September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

@kc92 thank you! To be honest I struggle more with other people's expectations than the sleep deprivation itself. Because baby is over 4 months, friends and family are constantly asking what we're up to, inviting us to stuff etc and we are just too sleep deprived. Friends are getting annoyed I'm not up for a coffee etc. I get constantly asked how baby is sleeping and it makes me feel like it's some kind of personal failure that he isn't.

My husband now lies and says baby sleeps fine, he'd rather not deal with the follow up questions of "have you tried XYZ".

If DH and I could just hunker down and everyone left us alone, we'd feel better. It's not like anyone is helping us at all anyway, both our families are completely useless! They just sit back and judge!

@HuggingAnIcePack887 i really feel for you, sleep deprivation is no joke. Our indie wakes up 3/4 times during the night and barely sleeps during the day. It’s exhausting and I feel so irritable which makes me feel awful for my eldest daughter. But I try to keep reminding myself it’s not forever, one day she will sleep and I’ll be wanting her to be little and wanting to be held again.

Indie co sleeps and I’m so sick of people telling me of ways to get her into a cot or that I need to be giving her formula when she’s been EBF making me feel like I’m not enough. But Indie is now in 3-6 m clothes so is clearly growing well so I tend to not listen

@HuggingAnIcePack887 bless you sounds really tough 😭 just take time to yourself and try to get as much chill time as and when you can. D

I hope it improves for you soon!

Esme will be a week post jabs tomorrow, and is still very sicky!! The fussiness seems to have died down a bit tho!

Our sleep pattern has degressed tho! She was having a 12.30am bottle and then sleeping till like 7.15am! So right through! She's back to waking in the middle for a 4.30am bottle, and then seems to wake and wanna get in bed with me between 6am and 7am.

This morning the little rascal didn't wake up until 9.45am tho couldn't believe it 🤣 well late for her bottle (she still goes on boob tho in between also so obviously that had settled her enough to go back to sleep!)

Things will get better everyone they have to! I was supposed to be talking about going back to work part time quite quickly .... Have asked for a meeting to hold it off now until end of march/beginning of April!

Was just about to go and let the dog have a run around the garden.... And Esme gave me this 😭🤣

My little man is 16 weeks on Tuesday. He has never slept for longer than four hours in one go at night and even that I can count on one hand. He wakes to feed 3-4 times a night. All naps are contact naps - he wakes instantly if we try to put him down. For the same reason, we bed share - the bedside crib has never been used to sleep in! He is EBF and feeds at least 12 times in 24 hours.

I do not understand how other mums in my antenatal group are going to gym classes, the pub, 9am baby sensory sessions, supermarket shopping etc. One of them supposedly put their baby to sleep at 7pm, went out to meet friends for a wine at 7:30 and didn’t even leave her DH any expressed milk, so confident was she that the baby wouldn’t wake for hours! That is simply not my baby!

Quite often I think it is more stress than it’s worth even trying to get out for a walk (what if he’s screaming with hunger mid-walk and there’s nowhere to feed him?), so we simply don’t go. I just stay on the sofa most days! It’s not at all how I expected things to be.

I totally get what you’re saying @HuggingAnIcePack887 ♥️ My New Year’s resolution is to be kinder to myself and try not to compare myself to other mums. My DS is hard work (in a lovely way!) but he is happy and thriving. And the evenings are going to get longer and the days will get warmer so I just have to hope it’ll get a little better soon.

@HuggingAnIcePack887 I hate hate hated those comments too! And now that I have an 'easier' baby I get "well it's because you're not so anxious this time". One well-meaning total bitch even said "oh good, you're relaxed this time so your baby can relax around you too".

@Emmaev I get the mum guilt so bad about my eldest not getting the best of me anymore. In a moment of insanity I've signed us up for a toddler sports class to "bond". Parent participation mandatory. I hate sports, just as much as I hate organized toddler activities. And the only free slot was 9am on a Saturday. 🫠

@Decaffe I think sometimes the mums in those classes are full of shit. 😂 In the best possible way! But it's easy to big up the one or two productive moments in a week in conversation or on insta, when the reality is most of us are covered in some kind of stale milk 50% of the time.

My response to anyone asking me is he sleeping is "I've given up trying to get a full night's, he will sleep when he will sleep" usually gives them the hint.

He is still waking every 3 hours no matter what I do. I've tried all the tricks, we were getting 4 sometimes 5 hours from 7pm to 12 but that's flipped off too with 4 months. Some night's he is waking every hour.

He is on new medication for reflux but I'm not so sure that it is actually reflux as he is squirming after bottles.and I'm fed up of trying all different things and no doctor listening to me. If they tell me one more time it is normal or dismiss me I might actually punch someone.

I've bawled about 3 times the last week. So just to say yep it's shit and I'm right there with you. I don't even want to think about weaning.

@Decaffe
Were of a strict feeding schedule according to my baby 😂 and have to feed every 2 hours.

We have NEVER had a night without 1 or 2 wake ups. We also only contact nap unless in the car or pram so you're not alone and doing everything right mumma.its got to be a temperament thing. So never blame yourself.

There is no possible way I could go anywhere in an evening. She's attached to my boob for most of it! She comes to bed with me at around 9:30pm and generally won't sleep until 10:30.

Does it send rage through anyone else when their DH asks "how did you sleep last night?" 😂 Bold of him to assume I've actually slept at this stage!

It's been back to back bugs in our house since Christmas, and I'm so tired from being up between the toddler & baby I feel like my bones are melting.

@kc92 it gives me the rage when he says he didn't sleep well last night, as in he only got 6/7 straight hours not 8/9. I don't think he will say it again.

We have had really bad 4 month regression here, he keeps wanting to be on his side but can't roll on to it. I put him on his side but he rolls back nearly every hour or two. I've tried rolling a blanket beside him but he somehow manages it. Anyone any tips? I know safe guidelines etc but needs must
He doesn't like sleeping on his back due to reflux.

@kc92 just general rage 😂 it makes me so angry that he can sleep. I've been so so unwell with flu and barely able to lift baby. The other morning she started crying at 5am, I was in so much pain. Roll over and see my OH sitting on his phone! Didn't bother picking her up.. I was so angry

Hey all, hope everyone's well. Random question..... But can anyone recommend a good cot bed mattress? I've read sprung is better if they are going to be in it a long time (like as a bed too/into being a toddler?) just thought January sales might be a good time to buy and finish off her bedroom. 😄

@TripleESept24 I got the Graco mattress but I didn't put that much thought into it, it just popped up as recommended when I bought the crib and it had good reviews!

Graco do one for a cot bed? Where did you get it? Thanks :) mamas and papas had a premium one was normally £219 down to £109 but don't understand what can be so special about them I was hoping to spend about £80 max really

Just popping in to see how everyone's doing and share some pics of my big Bear boy!

I'm so sorry to hear some of you are having such a tough time with sleep, I hope it eases for you soon - Bear's very touch and go, I mostly get a solid 7-8 but occasionally he'll have a bad night, its deffo irregular here haha 😅😅

@SpicyMoth oh he's goooorgeous!!!

We are actually in the middle of Ferberizing my son. He's very chunky for his age (almost 5 months) and was showing signs of randomly self settling so we decided it was time. Getting up every 45-90 minutes through the night was honestly making me suicidal, I'm not capable of dealing with such severe sleep deprivation.

We tried co-sleeping but it actually made things worse, being next to my boob made him wake up every 45 minutes looking for it anyway, it was awful. And when he couldn't find the boob within like 20 seconds, he would wake up fully and be awake for 1-2 hours.

He cried for 25 minutes the first night, 5 minutes the second night, zero complaints on night three, and only some whingeing (no crying or tears) on night 4.

He still wakes up for a feed at 2am and 4.30am on the dot but he sleeps through 18.30 - 2am. Ferber says to not even feed them but I don't think my son is ready for that. I feed and he goes straight back to sleep so I reckon I get a good 6 broken hours of sleep now.

If I don't let him "self-settle", it actually takes at least an hour of rocking and singing to put him to sleep so this is a huge improvement.

There's a lot of negativity around "sleep training" nowadays so I thought I'd share this here if anyone else is thinking about it.

I have read that sleep training earlier rather than later is quicker. When they hit 7-8 months they get smarter and there's a lot more tears involved.

I would like opinions and what people think would be best please!

I am thinking of travelling on the train on my own It's a 3.5 hour journey with 2 changes! Has anyone done anything like this?

I wanted ideally to take the pram with the carrycot but don't think this is a good idea as unless you are lucky enough to get in a wheelchair space, the pram needs to be folded down! (The carrycot doesn't fold down!) And would all have to go into the luggage storage.

Would I be better off just taking her in a sling or carrier? Only issue then is I will need a taxi the other end when I arrive in Wales! Are you only ok in a black style cab with her in the carrier?

Or I take the pram with just the car seat clicked on! But still alot of folding up and down and would still have to go in luggage storage area on train!

I don't know what to do I'd love to go visit family and there's really cheap train fares but this is killing it for me and giving me anxiety 😫

@TripleESept24 could you use the pushchair attachment so it folds up easily and still functions as a pram? We’ve been using ours for a while now as it lays flat so suitable from birth.

Not sure about taxis though!

Hi all
Currently still in the middle of the sleep regression! Although after 3 weeks of 1-2 hourly wake ups, we're now at 2-3hrs so can't complain 🤪 but the tiredness is real. @SpicyMoth I haven't had 7hrs sleep since before I fell pregnant. Don't think I will for another 5 years 😂

Can't believe the babies are 4 months now. We've started a mum and baby Pilates (chaos,) and a music group now. Both helping my sanity!

Have definitely had some wobbles and worries in on the cusp of PND. So hoping these groups and doing more will help. All stemmed from having flu and being house bound since Christmas until last week.

Anyone else been struggling with sleep/low mood?

@WinsandSam were also struggling with the 4 month regression. Indie has always been a 2/3 hour waker but now she’s up every hour. And fighting her naps all day so major sleep deprived here.

They do say they learn something new though and indie has learnt rolling front to back, also she’s learnt how to suck her tongue so that’s a lovely 3am wake up haha

@Emmaev it's really tough isn't it! Ruby has also never been a baby that sleeps through. I can't believe some babies do.

Ah well done Indie on the rolling. Ruby is desperate to sit up and likes being pulled to seated. Also very chatty and lots of LOL's. The hand sucking is yucky but she enjoys it

@TripleESept24 I'd take the car seat clicked on. That way you have a car seat for car rides too. I wouldn't only take the sling as you need to be able to put baby down at some stage!

@TripleESept24 oh I forgot to reply about the Graco mattress. They do make one for cot beds but I live abroad at the moment, I got it in the US, maybe they don't sell it in the UK.

How are we doing pals? Can we believe our babas are 4 maybe even z5m old!!!! We’re off for our 4m jabs Tuesday, got delayed with headcolds. Hopefully they’ll be ok! How are we all? Are we sleeping?

My lady isn’t a great sleeper. Still in the bed with me cos she’s waking every hour-90min ish and it’s easier. Exhausted!! And she only sleeps on the boob so breaking that association is gonna be hell. Should prob start soon though 😭

@PinkWatermelon88 our little lady turned 5 months yesterday, so crazy feels like 5 mins ago she was born.

We’re very much the same in the no sleep club, indie is still in the bed with me and boob to sleep. She has maybe 2/10 times soothed in her crib and fallen to sleep. It’s just not consistent at all and very short burst up to 2 hours.

Excited to start weaning next month, she’s very interested when she joins us at the table and everything is straight in her mouth at the moment. As much as I love breastfeeding it will be nice to have a little break hopefully with the extra food that others can give her