Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

@Cheeseandcrackers123 my husband is doing all the nappy changes so not been looking at it too carefully but I’m pretty sure we had a day of green after the méconium. Watch it tomorrow it might be yellow. I think it’s the transition to the yellow.

Question. Are you guys using pacifiers? I was initially advised to wait 6 weeks for feeding to be established so that it doesn’t interfere. But seeing as he is feeding great and my current state of sleeplessness I want to say it might be ok to go for it?

@Redapple21 thanks for that 🤍 can’t imagine how it is for you guys having other little ones to also take care of at the same time

@Kumquat89 ah yes it is tiring especially this week as our toddler son is off nursery for half term. Thankfully my partner is still on paternity leave but safe to say we're all quite tired!
Yes I am using a dummy. Sometimes at night when I've fed her and she's still a little unsettled it does help. She is feeding fine so yes I didn't see the harm.

@Cheeseandcrackers123 yes green poo sounds normal and then as someone else said it will turn to yellow liquidy and will look like it has little seeds in!

@retrievermum I think the antibiotics also gave my baby diarrhoea 😭.
I’ve had to call 111 last night and take him to an OOH GP as he’s been acting not like himself. He was constantly doing his hungry cues and crying, diarrhoea in nappies and spit up/throw up after every time he had milk. This went on for a couple of hours with no rest for the little one.
GP had a look at him and wasn’t majorly concerned but he did tell us to stop
feeding him on demand to prevent the spit up,
he said no more than 50-60 ml per feed. This is hard because he is constantly crying for food. GP also said it’s good he has dirty nappies and to
go to A&E should he stop. He said the only thing he could give him is gaviscon but
only if it doesn’t improve on its own.
So we came back and settling him was very difficult 😞. My boy is hungry and constantly needing nappy changes. It’s been an exhausting night.
has anyone else ever come across this before and if yes what did you do?

@Kumquat89 I tried a pacifier last night out of desperation (endless cycle of scream - breast - put down - repeat) and she spat it straight out lol. 40 minutes of sleep for me last night. 🙃 It was all going so well until D6!

This was exactly what my first was like! I'm so sorry, it's mindbending and you feel like you could die from lack of sleep. Things that helped:
Cosleeping
Sleeping in shifts as she would sleep longer if held and rocked
Cranial osteopathy
Following Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram

This time we have got some night nanny support as last time was so tough. Please please ask for help if you can!

Sorry to jump in with a TMI question, has anyone else had any issues with constipation? Esp after stitches / I had an episiotomy.

I've been taking stool softener and managed to go maybe 2-3 times at least since birth fine but today I'm really feeling like I have one ready to go (😬) but just can't manage to actually have a poo. My DH went and bought me some kale-heavy juice and prunes but I would love to solve it somehow! I don't drink coffee normally and a bit scared to disrupt the little sleep I'm getting, anyone tried anything that works?

GP I've called this morning to book an appointment for follow up after I come off my hypertension medication, the receptionist was confused why I wanted an appointment and said it's a call on the day at 8 situation anyway 🙄 not sure how helpful they'll be.

Thinking of everyone waiting for labour/delivery to start and everyone in the newborn trenches!

Congratulations @jaybeez

I'm sorry to hear that things are a bit rough for some of you mamas 😢. We (touch wood) have been relatively lucky so far as we have a pretty chilled and snoozy baby who will now sleep in his own bassinet overnight. The first few days he would only sleep on one of us so we took it in shifts to sleep while the other held him. @Kumquat89 is that an option for you?

@QuantumPanic i wish you a better night tonight. 🤞 hopefully it’s just a short phase for both of us before we can enjoy 3-4 hours between feeds.
@MaiaForEmperor thanks for the solidarity and the suggestions! I’ll look into these!
@superj21 your baby sounds like an angel 😅 yeah we tried that a few nights and it kind of worked. There is a moment when he can’t be soothed anymore by my husband and needs the boob. But it’s true that usually it gives me some extra time.

I'm having to wake baby every 2 hours for feeds because he's lost too much weight. So exhausting but he has put on a bit on his last weigh in so this is good!

Is anyone obsessed with their babys temp?
I keep taking it as it went to 37.45 earlier but since hasn't gone past 37.3. I know this is a normal temperature but I'm absolutely obsessed.

Baby us wearing baby grow and 2.5 tog sleeping bag.

11 days post c section and feeling ok! Xx

Hi @Hhdxx I’m also obsessed with my baby’s temp which is typically over 37! To me that’s high as I know how I feel when my temperature is over 37 but when I told the GP he wasn’t at all concerned so I guess it’s fairly normal.
I do check it a lot. I’m constantly concerned about something to do with my son’s health. i don’t know if that’s normal or whether I’ve developed anxiety.

So, back to the hospital to have the stitches checked. Midwife took a look and went to get a Dr. Dr took a look and went to get a consultant. 😬 On antibiotics for now - there was some debate about restitching, but it's not advised if an active infection is present because chances are it'll just come apart again. I've got an appointment in six weeks to see if it needs surgical correction. 😞 In the meantime, I have high hopes for the antibiotics. 🤞🤞🤞 it heals up rapidly. It'll be nice not to have to jump in the shower every time I need to wee.

Got two decent sleep sessions last night, so feeling much more optimistic about the whole thing. It's not how I thought things would go (and it's still frustrating to feel that if it weren't for the stitches I'd be back to 100% - the rest of me feels great!) but it's not the end of the world.

Thanks so much for your support, it has genuinely been so helpful. 💕 Here's to a speedy recovery for the both of us. 💪💪💪

I had this the other day. Don't force it!! I tried to just push it out, and it was a terrible time. The sensation of really having to go but not quite being able to is unpleasant, but I'd just wait it out. Drink lots of water, eat some raw fruit/veg and eventually it'll slide out on it's own. 💩 Also, (makeshift) squatty potty/step stool to raise your knees really helps, if you're not already using one.

@QuantumPanic I’m so sorry, although my reopened wound is from a c-section so the position of yours is much more uncomfortable, I can relate. When the doctor saw mine he also decided not to restitch but instead let it dry as much as possible and let it heal naturally. I don’t know how long this will take but its making looking after a newborn difficult plus I think my partner is frustrated now with having to help me so much :(.
I think antibiotics are upsetting my baby’s stomach so I completely switched to formula only and feel like a bad mum.

@ThisLimeDeer Oh no, sorry to hear you're going through it. Sending you hugs. ☹️ I hope your partner isn't really frustrated, because that would be totally unreasonable. You've had major surgery and now you're having complications - you're going to need help for a while and ideally he should be more than happy to provide it. Does he realise that you're struggling? If you're being very stoic then maybe he doesn't? My husband has seen me break down crying several times now, so it's pretty obvious I'm having a hard time. 😅

How long are you having to take the antibiotics for? I don't know if it's practical for you, but you could always pump to keep up supply and return to breastfeeding once the course of antibiotics is finished? (I know nothing about pumping, but have just had a cheap hand pump delivered today and am going to give it a go, just so that I can avoid bringing my baby to the hospital for my various follow up appointments.) But if this is a permanent switch to formula, then that's not a bad thing and you're not a bad mum. You're doing what's best for your baby and trying to look after yourself at the same time (all on very little/irregular sleep). 💕 It is a LOT. I have found that venting on here definitely helps!

Thank you! Update: DH went and bought me some vegetable-heavy juice (kale etc) and blended it with prunes. I got desperate and drank a cup of filter coffee - normally I don't drink coffee at all, just the occasional chai.

Reader, I caffeinated the baby 💀 had a sleepless night last night, he was absolutely wired. Don't do this!!

We had family over today as well so I couldn't really sleep in the day and I ended up crying this evening from the sleep deprivation build up. Felt better after a nap this evening and we're going to look at starting pumping.

Juice and prunes has since worked (as well as the coffee just minus the horrible side effects) if anyone else is curious - postpartum is so glamorous!

He hasn’t verbally expressed being frustrated and he is helping as much as he can but sometimes I just see it on his face that he is tired and fed up and he probably wants things to go back to normal and us doing 50/50 of housework etc. We have had a couple of rows as well because of lack of sleep etc. I think we’re both just tired and maybe I also assume that he’s had enough which is in my nature in general.
I must admit I also find it hard to sleep when he’s looking after the LO on his own. He hasn’t done anything to cause this I just constantly worry about the baby and want to see him. I don’t know if that’s normal.

Antibiotics are for 7 days so I only have I think a day or two left now luckily. I am currently pumping and dumping hoping to keep my supply (and also it’s uncomfortable if I don’t ). I hope I can go back to giving the baby some breast milk when it’s all over with this wound :(.
I agree that venting helps and I’d rather do it here than talk to friends and family because they just give me unsolicited advice.
i hope you’re okay and feeling better today 😊

Sorry I'm just replying now...I'm struggling to keep up on my phone! Usually on while feeding typing one handed 😖
@Hhdxx I'm not sure re latch as he's been combifed pretty much from the get go the way things worked out. Sometimes I do worry it's not good enough but it's hard to tell. He's definitely getting milk as putting on weight but I worry sometimes he's gulping air also due to a bad latch and if that's contributing to wind issues. How are you getting on now? You sound anxious. I've pre-existing generalised anxiety and OCD so I hope people don't mind me saying but checking babies temperatures a lot/worrying about different things sound likes anxiety. It's going to be an anxious time for everyone but just take care to not let your thoughts spiral and be irrationally anxious/worrying as it will only excaberate all the fatigue and exhaustion! I'm having to constantly monitor myself and what I'm worrying about and do CBT exercises. For example at night I keep irrationally worrying I've left a Muslin cloth in beside his face and I've to rationalise that I've not and don't need to check for a 4th time 😫
@Piluka unfortunately I'm not on Facebook, removed myself from the Internet a few years ago as horrible ex. Am sorry to miss out the Facebook though im sure it's good for this. How are you getting on now? My moods a bit brighter but rarely up. Just OK or low. People keeping asking if I'm up and down so always feel the need to make it clear I'm not up lol. I've a mental health support working who comes out now once a week so that is helpful. The anxiety and the lack of sleep really gets to me, also think I'm mourning loss of old life too. But maybe it's just hard to see how great new life will be as in the trenches!

All the posts re bad nights - I feel your pain. Sorry if I sound like a total shit but it's nice to know I'm not alone! For a while there it was all sunshine and roses on this thread and I was feeling so so low wondering what the f a 'newborn bubble' was and crying constantly lol. We've had a handful of good nights and a good night is one where he sleeps in between feeds and is fairly settled. He's four and a half weeks now. No two nights are the same. Last night he was super fussy and making the worst grunting sounds but had wind. His eyes were closed during it for about an hour and a half so I just tried to sleep through it which is awful as you feel like a terrible person but I also knew was going to be a bad night so needed to try and bank some rest. Asides from that had the usual awake, feeding, fussy, fighting sleep, crying getting changed, spewing up needing changed again....of course after very little sleep he's currently having a peaceful sleep beside me...

Yesterday he was awake too much, today he's peacefully sleeping and I'm worrying he's not been awake enough, the anxiety never rests!

We are at the prolonged jaundice clinic on Wed for blood test and maybe the heat lamp treatment. Not looking forward to it and worrying about that too.

How many of us are still waiting? 🤦‍♀️😩

I am starting to think I’m getting a March baby 😥

Just a message to everyone who's in the newborn trenches, I know it's cliché but it does get better and easier as time goes on! I really dislike the newborn stage and it's ok to say that, everyone thinks you should cherish all the moments but trust me newborn stage is difficult and it's all about survival!

4 weeks for us this week and we seem to be finding our feet but this week DH goes back into the office all week and I have to manage getting DS to and from school which i haven't done yet so I could have a completely different opinion by the end of the week!

Thanks @elb1504 and I know every baby is different but when did it start to get better for you?
Good luck with the school run, I don't know how people manage more than 1!

First time round DS was very refluxy baby, hated everything I basically lived with him in baby carrier but I think first 8 weeks were the worst and it seemed to improve after that- still hated the pram and couldn't be put down in the day and that lasted a lot longer but did sleep okish at night.

Babies crying apparently peaks at 4-6 weeks and colicky symptoms tend to be gone by 12 weeks so you're right in the thick of it now! Sending you a massive hug and anyone else that needs it!

@elb1504 @SBelfast I should probably be enjoying my baby’s every moment but now I am kind of looking forward to the moment I can sleep 3-4 consecutive hours at night. 😅 feeling slightly guilty

Thank-you @elb1504 always good to hear experienced peoples stories 😊
@Kumquat89 I feel the same, I'm really hoping he'll sleep and nap during the day then feeling guilty about it. In the early weeks he had to be babysat 3 times for two dentist apts (had growth on tongue that had to be removed) and my perinatal mental health apt and I felt super guilty as it was such a relief to hand him over to grandparents and get a break. They accidentally made it worse the first time also as they said it must be really hard for me leaving him and then I was crying because it wasn't! Total emotional minefield. But yeh don't feel guilty about wanting sleep, you need your rest to be your best for the little one!