anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

Oh OP ignore the judgey comments. I’m assuming you wanted a large family but never planned for number 5….well accidents happen however careful you are and for some having that baby is important. To me it sounds like you are doing extremely well in a tough situation and are hard working. I hope you’re pregnancy gets easier….its exhausting I know. And congratulations! I’m from a family of 4 kids….we didn’t have heaps of money either but we also had enough and thats all that matters :) I myself have 2 and would love a third! Fingers crossed it all goes well for you.

Is UNICEF reliable enough for you? https://www.unicef.org/eca/stories/how-does-poverty-affect-children-differently
“As adults, those who experienced poverty in childhood also are more likely to be unemployed or in lower-paid jobs, to have encounters with the criminal justice system and to experience poverty themselves.”

Some families raised on benefits will of course be above the poverty line, and we’ll all have heard anecdotal evidence about the welfare families who are “rolling in it; new cars and foreign holidays”, but away from the Daily Mail the actual reality is that most families who rely on welfare are poor and their children miss out. It could be argued that “accidental” pregnancies arise from a lack of education and this is being perpetuated, possibly by OP; funny how so few of the responsible parents who have to work and don't receive state support seem to have far lower rates of unplanned pregnancies, isn’t it?

https://academic.oup.com/ej/advance-article/doi/10.1093/ej/ueaf004/8030529#511921816

https://www.jrf.org.uk/care/does-money-affect-childrens-outcomes

https://cpag.org.uk/child-poverty/effects-poverty

No faux naïveté here. I see lots of people saying what a terrible human she is and how they’d never be so selfish, particularly for draining the benefits system and then when pointed out there are no noteworthy additional benefits for a 5th child…silence.

I’m pretty impressed actually that OP manages to work part time ! Being pregnant with 4 dc is a lot plus any kind of work !

Correct, which is why she asked if there was anyone on here in a similar position to chat with.

if someone posted on here I have lung cancer, is there anyone who can chat with me. Would everyone start lecturing them about the risks of smoking and how they’ve really only got themselves to blame, along with what a drain they are on the nhs? I suspect not.

And there are also some families with one or two dc for example claiming 85% of childcare fees but nobody ever moans about that and nursery costs are extortionate

Why? What impact on your life does it have? I’m genuinely baffled.

Why do you keep insisting it doesn't impact anyone else? I'll ask you again, who do you think funds benefits and public services?

There may currently be few direct financial benefits for the parent, but there are indirect benefits such as potentially a bigger (subsidised) property, and also, perhaps more importantly, significant COSTS; education, healthcare, infrastructure - these aren't “free”. The parent will receive CB and if many MPs have their way and the 2 child cap is lifted there will also be a financial benefits. At the end of the day, the children are still likely to be raised in poverty and have poorer life-chances, and every addition to the family exacerbates that likelihood.

@Chattymum23

this, OP! You have choices! What do YOU want?

Just about every academic study shows that children brought up in poverty have significantly lower educational and health outcomes, and are more likely to be unemployed or in lower-paid jobs, to have encounters with the criminal justice system and to experience poverty themselves, but yeah, your kids have a mum who “gives a toss” so they will probably be the ones who buck the trend, right?

Agree. I always roll my eyes at that comment which always pops up on threads like this. Most likely the cycle of welfare dependency continues.

So... Seeing as the benefit cap for 2 children applies, none of the fathers seem to be contributing and the OP relies on minimal benefits and a few hours working minimum wage, how exactly are all these children being adequately looked after ?? (kids are expensive even if you break it down to the minimum)

Those of you saying, benefits only pay for 2 kids so why are you all frothing about your taxes? Where do you think the money is coming from if not benefits or the part time job?

I know how my single parent 3, 5, 7 kids neighbours manage. And I wouldn't wish that on any woman, especially not their children. And these women have had all these children by choice instead of using some contraception so I have zero sympathy for them.

Where did op say baby was unplanned. What’s with this.

@foxgloveswaving
i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now

Doesn't sound like a planned pregnancy

"i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now"

From the opening post.

Yup, we get laughed at for being responsible. What a time to be alive.

You realise health care, education, housing 6 people, utility bills and food all have to be paid for by someone. Enough people have to cover the cost of those things in their own lives plus pay enough tax to cover the cost of them in OPs life choices. Multiply that across the population and look up how many people actually pay in more than they receive. Then look at how much it costs to service the national debt, pay for the welfare bill and fund the nhs. OP is being incredibly irresponsible and selfish.

From OP's thread on 11/06/25 she says she is is "drowning" and "spiralling" most days so it doesn't sound like adding a fifth unplanned pregnancy into the mix is the best idea.

Don't think anyone gives a toss how many kids a atranger has as long as the parents are able to fund and able to look after them. Often, this is not the case.

Exactly. The tax payers of the future 🙄 yes some kids of these families will break away and do well but the majority will just continue the cycle. It's what they know.

I'm not posh Mumsnetter sat in the Cotswolds stereotyping the poor people.
I've lived on this council estate for the last 20 years and my immediate neighbours are all women with 'issues' and numerous children. Police constantly turning up. Domestic abuse, drugs, teen daughters webcamming. 2 year olds wandering into the road into traffic because mum's having a party and wasted.

This is the reality where I live and it's highly unlikely any of these kids will be securing anyone's pensions. They'll just be a burden because the cycle continues. And it's sad

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/larger_families

You'd be better off posting here for support (and good advice if you need it) OP

Hahahah. Not everyone has a car you know! And kids share bedrooms.

@heidyho

on holding off a third child that poster will have a much better standard of living due to her being sensible. So not really a fool is she

Birth rates are down globally so we need people like you to prop them up. So uh, well done. And congratulations!