Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

Hilary is a unisex name
Sam
Mel
Luca
Rowan
Avery
Taylor

there's tons of them

Esme?

I think you need to sound out a few people.

Probably not on here, as there’s likely to be enough negative responses to put you off any name!

But perhaps with a range of people you know or (if you want to keep it from family and friends until you’re sure) people you randomly meet (e.g. midwives, via work). Make sure they’re a range of different ages, social classes and backgrounds.

And best to wait until he’s born, as sometimes they ‘come with a name’, e.g. they don’t suit the names you’ve had in mind and a different name appeals.

Is it Gabriel? (Which is a lovely, lovely name but might avoid depending on his likely future social circles)

Shirley? Marion? Stacey? All have been used as male names

I think Ashley and Kim are absolutely fine for boys - both unisex, but there are probably more male Ashley's around than Kim's.

Jessie?

@Bowa Nobody can say if you don't say the name.

I'm not against mis-sexed names per se - for example, I think James is great for a girl, and the director of The Third Man was Carol Reed (and he was a man) - but it's a very specific field, that of girl names which work for men, too. Also, I often dislike unisex names, e.g. Kim.

It really depends on the name. Jessie is a great name for a boy imo but Tracey less so. I met a grown woman called Murray at the weekend and I LOVED her name. It really suited her so some names definitely work better than others.

This was my guess. And I'm going to guess that the movie is Curly Sue.

OP, you don't have to tell us what the name is. Especially if you're in the UK, a more androgynous or arcane name could become very attractive. Depending on your son's eventual friendship groups. I love names like that. Very romance novel mysterious hero somehow.
Amédée
Angel
Ashley
Diamond
Esmé
Hilary
Jamie
Josemaría
Laurie
Leslie
Mischka
...all fine.

I think it's fine. We were in the same situation with a name that was a boy's name, then became unisex, and then more girls but still unisex. It also depends which country you live in.

There's a bit of sexism too in that people will give a girl a boy's name but once it becomes popular with girls too it starts to become avoided for boys. There's alway ebbs and flows of course.

They’re not necessarily going to be “fine” in the UK.
Diamond??

Esme and Hilary would ensure maximum bullying.

At the Back of the North Wind. Main character.

Why would you want to burden your child with a name that may cause endless grief in childhood, from mockery, bullying, whatever?
How is it possible that in the entire English language, you can't come up on one name that would pass muster for you - whether a family name, a name from history, whatever?

Depends on which school.

I'm thinking Gone With the Wind and Ashley.
Who, btw, married his cousin after stringing along Scarlett then still gave her mixed messages! And was shit at business.
Please, let it be something else. 😫

Asher? 😊

OP, ignore this thread's naysayers. The English language is global and people move around. Your son is likely to have classmates and neighbours with all sorts of names. Different ones even within the English language are fashionable or masculine in different places. I'm not suggesting you call him Jermaine but he might well be working with a male Jermaine one day or live in Italy where Nicola is masculine or in the US among the kind of people called Perseverance and Fortitude. Priya is a unisex name in India and so is Vidya. And so on.

Sometimes on Mumsnet it seems like everyone needs to be called Lily or James.

Riley
Holly
Jordan
Micah
Quinn
Ainsley
Bailey
Skylar
Fallon
Kendall
Marley
Greer
Peyton
Shannon
Sage

Hard to tell without knowing the name...

If it's Michel please don't unless you're in a francophone area.

How on earth can anyone tell without knowing the name?

I hope it's not something like Osprey, River, or Topaz.

Not a fan of Kit. Or Kip.

Attention.
Attention.
Attention.

Mayday is not a name.