Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley!

The different spellings make a huge differene, Jesse isn't the same name as Jessie, Corin isn't the same name as Corinne, Francis different from Frances etc.

It will be fine - I know boys with all three of the example names I've given and nobody has ever made comments that they have girly names - a classic case of overthinking, congratulations on your baby and their lovely name.

Eli is a male name. Pronounced Eeli-(long e) It’s nothing to do with Elis.

Incidentally, there is no such thing as a “unisex name” with one or two exceptions. There are boys names that girls have been allowed to use, and which are almost immediately dropped like hot coals for boys. Because misogyny.

Hilary is used for male and female ?

Hilary used to be an exclusively male name. It’s very out of fashion now, but I would certainly assume that a young Hilary was a girl.

I think:

Hilary
Evelyn
Vivian
Lindsay

were of their time. Nowadays there are names with spelling variants, as indeed were Lindsay and Vivian but they seem so out dated now.

Leslie/Lesley
Francis/Frances
Josslin/Jocelyn

Victor/Victoria
Nicholas/Nicola
Alexander/Alexandra
Charles/Charlotte
George/Georgina

have a different vibe altogether.

Politician Hilary Benn?

He’s in his 70s. Also v.posh, so different naming conventions apply!

Yes I know a male Hilary and a couple of female ones.

Me too.

Also. I thought of Johnny Cash ‘A boy named Sue’

Florence

Gene, Joe, Chris, Stacey, Sheldon, Stevie, Billy… The pp who said Rumplestiltskin is a genius! 👏😄

If abbreviated names are included then Pat and Patsy.

I've known both male and female Daires and Nollaigs.

Remy but spelled Remi?

I always wanted to call a son Kim. It didn’t happen but I love it for a boy.

My granddaughter’s middle name is Quinn.

Yes, I like Kim for a boy too. Made famous by Kipling’s ‘Kim’ and his adventures.

The concept of what is a boy or a girls name is ridiculous. It’s just some letters put together so people know how to identify you. At some point, ALL names were made up by someone.
Call YOUR baby whatever you like. If you fear people judging you, then call your baby boy the name you choose and maybe use his boy ‘middle name’ until he is old enough to choose what he’s like to be called.

Nrtft. Probably been mentioned, but our family used the name Jordan (male) over 40 years ago. I think there are quite a few girls with the name. Never been a problem

Is it Jessie

I named my son Eden 30 yrs ago when it was definitely a unisex name, now it’s much more feminine. Eden has no qualms about his name and never has, he doesn’t even shortened it .

Knew I lovely bloke at work years ago, his name was Kim and there was a Kym at secondary school too …just saying 😁

I knew two male Kims. I love the name for men. I love Lin for a man too. I wanted my grandson to be named Lin but I got shut down quickly 😂