Due February 2025 - Thread 3

[UrbanSquirrel]

Following on from the two existing threads, welcoming all the intrepid ladies due in February, for further excellent support 🤗

Now I'm starting to feel targeted by the NHS for my birth options appointment 👀 Is it because they think I'm old? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂

Well, ladies, consider me your guinea pig. I will report back! I suspect it's just to make sure I have 'all the necessary information' as I was quite firm on a section from the start.

(Of course not desirable or appropriate for everyone ☺️ but I've done a lot of research and it's the best option for us for various reasons.)

@UrbanSquirrel I’ve got one too but mine is because I’ve previously had a c section so they want to try and encourage me to have another (but I’m going to try for a VBAC if baby moves out of this breech position they’ve got themselves into!).

A friend of mine asked for an elective section and she was given a consultant appointment to discuss it; they basically just go through the pros and cons of each type of birth and then if you still want a section, you might get booked in there and then! If you mentioned it early to your midwife she may have referred you on early and got you in the system straight away which is amazing!

@retrievermum That's really helpful, thank you! Very much hope your baby is obliging and allows you the VBAC you want ☺️ x

@UrbanSquirrel thank you! How exciting that after your appointment, you might know for almost certain when you’re meeting your baby! 🩷

aww she looks so cute! What an amazing scan @UrbanSquirrel I am tempted myself now!

And no birth options appointment for me either yet @UrbanSquirrel - I’d originally thought I wanted to go water birth route, but wondering if elective C section might be better for me too. So please do report back!

@EastLondonCoffeeFiend out of interest I Googled it, and water births can be possible with an induction. I wanted one years ago with my first, so thank you for mentioning it!

Has anyone had a sudden increase in movement at any point? This pregnancy, baby has been fairly chilled out, and I’ve felt movement a few times a day but not much more really, but for the last couple of days it’s increase dramatically!
Baby was breech at a scan I had last week, which I knew based on kicks anyway, but I think they’ve moved now…could this be why? I’m 27 weeks today so also could just be baby getting bigger and stronger?
I’ve rang my community midwife but she hasn’t replied, not sure if I should ring PAU just to ask and check it’s normal (I’m fairly sure it is, just looking for reassurance really!)

Week 27 is apparently the week you feel the most movement, if that helps x

I've had a huge increase and only 23 weeks, nothing to worry about 😊

I wanted to share a really great podcast I've been listening to, the Birth-Ed podcast on Spotify. Totally worth a listen, lots of research backed information about pregnancy, birth options etc. As a first time mum it's helped me so much to make decisions that felt too big to think about!!

Thank you! I’ve been looking for a good podcast. Will give it a listen

I've noticed a lot more movement the last few days - I'm 26 weeks tomorrow. Hoping it's all normal as baby is getting bigger!

Hey, does anyone else just feel as though they aren’t having time to enjoy this pregnancy because work/life is just so busy? It’s my third but my work is unbelievably busy all I am doing is working and sleeping!! And spending time with the kids at the weekend, I just want to slow down a bit 🙄

Yep definitely! This is my 2nd but with working full time and busy weekends especially with the run up to Christmas coming it's like a completely different pregnancy to the first!

I just wanted to recommend a book that is honestly one of the best books I’ve read this year and definitely the best about pregnancy/motherhood. It’s called Matrescence by Lucy Jones, it’s very thought provoking - it’s made me go from wanting to give birth in a birthing pool with no pain relief to seriously considering asking for a c section! It’s also made me feel more confident in my decision not to breast feed. It doesn’t so much endorse either of these so much as discuss the influences/pressures women face when trying to make decisions. She also writes really great articles for The Guardian, I loved this - www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/21/it-felt-shameful-the-profound-loneliness-of-modern-motherhood

This pregnancy has passed in a blur! I don't work, but with having so many other children, and so many other things happening in life at the moment, it's taken a back seat and feels like it's just another thing that's happening. I can't believe how there's only 13 weeks left!

I'm also finding it hard to enjoy this pregnancy and then I feel guilty. I felt a lot more sick this time than my 1st pregnancy for the first trimester and now I am already struggling with aches and pains. Also running around after a toddler and working, it's hard to just stop and soak it in as a few others have also said. Now that I can feel the baby moving a lot more I'm going to try and take more time out in my day (probably evening time) to just relax a bit and connect more with baby girl. I had so many more moments in my first pregnancy where I would sit and just stroke my bump and feel the kicks. Life is a lot busier this time around xx

Thanks so much for the book recommendation @Moyaingoya! It sounds like it's worth a read. I feel slightly as though I'm going against the grain by aiming for a c-section and by choosing not to breast feed (good personal reasons for both, or so I tell myself), and it would be comforting to read something which offers a broader context for both. Comforting to hear that I'm not the only one thinking of formula feeding either 🤗

And as to the more general question in terms of pregnancy speed, I know! I'm 27+1 now and it's all starting to feel terrifyingly close. I can't imagine how dizzying it must be for those who already have children 😂 I've been sorting maternity leave (we are interviewing for my mat cover tomorrow), researching stuff we need to buy, spending way too much time buying baby clothes on Vinted, getting Christmas presents bought and wrapped well in advance, just in case (we host), and it really does feel as though time is running away with me!

@Redapple21 I can completely relate to this. Sometimes, awful as it sounds, I resent being pregnant because it means I can’t play with my daughter how I’d like to etc, and then also feel so guilty.

I’m also having horrible feelings of “I’ve ruined her (DD’s) life” by having another one so soon, but trying to remind myself that I’m giving her (hopefully!) a friend for life

Oh yes I have all of these feelings too! My son gets so upset when I hold friends babies and says 'it's my mummy' so I'm really worried about how he will be. Such a rollercoaster of emotions isn't it xx

Totally agree @Redapple21 this second trimester has really been busy and I keep having whole hours pass where I'm so consumed with work that I forget I'm pregnant, then feel oddly guilty when I remember. I really hope we will all have a much more gentle time after Christmas - we'll certainly need it! In some ways, for me anyway, it's not bad timing in terms of timing my energy levels with the work cycle.

Difference makes the world go around, so I hope you will forgive me @Moyaingoya if I say that Matresence is the only pregnancy book I've read which left me me absolutely raging 😂. I totally agree that some of the "natural" birth stuff can be toxic and unrealistic (cough cough Siobhan Miller's Hypnobirthing book) but I thought Matresence really lacked evidence beyond the author's own experience. She is a journalist and her book has been widely pushed by the publishing industry, instead of books based on evidence written by people with decades of experience, and this bothers me. Books like Milli Hill's Positive Birth book, which actually says all kinds of births can be positive births. Still, I think it's good to see anything that adds to the overall sense that we have choices and that there is support for all those choices. X

I feel like it’s passing in a blur because I haven’t told work yet or bought a single thing!!

Im having an elective section and having been at every kind of birth from EMCS with GA to a very free flowing, minimal intervention, music playing, breathe it out delivery - I can honestly say there’s pros and cons to every one.

Do the personal pros cons list would be my advice, listen to all the opinions and then disregard 90% of the crap you hear/read and see which one is for you, it might be different every time you’re pregnant x

Thanks very much for the alternative perspective @CarrotySnack! In a way I'm even more tempted now to read it to see how it makes me feel 😂 I have found it hard to find books which don't seem to be pushing one kind of agenda or another.

But perhaps that doesn't really matter any more, as we're getting towards the end, and actually having you lot around for company over the last six months has been better - and considerably more helpful - than any of the books I dutifully bought back at the start!!!

@UncharteredWaters I rather love your perspective on just listening to everyone and then doing whatever you damn well want 😉 What's right for each of us is likely to be subtly different and yet, as you say, that doesn't stop it being absolutely the right thing for us...

@UrbanSquirrel what to expect when your expecting wasn’t bad - well I’ve read the chapters about each month eg in month 5 expect these movements or this strange symptom.

I haven’t read the labour and delivery bot but for 1.69 in the baby shop it was good!