Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

I don't think you are considering your sons feelings as he grows up. However he can always have it legally changed.

Jem?

I'd probably draw the line at Willow but have a crush on Caspian.

I knew a man called Kim. And Dr Hilary Jones has a girls name.
It would help if you said the name. But you won't because you are even struggling with it yourself.

I met a fully grown man called Stacy the other day, was very girl-heavy when I was growing up.

Is it Jody/Jodi?
Raven?
Adrian/Adrienne?

Hard to say without knowing the name but if I had to guess, I think it will be fine! Names can be for whoever occupies them! Stick with what you love.

My grandmother used to watch some TV show when I was little in the 80s that starred an actor named Stacy.

This is him:

Avery is a boy's name.

Yeah, in America Stacy is a boy's name.

And in France, Nicola is a boy's name too!

Hilary isn't a girl's name.

Rowen? I considered Rowen for a boy but was worried about teasing. I also liked Frances/Francis shortened to Frankie.

So much of whether this will be an issue depends on your child's personality and their peers. There are a boy and girl in my daughter's class with the same name (Quinn). Both are popular outgoing kids and no one bats an eye.

Caspian isn't a girl's name.

Stacy is a unisex name in America but I have mostly heard it for girls.

Hilary Swank, Hilary Duff, Hilary Farr, etc., might disagree.

Lots of kids have unisex names nowadays - I wouldn't worry about it.

It's used as a girl's name as well as a boy's name. Like Ashley and Stacey and Tracey it's a male name which has also been adopted for female use. Kim also. Kim is a male character in Rudyard Kipling's book of the same name.

It's daft and wrong to say "Dr Hilary Jones has a girl's name"- he doesn't

Hilary is like Vivian and Evelyn, names that started out as male names but then over time
became almost exclusively used for girls.

Hilary and Jocelyn were both popular male names that immediatly fell out of favor for boys once they started being used for girls. Priya and Vidya are both girl’s names and Jermaine is male in the US and the only two I can think of are both men (sorry, @OhWhistle!)

if it’s very obviously a girl’s name OP, don’t do it. Life’s tough enough without needlessly adding to its toughness.

And Kim, which came from the eponymous book, short for Kimball a male character.

I'm aware I'm aware of all of that. I did not imply that I wasn't. I was just responding to someone who said that Hllary was not a girl's name when it indeed can be a girl's name.

I don't know who Dr. Hilary Jones is, but I did not say he has a girl's name. 🤷‍♀️

I know plenty of male Vidyas and a few male Priyas. The names just mean wisdom and beloved. Quite a few Sanskrit-derived names either genuinely are unisex, or sound unisex where English speakers don't observe the long or short final -a distinction.

Germaine has a different history and origin from Jermaine but the two names are starting to blend...see this woman athlete for example. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jermaine_Seoposenwe

It's the name of a sea. I knew this before reading the Narnia book. It's one of those weird geographical names like River or Skye. It's not really all that close to alleged Greek or Persian equivalents.

Gale
Jesse
Avery
Robin
Hunter
Parker

I'm going to unwatch this as I clearly move in unmumsnetty name circles and have been lucky to escape bullying.

Glad of the male Hilarys and Angels in my life though.