Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

Is the name Fanny?

I was about to say this. Indy is one of the few names that I would have liked if I had a boy but wouldn’t have been brave enough to use. I ended up having a girl so didn’t need to consider it

My DH had to change his name as it was always mispronounced to be a common girls name. And people that didn't know him assumed he was female, so if you want to inflict that on your child go ahead. It's impossible to say without knowing the name.

Depends on the name.

If we're talking along the lines of Quinn, Riley, Taylor etc then absolutely fine on a boy because they are unisex.

Ashley is a boys name - think Gone with the Wind? So is Robin (usually Robyn for a girl).

Agree with PPs - it depends on the name. Sue or Nancy - just no.

Leslie - male, but very dated. Shirley and Marion were also used years ago but I wouldn't go there now....

Some more modern names like Willow, Rowan, Sky - could easily be unisex. Summer and Autumn are really for girls I think.

Go with your gut. If you know it's a girls name then it would be cruel to saddle your DS with it.

Agree with pps that it's hard to say.

I know boys with names that were originally boy names or unisex names but are now more girls names and I'm not aware of any issues.

I know boys called Robin, Ashley, Taylor, Jesse, Cameron, Ellis, Joss, and Morgan.
Personally I love Hilary for a boy.

I wouldn't bat an eye at many more feminine names for a boy unless it was irredeemably used for girls, like Rebecca or Mary-Jane or something. If anything I'd think it was nice because so many people seem willing to give girls boy names but not vice versa

I would not saddle my child with any name that I had reason to believe might set them up as a target on the playground. And to be honest, it sounds like that sort of thing is exactly what you're expressing fear of. When you don't even want to tell people the name in real life, that's something to stop and think about, isn't it?

To me, making things easier rather than possibly/likely harder on my child comes before my first name choice that's just because I like the sound of the name or whatever. Remember, he has to live with your choice day in and day out for the rest of his life, so choose wisely for him.

There are a zillion solid boys names so it seems a bit disingenuous to hint that none of them will do instead. Of course one of them would do instead. From what you've said, I'd strongly consider starting over. Save the girly name for a middle name or a possible future daughter or give it to your next cat.

Congrats on your soon-to-be bundle of joy. :)

Why would you write this big huge essay and not just share the name.

I was convinced you were going to say Jack and then you said it was a girls name so nope it’s not that.
This is mumsnet .. you know you are going to have to tell us the name if you want an honest answer.

That was my guess

I am female with a predominantly boys name and it has been a pain all of my life.

So it;s a no from me.

Everyone expects a male to turn up and emails are replied to in a very masculine way.

Lots of names are unisex, e.g. Esme/Esmae (the first spelling is male but used also by females, the second spelling is female), Evelyn, Vivien/Vivian, Kay, Joscelyn/Jocelyn (I see this as a male name because I first came across it as a child for a male character), Aubrey, Julian (sometimes Juliana is used for a girl). Lists don't always say a name is for either sex.

The op clearly states “giving my son a girl name” 😆
It wasn’t drip fed six posts in.

Jesse is a boy's name. David is the sone of Jesse, Jesse is his father. Jessie would be the female equivalent. Nevertheless I'd be wary of using it.

My male cousin is called brogan, it’s a gender nuetral name, his parents didn’t realise until after he was born and realised only people on FB called brogan were female. but it’s not that common of a name and now just seems like a boys name to me. So really depends on the name

I like @Belshels guess - if they're correct, in my experience it's Darcy for a boy and Darcey for a girl, gorgeous name for either.

Jesse is a boy's name. The female is Jessica.

I’m sure it will be fine, go for it. People have all kinds of names, their name is their name, that’s that.
Whether or not he will be bullied probably depends more on WHERE you live rather than on the name itself.
Eg In London/Brighton/other liberal cities, you can call your kids anything, people are very open-minded

Have the baby, look at his face and then decide.

We decided on a name way too early. We chose "Tom" but when I looked at him after he was born, all I could think was "William". We kept Tom, but it took months for me to reconcile it with who he was.

Say my name say my name 🎵

Yes, but losts of people shorten Jessica to Jessie which sounds the same.

Which is why I am wary of using Jesse. But I like Joscelyn - Josh for short for a boy.

Is it a unisex name that is often associated with a woman's name like Kimberly? Or a straight up "girly" name like Annabella?