Sept 2024 - Thread 9!

[SpicyMoth]

Continuation from the previous thread before it fills up - we're getting so close ladies, ahhhhh!!!

Previous thread here; https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5094920-september-2024-thread-8?page=39&reply=136855271

This is exactly what we did! (Starting naps in her room from 4 months) that way when she went into her own room at 6 months she was used to the cot, and not phased by the change of scenery. Definitely plan on doing that again this time, too!

Good luck with the garage conversion 😬 we’ve spent the day sanding and filling the hallway ready to paint. I know how much won’t be done once baby is here so we’re on a countdown too 🤞🏻

I also just attempted an “everything shower” and was going to whack on some gradual tan to try and crack out some shorts or dresses for the first week of summer hols. But I got too tired 😂 I will try again tomorrow ….
Feeling so nervous for my placenta location scan on Wednesday now 😳

I’m finally 34 weeks today and my most pregnant I’ve ever been. I’m so happy that baby is still cooking away and my body hasn’t packed up this time!

@HRP1990 i realised reading back that it sounds like my husband will be sleeping in the garage.. I promise it’s just an office space for him and he will in fact still be allowed in the house 😂 good luck with the painting and take it easy, I recently painted our bedroom and although it nearly ended me, it was such a relief to have it done.

Exactly that, our girl was the same. By having her room as a play/chill space from day one then for naps later on, she moved from our room to hers so easily, she actually slept much better in there through the night. So really hoping we can get as much of it done as poss before this one arrives!

@Emmaev congratulations! That’s got to be a bit relief. And well done for making it through the worry and anxiety that likely came with making it to this point 💪🏻

Hi, hope you don’t mind me joining in, I’m 33 weeks yesterday. Just wondering if any of you have felt hiccups yet? Im sure last time I had by now, but have an anterior placenta this time, not sure if that makes a difference?!

So many older people warned me about this before and it’s getting there. People with their unsolicited advice. I can’t I’m this close to telling a friend to fuck off right now because they’re coming with their parenting opinions about what my husband should and shouldn’t do when the baby arrives and the conversation is not even about that. I fucking can’t. Pardon my language but…I don’t know how am I going to cope with people and their half arsed opinions.

DIY for some reason is like nesting to me, I can’t help it 🙈 I’ve wallpapered, stripped furniture, sanded, painted etc.. I just can’t seem to take it easy when I hit the third trimester! We were ( and still are) renovating when I was pregnant with my daughter and I was doing it all right up until she was born 😂🙃

You’ll get it done! There’s nothing like a due date to hurry a project along lol

Oh my goodness it is so real. And as the pregnancy goes on, people’s opinions become more insistent (almost like they’re panicking that I haven’t heard them yet?) and my own tolerance for it decreases because I just don’t have any capacity to deal with it! So it feels so much more overwhelming. There’s only so many times you can smile and nod politely while mentally strangling someone 😂

I have felt them once, at 31 weeks exactly, also with an anterior placenta. 😊

Despite having many conversations about when we might be ready for family to come and stay (general gist = we would like the first two weeks when DH is off to be just the three of us but after that we’ll see how I’m feeling, also we only have one bathroom which I read I may continue to need quick access to), DM announced at the weekend that her ‘current plan’ is to come and stay with us starting two nights before my section, that way ‘she’ll be here waiting for us when we come back from the hospital.’ 😳

My DM is very excited to have a grandchild but is one of those house guests who needs to be hosted. (She came to stay after my first surgery ‘to help me’ but would lie in til lunch then wanted to go out shopping or painting. Whereas I needed help with making food, laundry, cleaning up etc!)

Although I said no chance explained again that we wouldn’t want house guests for the first two weeks, I can foresee some resentment and difficult conversations ahead!

@Lillers

@Decaffe I know someone who had this issue, someone I know had a relative come to “help with childcare” but actually turned up for rent free holiday. Few weeks later started going to stay at other relatives houses for 3 days at a time because said household was “too boring”.

@Decaffe by the way my sister insisted to come visit the baby first weeks after delivery and I told her no and my mom told her it’s too early and now she won’t talk to me so whatever.

I feel it with the peoples opinions it drives me up the wall.

I have also said no one staying in the house for at least 6 weeks but how that's going to work I don't know. My partners family all live 4 hours away and mine are close so I don't want to be unreasonable and say they can't see the baby when mine have but also he only gets 2 weeks off and I want the weekends to be him looking after me and the baby not hosting a house full of people which I hate at the best of times! Genuinely my biggest concern for having the baby at the minute which is crazy.

@Decaffe my friend has a MIL who is a bit insistent like this, first she asked my friend's husband whether friend would prefer her to be in the delivery suite or just waiting outside when the baby arrived (the answer was "neither") and then she turned up on their doorstep about 2 days after baby came home (despite being told they would let her know when they were ready for visitors), unfortunately for her they bumped into her when they were on the way out back to hospital as baby hadn't been feeding, so she didn't get to do her surprise visit after all... My friend's husband is her only child and she is a widow so I think puts lot of weight and expectation on him, but he's been doing his best to manage her for my friend's sake

@rupertbear91 I have something a bit similar where my family are right here and partner's parents two hours, two and a half ish hours away. I wondered about asking my parents if they could stay with them if they come down to visit (would just be an overnight) as then they can be close by but I won't have to do the hosting. PIL are already booked to visit his sister overseas in October (I think planned before they knew about baby) so they will need to come relatively soon after he gets here or not see him for several weeks after. But I'm sure we will work it out

@Decaffe I’m due on 25th Sept, but because of the GD likely to be induced a week or 2 early… I’ve banned DH from letting his family know this because otherwise FIL & Step-MIL will be doorstepping us on the day I go in to have her. I know this because it’s what they did to her son when his gf had their baby. I’ve also said that if anybody comes round before I’m ready, me and baby are closing ourselves into our bedroom and refusing to come out until they leave, and DH can deal with it.

I told my sister this and she fully agreed with this plan - I said I don’t want to see anyone for at least 2 weeks and she said, “absolutely - except for us, we know you’ll want us there sooner.” No no no. Bedroom. Door. Shut.

I’ve felt hiccups quite a lot with my anterior placenta (I’m 30 weeks now and they been going on for the last 3 or so) but my placenta is right at the top so I’ve probably felt more movement and earlier than usual. I got to hear the hiccups at my last midwife appointment as the Doppler picked them up! Was so cute.

I regret telling family about my c-section date. Have had a few suggestions that they’ll be taking the day off and days after which is quite stressful! No guarantees I won’t be bumped from the list anyway, or still in surgery or recovery during the one hour of visiting hour my hospital offers. And I just don’t know how I feel yet about having people round so soon! Especially as some of these guests will need to be told to wash their hands and not kiss the baby….

I feel you ladies who have relatives just a drive away. Luckily all ours are in different countries. But if they insist on earlier visit it’s more complicated because of the health hazard, as they will have travelled through public places and on airplanes which are bacterial and viral nests. My biggest concern is the unstable immunity of a baby. My mom explained it takes about 2 months to stabilize to a somewhat reasonable level so I am not going to be exposing him to potentially foreign bacteria no matter the relationship cost. If people can’t get over it it just proves my point, they’re too selfish to be around an infant.

I’m abit more lax when it comes to visitors, however I have made a mental note of who has/hasn’t made the effort to spend time with my daughter and offer us help whilst I’m pregnant. I know it’ll be those who have showed no interest so far will want to be first through the door!

@HRP1990 PREECH SISTER!! Thats exactly the same type of stance I'm taking - plus, your presence means more than your presents!! I've people in my life who will come armed with baby sh&t but expect to be waited on hand and foot while here. And I've others who come with a homemade lasagne, hold the baby and order me into the shower.... orr allow me feed and unload the dishwasher. I know who's more welcome!

@PinkWatermelon88 Love that! “your presence means more than your presents” might pop that on the front door 😂

We had issues first time round with DH siblings, who decided to come to see us a few days after DS was born after they finished work. With the expectation they would be fed dinner by us 😤

This time round I've told DH that we're going to be setting dates/times and people can argue between them when they come over. We'll have the kettle, tea/coffee out on the kitchen side and people can help themselves. They also know where the sink is to wash up what they've used. I am full out refusing to "host".

Just need to work out how to deal with MIL now. She'll be looking after DS when I go in to have the baby, but she'll want to do things her way (having DS at hers, not taking him to nursery, getting him out of usual routine). I'd like him to have as much normality as possible as getting a new brother/sister is disruption enough! But I just don't have the energy to deal with it right now.

I echo this @Emmaev I know it's been tough for you to get to this point.
Congratulations! Here's to enjoying your last 6 weeks or so 🤞🏼🥰

Just caught up on the thread. Regarding the visitors talk. This is something that's stressing me internally quite a bit. I was thinking of firing a WhatsApp to family, friends and neighbours (I live on a small lane of 7 cottages, no children at all on here for decades and everyone is lovely and so excited to see baby) saying something along the lines of, baby arrived, blah blah blah, maybe a cute pic of feet or something vague but cute and just adding at the end, we can't wait for everyone to meet her but we'll will let you know when we're ready as mum
and baby want to rest and bond for a few days. Do you think people will take notice or just turn up anyway? I think I'll be mad if they ignore it though tbh

@MudandMoet it sounds like a reasonable strategy and if they then ignore you and try to come over anyway, you/your partner can very fairly be like, 'sorry we did say we'd let you know' and not let them in!

i mean i have no idea what it will be like. the only grandchildren on either side of the family so far were all born overseas (australia/america) so this is a new situation for everybody! my mum (close by) has already said to just let her know whether i want her to come over and cook and do things around the house, or whether i want time alone with the baby (i probably won't know until he gets here!). i might need to ask my dad to drive us home from the hospital (partner has a driving licence and is insured on the car, but hasn't driven for literally years - i do it all), so he might see baby very early. and my sisters i think will be respectful of what i tell them re: when i'm ready.