Boy/ girl - why do people care so much?

[pinkwaffles]

We've decided not to find out the sex of our baby until s/he is born. It's our first and probably only.

I appreciate I'm probably in the minority but I have been fascinated by people's reactions to this.

'How will you be able to buy anything?' being a big one.

'You won't be able to have a gender reveal!' being another.

Honestly - I don't believe in gender reveals or pink for girls/ blue for boys anyway - but even if I did - there are other colours!

I don't think my newborn is really going to care whether they are dressed in 'gender appropriate' clothes, and I'm certainly not fussed, in fact I'd rather they weren't.

It's just winding me up partly because my mum is desperate to know and is pressuring us to change our minds.

What do you think? To me it's kind of the least important thing - as long as I have a healthy baby, I'm genuinely happy and I cannot relate to the 'which would you prefer?' question. How can you have a preference before they are even here and you can't possibly know who they are going to be?

Why are you taking it as a personal insult that I didn’t want to raise boys yet calling others sensitive?

I didn’t find out with my two and I won’t with this one either. I just bought neutral bits to last the first three months, it wasn’t hard not knowing at all.

A lot of the time people are just making conversation, they don’t actually care what the sex is.

I didn't find out, really enjoyed finding out when they were born it didn't actually occur to me so I must have had a strong preference for not knowing!

I don’t think it’s a big deal knowing what sex it is, hence I found out. I think not finding out kind of turns it into more of a ‘thing’. Also, gives more time to ponder names. Absolutely nothing to do with clothes for me.

So if you had boys would you have lived them less? Treated them differently?

Yeah you can have an opinion on sex but as others have suggested your opinion is offensive.

I guess you hope your daughters are gay so that you don’t ever have to deal with men? Not sure how you got pregnant without a man. The exclusion of boys and linear behaviour is ridiculous.

@Cornflakes123 I have a little boy too and I think he's the most amazing little thing in the world, I couldn't imagine him as anything else. I'm now expecting a girl and have exactly the same sense of love as I did the first time so I get it - it doesn't matter to me either.

The reality is though people do feel differently and if people have a preference for either a girl or a boy, that's their prerogative. They may have their own personal reasons for feeling that way. Just do what I do and inwardly think wow you don't know what you're missing! People are allowed to feel how they feel as long as they're not hurting anyone regardless of who agrees and who doesn't 🤷🏻‍♀️

What are you talking about? There really is no need for the excessive dramatics.

I have no problem with boys. I simply didn’t want to raise them - and saying that isn’t offensive.

Boys are generally going to be more into sports, boisterous etc though if it's encouraged and expected because 'boys will be boys' etc and girls are going to generally be quieter and less messy if that is also encouraged. It's putting tiny children into these rigid traditional gender role boxes that causes it.

I love football but hate pink. I hope my daughters are the same, to be honest but if they hate football and love ballet, fair enough.

@MinnieBalloon the thing is if you HAD ended up having a little boy I can 100% guarantee you wouldn’t feel like that anymore and would feel besotted with him and not see any problem with having a second boy 🥰

Yeah, and I think boys should be like that. I like traditional gender roles and boxes.

I just didn’t want to raise a boy.

you still haven’t answered several questions. What would you have done if your child was a boy , treated them diffferent ? Loved them less ? I do think it’s sensitive someone being insulted by me calling out your pure pig ignorant comments and generalisations about boys.

Well no, you can’t 100% guarantee anything. I certainly know of boy mums who were disappointed with having a boy and as much as they love their son still wished they had had a girl.

Same the other way round.

Even when I had my 2 years ago (teenagers) most people seemed to find out the sex, we were unusual in that we did not. It seems even more popular now than then to find out. We did our nursery and bought items/clothes in neutrals and they ended up in blue pretty quickly anyway as we got so much as gifts

I don’t have to answer anything, I’m not here to be at your beck and call 😅

You’re oversensitive because you have a boy and are taking it way too seriously. You are offended other people don’t want boys. So what?

If you love your boy, then what does it matter that I wouldn’t want one?

@MinnieBalloon why bother having a discussion at all on the internet about anything ever then .why are you continuing to engage too ?

I don’t think there’s a huge amount of difference in the toddler/young child years with girls vs boys. With my little boy we did trips to the park, lots of baking, crafts, soft play, little role play games like tea parties and dinosaurs, feeding the ducks, colouring, CBeebies and Disney films etc etc. I’m guessing very similar to what you’d do with a girl?
i get that the teenage years are likely to bring different experiences and problems/challenges.

You think boys should be encouraged to be loud and messy but the reason you wouldn't want boys is because they are generally loud and messy?

I’ve seen gender disappointment threads where women are disappointed at scans or sad because they will never experience a girl or a little boy. But never where they are disappointed with their actual child and wish they didn’t have him/her once they are actually there. It’s usually a case of wanting a boy/girl AS WELL as their existing children who they love and adore.

Ditto the threads about mums of girls who are upset that their adult daughter is pregnant with a boy. It’s always before their grandson has actually arrived.

I have a boy and 2 girls. So far, I'm not noticing any differences but I also wouldn't allow my boy to be loud simply because he's a boy or expect my girls to be as quiet as a mouse because their girls. My girls are super little but one of them is incredibly loud. 😂