't want to row, just wants to feel less alone. Yet the comments are full of judgement!
I don't judge big families OP, I admire parents who manage with big families and often wish I was part of a bigger family or had more children myself. Sure there will be struggles but I'm sure there will be lots of positives too and never a dull moment.

Leans in to other people paying for these 'smashing' choices. So much more fun to come crying in more toilets due to lack of cope

Seriously , some of these comments. I can only assume they are from others who live similar lifestyles.

It's a punch in the face to all us woman who would love to have had children/have more children, but have chosen not to because it's just wrong to expect everyone else to pay for it. Clearly many don't care about that and just care about their own wants.

Congratulations! Children are such a blessing. Well done for working hard to provide for your beautiful family.

You are right. People DO judge large families. But just remember, women who are one & done are judged, too. You'll never win. Have as many as you want/can afford. It's nobody else's business.

Have as many as you want/can afford.

Exactly

@Butterflyarms

hmm doesn’t sound too fun to me!

Well, I had a friend who had twelve children and loved it. We had just one, partly for financial reasons. But I don’t expect anyone else to have the same reasoning and values as me. We were both happy with our choices and both judged by others!

Hey op hope you’re okay? I had four kids within 10 years of getting married, all planned and would have had another if cancer hadn’t of interrupted my plans. Congratulations on your pregnancy I’m sure your a fabulous mum and having a big family can bring so much love and joy. Yes I did get looks and the occasional are they all yours comments but water off a ducks back as their my everything ❤️

You can only claim for 2 children. Not all families are your traditional husband, wife and kids family. Many people successfully raise children alone, in blended families or with new partners. I have raised 2 (now adults) alone, eldest has just got a degree, I wouldn’t say it’s been any harder than raising them with a husband.

There is no need to be horrible. The OP is asking for help. Please remember that you are communicating with a real person - they deserve kindness.

They deserve kindness. Also honesty. Not just constant Yasslighting about how amazing she is for creating a large family - as a single parent with no financial means

If the OP is struggling and in need of some friendly support, this might not be the best place. Perhaps someone could signpost some organisations? Helplines ?

Ignore the snooty posters on here. You sound like a great mum. I don't have a big family but I come from one, I bet your house is full of love!
Try to get some support locally if there are any groups. Ignore comments from your family, they will still be there for you i bet.

No, the OP is saying she feels judged. And putting her personal life choices on here means she is putting herself out there to be judged.

She does deserve kindness, but sometimes that kindness comes in the form of a metaphorical kick up the arse.

You mean well done to the rest of the population who limit their families in order not to be a drain on the state,

Not well done to someone who pops out unplanned kids like smarties, only works very part-time and depends on the tax payer to fund her lifestyle choices.

Help with a situation she has brought on herself by lack of contraception. Do you really think she is going to be able to afford 5 children on part time cleaning hours that she does around school runs?
So who is going to pay for these children and everything they need?
Purposefully plunging more children into poverty should never be applauded.

The fact that OP’s own family are judging her decision speaks volumes.

I have four and I'm sure lots of people judge. Let them. We are own little clan and that's wonderful