Sept 2024 - Thread 10!

[SpicyMoth]

Saw we hit page 40, so figured I'd get a head start on the next thread just in case!!

Oh gosh, I just thought, there may not be very many more of these threads - I wonder if this one may even be the last?!

HUGE congrats to @MudandMoet on their gorgeous wee one!!
Best of luck on your way home this afternoon/this evening, I'm desperate to ask all about what it was like but I'll avoid that as I don't want anyone to get nervous/anxious about what's to come!!

Super glad you're feeling mostly okay and so so SO happy for you! <3

Hey hope everyone is doing well, little man is 3 weeks old tomorrow and it's going so quickly. I'm not going to lie, by the end of each day I'm struggling abit, with tiredness and feeling overwhelmed and like I've got so much to do but so little time and energy to do it (I have other kids too) and I'm finding recovery abit slower this time, it doesn't take much for me to feel really exhausted and done in, and if I overdo it I get dull period like aches and increased bleeding. Baby is also quite fussy at the moment, he doesn't settle much in the day unless he's being held and when he's awake he's very gassy and crying alot. It's not my first rodeo but I think to some extent no matter how many other babies you've had, you kind of forget a bit how hard going these newborn weeks can be 😣

@UnicornRainbow2 this is a link I have shared before on how to attach the baby, I think it's the most useful one I have seen, it's very thorough:

https://globalhealthmedia.org/videos/attaching-your-baby-at-the-breast/

@kc92 my baby's acne got increasingly bad at week 4-5 and now at 6 weeks it's finally drying and can see it will be clearing. I expect in another week or two it will be gone. My baby is quite ginger and gets red easily so it's been looking quite bad (and older relatives have been so insensitive about it). I did contact my paediatrician who suggested washing it with water twice a day and dabbing some breastmilk as it has anti inflammatory properties. I think it has helped.

I had my baby on Friday!!!! He's absolutely gorgeous and came in at 8lb 11oz (one week overdue) so a big boy but not the monster predicted by some of his growth scans hahaha

Labour was pretty long and gruelling but my partner was amazing and my parents have been fantastic too, they met the baby when he was two hours old and are obsessed with him already. Got out of hospital yesterday evening and so happy to be home with little bub.

@malimoon congrats on your little boy, enjoy him 😍

@malimoon congratulations!!

Hope everyone else is doing well and surviving on little sleep and lots of cuddles 🥰

@TripleESept24 how are you getting on? Any improvement on the sleep and feeding side? Xx

@malimoon congratulations 🎉

@HuggingAnIcePack887 thank you! Slightly jealous you have a ginger baby too! My husband is a red head and I was hoping for at least one - but my boys are clones of their dad, just with my colouring.

@SpicyMoth your little one is getting even more adorable. 😍

@SantasRubiksCube I think the sundown scaries come for us all no matter how many times you've done it before. 🙈 Hoping your recovery speeds up a bit, that makes it all harder to still be physically sore while trying to deal with the mental load of keeping smallies safe and well.

@WinsandSam I feel like feeding may be improving. But I have an infant feeding one on one at the hospital tomorrow too where they will assess everything. Sleeping, still not in crib! Will only settle with me/on me so very hard and tiring!!

I am currently in Maternity triage! I've had a bad few nights with fever, cole shivers but boiling hot dripping with sweat. Lower back pain, headache feeling generally really unwell. I had a UTI earlier in my pregnancy and I'm convinced it's that again so they are checking me over! 😣 It's just adding to how difficult things have been feeling unwell on top of it!

@TripleESept24 oh no, poor you! Hope it's something that can be easily treated. You must be exhausted.
Pleased to hear the feeding is getting a bit better and that you have your appointment tomorrow. Been thinking about you.
Ah little monkey not going in the crib. Sounds like co sleeping is your way forward. I just think some babies don't like cots. But as long as you're getting some sleep even with baby on you. I just prop up my arms with pillows so she can't fall on the days she won't settle in her cot. I've become custom to a 2hr afternoon nap when I can, makes a huge difference

Any mums of more than 1 kids got any tips and tricks for me 🙈

DH is back to work tomorrow so it means time for me to do the school run on my own for the first time with 2 kids - I'm so anxious.

I have a 4 year old who is currently being very awkward in a morning - it's a job trying to get him to eat his breakfast. I have to dress him or he'll never get dressed. Same with brushing his teeth.

Then what if baby starts crying and needs feeding whilst I'm trying to get him ready?

Everytime I put her in the pushchair she seems to wake and cries and then wants feeding. What do I do if she does that as I'm walking down the street and she starts screaming and wants feeding?!

Aaaaah I'm so scared and stressed thinking about it 🙈

@BeautyAndTheBump1 my DH went back last week so I had to do playschool drop off for my toddler with baby in tow. Not going to lie, I was late most days. 🙈

Think having a 4 year old on the way to school is probably a little tougher than a toddler going to playschool because the times are more rigid but just in case this is useful, things that helped:

• having breakfast laid out the day before. Cereal in a bowl in a Ziploc bag, spoon on the table, fruit cup up in the fridge. Had yogurt pouches ready as a back up 'treat' as my toddler is obsessed.
• lunch bag packed the day before in the fridge
• clothes laid out for all 3 of us
• showering the night before and accepting I would look like a grub on the drop off run
• mentally bracing myself for tears from all 3 of us. It was unavoidable at times to have one of them be upset but I had myself prepared for it emotionally and reminded myself how temporary it would be. Made sure I ate too in the morning because everything feels worse when you're hungry.
• lowered my expectations and had TV breakfasts - hate screen time at the table but need to survive the newborn stage more
• using the sling for drop off because I didn't want to leave the youngest in the car unattended, even for 5 minutes in the carpark

Best of luck with it!!

@WinsandSam Thank you for thinking of me. I have also been having afternoon naps with her which are so needed.

I didn't get any answers really from triage, nothing immediate or obvious from my urine sample however they've sent it off for testing..... Think it could potentially be more viral, I've done a COVID test, it's not that. Could just have flu!? Not sure but they'll let me know if anything comes back from lab with the urine sample!

It's horrible because I am just dripping with sweat and poor baby girl is attached to me feeding and she's getting drenched/back of her hair is soaked after being attached for a feed 😭

I'm managing some sleep whilst she's in my bed/on me but it's not very comfy for me and at the moment whilst I'm sweating so badly the nights are extremely uncomfortable

@TripleESept24 you're welcome! Glad you are also getting naps in.

Well hopefully you get some results which mean it can be treated so you can feel a bit better. The sweating must be awful, I'm already sweaty without being ill. Having a small human attached is like a furnace anyway

@TripleESept24 just to say that DS (three weeks tomorrow) also still won’t be put down to sleep, or put down anywhere really! 15 mins in the Moses or the bouncer, less than 10 in the next to me crib. It’s so, so hard.

@WinsandSam hospital called this morning they did flu and covid swabs its not flu COVID was inconclusive they wanted me to retest but I did a home lateral flow last night and it was negative. They don't have urine results back yet..... I'm convinced it's urinary/bladder/kidneys..... I've had enough UTIs and issues before the pain last night in my lower back was ridiculous and the fever/sweating again bed was absolutely soaked. I did Google aswell and see that a dip urine test can be just 30% reliable. I am just hoping the lab results come back and show something so I don't have to just keep riding this horrible wave every night 😣

@Decaffe same she's not keen in the bouncer chair either we try sit her in there whilst we eat dinner together and she just screams the whole time 😭

Esme hasn't done a poo in over 24 hours/since yesterday morning. I am supposed to have a midwife home visit today but had a missed call from them at 10.43am whilst we were napping. hoping they are still coming. I had to cancel the hospital one on one infant feeding thing at 10am this morning, I just felt so ill and had such a rough night I cancelled it at like 7.30 this morning and asked them to rearrange.

Another thing I don't know if anyone else's baby has, and I was going to mention to midwife today is Esme constantly has a white tongue. I read this can just be milk build up or oral thrush. We have tried getting it off with a sterilised soft finger brush and it doesn't come off easily so I wanted their opinion.

@TripleESept24 any chance you have mastitis? Symptoms sound the exact same, though you'd have a sore & red spot on your breast too.

Anyone any tips for getting a toddler to nap while looking after a newborn? Mine just had a 45 minute tantrum before he cried himself to sleep that has me feeling like the world's shittest mum rn. I would have given up even trying to get him to rest but he's sick and was literally manic with tiredness after waking up at 5. He's always needed a lot of cuddles and calm environment to fall asleep but that's not easy when you have a fussing newborn in the room that needs attention too. 😅 Lying beside him with the baby now, literally racked with guilt.

@TripleESept24 well I hope they find a cause so you can be treated. You're going through the wars and are seriously being tested right now!

Re the white tongue, Ruby has a thick coating on hers too. I think it's just milk rather than thrush

@kc92 thanks so much for that list, it was really helpful! I can confirm I survived to tell the tale 😅 my 4yo was on his best behaviour for me and baby fed at a perfect time. So there were no tears from any of us 😂 fully aware it won't be like that every day but it gave me a confidence boost!

Thrush is very much over-diagnosed in babies. It’s very uncommon for thrush to just affect the tongue, you’d usually see white spots/areas over the gums and on the inside of cheeks and lips as well as on the tongue in true cases of thrush. If there is white on the tongue only it’s fairly safe to assume it’s just milk.

So I'm currently sat in queens medical centre waiting for antibiotics!! It was a UTI!! @WinsandSam @kc92 Knew it wasn't mastitis boobs are soft and comfortable..... I knew my own body and I knew this was an infection!!

Esme has dropped weight again 7 Ibs 5oz so it's now 11.6% loss, she is 16 days old and was 8 lb 6oz birth weight. the health visitor is coming tomorrow to make a plan for tonight I'm just going to start my antibiotics and FEED FEED FEED 😓😣

I don’t want to worry you unduly but to still be losing weight at 16 days old is quite unusual and concerning. Breastfeeding is complex and sometimes babies have slower than expected weight gain while they and mama get to grips with feeding but you’d expect gains at this stage. Also, once weight loss exceeds 10% is usually when healthcare professionals will want to intervene. To still be losing weight means something is awry with feeding causing insufficient milk intake. This could be to do with positioning and attachment during a feed, feeding frequency, milk supply or a combination of all.
I hasten to add, health visitors are often not the best with breastfeeding support. It is likely when your HV sees baby today that they will recommend topping baby up with formula. It’s really important if you want to persevere with breastfeeding that you’re given support with this. You ideally need to see someone from
your trust’s infant feeding team or, if you can afford it, a private lactation consultant. You need a feeding plan formulated, telling you exactly how much to top up, when you express and when to feed. You need to have a feed observed and be supported in optimising the position and latch.

It may be helpful to look up some IBCLCs on social media. Kathryn Stagg on instagram is one that comes to mind as she shares a lot of information that I think might be useful to your situation.

Hey everyone. Having a real struggle with feeding (and mum guilt!). Baby has never been able to latch. We had about 10 different midwives and the infant feeding team try to help us in hospital and he just couldn’t do it. Consensus was his jaw was a bit too small at 37 weeks and time would help so I started pumping and combined it with formula. Time didn’t really help. We managed one successful latch and every other attempt distressed baby. He had a tongue tie snipped and still couldn’t latch. I’ve found pumping draining because it’s time consuming (usually needs to be done when I could sleep) and I can only get enough for one feed a day. Plus I don’t know how I’d fit it around leaving the house, so it’s made me house-bound.

I booked a cranial osteopath appointment but the first appointment available is not until the end of October. So I decided to stop pumping and go formula-only. I thought I was okay with this until baby has developed suspected CMPA. Reflux was getting worse, he was totally unsettled and uncomfortable on anti-reflux formula, and there’s been a couple of other symptoms too so GP suggested I try a prescribed formula to see if it changes anything. But now I’m worried I’m not setting him up well in life if I only give CMPA formula. Like he’ll miss out on benefits to the immune system and gut health because I can’t breastfeed him. I also chose to have a c-section so now I’m worried I made the wrong choice and he’ll develop lots of allergies because he didn’t get the benefits of a vaginal birth as he’s possibly got an allergy already. I feel guilty for not persevering more with the breastfeeding. But the latch hurts and he won’t suck so doesn’t get much out. And I think my supply is now drying up as I haven’t pumped in 6 days. Also, I’d now have to cut dairy and soy from my diet which feels quite hard. And expensive as I will have to have separate meals from my husband and eating will just become more of an effort when I already have a very limited appetite since the birth. I don’t know if that’s worth it for one feed a day? Really struggling with the guilt of balancing convenience and comfort for me with what’s best for baby long-term.

Baby’s weight gain is already too slow and he’s only at 7lb 5 3.5 weeks after birth (birth weight of 7 lb 14). That’s partly why CMPA is suspected because he won’t take more formula (and brings a lot up and poos it out quickly).

sorry for the long post! Think I just needed to get it all off my chest.

@RosiePH that all sounds so hard! In my opinion a healthy happy mum leads to a healthy happy baby. Whatever is best for your physical and mental wellbeing is exactly the right choice for your baby. ❤️

Pumping is draining IMO and tongue ties are so hard to deal with. The discomfort of it isn't to be underestimated. Plenty of breastfed babies get CMPA or other allergies and the most important thing is you're working with his doctors to make a plan for him. Their digestive systems are still so little at this stage and you'll find a feeding plan that works for him.

My eldest was vaginal delivery & breastfed and he catches every bug going. 🥲 His cousin is the same age, C-section and formula fed and is healthy as a horse. There are so many factors that influence health long-term, as long as you love them things tend to work out.

Mom guilt is an absolute killer but it sounds like you're doing great by him.

@TripleESept24 oh bless you, glad they figured out you did have an infection and you can now be treated. Breastfeeding is hard at the best of times let alone when you’re fighting an infection yourself.
I really hope they can give you the support that you and esme need as to still be losing weight at the age she is, is quite concerning. The nhs guidance is for a baby to regain birth weight within 10-14 days.

@RosiePH breastfeeding is so difficult and you’ve already given your little one the best start you can. But a fed baby is a happy baby and it’s important for you to be happy too. When breastfeeding becomes hard or affects your emotionally you have to look at what can be done. And triple feeding is absolutely exhausting (I did it with my eldest as I felt so guilty not giving her breast milk as she was prem but her weight gain was so slow hence the formula, I felt like I wanted to hold on to the last piece of breast feeding but ultimately we went to formula and just choosing one way to feed her really helped with my mental health and bonding) You’re doing amazing!

@Theheckwhat you aren't unduly worrying me I've been worried myself whilst struggling and battling an illness. I have plenty of support now going forward on a daily basis from the infant feeding team and health visitors.

@Emmaev yes I know it's worrying, she has been diagnosed with oral thrush today I'm just at the pharmacy picking up prescription for her.