Boy/ girl - why do people care so much?

[pinkwaffles]

We've decided not to find out the sex of our baby until s/he is born. It's our first and probably only.

I appreciate I'm probably in the minority but I have been fascinated by people's reactions to this.

'How will you be able to buy anything?' being a big one.

'You won't be able to have a gender reveal!' being another.

Honestly - I don't believe in gender reveals or pink for girls/ blue for boys anyway - but even if I did - there are other colours!

I don't think my newborn is really going to care whether they are dressed in 'gender appropriate' clothes, and I'm certainly not fussed, in fact I'd rather they weren't.

It's just winding me up partly because my mum is desperate to know and is pressuring us to change our minds.

What do you think? To me it's kind of the least important thing - as long as I have a healthy baby, I'm genuinely happy and I cannot relate to the 'which would you prefer?' question. How can you have a preference before they are even here and you can't possibly know who they are going to be?

Agreed! It’s just a horrible American egocentric unnecessary event. Tacky.

What would happen if you had a boy ? How do you know you would not have wanted another one ? You don’t have boys so you don’t know this. You imply you would love a boy less if you had one… I bet this actually wouldn’t be the case if it actually happened. If you didn’t want to raise boys you shouldn’t have had any children . I feel if I raised a child with your beliefs about boys it would be a massive failure for me as a parent

@MinnieBalloon imagine the horror on your face if it had been a boy at your tacky gender reveal. You still haven’t explained what your problem is with boys. Your attitude is disgusting I hope your girls don’t grow up to be like you.

I don't regret finding out, but wish we hadn't told anyone else the sex. We've been inundated with hideous gendered clothing. 🫤 (I know I should be grateful that our families are so excited and generous enough to buy things and I know that babies don't care what they're wearing - but some of the stuff is really awful and just a complete waste of money. 🫣)

Yes, it was spectacularly depressing both being shown the sickly frilly tutus my SILs had planned to buy if DS had been a girl, and the HERE COMES TROUBLE/MOMMY’S LITTLE MAN stuff they did buy.

I do agree that it doesn't matter. We did find out - like you, we didn't care either way, especially as it was our first, and we would likely have another - but I didn't see any difference in finding out during pregnancy, or during the birth. It's just a difference of time, so what? I did want to paint my son's nursery blue (or pink had he been a girl), so it helped to know before, but not necessary.

I agree with this! I often ask just as small talk. And my response is always the same “oh a girl how lovely” “oh a boy how lovely” “oh a surprise how lovely”.

Also we found out for both children but didn’t tell anyone that we knew. That way we could get prepared etc.

Oh come on OP. You put a newborn baby girl in a babygrow with a tractor on it and it’s going to be mistaken for a boy.

Catch a grip ffs.

They would have just bought the same stuff once they did know the sex. It will go on for years too.

My DD wore babygros with trains and cars on and DS wore ones with flowers and kittens. They wore whichever I picked up first. Didn’t matter to me or them.

There really is no need for the vitriol just because you disagree with me.

I don’t have a “problem” with boys. My personal preference was to have girls. I got lucky and got what I wanted.

Me and DH had a 'gender' scan at 17w, we didn't care about the sex either way, it was just a fun additional scan to see baby and a nice experience to share together.

My mum on the other hand was obsessed with me having a gender reveal party, and it was all she spoke about. I think she wanted a big instagram moment tbh.

I didn't have one in the end, as I didn't really want one, and we also had some upsetting news at our 20w anomoly scan which is what we were waiting for before announcing to wider family or any gatherings etc. All that mattered for us was that our baby was healthy and so far so good (i'm 36w now).

We ended up telling family the sex via text, and wish we didn't now. It would've been nice to keep it just between me and DH.

It’s more than a preference though. You said you “didn’t want to raise boys”. Unless you had ivf and chose the gender, why did you risk getting pregnant at all. I think it’s natural and normal for people to have a slight preference. Most women like the idea of a daughter as they are the same gender as us.

It’s not normal to make statements like “I would have stopped at one as I wouldn’t risk having 2 boys” That’s a grossly abnormal statement to make.

presumably you used a males sperm to get pregnant. They aren’t all that bad you know.

So much drama here. I never said they were bad, nor did I imply it.

I said I did not want to raise boys simply because I really didn’t want to raise boys. My preference, and yes it was strong, was for girls.

@MinnieBalloon you are the one being dramatic. Like I say I don’t think someone like you should try for a baby in the first place with your attitude. You obviously do have a problem with boys so stop saying you don’t.

You can think whatever you like, but that doesn’t make it true.

I did not want to raise boys. I stand by that. That doesn’t mean I have a “problem” with them.

Maybe everyone else is just far more evolved than you? Or understands statistics better?

@MinnieBalloon perhaps you should get some help for your delusions.

Oh dear. More drama 😅

Why not? Sorry if you've answered already.

What a needlessly hateful and personal comment to make. Why are you so bothered that this random woman on the internet didn't want to raise boys?!

as a mother of a wonderful little boy I just really don’t appreciate people who have no experience of raising boys making insulting comments like “I wouldn’t want to risk having 2 boys”. and yes gender reveals are very tacky, that’s not personal several people have said it on this thread. You must be incredibly sensitive lol. If someone made a comment publicly about not wanting girls people would be up in arms. I’m entitled to call out such a ridiculous, uneducated comment

I don’t think it’s wrong to find out. It’s hardly a surprise as it’s only going to be one of two options.

I personally think gender reveals are very tacky.

We found out and it helped me think about names, getting ready etc.

Either sex would have been amazing but I was so glad to have had boys. I really don’t understand the feeling of wanting girls. Never even entered my mind this as preferred.

I am very much into traditional gender roles. I don’t like blue, or football, sports or anything else boys are generally into.

And of course there will be lots of comments of “oh but my boy is so quiet!” “My boy isn’t into sports!” “My girl is a tomboy!” “My girl loves to get messy!”

Blah blah blah. Totally pointless comments when the overwhelming majority of boys are loud, boisterous, into sports and getting dirty/messy etc.

I would have little to nothing in common with any of that, and no willingness to learn. I would also not want to be hanging around with other boys or their mums.

I like pink, femininity, and my quiet well behaved girls. Like I said, I got lucky and got exactly what I wanted.