Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

OP, without wanting to upset you - those aren't women, they are children themselves. As are you. Your frontal lobes is still very undeveloped in relation to an adult, which means you are more likely to engage in risky behaviour for example. This means that both you and your baby might need additional support - that's all it's about, nothing specific to you.

Try not to worry too much, they should just be checking that the baby will be safe and well provided for when she is born - which you can answer! And don't listen too much to the doom- mongers out there - my sister had a baby at about the same age as you are, with another soon after - she was (and still is) a fantastic mum and both kids have grown into amazing young adults. Good luck with your little one!!

Nope. Midwife referred her. Routine for such a young mum to check what support she has and add to it if necessary.

So much misinformation on here, it's unreal.
It is not an automatic referral to Social Care for a 16 year old pregnant woman. Firstly, a referral for support can only be done with consent UNLESS there are significant level 4 safeguarding concerns that fall under child protection (ie. Immediate concerns for the safety of a child).
Did the midwife ask for your consent OP? Because she should if you are certain there are no immediate safeguarding concerns about yourself, your partner and those you live with.

Yes, I'm a midwife. Young parents should be cared for by specialist midwives usually. It does not require social care input unless other concerns are raised. Social care don't have time to vet every young mother for a start! They are far too overworked for such a thing!

My daughter got pregnant at the age of 16 after being caught while on the injection.no social services involvement at all.didnt see a health visitor after the baby turned 9 months old.
nobody came here to check her living arrangements,money or anything,

her child is now 15

Social worker here - poor you that must be scary. And congratulations! I can tell you exactly what its about and what will happen now. I worked in MASH. They will create two files - for you (as you are under 18 so still under childrens services) and for the baby under the UBB (Unborn Baby Protocol). The UBB is rather zealous - i see the good intent behind the policy but it scares the bejeezus out of perfectly safe mums to be when they are already feeling anxious and scared. A woman with even a hint of previous SS involvement - even as a 10 year old who went into care briefly for example, will be referred to us under UBB. Or any vulnerabilities such as autism, young age. Or if she left a DV relationship 10 years ago we still have to work the case in MASH. The health visitor/midwife has to refer to us. You may not have people you know that this happened to but UBB has recently become very very strict, as studies prove doing these checks reduces safeguarding issues later down the line.

Anyway, what will happen now is the SW in the next few days will call your parents (because of your age), school, midwife, look at your health record, police record, and chat to you and Dad. They will be looking at seeing if you need any support with housing, parenting etc, and will offer services, and if there are no issues then that will be that! They do this over 2 days so it doesn't drag on and they let you know when they speak to you, or by email that day if its being escalated to an assessment. That would only be done if they had any concerns, but they really wont do that if all the above checks come up fine so don't worry.

I hope that helps. Try not to worry because, from what you have said, this will be all done and dusted by early next week.

This wasn't the place to come if you were expecting compassion, I'm sorry.

Social services will have a specialist unit to support young mothers - I expect the others you know just won't have mentioned it to you. They won't be looking to take your baby away as it sounds like you have support around you. Good luck!

That is certainly not true in my local authority.

A family member got unexpectedly pregnant at 17. The father was 18. I don’t know if it was SS they were referred to (we are in Scotland so it might be different) but she was referred somewhere despite having a lot of family support and was allocated a midwife that specialised in younger mothers. They were a bit 👀 about it at first but it led to help with benefits and housing. Six years on, they are married, have a lovely housing authority property and another little boy. They also earn too much for any top up benefits so they are doing pretty well. I’d take all the advice and help you can get.

Just to say, I had my 2 kids in my 40s, as that was how it panned out for me.

When I was working in quite a senior position, I was working with a lovely colleague, and we discussed our careers. She told me she was quite embarrassed that she had had her 2 children in her teens, the first one not planned. But I really don't think there is much difference in it all in the end, there can be big advantages in having children younger when you are younger yourself, it is swings and roundabouts, and you do you, x. As long as this is what you want.

If you complete your family early on, for example, you might have much more freedom to follow a new direction in a later stage of your life. And you'll likely have more energy for your children when they are very young. Having a smaller age gap with your child can be lovely if it means you share more of the same interests, for example. There are a load of positives.

Social services are pretty overstretched, if they can see you are getting on with things fine, then they are unlikely to bother you much I would have thought.

Good luck x.

Shame on you all adult women bullying a teenage girl!!!
@Kat140 mumsnet brings out the best and worst in people. I am very sorry that you are experiencing this from women who should know better!!

You have done exactly what a loving mum does. Reach out on a forum for mums to ask about a question or concern.

See social services as an additional source of support.
They might be able to access groups and support for young mums, for instance.

Best of luck with your pregnancy, birth and beyond. ❤️

Yes. But in the eyes of the law, you're a child.

You can't legally buy alcohol

'people' younger than you are also children

Why are you being so defensive? You asked a question and you're getting answers as to why SS are to be involved
Surely you'd want all the support you can get?

What a bloody awful, patronising and unnecessary post to a 16 year old posting for advice. Of course it’s an attack on her - you haven’t even bothered to read the details of her post before launching into this diatribe. OP WAS using contraception - she was on the pill. I don’t know anyone in my circle on the pill who uses a condom as well. Both she and her partner are working and she is at college, and going back once the baby is born, so your assumption that they will be just another burden on the state is entirely wrong.

Fair enough if that’s your thoughts but I don’t think there’s a need to call anyone names, the original poster clearly didn’t mean any harm and was trying to offer good advice. It worries me how many people on here think talking to people like that is ok while criticising others. Guarantee you wouldn’t call someone at your work a fucking idiot to their face. It’s teenage keyboard gangster behaviour.

The cross examining and over analysing of every sentence a poster writes when they ask about personal issues is bad enough for grown women in their thirties who've been using this site for years.

I was 16 and pregnant too and my grammar skills were a lot worse than ops I'm sure if I'd posted back then I'd have been ripped to shit and left pretty upset and I was quite mature and mentally strong for my age. Remember everyone this is an expectant mother and 16 years too.

You're a social worker and don't think you need families consent to refer to social care unless immediate safeguarding concerns?

You're only just the legal age to work.
How will you provide for the child, Costa at least £2-3 thousand pounds to bring a baby home from hospitals.

Maybe that's their concern.

Nursery furniture, change units, toiletries, Pram, car seat, Moses basket, bouncer,
Bedding, bibs, vests, sleep suits, nappies, bottles, sterilisers, wipes, dummies, to name a few
Then the things you need, bigger clothes, pads, etc etc

Or mine. The referral would have been made because of OP’s age - she still comes under childrens’ services. OP look at the post above from@bigkahunaburger - that’s likely to be the most accurate description of what to expect.

This is the most helpful post for you OP really nothing to worry about.X

Yes that's normal in my area, it's to make sure you have the support you need. Legally you not an adult in UK till 18.

OP, congratulations, and try not to panic, there are some eye watering posts here!!!!!
@BigKahunaBurger is the voice of reason (and professional expertise!) so focus on her lovely post.

Stop being so bloody rude and condescending! Especially to a frightened young adult who is pregnant.

@Mickelodeonssnazzypot agree, I just caught up, the post has gone so far from the original question - poor girl, she's probably worried enough as it is. Sometimes forums help, sometimes they make your anxiety worse depending on who posts and their opinion!
@Kat140 don't read anymore, you'll be just fine

Congratulations OP, I'm sure you'll be a great mother. This thread is quite strange and I am sure you will find that social services are less judgemental than some posters here. Please be assured that they are not seeing you because they assume you can't be an OK parent, so there is no need to be defensive. They will be checking you have support and offering you information and resources, I expect.

BTW, when I used to hang about at the school gate I was definitely the oldest mum there (somebody researched it and told me!). I got matey with the youngest mum at the school gate, who was 15 when she gave birth. The age gap between us was insane, I was old enough to be her gran, but we got on really well (and over a decade on, our girls are still friends). I often used to wonder which of us was getting judged the most!

Maybe read the OPs posts and you will find out how she intends to provide for her child.
No way doesn't cost anything like 2-3 thousand pound to get what you need for a baby. You can get a cot for about £100, pram for a couple of hundred. You don't need special nursery furniture and baby clothes are cheap from supermarkets, primark etc