September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

@kc92 haha 3 mths ago I couldn't imagine falling asleep during a root canal but right now it sounds tempting! I'm with you on the DH camp, he was about to tell me how tired he was and I advised him not to finish his sentence 😂

@HuggingAnIcePack887 a lot of men just don't ''get' it or maybe they are right! For instance bottle washing DH would see them on the side but won't wash/sterilise straight away, he might do it 3 hours later whereas I want it done now. It's the mental load as PP said that we take on as mothers and it is tough with no sleep. We are 3.5 mths and he is pretty much still sleeping like a newborn due to reflux etc. It is a phase but it is hard being in that phase and we totally get it.
(Some men are great at the mental load sharing)

@kc92 you’re so kind checking in. I won’t lie…. I’m in the trenches!!! She’s STILL going through the won’t sleep phase. I’m like a zombie. I did get a 20 min nap in the bassinet out of her buggy today, massive win. But the longest I got in the sidecar was 7 mins last night. I’m cracking up.

I feel you all on the man rant to my CORRRREEE!! My Oh is wonderful and rubbish at the same time. I see what he does, and still it’s not enough to compete with the mental load. And with Christmas it’s even more consuming as, let’s be real here, mammies create Christmas.

My grief is in my face these last few weeks too I’m just devastated. It’s a lot.

@HuggingAnIcePack887 what an amazing milestone hit well done to your wee tot!! I can’t believe how quick they’re growing!!!

@PinkWatermelon88 is it possible she has silent reflux and that's why doesn't like lying down.? Maybe I asked you this already my memory has gone to pot.

Dont suppose anyone knows how long our wee ones should be sleeping at night without a feed?

Health visitor won't answer the phone and Google is giving mixed responses - Bear's started to not wake up for feeds and my phone alarm is temperamental and doesn't always go off, so a few times hes gone roughly 8 hours in one stretch with no boob?!

He seems fine, wet and dirty nappies still, but I worry about it affecting my overall supply as this seems to be happening more frequently >.<

I've contemplated a traditional alarm clock as that won't randomly just decide to not work, but my DP is very opposed so I'm at a bit of a loss really!

Also for those struggling with unhappy babies in tummy time I'm with you, as others have said doing it on your chest is a big help for me but not always.
Catching him in a good/playful mood is actually what helps the most for me, I test our his mood in the baby gym first then if he seems happy with that, I'll play with him there till I see him starting to get over stimulated I'll pick him up for tummy time on my chest.

Honestly the trickiest part is finding time to do it when there's no milk in his tummy as it makes him very sick if there is!

@PinkWatermelon88 gah that sounds exhausting! Mine wanted to sleep propped in the crook of my arm last night and woke up every time I edged it more than an inch away - I thought that was bad until I read the 7 minutes part. 🙈

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said the mental load of Christmas - it's the little bit extra that's just exhausting me. All lovely experiences but buying special Santa wrapping paper, and booking Santa visits, ordering another matching stocking, organising the gifts and the jumpers and the menu and the tins of sweets and the visits to extended family, etc., all adds up. The pressure of creating magic is a lot. And I can't imagine missing someone so special at the same time - you have super human strength to still keep going. ❤️

@SpicyMoth take the sleep and RUN with it. Mine was doing 6-7 hours the week before he decided sleep was for the weak. No guarantee he'll keep it up so enjoy it for as long as you can, and only worry about it if your supply dips IMO. Just be prepared for your period back - I got that lovely gift from the long stretches, right before sleep went out the window. @spicy

@SpicyMoth my PHN said let baby sleep without waking once they’ve hit birth weight. Your period may come back quicker if night feeds drop but your boobs will regulate themselves by 12 ish weeks.

@FuppinNora I don’t think so my friend as she can be laid down sometimes. Yesterday I got a mini nap from her in the basinette and this morning she lay watching her light mobile for a good hour…. It’s just at night! OH slept in with us last night to try help and saw how bad it was. Thank god he now realises !

@kc92 thank you my friend ❤️

Just posting to keep it real for other mums out there (although I’m starting to think DS is unique!). He’s 11 weeks old now and the longest he’s ever slept in one go is two hours and fifty minutes. He won’t be put down to sleep, not even for a nap. All naps must be in my arms and the only way he’ll settle to sleep overnight is bed sharing.

I can’t confidently agree to meet up with other mums as I can’t predict when he will be feeding or asleep etc. Cancelling on the day makes me feel so flakey and useless so I’m likely just not going to agree to meet up in the future.

I did sign up to some baby massage classes but I haven’t once made it on time (the other mums all manage). I’m not going to bother with classes again as it is a waste of money and all it really does is stress me out on the morning. They are on so early as well - I just can’t agree to arrive anywhere for 9:30. Other mums can do it but their babies sleep in the pram or in the car seat.

DS won’t sleep in a stationary pram, so I can’t order any food that involves cutlery on the rare occasion I do make it out of the house. He still feeds as frequently as he has always used to (EBF); the gaps certainly aren’t growing longer.

I have never, ever had a single nap in the daytime, because I simply can’t put him down. So ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ doesn’t exist in my world.

People told me it would ‘get better’ at six, eight, ten weeks, and that he would get happier to be put down to sleep. It didn’t, and he didn’t.

I saw this on another thread: But we're not the mums you see in the park or in cafes with our newborns. We're the ones at home, barely surviving from day to day. I didn't know newborns like mine existed.

Well I’m here to say, they do exist.

I love DS to pieces and he is an adorable little boy. But right now I am the only one I know who is experiencing what I’ve been experiencing and I feel like it is worth recording so that perhaps another mum of an eleven week old out there in the future will realise she’s not alone.

@Decaffe in many ways I feel you! Ru won't be put down for a nap EVER... she will wake within 60 seconds if I dare to try. never could I have a nap.

she generally does go in her cot at night but more recently we've been bed sharing a lot. She's been crying after her first sleep and won't go back in. Anything for some sleep.

Also if the car or pram stops moving she wakes up. Last 2 days she has screamed in the pram and the car and the carrier so I feel done in.

Groups are tough, like you say it's so hard to predict times etc. I've turned up and she's screamed for the whole session or slept through it 😂

I hope this gives you some reassurance that you're not alone. I love her to pieces but sometimes my tolerance for the crying is thin... that's ok though. We're only human 💕

@Decaffe I could have wrote that a few weeks ago except he would sleep for a few hours in crib but definitely arranging anything or eating out filled me with dread. Contact napping through the day just meant I ate chocolate biscuits for lunch.We are on week 14 and it has slightly gotten better, he has managed a 4 hour gap the last 2 nights and I even managed a coffee the other day while he slept in pram

I go to baby massage class and actually when you get talking to the women they are struggling too. One particular woman she came across very put together and chilled out l, baby seemed fine but when I spoke with her she said she can't get the baby down at all. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that they are all flapping and stressing on the inside too so even if you go and just hold baby it might just give you a chance to vent/less alone with others. If you are late so be it! They are damn expensive to be missing 🤣

That's not to say I don't plan a military precision to get out the door (usually the night before car is packed, clothes laid out). Just know you're not alone

@Decaffe thank you. Thank you for sharing your story and your experience. Your wee one sounds like a miss mash of my two girls. My first would scream non stop for no reason for like 6m. We could bring her nowhere! This one just will not be out down. I’m exhausted, no I don’t even think that covers it. I’m beyond exhausted. And yet I know, because of my first, that this will change. Maybe not in the next week or two, or month or two, but it will. Eventually. You’ve got this mama as do you @FuppinNora and @WinsandSam - we’re all in this together my friends xxx

@Decaffe what a lovely lovely post. I could have done with reading this on my first DS. ❤️ It's the shortest season of life, but it feels like the longest when you're in the thick of it. Crazy to think this time next year we'll all be holding their grubby little hands as they start to toddle, teaching them how to say "love you mama" and taking them out for babycinno coffee shop dates - this stage will all feel like a sleep deprived dream.

Just to add, it's absolutely nothing to do with the way you parent them either. Have had pretty identical approaches with both my boys, and wildly different experiences.

Ty KC and Pink! Very reassuring ♡

Oh Decaf you sound like you're really going through it right now, I'm not sure if the solidarity will help much but during the day Bear is definitely the same!

My lovely neighbour asked if I'd bring Bear round to show her DH as he's got mobility issues and can't really leave the house and is desperate to meet him... that was over a month ago she asked now, and I still haven't been able to!

I've not left the house pretty much since he's been born aside from maybe two or three times when I had no choice, if he's not on the boob or nap-trapping me, he's needing a change or inconsolable from colic - I'm still needing my DP to make and bring me food and drinks, I'm not able to shower nearly as much as I'd like to, and god forbid I need to run to the loo! 😅

My only down time is during the night, when it gets to around 11pm to midnight he'll just miraculously become okay with being put down to sleep for some reason

I really do sympathise, if not fully then partially - I hope things starts to ease up a bit for you lovely!
It sounds incredibly tough, but I'm sure you're doing amazingly! ♡

@SpicyMoth I don't know how you cope with staying in! I feel I'll lose my mind if I don't go out everyday, even just for a little walk. So hats off to you

I feel broken today. We've gone from waking once/twice a night to three/four times. Then not wanting to sleep in her next to me. Eyes open when she hits the pillow. No idea what's changed, maybe a growth spurt or something. All since being unwell and then having jabs

@WinsandSam I definitely do not deserve any hats off, I feel like an actual slug honestly!
Probably look like one too at this point lol 😆

I'd like to go for walks, I'm just not confident enough to go on my own, anxiety and insecurity are ruling me right now and DP always seems put out whenever I ask or suggest it 😅

@SpicyMoth I'm sure you don't! Or maybe we all do 😂 it's so hard with the anxiety taking over. I have many things I won't do alone; such as shops, supermarkets, driving long distances etc. not worth the panic attack it'll cause

@SpicyMoth 3 months in is still very much in the thick of it! I find parenting much much easier out of the house though. The walls close in on me if I'm inside with the kids - overstimulation creeps up within minutes. 😂

I was so nervous leaving at the start too - did a few practice runs around our old estate before I ventured more than 5 minutes afield.

Braved city shopping alone for the first time today! 💪 feel proud of myself. Even met a friend for lunch. Success. Was crapping myself 😂 had a pit stop in a department store for a boobie break. It's all about knowing the right places to feed/change her

@SpicyMoth I feel the same re going out. It's such hard, hard work. It totally throws off baby and he sleeps really badly at night if he misses his daytime naps. So it doesn't benefit either of us!

I also seem to have the only baby who does not fall asleep in a pram while walking! He will scream murder until we stop!

Well done @WinsandSam no stopping you now!

Those that have babies who cry in buggies have you tried changing from the lie down carrycot to the pushchair attachment? My Ds had to be changed over at 8 weeks and he loved the buggy then. He was just nosey(and reflux)and could see what was going on and could see me also!

Teething started here this week, hells bells, just as you get over 1 hurdle the next hits.

@@FuppinNora hopefully! Still makes me anxious.. think it's the unpredictability of her crying 😭 and being alone. Even ventured to some shops today. Think as long as I have the sling with me I feel safe as she sometimes cries in the buggy

You’re not the only one! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Before I had DS I thought I’d be strolling around all over the place every day. But: it’s cold / the pram lives in the boot of the car (on street parking) and it’s a right faff getting it out, setting it up, transferring him (and then all in reverse once we’re home)/ as you say there’s no guarantee he’ll sleep and then we get home and he’ll be over tired as he’s missed out on a nap!

I also thought I’d be able to go shopping or to cafes with him but again, I’m finding that I prefer to stay at home because it’s not worth the stress of him becoming hungry or grizzly and screaming and crying in the middle of M&S! I was in a shopping centre the other day and had to stop every few metres for a cuddle and feed. I thought ‘there’s just no point to this, if all I’m doing is feeding him to keep him happy I may as well have stayed on the sofa!’

Also as he won’t sleep in a stationary pram, cafes are out unless I hold him the entire time. We have a family meal in a smart restaurant next week and quite frankly I’m dreading it as I know he won’t sleep in the pram.

I love that photo @WinsandSam you look amazing. Where’s your coat from?!

Oh I know what I wanted to ask. Since about 11 weeks, DS has been having a really terrible time with wind. He holds his whole body stiff as a board and cries his heart out.
Only once he’s farted or pooed does he feel better.

Usually boob soothes all cries but he’s actually still crying his eyes out while feeding, which makes me feel awful. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal at this stage? It’s been going on about 1.5 weeks now.

@WinsandSam beautiful photo! & I second the ask for the coat link. 😍

@FuppinNora that's good to hear - I bought a second hand out n about double buggy & DS will have to go in the pushchair style once it's cleaned. I vaguely remember swapping my first over early because he screamed in the carrycot, but for some reason I feel nervy doing it this time!

@Decaffe poor mite! Could it be diet related by any chance? Noticed mine has had bad wind / green poos the last week and I've been horsing celebrations & heroes in before Christmas. Killing me to cut them down.

& just did handprint art for the first time with baby - I am oddly emotional over it! Feeling like he's my last baby & I'll never see little hands this small again.

@Decaffe thank you.. honestly I was full of panic that she was going to wake up (which she did and cried.) it's quite overwhelming. I do believe as they get a bit bigger it'll be easier as they look around. She loved all the Christmas lights etc

We've had tummy pain since that horrid rotavirus vaccine! Dreading the second one.

Also, @kc92 My coat is from white stuff maybe last year or the year before! Sure it'll be on Vinted.. size down as they're massive!

Hello everyone! Hope all of you and babies are well......

I don't check in so much anymore as I've started being more active getting out and about more doing more round the house and obviously it's Christmas! So lots of shopping and getting organised etc!

So excited for our babies first Christmases 😬 I haven't bought Esme hardly anything! As I know everyone else will and she won't know anything!

I really wanted to drop some weight before Christmas as I know I'll be eating and drinking loads (already gone through a few bottles of baileys which isn't good for the waistline!!) I am struggling massively to drop my last stone 😫 can't seem to budge from 11 stone 9 and i was 10 stone 10 in Jan

What size nappies is everyone in? Esme had her rough start with weight gain.... Dropping lots of weight in the first few weeks and struggling to put it on! But I got her weighed this week and she was 11 lbs 9 Oz and is 12 weeks old now so doing so much better!! 🥰 I thought her size 2 nappies were getting a bit tight.... And we had a few poonamis! But I bought size 3 and they seem too baggy and we had a poonami right up her back! So I'm sticking with size 2s for now......

Have any babies started teething? Esme gets quite fussy at times and shes always wanting hands in mouth and dribbling! Feels a bit early tho? You can fully see where her bottom teeth are going to be!

Little festive outfit I got from river island when I was pregnant in 0-3..... Only worn it once and it's a bit short 😫 will get one more wear out of it I expect .....