September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

@TripleESept24 i’d take advantage of the sleep! My baby has a longer stretch usually between 10ish and 4, and then feeds more frequently during the day. Every 3-4.5 hours usually.

Although feeding continues to be a real issue for us! After my breast clinic referral stress (thankfully turned out to be breast-pump induced nipple damage and has now gone back to normal!), I thought surely we were out of the woods with our feeding journey. DS was already on a prescribed formula for suspected CMPA. But over the last 2-3 weeks, the reflux has come back and this morning he projectile vomited most of his feed through his nose. He took over a month to regain his birth weight which was on the 68th percentile. At 6 weeks, he was on the 5th percentile. At 8 weeks, he dropped again to the 3rd and at 9 weeks he was on the 2nd. We’ve got another weight check this week now he is 10 weeks and I’m so scared he will be on the 1st percentile! Does anyone know what happens if that is the case? Will they send us to A&E?

We’ve been feeding exclusively formula according to the packaging but the GP said that means I am over-feeding him as he doesn’t weigh enough to follow those guidelines. But he is barely gaining weight! I have asked for a paediatric referral as this just can’t be normal. Either his milk allergy is more severe and needs Neocate not Nutramigen, or there is something else going on. It’s so worrying. But otherwise he is really quite the happy little baby. He smiles so much and burbles at us like he’s having a conversation, and he’s so alert. In some ways he’s probably a bit ahead developmentally, but then his weight gain is making him so small. He was one of the first babies born in our NCT group, and when we met up this week he looked like one of the smallest, which broke my heart a bit.

@TripleESept24 no, I only feed him when he wakes up. So he goes 9.30 pm - 4.30am with no milk and he's fine. He feeds more in the day. He feeds a ton when he wakes up and then starts cluster feeding around 5/6 pm. This is on a typical night. He'll have a few nights a week when he's hungrier. Which screws me over because the next night my breasts fill up and they get super painful so he sleeps but I bloody can't!!!

I think you can let them do what they want at this point as they will demand milk if they want it. If you can get an extra hour of sleep, do it!

To those of you getting great stretches of sleep, do you bed share or is your baby in their own cot?

@Decaffe my baby has no interest in bed sharing with me (I actually wanted him to, so that BF would be easier), so he's in his own cot 😐

Envious of those getting a good rest at night - I spoke too soon when I called mine a good sleeper. 😂 He was doing amazing stretches up until 8-ish weeks. Then I got my period back and it tanked my supply, his teeth started moving up (still haven't cut) and he hit a massive growth spurt. Last night wasn't too bad but our longest stretch was 4 hours, followed by every 2 hours. My body feels broken when he sleeps next to me, from the cuddle curl position, so I don't really want him in any sooner than 5am.

Hoping it calms down soon because he can't keep stretching!! He's already too long for some of the 3-6 month sleep suits we have, and he's only 11 weeks today.

If I were you @TripleESept24 I'd take the sleep while you can, because it's not guaranteed to last.

@RosiePH that sounds intense!! Good for you for advocating for a paeds referral - hopefully they can get to the bottom of it. Could you try the neocate in the meantime or is that worst case scenario only?

@RosiePH I think nutramigen has soy and if they have a dairy allergy, they often have a soy one too. I know my baby is sensitive to both dairy and soy. If you're still expressing milk (as you mention nipple damage), have you looked into just breastfeeding and changing your diet? I'm EBF and the allergies are the reason I'm still doing it. It's meant I can't have a single restaurant meal (we live abroad and they use soy at every single restaurant here as it's super cheap) and everything must be cooked from scratch, which is hard going. But it has made a world of a difference.

We were back and forth with the paediatrician and she recommended breastfeeding over formula as in her experience it can be too problematic with allergies.

Im very jealous of all your sleep, indie is still a very regular 3 hour feeder morning, noon and night. Along with the cluster feeding in the evening. We do bed share though so I just whip my boob out by night or id never sleep. I feed her on demand, but she’s only ever slept 5 hours one time from 10pm - 3am. Do EBF babies ever sleep through? Or is it just how my baby is?
My eldest was formula fed and she use to sleep 12 hours straight at 3 months. So they’re 2 very different babies

@Emmaev think it's just a temperament thing. My baby is EBF and sleeps through. Not saying that to rub it in but just to say each baby seems to do his/her thing 😂i know I'm lucky!

@Emmaev @HuggingAnIcePack887 definitely a temperament thing - my first was an every 45 minute / would love to be latched all night baby. 🫠 We do give a bottle before bed though, that I think does help get the first longer stretch. Usually my milk but formula if I haven't gotten a chance to express. Only 2-3 oz, as my main goal is to avoid bottle refusal, but he sleeps very soundly after. Plus it helps avoid evening cluster feeds.

He didn't want it this evening so I'm half dreading tonight.

Anyone else got really bad lower back pain still??? When I stand from sitting I struggle to stand up straight.... So stiff and painful

@TripleESept24 yeah. I also find it weirdly difficult to go all the way down to the floor (e.g. to play with DS on the mat). I'm like a 90 year old woman going up and down.

I’m close to breaking mamas. My lady will still not lie down anywhere for me and so is on me 24/7. I’ve tried everything from swaddling to a heat pad white noise tilted cot the works. I can’t even get her off me to cosleep safely. I have to hold her all night.
My partner is just not helpful. I’m basically doing this all alone on top of really raw grief. It’s so so hard 💔💔❤️❤️

@HuggingAnIcePack887 honestly I feel the same like a frail old woman! Yes I can't bend down to put pots and pans away in the cupboard even!! 😭 I googled it and think it's quite normal post partum but I also have our GP check tomorrow so will mention it

@PinkWatermelon88 🥺🥺🥺 sending you lots of love and hope that little lady will start to settle soon, I had this in the first few weeks but she's good at going down now at 9 weeks. Can your other half just take her for a few hours so you can have a bubble bath some you time and a sleep? Is she breast fed though or bottle? Can you express so he can give her some? Things will get better I know it's hard to see right now but they will promise 💕

@PinkWatermelon88 I can only imagine how you feel, it can be hard to feel so touched out and arms aching not to mention the exhaustion. Have you siblings or friends that could take baby for few hours during day? My DH isn't great with baby either though he does try, he says he feels really anxious around him as he is afraid he can't grt him to stop crying. DH has started to do small times to build up his confidence with him and managed most of yesterday morning with him. Is this something yours would be open to? Is baby formula fed or breast fed? Could there be an intolerance there as to why she can't settle?

Don't worry @Emmaev I'm also in the 3 hour camp at nearly 13 weeks, though he has done 4 hours in some parts the last 3 nights. I feel like a new woman 😂

Went to baby massage class and oh my word ladies I am sorry I didn't go earlier within a half hour he had poonami and has been every day since. Totally recommend. Even if I met another 3 month old who sleeps through the night. 🥴

3 month development check this week and GP visit to hopefully get prescription formula as he still having cramps and reflux🙄 no wonder he can't sleep through the night as he isn't getting enough during the day.

Hope you are all doing OK 🙂

@PinkWatermelon88 You are an absolute hero. I don't know how you do it. I don't have the same problems as you and I am breaking point.

DH is wonderful with the baby after I have a huge meltdown. I'll shout and we have a massive argument and then he's a great partner. Except I'm then not able to sleep because of the arguments, the unfairness of it all, I'm a shell of myself and think this baby is the biggest mistake i have ever made.

A baby really is a shock to the system .

@TripleESept24 yes!! My bones hurt just from lying on my side. I feel like a creaky old woman in my early 30's. Have ran out of omega supplements and think that's making it worse too.

@PinkWatermelon88 that's so so rough - the unfairness of it actually can't be put into words. Does your partner realize how unhelpful he's being? Or is he blind to it? Not sure which would be worse tbh but I know mine wasn't very hands on until about 6 months the first time. I used to Google divorce lawyers for funsies during the night feeds. 😅 It makes everything feel even lonelier when they're being twats.

& @HuggingAnIcePack887 the mental load of trying to force them to step up too is another thing you have to deal with. Babies are most definitely a huge shock!! With your little ones allergies are you able to get away for time for yourself at all? Just struck me you probably can't give formula as easily.

@kc92 formula is out, we tried it and he hates the taste of the prescription formula. I've pumped a few times to get me a break but it led to another breakdown because it was so much work, I got zero downtime on the days I pumped. So I need to go back to just breastfeeding, I've put the pump away.

I actually hate how pumping is being touted as THE magical solution to all breastfeeding problems. I've had so many people suggest it to me, I thought I was mad to not try it. I blame instagram and American influencers making everyone think pumping is this easy amazing thing mothers should do.

@HuggingAnIcePack887 that's an absolute dose!! And I'm with you on pumping - I hate it so much. The chore of finding time to do it, cleaning the pump, storing it, prepping the bottle. Plus it's uncomfy. 🫠 I stick the haaka on the opposite side while feeding to express, but that feels like a chore as well and I never get much.

@HuggingAnIcePack887 I also had to give up on pumping! I have sent you a private message too, hope your ok xx

@HuggingAnIcePack887 you're right, finding time to pump is hellish and just makes you feel like you have 0 time in the day - I feel like a literal cow when I do it, which isn't very often at all. Pumping is very hit and miss I've found :/

@PinkWatermelon88 that sounds really tough! You must be exhausted. My baby is EBF and wants to be on me all day. She's settling less with other people now.

@FuppinNora my partner is the same and really anxious about baby crying (which she does a lot with him.) says she doesn't like him, hates him etc. so I try and give her to him when she's most happy and it's seems to be working.

@Emmaev my baby does not sleep through the night. She tricked us with a few 6hr stints but that didn't last. She sleeps longer when she has awful evenings and tired herself out crying 😢

@HuggingAnIcePack887 I'm sorry you feel that way. In what way is he unhelpful? I'm sure those feelings will pass once life becomes easier. You'll look back and be so proud of what you did and achieved.

I've found since having a baby I've never been so annoyed with my partner. We've fallen out a lot and I have minimal patience as am so touched out and tired all the time

@WinsandSam i totally get you with all touched out. Indie is on me pretty much all day, if I put her down she cries more often than not. So when my eldest climbs all over me I just think can you not and I feel awful for even thinking it. Of course I always give her hugs. I just feel over stimulated all the time. So when my partner tries to get close it’s like give me a minute please haha. Hoping this feeling will pass haha

@Emmaev there is no touching my partner 😂 a kiss to say hello and goodbye is enough. Maybe a hug every other day. Lol

A hug every other day??? Wow your guy is lucky. Mine feels lucky if I growl in his direction 🙂 I am doing the same and seems to be working also.

@HuggingAnIcePack887 would it be a good idea to go see GP to explain how you are feeling? Sounds really tough at moment.

I read this somewhere and helped me take a step back and breathe " I know it's hard Mama, I know it's hard to get up every day and have these babies relying on you. I know its hard to feel like your world is small. I want to remind you that YOU are THEIR world. You are their safe place. You are everything to them."

I can't remember who has similar Ds to mine regarding bowel movements and reflux so hopefully you see this. There was talks about prescription formula the last time, today GP asked me to go back to the public health nurse to get her advice re formula. Rang her and she said it was up to GP!! She did go and speak to dietician who recommended cooled boiled water and apple juice. I lost it then, poor nurse she invited me and luckily while there DS needed a bottle and she could see him cramping up after 60ml. She suggested going on Pepti until I get to see GP (who was supposed to call back this afternoon but hasn't). She referred me to the dietician also.

So I am none the wiser and not sure why no one will just call it. I can't see the harm in trying it out for 2 weeks and seeing if it helps him. Cooled boiled water my backside! Their answer to everything.