Sept 2024 - Thread 9!

[SpicyMoth]

Continuation from the previous thread before it fills up - we're getting so close ladies, ahhhhh!!!

Previous thread here; https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5094920-september-2024-thread-8?page=39&reply=136855271

Congratulations!!! 🎊 @MalibuAndPineapple82

Back for a rant on feeling highly emotional and stressed.

I feel like with 2 weeks left at work I should be winding down/handing over now but it's not like that at all! My work load is high, with really stressful and complicated insurance renewals and it's just really getting me down. On top of the worry with constant repeating of my bloods because of liver function!!

I realllllllly didn't want to finish early because I am going to struggle once I go down from the 90% of salary in first 6 weeks down to just SMP. So I wanted to get a full month salary August, and my 90% salary in Sept otherwise I'm going to massively struggle.

😥😥😥 I'm going to have a word with my Team leader tomorrow and say if I'm going to continue for the next two weeks I really am going to need to start winding down and some work load taken off of me. They have insurance renewals assigned to me right up to the end of August! And I just don't think I will be able to catch up and get all of them out.

Ughhhh my stress levels and hormones are through the roof.

@TripleESept24 I’m sorry they’ve been piling the work on! It is really stupid of them to do that, because if you can’t handle the work they give you, then you’ll end up going off early so they won’t have you at all?! They probably haven’t even considered that. Definitely point that out to your boss, because it’s either they have you for 2 more weeks and some cases get done, or they lose you early and none of it gets done.

Either way, be kind to yourself - I know it’s so hard when deadlines are pressing and we still feel the need to perform at a top level, but right now you just can’t do it to your normal standard and that’s ok.

@TripleESept24 sorry you're dealing with that and I echo what Lillers says- you can't do it all and that's their planning problem, not yours!

I've got three weeks part time left and honestly while there's lots of value that I can still add (and handovers to write up) there's also lots that I can't do to my usual standard and I've not been shy about reminding my manager of that. I was trying to follow some technical advice from a colleague last week and they might as well have been speaking another language, I just couldn't follow along at all! I'm definitely at the 'write lists of next steps for other people and make sure things are filed properly' stage rather than leading on technically detailed work anymore.

@TripleESept24 I really feel for you. I'm a solicitor but not in the UK and I only get 16 weeks mat leave so trying to squeeze every bit of time in but I have given up at 37.5 weeks. Some of my bosses have been great but some have not and like you won't let me hand over even though my colleagues are lovely and eager to help! One woman in particular has been horrendous and the reason I am going off early. It's not even good management because I could go off at any time so surely you want things done and handed over professionally for the happiness of the client??

It's been a real eye opener for me. I now understand why some women don't go back to work or change jobs because the bad blood is there now, at least for me!

Thanks @Lillers @PoppingUp @HuggingAnIcePack887

We have a catch up meeting tomorrow anyway and I'm going to be brutally honest and say I just feel like there is too much on me with less than 2 full weeks to go and that there is no chance some of the renewals they have assigned to me will be done before I go and things will need to be reassigned!

It's hard because it's a small company and they have just hired someone in to cover me during maternity and then spreading anything else across two other colleagues. So yes it might mean more work for them but at the end of the day it's not my problem/they are going to have to assign the work our fairly!

@TripleESept24 I’ve seen before expecting ladies empathise with their employers because they are a small company.
please be assured, if push came to shove and they had to make a decision against you they would, and they would likely use the excuse “because they are a small company”.
I know you want to do your best, but it’s just a job and this small company is not yours. They’ve clearly laid out work without having you on their mind.

Just back from doc, baby has turned again and is now transverse. Back to spinning babies and the bouncing ball I go!

I worked in a feminist NFP on my first baby and the way I was treated was horrendous. You’re only a number and it’s blatantly obvious. Plus something weird happens with other women who either have their own families or always wanted them and didn’t have the chance… it’s like a jealousy or bregrudgery that rubs off. Such a toxic mix! Hope these next few weeks aren’t any more stressful than they need to be @TripleESept24 x

@TripleESept24 i can sympathise I am due to finish next Friday and got told last week that it “wasn’t ideal”. Have two clients ongoing and they are pushing to get the 7 sets of accounts approved before I go off. Trying very hard not to stress but I am quite hormonal atm and am getting very fed up of the stroppy messages I am receiving.

Congratulations @MalibuAndPineapple82 she is beautiful! Glad to hear you are both doing well. What a spontaneous labour!

My work are actually being ok, and I think they will be ok if I bring it up tomorrow that I need things reassigning or decide to finish early! It's just me wanting to do everything and just physically not being able to tbh!! I've just got some absolute shitters in my last few weeks and it's sooooo not needed 😭

Well my induction started at 6pm and I’m having a complete mare with it already. The pessary fell out about 3 hours after being put in and I was in quite a bit of pain, been given some codeine and paracetamol and now been on monitor for nearly 2 hours as am having tightenings too often. They may have to put another propess in and start the clock again 😩 don’t want this to happen for a second time. Luckily my husband hadn’t gone home yet as I’m being a big wimp and need him here

@MrsMoggy what a nightmare, good luck!!!

Oh no @MrsMoggy sorry to hear you're having a bad time with it! Hopefully things have improved some now for you, good luck!

Any update @MrsMoggy ? I hope the second pessary stayed put and got you going 🤞🏼you are definitely not being a wimp, you're birthing a little human! You got this 💪🏼 xx

Hi, they didn’t put the pessary back in as I was Hyperstimulated which was causing baby (and me!) distress with seven tightenings in 10 minutes. Sent to labour ward in middle of the night where tightenings eventually tailed off. I am still only 2cm but they have just broken waters. I am hoping so much not to need the drip in case it ends up hyperstimulating again.

@MrsMoggy good luck!! Hope today goes smoothly and quickly for you 💕

@MrsMoggy you’re doing amazing! Birthing a child is not easy. Wishing you all the best.

Good luck @MrsMoggy hope all goes well for you x

I’ve had to go on the drip ☹️ so frustrated. They are being kind to me and upping it slowly but I’m shattered and dreading next few hours

Best of luck @MrsMoggy, this time tomorrow you will have baby in arms.

Congrats @MalibuandPineapple. Beautiful little one.

Yikes! it is all getting so real!

Just looking at car seats today and I'm a little confused, I wanted to get one that did a 360 (old mother here with bad back) but any reasonable priced ones seem to have a top tether. Do you have to unbuckle the top tether to get it to turn? Does the top tether not get in the way of putting baby in car seat if you don't unbuckle it - not too bad with a newborn but a squirming 6 month old might not be so easy?

Hi everyone! I’m due 21st of September 🕺, with my rainbow boy. I have everything sorted that I can think of, hospital bag is packed and in the car, the only thing I wanted a little bit of advice on was formula. I’m in the UK and I’ll have a 24-48 stay at least due to high risk and monitoring, I’m planning on breast feeding and have the pump etc, however just incase I can’t breastfeed or he doesn’t latch, what’s the best milk to pack in my bag? I’ve seen a few pack Kendamil ready made for just in case but I’ve not even looked at formula as I knew I would breastfeed but just incase I can’t I don’t know which is the best brand etc to just start with. I have asked my midwife and doctor but they legally can’t recommend one!

@Speccy27 my understanding on formula is that it's so tightly regulated, they're all pretty much the same! There are really strict criteria about how they can be made. My DH did some pretty nerdy research and thought Kendamil was 'best', but I'm just going to buy whatever one has the teats already on in our local supermarket, so that if baby likes it and I can't breastfeed it's easy to get hold of!

@Speccy27 Hey, welcome! My midwife said they’re more or less all the same except for the marketing, so the recommendation is to go for whichever one is easiest to get hold of local to you in case you ever need to send your partner out at 10pm to buy it in an emergency!
However she also said that the hospital can supply if you’ve been trying to bf and it really isn’t working - might be worth checking your hospital’s policy.
In my antenatal class I was told that feeding formula just in case might have a detrimental effect of breastfeeding going forward, but it’s personal to everyone, so up to you if that would make you feel more comfortable. I’ve also been told that babies are safe if they don’t eat for 24 hours after birth because they still have their own supplies, but I can’t imagine many mums would be comfortable leaving it that long if baby wasn’t feeding.
You might also want to look at harvesting colostrum from 37 weeks onwards, as you can use that to feed the baby while you’re establishing feeding. Your midwife should be able to give advice about it.
As a disclaimer, I’m currently pregnant with my first, so none of this advice is first hand experience! I’m sure some experienced mums will be along soon to share their thoughts on this too and you might want to listen more to their suggestions 😂

Hi!

I work on a neonatal unit and often have parents ask me the same question. The midwives won’t be able to recommend a formula because of the baby friendly initiative which prevents them from “promoting” brands and helps us to be seen as supporting breastfeeding.
You can refer to a website called first steps nutrition which is an independent public health website and gives you all of the information on formula milks. I don’t find the website the most user friendly so this is the link to the list of first milk formulas: https://infantmilkinfo.org/type-of-infant-milk/infant-formula/cows-and-goats-milk-based-infant-formula/

A quote from the website that I think is important to consider:
The nutrient content of infant milks sold in the UK is generally very similar as they are all formulated
to meet the same compositional regulations. Any differences between infant formula brands are
primarily due to the nutrient sources used and the addition of some non-mandatory ingredients.

In a nutshell, they’re all the same! A lot of what is perceived as differences between brands is just clever marketing.

And finally, this is a link to a PDF on the first steps nutrition website that I find really useful. It basically debunks all of the claims made by formula companies. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59f75004f09ca48694070f3b/t/5eba3eac6a3b687667d9891e/1589264046551/Claims_made_for_infant_formula_and_ingredients_May2020_final.pdf
An example being one brand describing their milk as scientifically closer to breast milk, which was found not to be true.

So, with all of this in mind, which formula you should choose is still a decision needed to be made. I would always say to start with the cheapest and most accessible to you. So, keep an eye in your usual supermarket over the next few weeks which brands always have tins in stock. And don’t go for the most expensive because you think it’s better, as it simply isn’t.