I'm 18 and pregnant !

[ThisDearJoker]

Hi guys ,
I have just written a longer post but I'm going to do a shorter one with less context to gain more advice !
Basically I'm 18 and pregnant - currently 6 weeks , in almost 4 year relationship with boyfriend who is 19, his parents want to help us move and pay 1 years rent. Boyfriend works full time ,

What's your opinions on how much we may struggle ? Any advice / personal experience/ things to know ?

I had a job until October. It’s very very hard to get a job at 18 or any age. I know people both my age , younger and older who have also been trying and applying for months. I have done my best to find a job none stop.

What types of jobs have you applied for? Shops and hospitality are common jobs for teens. You could search for advice on applications.

have you had a look at agency work? like within events/stadiums etc? they tend to take on a lot of younger people and you can decide which shifts to take

I had my daughter at 17, with help from parents we survived and thrived! That ‘baby’ is now 38 😂

The most important thing is the quality of your relationship with the father - do you see yourself as together for 20 + years enjoying bringing up this child? If so get married and enjoy the journey! Being young has many benefits too- esp if you weren't certain about uni now anyway. You can have your children then do career afterwards with maturity and something extra to offer.

If things are shaky then think carefully - for your sake (being a single mum less fun)- but also the child's

I think you need to be very realistic about the financial reality of this and take with a large pinch of salt the advice from people who are now 40+ and had babies in similar situations because the cost of living compared to wages is very different to what it was 20+ years ago! If you're struggling to get a job now then it's going to be even harder to find one that fits around childcare, you'll be 2 more years with no work or field specific experience, and you'll need to cover the costs of childcare.

I was in a similar position 40 years ago!

Except I was living in my own flat with my BF, had no relatives nearby and was working full-time.

It will be difficult, especially as you're not working. Although it's amazing that you'll have your rent paid for a year!

I've just got to point out that you've been with your boyfriend since you were 14, so statistically you're not going to last long term. Although I note from previous posters that they've got some lovely stories of staying together.

But realistically you need to plan for the worst case scenario. Living off mummy and daddy and having no money except from your boyfriend is a not a safe option for you and your child.

Get a job and save a wee nest egg, while you're getting your rent paid, just in case it all goes tits up.

My story is I worked in a job that was nights, while my boyfriend worked days. No socail life at all.

6 years later we split up. I went to university, using the nursery care facility and ended up having an amazing career.

My DC is now a social worker and I couldn't be more proud how they worked out.

It depends what you want out of life and if you're happy relying on benefits that's fine. But to get anywhere in life you have to work bloody hard, juggle like mad and make some serious sacrifices.

I hope for your sake that you and your boyfriend keep together forever but please plan ahead.

Oh okay 🤨

Yeah. OK. These things take planning.

There are posts on mn almost every day about people struggling with the cost of living, instability of renting and how childcare costs take up all of one person's wages. Even when there are two adults working fulltime.

Financial difficulties most definitely do not just work themselves out. I think it's madness to be considering having a baby when you literally have no home of your own, no job, no prospects of getting a job and no means to provide for yourself, let another another person.

I know posters are trying to be kind but that's, as they say, cruel.

The OP asked for opinions and personal experience, which is what I gave. My personal experience of having a baby at 18 has been very good. No planning whatsoever, no family close by, no money, but wonderful nonetheless. I appreciate how well everything has turned out for me and my family, and I stick by saying that things do often work out okay in the end.

Great idea for a pregnant woman

It all worked out well for me in the end. It wasn't easy though. Everything with a baby is harder, from having a shower to getting a degree.
I had loads of help, but ended up with pnd because it was a shock to my system. And freedom.
Now I would advise the obvious. Get a career, savings, a house, then have a baby.
A pp rightly said things are different now to 40 years ago - council housing was more readily available and affordable. At least in my area.
I have a great life now, but I thank god I finished my degree. I was hell bent on getting a career.

This. What kind of of a life and prospects can you offer a child op?

Hi OP. I had my first child at 18. It was a massive curveball at the time, but we had family support. The dad and I stayed together, got married, and were a family for 8 years. Although sadly the relationship didn't work out in the long-term, I absolutely loved being a mum.

It's not a walk in the park, but in some ways I think adjusting to being a mother is easier at a younger age. You haven't got too set in the habit of pleasing yourself all the time, and maybe we adjust more easily when we're younger.

My career definitely suffered at first. Having my children young meant I had to work very hard in my 30's. I now have a successful business with several employees, and feel I have made up the lost time (I also had more children!)

You sound like you've both thought this through carefully, and that you really want this baby. You have good support around you. You'll make it work.

You'll be fine 😊. Not quite as young but I had a baby at 21 and 23. Some said we were too young but it was truly the best thing that ever happened to us. We didn't have a great deal of money but are happy. Husband went on to get a good Job in engineering, I went to Uni at 30 and got a first class degree and a good job. Kids are both doing very well themselves too and are 18 and 20 now. Can't imagine having young kids now. It's not easy having kids young but I suspect it's not easy when older either. Pros and cons to both. Don't let people scare you into thinking it's a terrible mistake.