Sept 2024 - Thread 10!

[SpicyMoth]

Saw we hit page 40, so figured I'd get a head start on the next thread just in case!!

Oh gosh, I just thought, there may not be very many more of these threads - I wonder if this one may even be the last?!

HUGE congrats to @MudandMoet on their gorgeous wee one!!
Best of luck on your way home this afternoon/this evening, I'm desperate to ask all about what it was like but I'll avoid that as I don't want anyone to get nervous/anxious about what's to come!!

Super glad you're feeling mostly okay and so so SO happy for you! <3

@TripleESept24 well, you knew it! Glad they've got to the bottom of it. Sorry to hear Esme is losing weight, sure she'll gain it back soon.

@RosiePH sounds like you're having a really rough time. I'm sorry you feel guilty but try not to! Sounds like you are doing/trying everything to make sure baby is well cared for and fed. It's all you can do! You can't help that feeding didn't work out, sounds like it's a mix of many circumstances. Please don't feel bad about the c section! I'm a c section baby and my baby was born via section too. It was obviously the right decision for you at the time. You'll never know if he'd have had allergies if vaginal birth. Hope you're getting lots of support from those around you.

Had to get my c-section wound swabbed last week, was given antibiotics but have just had a call that the swab results are back and I've now been given different medication to take.

Googled the medication, and now massively regret doing so.

It looks like its very possibly the same infection type that led to my mum getting Gangrene and being in hospital for months on end when she had me back in the day...

My mum confided in me just now that she's relieved I got medication for my specific infection type as she's been having nightmares about what happened to her, happening to me - but now I feel like I absolutely can't tell her what I've found out from google even though I'm having an absolute mare and panic about it all now 🙃 😅

Why do I do these things to myself?

My GP is now not taking calls and I can't get through to midwife or health worker either for advice :/

So does anyone have any tips for infection per chance?
They said at the hospital not to use anything on it, no antiseptic creams or healing creams and just to wash it daily with water and let soap from your upper body or shampoo from washing your hair run over it, but now its full blown infected I'm considering using anti-bacterial washes or something - is that a bad idea do you guys think?
It really feels like just water and soap run-off just isn't cutting it cleaning wise :/

Oh @SpicyMoth bless you!! I wouldn't know what to advise on a cs wound! but it seems like lots of us have issues going on. I can't wait for things to settle down and get some sort of routine, I knew the first weeks would be hard but not as hard as it's been.

Can u not leave a voicemail so HVs call u back first thing?

@WinsandSam yeh I know my body and have had enough UTIS in my life two during pregnancy! I knew it was one! I wasn't convinced esmes mouth was thrush, but she has been extremely fussy and sometimes gets frustrated on the boob and when they came out today and opened wide and looked with torch in there it's on her lips inner cheeks under tongue and roof of mouth, I'd only noticed tongue! So at least they've picked it up...... Hopefully all will be cleared by the weekend for the two of us! But her treatment is 7 days and mine (for the thrush/a nipple cream) is 14 days!

It does seem to be that way doesn't it @TripleESept24 ?!
We'll all power through im sure of it!

HV does take voicemails but they unfortunately have form for just... Not responding to them sadly :/
I'd left voicemails to both them and my MW multiple times throughout the pregnancy and never got replies, I only ever got answers when I was physically in the room with them 🙃

I can only assume they're just constantly busy or overwhelmed or something, feel very on my own because of it though :/

Ahhhh bless you! That's rubbish, my HV and midwives have been extremely good here in Nottingham since giving birth for getting back to me and coming out and seeing me!!

Keep calling them tomorrow!!

@SpicyMoth I had an infection in my wound, you'll be surprised how quick they work. The nurse suggested I could use cooled boiled water and cotton wool and to pat it off I wanted l. I decided not to

I haven't told my family or friends in Cornwall HOW MUCH I am struggling......... Should I? I think they will worry terribly and feel helpless that's why I haven't said anything so far.

My mum won't do long distance driving and my best friend doesn't drive. So they can't just get in a car and come. Mum's been once on a train (7.5 hours and expensive) I think they would just feel helpless and extremely worried but I feel like I have no network other than the midwives and HV's and feel like I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Should I choose to just tell one close person down In Cornwall so I have someone to talk to? Sorry I feel like I have absolutely used this forum for support and help as it's the only place I can write my worries and write how I feel. I have also been writing a daily diary on how I'm feeling because I feel like I need to write down everything daily.

I know about baby blues etc I just hope this passes. I was so lucky with my daughter 20 years ago she was such an easy baby! I was 18 and yes I had all my family around and support but I don't ever remember feeling like this! I knew it would be hard, and I know I've been having extra issues like a UTI, Esme having oral thrush, weight issues and having no family or friend network, but I honestly didn't think it would be this hard and I am just praying for some relief from feeling like this soon........

Sorry for rant I just don't know where else to turn right now or if I should worry someone down in Cornwall or see if things start to improve first.

@TripleESept24 you absolutely should! Tell people, share your feelings as I promise it'll help. Sounds like you really need to have people around you for support/a listening ear.

Would mum or friend come and stay for a significant time?

Would you also speak to a professional? Might be worth reaching out to nhs talking therapy/IAPT/wellbeing (not sure what area you are in and what they offer.) locally there is a perinatal part of this service who I was under pre birth. Really helped! No shame in it

My mum probably would come and stay for as long as I needed however our house isn't a great set up for visitors it's a sofa bed in a tiny room where you can just about get out the sofa bed and the door! As Esme's nursery took over the other bedroom

I will look this up and ask midwives about some extra support too thank you

@TripleESept24 most definitely tell your family and friends!! And your health team as @WinsandSam suggested. A problem shared is a problem halved, it'll help you feel so much better.

I had PND on my first and honestly going to therapy was a lifeline. Left my first appointment feeling so so much lighter. Wish I had reached out for help before it was at that point because I definitely think I could have enjoyed motherhood so much more if I'd reached out when it started to feel a little more than baby blues.

Really hoping things turn a corner for you soon. ❤️

@TripleESept24 I'm sure if your mum is anything like mine, she won't care where she sleeps. As long as she's getting baby cuddles! It just allows you some time to yourself, for a little walk, doing some housework, having a nap etc.

Ah @TripleESept24 Im so sorry you are feeling so down. You've got so much going on, ontop of being freshly post-partum. Its the greatest hormonal shift women will ever go through, its a massive ordeal.
Like others said, I'd tell your loved ones AND lean on the peri-natal mental health team. You deserve support and help x

@TripleESept24 I live abroad and also have zero support, no friends or family as we moved very recently. I flew my mum over, she arrived on Saturday, to help. I had no idea how much I needed her. Absolute game changer. I would be in the depths of PND now as i was at breaking point. Please tell someone, you need family and friends now. And keep posting here, I have found this group immensely helpful.

I've decided after lots of research and reading reviews the breast pump I have is utter garbage!

I have my infant feeding one on one at the hospital 11am tomorrow where finally I will get a proper assessment and advice and hopefully a plan in place to get this babies weight up!!!!

I am totally reluctant to spend any more money at present on a pump..... But if my boobs are producing it enough and I do invest in one can anyone really recommend one?? My sister in law recommended this but my god it's pricey! And until I actually know my milk supply is decent I couldn't even fathom spending that much!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BKGM4WSF/?encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0BKGM4WSF&ref=sbx_be_s_sparkle_ssd_img&qid=1728582383&pd_rd_w=Nvz9R&content-id=amzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666%3Aamzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_p=632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_r=13G0QP7NG59RHDXE9PAM&pd_rd_wg=fvqo9&pd_rd_r=5e5146d0-8522-4392-8fd6-6bac66708f2d&pd_rd_plhdr=t

@TripleESept24 everyone seems to have differing opinions on pumps but generally speaking for best output you need a “hospital grade” pump. Medela do a rental of their pumps, it’s around £45 a month if i remember rightly and they deliver to your home. I’d really recommend that, I know it’s a lot of money to pay every month but at least if you’re not keen on it/don’t continue pumping, you can return it within the first month and not have to pay anymore!

Sounds like a good option thank you!!

Oh also I used a Medela one in hospital, milk had not come in though, only colostrum.....I got hardly anything but also noticed my nipples are large and they literally filled the entire flange bit/felt tight and like they were preventing the pump from suctioning properly!

I bought this one second hand on Marketplace for like €60!! I steralised it to within an inch of its life and it’s perfect. Agree though that the hospital grade ones are fab, see if you can get one!

any one else’s baby in the bed full time now? I really don’t want it to be like this but I’m too tired to kwep putting her back in the cot when she wakes so much more in there! Least in bed she gets 3h stints. I need more perseverance cos I really do want her to sleep in her cot 🙈

@TripleESept24 I'm not pumping yet so can't say. But, my friend is using this one after being lent it from the hospital and highly recommends! Not cheap at around £150 but guess if the hospital uses them they must be good

There are different sized flanges. You can get a nipple measurement tool from Amazon for a few quid, then pick the sized flange to suit. Some people need inserts to make the flanges smaller and more suited to them, but from what you’re saying it sounds like you needed to size up. It seems like a minefield to start with but it really does make all the difference if you’ve got a set up that works and is comfortable for you.
As @WinsandSam says, Ardo is another brand the hospitals use.

Hi all, I’ve been awol from the thread for a while but just wanted to stop in for what will most likely be my final contribution!

I had my beautiful baby girl 2 weeks ago - induced due to GD which then led to an emergency CS after 4 days of trying to make the induction work. Got as far as 8cm dilated in that time before baby’s heart rate dropped significantly and they gave me and my husband 10 minutes to decide if we wanted to risk continuing with a vaginal birth or have a CS. It’s been quite hard mentally dealing with the CS as I was adamant I did not want one, but my baby is here safe and well and that’s what’s most important.

For those struggling with weight gain for the baby, please don’t lose hope. My baby lost 14% in 5 days while I was trying to establish breastfeeding and we had to be readmitted to the hospital. It was horrible and I felt horrifically guilty, but with the support of the infant feeding team she had gained enough for us to be discharged the next day, and now she’s completely back on track and back on her starting percentile, so as quickly as it can go badly, it can also turn around. So please don’t give up hope, just make decisions that are good for you and your baby.

To those of you who I’ve “known” on here from the very early stages of pregnancy, thank you for all the support getting through the tough times! To the newer names that I’ve seen on the thread, I hope you find this group as helpful as I did. To all of you, enjoy your babies and good luck with what the next few weeks and months bring!

@Lillers congratulations 💕 so lovely to hear of the birth of your little one! Like you say, this group has been amazing from the first few weeks of pregnancy. A real life saver

Congrats @Lillers 😊 enjoy your baby

I also went a bit AWOL, and had only joined at the last minute anyway (after a long time lurking!).

Our girl arrived on 3 October at 41w+2. Labour took from 7am Wednesday morning to 7pm Thursday evening, but it was everything we wanted it to be and birth was really amazing. She measured totally average throughout pregnancy and arrived at a chunky 3.98kg (8lb 12oz) to our surprise. She has been doing really well so far with feeding etc.

The hardest thing is sleep as she really won't sleep anywhere other than in someone's arms/on our chest, so we're only getting very very short stints in her cot at night or moses basket during the day, and then she's wide awake and crying and won't go down unless she's fed again. We're managing, but it's definitely not sustainable so we'll keep trying to put her down from time to time. We also live abroad and have little support so we're like two zombies just trying to figure things out, but I can't believe it's been 8 days already!

It has been really reassuring in the middle of the night to come back on to the forum and see that we are all facing different struggles with healing, feeding, sleeping etc. I haven't been much of a contributor but I'm finding some peace on here knowing I'm not going through it alone!

Big hugs to those of you having a rough time and I hope everything gets better in the coming days and weeks for you all ❤

@sorchanim hang in there! 8 days was peak sleep deprivation for me but it slowly gets better. My little chunk is 6 weeks already and those days feel like a distant memory already.