@MudandMoet oh my friend it’s a battle! We coslept in my bed since birth (she didn’t sleep for the first 18m of her life and the only respite we got was cosleeping. She slept for the first time 26/12/23 I’ll never forget it- best Christmas present ever! We moved her into her own room in April and I stayed in her bed with her while we transitioned her. We’re now at a stage where I can put her down (she point blank refuses to go for my partner) and leave for a few hours. But- my problem is when I’m away from her I can’t sleep with anxiety cos I’m afraid she’ll wake so I then don’t sleep at all!!! Lord knows how we’ll get on!
@PoppingUp the 4th trimester is the first 13 weeks after birth. Not only do we have newborns to mind, our bodies have gone through the greatest hit one shift of our lives- not even menopause and puberty match it. And so how can I mind myself in that? What do I need and from whom? What’s my plan for quietness as we establish breastfeeding? Do I need a no visitors rule for the first x? Pre-prepared freezer meals? How will my partner and I manage the sleep deprivation? What are my mental health red flags what I may not see and how can I make my partner aware of the signs? When do I need MH supports and what do they look like?
On my first I did the 10-10-10 Rule, 10 days in bed 10 on the bed and 10 by the bed. This time I’ve a small toddler at home so I don’t think I’ll quite manage that but I hope to achieve some sort of version of it. Many cultures around the world hold 4T so sacred with their own rituals and traditions but in the western world were expected to have normal life’s, see heaps of visitors, survive with little sleep, learn babies furies, have little no no help, get loads of presents that we don’t need or want and entertain those that bring the presents with gratitude. It can be very hard on parents.